534K
Downloads
404
Episodes
Do you want ideas for questions to deepen your conversations? Do you want to feel intimately connected to your spouse? Do you desire to parent with purpose? If so, tune in each Monday with Laura, a licensed marriage and family therapist who specialized in Christian sex therapy. She interviews the best faith-based speakers to answer our questions and doesn't shy away from a wide range of difficult topics. Sexual intimacy is discussed once a month so that you can delight in your marital relationship, feel equipped to teach your children about sex, and learn practical ways to overcome hurt or addiction. Episodes on health and wellness cover topics of hormones and free lifestyle swaps, perimenopause, and what simple practices yield HUGE health benefits. Marital experts teach conflict resolution that actually works, parenting pros share wisdom from newborns to adult children, business leaders let us in on secrets of the trade, and the foundation of everything is Jesus Christ! Find joy here and live on purpose as you consider, “What’s your savvy sauce?!"
Episodes
Monday Apr 18, 2022
Monday Apr 18, 2022
*DISCLAIMER: This episode discusses adult themes and is not intended for young ears.
179. Redeeming Heartache with Dr. Dan Allender
"How precious are your thoughts about me, O God. They cannot be numbered!" Psalm 139:17 (NLT)
Questions and Topics We Discuss:
-
How do you help others bridge "the story of the gospel and the stories of trauma and abuse that mark so many?"
-
Will you model this by going first?
-
If we are walking alongside a loved one who has experienced Trauma, what is your recommendation for ways we can best love, and honor, and support them?
Dr. Dan Allender has pioneered a unique therapy centered around his innovative theory and training in transforming betrayal, ambivalence, and powerlessness into faith, hope, and love. He is a professor of counseling psychology at The Seattle School and founder of The Allender Center, speaking on trauma, sexual abuse recovery, love and forgiveness, and intimacy. He’s a popular podcaster on The Allender Center Podcast and the author of Health the Wondered Heart, The Wounded Heart, The Healing Path, To Be Told and God Loves Sex.
Connect with Dr. Allender on Facebook or Instagram
At The Savvy Sauce, we will only recommend resources we believe in! We also want you to be aware: We are a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for us to earn fees by linking to Amazon.com and affiliated sites.
Thank You to Our Sponsor: Midwest Food Bank
Connect with The Savvy Sauce on Facebook or Instagram or Our Website
Please help us out by sharing this episode with a friend, leaving a 5-star rating and review, and subscribing to this podcast!
Gospel Scripture: (all NIV)
Romans 3:23 “for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God,”
Romans 3:24 “and are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus.”
Romans 3:25 (a) “God presented him as a sacrifice of atonement, through faith in his blood.”
Hebrews 9:22 (b) “without the shedding of blood there is no forgiveness.”
Romans 5:8 “But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”
Romans 5:11 “Not only is this so, but we also rejoice in God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have now received reconciliation.”
John 3:16 “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.”
Romans 10:9 “That if you confess with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.”
Luke 15:10 says “In the same way, I tell you, there is rejoicing in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner who repents.”
Romans 8:1 “Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus”
Ephesians 1:13–14 “And you also were included in Christ when you heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation. Having believed, you were marked in him with a seal, the promised Holy Spirit, who is a deposit guaranteeing our inheritance until the redemption of those who are God’s possession- to the praise of his glory.”
Ephesians 1:15–23 “For this reason, ever since I heard about your faith in the Lord Jesus and your love for all the saints, I have not stopped giving thanks for you, remembering you in my prayers. I keep asking that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, may give you the spirit of wisdom and revelation, so that you may know him better. I pray also that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints, and his incomparably great power for us who believe. That power is like the working of his mighty strength, which he exerted in Christ when he raised him from the dead and seated him at his right hand in the heavenly realms, far above all rule and authority, power and dominion, and every title that can be given, not only in the present age but also in the one to come. And God placed all things under his feet and appointed him to be head over everything for the church, which is his body, the fullness of him who fills everything in every way.”
Ephesians 2:8–10 “For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith – and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God – not by works, so that no one can boast. For we are God‘s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.“
Ephesians 2:13 “But now in Christ Jesus you who once were far away have been brought near through the blood of Christ.“
Philippians 1:6 “being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.”
Monday Apr 11, 2022
Monday Apr 11, 2022
178. Fresh Take on Hospitality with Jaime Farrell
Romans 12:13 (ESV) "Contribute to the needs of the saints and seek to show hospitality."
**Transcription Below**
Questions and Topics We Discuss:
-
What is your personal process (including practical and replicable suggestions) for making hosting a reality?
-
Do you ever have a stinky attitude about hosting?
-
How do you actually involve your kids in the process?
Jaime Farrell is first of all, a beloved of her Lord. She is also wife to Jonathan, and mother to Jorja, Jolie, Jemma, and Job. Once her children were school aged, she returned to working as a teacher in her local community. She can be reached on Facebook and she would also love to invite you to sit with her at church! Find out more about the church where her family attends and her husband serves as Lead Pastor at gracemorton.org.
Links to Everything Mentioned in Today's Episode:
At The Savvy Sauce, we will only recommend resources we believe in! We also want you to be aware: We are a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for us to earn fees by linking to Amazon.com and affiliated sites.
Sample of Games:
Wits and Wagers Family Edition
Websites:
Books:
When People are Big and God is Small
The Gospel Comes with a House Key
Recipes:
Other Savvy Sauce Episodes Related to Hospitality:
The Supernatural Power Present While Gathering at the Table with Devi Titus
Ideas for Meaningful Holiday Traditions with Mentor, Shawn Mazelin
The Story of Six Sisters' Stuff
Experiencing Joy, Connection, and Nourishment at the Table with Abby Turner
Patreon 12 Mentoring and Hospitality with Mentor, Shawn Mazelin
Patreon 37 Your Hospitality Personality with Morgan Tyree
Hospitality Related Articles:
Thank You to Our Sponsor: Midwest Food Bank
Connect with The Savvy Sauce on Facebook or Instagram or Our Website
Please help us out by sharing this episode with a friend, leaving a 5-star rating and review, and subscribing to this podcast!
Gospel Scripture: (all NIV)
Romans 3:23 “for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God,”
Romans 3:24 “and are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus.”
Romans 3:25 (a) “God presented him as a sacrifice of atonement, through faith in his blood.”
Hebrews 9:22 (b) “without the shedding of blood there is no forgiveness.”
Romans 5:8 “But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”
Romans 5:11 “Not only is this so, but we also rejoice in God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have now received reconciliation.”
John 3:16 “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.”
Romans 10:9 “That if you confess with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.”
Luke 15:10 says “In the same way, I tell you, there is rejoicing in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner who repents.”
Romans 8:1 “Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus”
Ephesians 1:13–14 “And you also were included in Christ when you heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation. Having believed, you were marked in him with a seal, the promised Holy Spirit, who is a deposit guaranteeing our inheritance until the redemption of those who are God’s possession- to the praise of his glory.”
Ephesians 1:15–23 “For this reason, ever since I heard about your faith in the Lord Jesus and your love for all the saints, I have not stopped giving thanks for you, remembering you in my prayers. I keep asking that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, may give you the spirit of wisdom and revelation, so that you may know him better. I pray also that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints, and his incomparably great power for us who believe. That power is like the working of his mighty strength, which he exerted in Christ when he raised him from the dead and seated him at his right hand in the heavenly realms, far above all rule and authority, power and dominion, and every title that can be given, not only in the present age but also in the one to come. And God placed all things under his feet and appointed him to be head over everything for the church, which is his body, the fullness of him who fills everything in every way.”
Ephesians 2:8–10 “For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith – and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God – not by works, so that no one can boast. For we are God‘s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.“
Ephesians 2:13 “But now in Christ Jesus you who once were far away have been brought near through the blood of Christ.“
Philippians 1:6 “being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.”
**Transcription**
[00:00:00] <Music>
Laura Dugger: Welcome to The Savvy Sauce, where we have practical chats for intentional living. I'm your host Laura Dugger, and I'm so glad you're here.
[00:00:18] <music>
Laura Dugger: Thank you to an anonymous donor to Midwest Food Bank who paid this sponsorship fee in hopes of spreading awareness. Learn more about this amazing nonprofit organization at midwestfoodbank.org.
I'm so happy to get to introduce you to today's guest and one of my dearest friends, Jaime Farrell. I've wanted to ask Jaime on The Savvy Sauce for a long time now because she lives her life in such an admirable way and she's a very joyful and energetic teacher.
Once all of her kids became school-age, she did return to work as a teacher. But her gift of teaching also comes out in other areas, such as at church or gathering small groups together. And now she's going to teach us all about hospitality.
Here's our chat.
Welcome to the savvy thoughts, Jaime. [00:01:20]
Jaime Farrell: Thanks so much for having me. This is such a joy.
Laura Dugger: Will you just start by giving us an overview of who you are and what you love to do?
Jaime Farrell: Sure. Hi, my name is Jaime Farrell, and above all, I am a beloved of Jesus. I am saved by Him and a follower of His. And then I'm also wife to Jonathan, who's a pastor at Grace Church in Morton, Illinois, and I'm mom to four kids that start with J: Jorja, Jolie, Jemma, and Job. I love to play games. I love to teach and I love to be warm, which makes living in Illinois sometimes tricky.
Laura Dugger: I love it. As you're sitting here with your hot water, that is very true. But you were always up for hosting families or couples or kids. And I hear about you and your cousin Shalom providing these huge meals for teachers. Anytime we're getting together, I know that you just always are going to show up with yummy treats. So when I think of the topic of hospitality, I totally picture you. [00:02:21] Where did this love of hospitality originate?
Jaime Farrell: Well, goodness, it's really humbling that you think of me because truly I know so many people who do this really well, yourself included, my friend Laura. So that is a conversation that I feel like we could have with multiple people.
I would say for me, specifically, loving hospitality originated from it being modeled to me. My parents, specifically my mom, just did this really well. My mom's been a caregiver her whole life. She lost her dad to a brain aneurysm at 12, and then at 15, her mom got hit by a drunk driver, which resulted in a brain injury. So her mom had to learn everything at that time and was truly never the same. [00:03:06]
So my mom was the middle of eight kids with the youngest two being handicapped. So from when she was 15 on, she was caring for people. And that just kind of flowed into her home as an adult. So because of these life experiences, my mom knew how to cook for a big crowd. She knew how to be okay with the chaos of a crowd. She knew how to have an open-door policy and almost expect the unexpected.
So I saw her bring people meals growing up. I saw her have people time and time again. We would welcome missionaries or guests into our home. She would always host the holidays because she had been cooking those meals since she was 15. And then she would consistently say yes to my friends coming over.
She just extended warmth to people at church. Like, I saw her greet people at church. And then I remember often her talking to people on the phone back when talking on the phone was a thing. So she would call them. So that example just kind of really paved the way for me to consider hospitality as normal and just part of life. [00:04:06]
But even though I had that beautiful motto, I would say there's still growth for me in hospitality because it looks so different for us in different stages. I've come into what hospitality looks like for me rather than what hospitality looks like for even my mom. My mom sets a beautiful table. And she's even done a couple of weddings. She just makes incredible food. I feel like she's more of a chef and I'm more of a cook. I'm more like a paper plate person. I would be very satisfied if I just bought you some pizza. So very different from my mom.
But to be honest, I think our natural bent as sinners is that we wouldn't choose to serve or consider others. So I believe that if we've been challenged by Jesus, then we're all growing in hospitality in some way, because I think that's fruit of Him that you would even consider others.
Laura Dugger: I love how you bring it back to Jesus because it just makes me think it was only a few days that the Lord created the earth. And how long has He been preparing a place for us in eternity? [00:05:07] And you're right, He's the one that fills us for this. But let's even back it up for just a moment. Can you just define hospitality for us and maybe share your favorite biblical inspiration for hospitality?
Jaime Farrell: Yeah. So I actually looked up hospitality in the dictionary. And it is the friendly and generous reception and entertainment of guests, visitors, and strangers. I actually thought that secular definition was so good. And just pulling apart those words, friendly I think of as warm and being a gatherer; generous, lavishing or pouring out; and then there's the word reception, welcoming, receiving people; and then entertainment, just enjoying each other, whether guests, visitors or strangers.
And again, that's a secular definition, right? But it's actually very much rooted in scripture. So hospitality, being friendly and generous, welcoming and enjoying guests, visitors, and strangers is just truly replete in scripture. [00:06:13] It is all over. So I'm just going to share some verses that when I think of hospitality, I think of these verses.
Romans 12:13 says to contribute to the needs of the saints and to pursue hospitality. Hebrews 13:1-2 says, "Brotherly love must continue. Do not neglect hospitality because through it some have entertained angels without knowing it."
1 Peter 4:7-9, "For the culmination of all things that is near. Come Lord Jesus. So be self-controlled and sober-minded for the sake of prayer. Above all, keep your love for one another fervent because love covers a multitude of sins." And then we often say that verse, but verse 9 comes right after it, which says, "Show hospitality to one another without complaining."
1 Timothy 3:2, "The overseer then must be above reproach, the husband of one wife, temperate, self-controlled, respectable, hospitable and an able teacher." [00:07:13] And we think of that in terms with my husband being a pastor. We believe that hospitality is something that we should practice as a family because he is an overseer.
Matthew 25:34-40, this is a parable that Jesus was talking about. And it says, "Then the king will say to those on his right, 'Come, you who are blessed by my Father, inherit the Kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world. For I was hungry, and you gave me food. I was thirsty, and you gave me something to drink. I was a stranger, and you invited me in. I was naked, and you gave me clothing. I was sick, and you cared for me. I was in prison, and you visited me.' Then these righteous will answer Him, 'Lord, when did we ever see you hungry and feed you? Or thirsty and give you something to drink? When did we see you as stranger and invited you in? Or naked and clothed you? When did we see you sick or in prison or visit you?' And the King will answer them, 'I tell you the truth, just as you did it to one of the least of these my brothers or sisters of mine, you did it for me!'" [00:08:12]
So practicing hospitality is practicing loving Jesus well. Honestly, really the more we understand the depth of God's grace to us personally, the more we're willing and ready to show that depth of grace to others. And I really believe that can be done through hospitality.
Hospitality it's just reflecting the gospel work in our lives. Jesus invited us in, so we should be willing to invite anyone in. Jesus lavishly gave to us, so we should lavishly give to others.
Laura Dugger: Jaime, that is incredible. I feel like you've made such an amazing case because the Lord has made such an amazing case for hospitality in Scripture. So even with all of that knowledge, what are some roadblocks that you see for others resisting the call to hospitality?
Jaime Farrell: I think there's several. You know, time, money, attitude, life stage. I want to be honest that I've struggled with all of these at one point or another. [00:09:11] But it feels like we typically will say we don't have enough time or we don't have enough money, or we're introverts, or homebodies, or we have little kids or we're old and we're tired. There's tons of excuses that I have personally thought of and plenty that I've sinfully and sadly used.
I think so often our no's to hospitality, at least for me, are because our expectations are wrong. We may wrongly think that we need to have hours in order to practice hospitality or we have to have gobs of money in order to practice hospitality. We may think we need to actually entertain rather than be hospitable. Or we just may feel inadequate and that others will step in and take it on for us.
But practicing hospitality is so broad and us keeping it to certain boundaries just really can stifle it. It really can be practiced over McDonald's coffee or peanut butter and jelly or no food at all. It can happen in an untidy house or at the neighborhood pool or even a plastic pool in the backyard. [00:10:11] It can be inviting another family to sled with you. That's a freebies activity. Whenever we invite someone into our life for the good of their body and soul. We're practicing hospitality.
I listened to a podcast on hospitality recently, and one of the hosts had said, Focus on people, not the formula. And I think that's so true. If we focus on the who, not the how or the what, we will feel the freedom to practice hospitality.
Another just more practical thought in that would be to look to say yes. So if you're struggling to practice hospitality, look for ways that you can say yes. And in this context, this might seem not quite right at all. But as my mom was talking to me about enjoying intimacy with my husband as a newlywed, she had challenged me to, instead of saying a flat-out no to his advances, to consider just changing my language and saying, "I'm not in the mood right now, but I'm willing to have you try to get me there." [00:11:10]
And I would just challenge those who are resistant to hospitality to instead of considering saying a hard no, just saying to yourself, it may be uncomfortable, I may not choose it, I may feel inadequate, but I'm willing to offer the Lord what I have and I'll see what you do, Lord. So instead of giving just a flat-out no, why don't you just see what God could do?
Laura Dugger: I love that. And just a simple prayer to Him. Like it's a no in my mind right now but can you help convince me otherwise? So, Jaime, what is your personal process for making hosting a reality?
Jaime Farrell: So, again, I think hospitality can be done in many forms, and I just want to make that really clear and address that a little bit. I don't think hospitality is hosting just in your home. I think hospitality is sitting by someone new at church. I think it's meeting someone at the doors of the church if you invite them. It's waving to neighbors and saying hello as you pass. It's inviting someone out for coffee or breakfast. It's asking someone to go to the store with you, it's bringing someone a meal, sending a card. [00:12:15]
At our church, we have a food providers list. These are people who bring someone a meal when they've had a baby or providing food for the funeral or are willing to take food if people are sick. I'm part of that. For example, last week I made a whole bunch of vegetable soup and had noticed that a food provider's email had come through about a church family member but it was for the following week. And I didn't have time the following week, but I had tons of this leftover vegetable soup. So I just texted that family and said, "Can I just bring you some for tomorrow?" So I think that's even hospitality again through these food providers.
An email came through this week about another family who had a new baby. And a couple of weeks ago, an email had come about another family who had a new baby. So I just doubled up and asked that family. So next week I'm going to bring both those families one meal on the same day and kind of knock two birds with one stone.
So again, I think we can practice hospitality in lots of different ways other than just hosting. Actually, I think one of the great ways to practice hospitality is even being needy and asking for help. [00:13:18] We've used the strategy with our neighbors. We ask for help from others whether we can borrow something or if they have just time to help us talk through our landscaping or what they would recommend us do outside.
This all can just start a conversation and pave the way for some real hospitality, for some other hospitality, I should say, hosting in your home. So remember hospitality is really just that friendly, generous, receiving, and enjoying of people, and that just can take so many forms.
So there's ways that we practice hosting in our home. We often have people over for dinner and games. And that can be people from church or from the kids' school or from their sports team. We love playing games with friends, so that's typically part of our evening.
We have couples for premarital counseling, and those sessions always include games and dinner in our home before the counseling. When we have new people from church, we often like to have another family from church with them so that they can get connected to others in our body beyond us. [00:14:21]
So we've hosted Bunco parties in our home. We've hosted hot cocoa bars. We watched sports games, parties. We've done neighbor nights in the backyard for those in our neighborhood. We love being outside. So anytime we can be outside in the backyard. We are at a home where we have a firepit right now. So we use that a ton. We've accumulated a ton of backyard games. Ladder golf, Kan Jam, bocce ball, Spikeball, Bottle Bash and volleyball.
I honestly hate even listing those if I'm honest though, because they are truly just things. And it's not necessary to hosting by any means. But I would just encourage you to... what do you love and how could you share that with people? That is what we have tried to do. We again, as you've heard, love games and so we try to just share that with people. We love food. I love food. So we try to share that with people.
And then if some of those feel barriers because they're expensive or whatever, consider asking those for Christmas gifts or birthday gifts, and that can help up your hospitality game. [00:15:23] Whenever there's like a need for a whole heap of paper plates, you could ask for that for Christmas. Just, Mom, can you give me a whole heap of paper products so that I can host people or a new board game that would work for a crowd of people? You can ask for that for Christmas.
You can get a lot of things that would help with hospitality that don't even include spending a dime or spending very little money. We've gotten a lot of our backyard games through Facebook Marketplace or Goodwill or second-hand stores. So you can get a lot of things new to you. So we do that a lot.
Some specifics of this season of hospitality is that we're trying to embrace saying yes to the last minute. We have two older, nearly teenagers. Jolie will turn 13 in a couple of months. And with those two teenagers, we're finding the social schedule very full and the taxi driving constant.
So sometimes hospitality is best for us right now when it's last minute. So I would encourage you to think about that and consider that. [00:16:22] I always have paper products on hand and those can be easily gotten from the dollar store. But having paper plates, plastic forks, this makes hosting easy for me.
Years ago, I laid down the expectation that I needed to lavish the way my mom has always lavished. Again, she has that beautiful table, real dishes, she does fabric napkins, and so on. I'll just give you a paper plate. And I can't remember the last time I actually even served the food. My mom likes to go around and serve the food, but we just typically do buffet style as that is kind of my jam.
I also always have stuff in my freezer and some staples on hand. I always keep what I need to whip out a pan of Scotcheroos in a moment because those seem to go over well. Like right now, I've got energy balls, puppy chow, caramels, and popsicles loaded in my freezer so that when my kids' friends come over, they've got stuff to eat.
Our garage fridge is filled with drinks so that when the friends come over, they can have those drinks. And we kind of reserve those drinks for just when we have friends over. [00:17:21] I've always got chicken or pulled pork in the freezer that I quickly pull out to make a meal.
And then just lastly, some practical tips for how this looks for maybe you right now. When we were young and in seminary and the budget was crazy tight... Again, our hospitality looks very different now than when it did those years ago. I never had a second garage fridge. I would never have gotten fancy drinks, nothing like that.
So when we were young and the budget was tight, we made a practice of having people over for breakfast after church because eggs, hash browns, and a couple cans of fruit or fresh fruit, if we could afford it, was good enough. And that felt like awesome hospitality. It was fast and simple, and yet was that hospitality.
And then Jonathan was working at Starbucks, and so we got a free pound of coffee every week. And I don't even drink coffee. So the simple practice of just having people over for coffee because we had these freebies, pound of coffee every week that we never could drink ourselves, that came this just practice of having people for coffee as a way of practicing hospitality too. [00:18:27]
The other thing we did when money was tight was we had what we called our pantry people. And these were three other couples that we felt comfortable enough having over and just saying it's pantry night. So that could mean peanut butter and jelly. That could mean leftovers. That could mean a can of tuna. We all just kind of would contribute whatever we had and then we would just play games together. And our pantry people ended up becoming our dearest friends at seminary.
Then one last suggestion would just be popcorn. Popcorn is inexpensive and I have yet to meet someone who doesn't love it.
Sponsor: And now a brief message from our sponsor. Midwest Food Bank exists to provide industry-leading food relief to those in need while feeding them spiritually. They are a food charity with a desire to demonstrate God's love by providing help to those in need.
Unlike other parts of the world where there's not enough food, in America, the resources actually do exist. That's why food pantries and food banks like Midwest Food Bank are so important. [00:19:29] The goods that they deliver to their agency partners help to supplement the food supply for families and individuals across our country, aiding those whose resources are beyond stretched.
Midwest Food Bank also supports people globally through their locations in Haiti and East Africa, which are some of the areas hardest hit by hunger arising from poverty. This ministry reaches millions of people every year, and thanks to the Lord's provision, 99% of every donation goes directly toward providing food to people in need. The remaining 1% of income is used for fundraising, costs of leadership, oversight, and other administrative expenses. Donations, volunteers, and prayers are always appreciated for Midwest Food Bank.
To learn more, visit midwestfoodbank.org or listen to Episode 83 of The Savvy Sauce where the founder, David Keyser, shares miracles of God that he's witnessed through this nonprofit organization. [00:20:29] I hope you check them out today.
Laura Dugger: You've given us ways that are super practical to overcome these excuses of restraints on time or finances. But earlier I remember you also mentioned attitude. So do you ever have a stinky attitude about hosting?
Jaime Farrell: Absolutely. And sadly, often. And here I'm even talking about how much I do love hospitality and how much I think it is important. But truly, I often have a stingy attitude about hosting in hospitality. So typically there is inevitably conflict. Before we host people in our home, either a recipe will fail or the kids will be unhelpful or needy, or I will just be downright selfish and demanding.
So often right before we're about to have people in our home, I am trying to even muster up the desire to do so. So I don't always go into it loving it and thinking, "Wow, I just can't wait for this." Sometimes I'm exhausted and I just want to take off my bra and be in my jammies and not be with people. [00:21:33] But in the end, I'm always glad that they came.
So I remember this was especially true for a small group we were hosting. The routine of hosting every other week felt like such a burden. We had little kids. And in the hours leading up to it, I was always grumpy and just thinking like, "Oh, this is going to be so horrible." But then they would leave and I would always, in bliss, talk with my husband about how life-giving it was to have them over.
So I have to be honest, to overcome this in the moment is hard for me. But without fail, as the nights wrap up and we've hosted, I'm always thankful and filled and grateful for the time. So overcoming sin for me often looks like having to go back and apologize and ask forgiveness for my family and from my Lord for that attitude that I had before we practiced hospitality.
Laura Dugger: It reminds me of something that Mark always says. Like he will say, I've learned you just can never outlive God. [00:22:34] So you offer Him your little loaves and fish. And even if you're coming with the stinky attitude and offering it to Him, He does and He blesses you with the joy. That's awesome to hear. I just love to hear more about your inner thoughts of this process, too. So when you personally host someone, do you have a desire or expectation for them to return the favor?
Jaime Farrell: So I've had super long answers on all your questions before. But this one I can say is short and sweet. Honestly, praise God He's given victory in this area for me. I, back in college, read a book, When People Are Big and God is Small by Edward Welch. Changing my doing from people-pleasing to God-glorifying really was a shift for me. From that shift, I have never looked back. So, no, I do not have that expectation on people because when I'm practicing hospitality, I'm doing it, Lord willing, and with His help for it to be God-glorifying, not people pleasing. [00:23:41]
Laura Dugger: I remember after we had Kessler and you showed up with this feast that was for an army. And it was homemade and so delicious and so generous. And not only that, but I remember you arriving with your kids, delivering trays of food alongside you, and you were beaming your beautiful smile and you said, "It has been such a joy for us to spend this day cooking for you and praying over you as I envision your transition to becoming a family of six."
I was so stunned and obviously emotional to receive love after welcoming our precious newborn to the family. But that really left an impression on me and it was so compelling to make me want to love others well after being so loved by you. I share all of that just to illustrate your generosity. And then I'd love to learn from you, how can all of us begin to grow in generosity, too? [00:24:45]
Jaime Farrell: So I would simply say to grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. I truly think that the more we realize how He has lavished on us, the more we'll want to do the same. 2 Corinthians 8 and 9, are beautiful chapters all about generosity. And they start with the grace of God and they end with the grace of God.
And the very last verse is saying, "Thanks be to God for His indescribable gift." I think if we are understanding the depth of His gifts to us, the way He sent His Son, we will want to pour that out to others in the way that it's been poured into us.
Laura Dugger: I love how you lay that out. And you are just such a natural teacher because it's not like you're saying we're striving to earn His approval or love. It is clearly what you said. It's the opposite. It's fueled by grace. And then it's this overflow or this outpouring that come because of Him. [00:25:48]
But truly, I do think you spent a good amount of money when you brought us the meal. And I know that we're not the only recipients of you meeting people's needs through nourishing them with delicious food. So how do you resist counting the cost involved in hosting others?
Jaime Farrell: So again, going back to the root of it, because Jesus asks us to count the cost of discipleship when He invites us to follow Him, He outweighs every cost there possibly could be. So I would rather follow Him in obedience than count the cost here on earth and disobey. So that is at the root of it.
But then practically, I am a massive fan of Aldi and I am not afraid to get the deals. So find ways to do things inexpensively and remember that hospitality can simply be opening our mouths and saying hello, and that causes zero dollars, or opening your door and inviting someone in, and that costs zero dollars. [00:26:52]
I've already mentioned breakfast is cheap and simply serving a cup of hot water as I love or coffee to someone or even just inviting someone over for dessert rather than a full meal. These are ways that you can be a little bit inexpensive and still practice that hospitality.
Laura Dugger: And when we think of this generational impact, how did your heritage play a part in influencing your current behavior toward hospitality, and how do you see it influencing the next generation that you're raising right now?
Jaime Farrell: So, again, I would point to my mom, who I would say for years modeled hospitality to me. But I also just want to mention my mother-in-law here, who similarly has the gift of hospitality but practices that different than my mom. I've watched my mother-in-law, as example, and I've seen the beauty of it as well. It too has impacted me.
My mother-in-law is a simple, not fancy woman. [00:27:54] She is a frequenter of the dollar store and one who will reuse plastic bags and plastic forks and things like that. She has a small home, and yet she hosts Christmas and Thanksgiving and consistently invites others beyond family into those moments.
And that means that people are often eating on laps in the living room or with the TV tray pulled up. And yet she welcomes all. Drinks aren't nearly as important as food to me. I love to eat and I value good food, but drinks are more important to her. She asks what we want to drink from the first moment we walk in the door and then we'll repeat it several times, almost to an annoying point for me. But truly, it's really just her serving again and again and again. And I've learned from her that simple is beautiful, that service is lavishing. And I've been grateful for her example.
And then, yes, I've got four kids, and we are praying that we see the fruit of hospitality in their lives. [00:28:55] And again, at the root, if we believe hospitality extends from us grasping how much the Lord has been hospitable to us, then we are absolutely wanting to see hospitality in our kids.
Thankfully, they have these grandmas that they can watch, which is awesome. But we see them love to have people over and desire to be gatherers as well. So that just warms our hearts when we see them jump into hospitality too.
Our older two, especially who I would have to say have social lives now as a junior high and high school student, they are gatherers and we just love watching it.
Laura Dugger: Have you checked out our library of articles available at thesavvysauce.com? New posts are added multiple times a month related to parenting, intimacy, and marriage, personal development, habits, and other topics connected to what we discuss here on The Savvy Sauce. If you sign up to join our email list, you're also going to enjoy little extras delivered straight to your inbox. [00:29:55]
Our hope is to encourage you to have your own practical chats for intentional living. So these freebies will include things like questions that you can ask on your next date, safe resources to read, to promote enjoyment in your intimacy and marriage, or questions to ask your kids to connect on a more relational level. We hope you check out all the available reads at thesavvysauce.com under the "articles" tab.
Laura Dugger: Let's get even more specific. How do you actually involve your kids in that process?
Jaime Farrell: So when they were younger and we were really in the training phase of parenting, we did five Ss. Stand, See, Smile, Shake, Say for when people come up to them. Now, not always do these apply in every situation. But we've tried to teach them to be warm to people whenever people are talking to them.
Now, I'll honestly say that I feel like we've been more disciplined about this for our girls and we are still in the training phase for our son. [00:30:59] But teaching kids from a young age how to interact with others is so important. That is absolutely something that needs to be trained. You can't just hope that they learn it.
So we believe it's important to train them in this big picture value of the dignity of people. So we consistently talk with our kids about them being image bearers and about all people being image bearers. And I think that sets in their minds from these little ages that people are important and we should care about them. So intentionally teaching the value of others before ourselves gives a big-picture view of why hospitality is important. And then we can work on the practical parts of how to practice it.
They are also part of the cooking, the cleaning, the bringing, and the praying. We look to have them serve as well. So they help me prepare the house, set the table, and make the food. We just did this on Sunday. We hosted a family and they were coming over at 5:45 and I knew that we could start at 4:30 because I've got my team around me. [00:32:03]
So we're still able to take Sunday afternoon naps because then the team comes into play at 4:30. And they all just knew that we set that expectation and they all helped serve. If we're bringing a meal to someone, I rarely bring it alone. A kid almost always comes with me. And then we are praying for that family as we drive to and from.
For premarital counseling, we have a couple over to our home at least 4 to 5 times pre-marriage, then twice post-marriage, and our kids are always part of that. We have that couple for dinner and then we play games all together as a family and then we send the kids off to bed while we talk. And the olders just know to be responsible for getting the youngsters to bed on those nights.
One other thing that comes to mind is that at this stage we've really tried to just open our schedule to our kids and their friends. We want our house to be a place where kids enjoy coming and that they know they can come. We're always willing to have extras over for dinner, so my kids just know it's okay to invite anyone over. [00:33:04]
We have a policy with our kids that they can invite anyone to church and can say that we will always pick them up and bring them home. At one point, we were picking up five of Julie's friends for Wednesday evenings and bringing them all home. And typically we need both Jonathan and I to drive our kids to and from on Wednesdays so that we can fit all the kids in our car. And while this is helping them with their social time, we actually see it as them practicing hospitality. And we talk in those terms with our kids.
For Halloween this year, we hosted ten of Jorja's friends, eight of Jolie's friends. Jorja's friend stayed at the house all night long. Jolie's friends did some trick or treating still, but I just made a big batch of chili, a whole bunch of puppy chow, we had a caramel apple bar and plenty of hot cocoa, and then we did pumpkin carving contests with the whole entire game. So just being willing to have our home open for friends influences our kids in their learning hospitality.
Laura Dugger: I love the creativity. And it sounds like you can even get input from every family member to see what works for them. [00:34:07]
Jaime Farrell: Definitely.
Laura Dugger: And referring back to what you said, hospitality is opening our mouth, it's opening our car door and inviting people Wednesday nights, which we love Wednesday nights at church. But also, Jaime, how have you seen hospitality impact your family and your church, and even our community?
Jaime Farrell: So I read a book and I would recommend it, The Gospel Comes With A House Key. There are some challenges in that book that make it fully relatable. But again, overall, the content is incredible. I've heard of many testimonies where people have embraced the gospel because of hospitality, and that's what that book is about.
And I think this is what we need to see hospitality as doing—that it's kingdom building. And whether that's building the kingdom with new believers or building the kingdom by strengthening the believers, we need to see the internal perspective of what hospitality can be. Hospitality echoes into eternity, and that's vital to grasp. [00:35:06] So having that perspective, that's how it impacts our family, our church, and our community. That hospitality can be a mode of evangelism and kingdom building.
Laura Dugger: So true. Do you have any favorite memories or little extras that you recommend that you think are worthwhile to share?
Jaime Farrell: Yeah. I couldn't do hospitality without my double oven these days. That was a Christmas gift that I asked for and has been so awesome. So that's a little extra for our house that I've been super grateful for.
I love keeping containers for bringing food to others so that then I don't have to ask for them in return. So, keeping any of those, even, you know, cottage cheese or dip. My grandpa buys a lot of ham in those prepackaged Tupperware, and he will give them to me because he knows I use them to send out to other people for food. So keeping containers like that. [00:36:06]
Getting a list from your church of widowers, widows, single moms who would appreciate leftovers, I think, is such a great way to practice hospitality. We've done this. And just knowing who we can send our leftovers to. As you said, I love to cook for an army and I don't know how to cook for small portions. So being able to give away those extras are always so fun.
We've used neighbor apps to get to know our neighbors. And that's just a thread that you can get or even just even a text thread where you have all your neighbors on one text thread that you can say, "Does anybody have a cup of sugar or would anybody want to come over tonight for popcorn?" That's something else that we've done.
We've also created neighborhood maps where we'll either have their names up there and have specific prayer requests because we've asked them or just mapping out the neighborhoods so that you can think in terms of that God has placed me specifically in this neighborhood and I can practice hospitality with these neighbors around me. [00:37:08] Again, thinking that hospitality could be evangelism as well.
And then Bunco Nights. We have loved doing bunco nights where we can gather a whole heap of people together and play a game and talk together. That is awesome. And I could talk on and on about games that we enjoy as a family. But right now, some favorites are Fill or Bust, Escape, Wits and Wagers Family, Double Ditto, Code Names, and Take 5!. So you can check out any of those and get some games for hospitality.
Laura Dugger: You remind me of something I learned long ago, that ministering actually means meeting the needs of others.
Jaime Farrell: I love that.
Laura Dugger: I mean, we have a need to eat every day. And so we have all these opportunities to minister to others. You know I love practical things. So even for ministering to others by meeting their need for nutrition, what are some of your go-to recipes that we could maybe link to these in our show notes for today? [00:38:11]
Jaime Farrell: I love checking out Brown Eyed Baker and Sally's Baking Addiction. And you see my bent here that I love sweets. But those two websites, any recipe I've tried from there has always been a hit. So I would encourage those.
We're also really big fans of grilling and so that can simply be just hotdogs and brats in the backyard. That's typically our bent on summers. I have a pork roast recipe that is super easy but feels fancy. So when I want to try to be fancy, I pull that one out. I have a Mexican Pulled Pork Taco recipe that we enjoy, that, again, feels a little bit different than tacos, but is in the same vein, inexpensive, easy to throw together, easy for people to kind of pick their own toppings if you have picky eaters.
There's this recipe online—you can totally look it up—Man-Pleasing Chicken. Again, super easy, very doable. We make homemade hot cocoa. And that is something that just... it makes a big batch and we have it for all season long. [00:39:15] And just inviting people in for hot cocoa always seems to be a good thing.
Scotcheroos. Man, you can never fail with a good pan of Scotcheroos. Then there's my go-to recipe for a cake, that, again, is super easy. Hannah's [unintelligible 00:39:29] cake. I always just keep those things on hand. So for Scotcheroos, Hannah's [Husband?] Cake, I just have those and s'mores. We have a fire pit in our backyard right now, so having stuff on hand for s'mores so that it can be quick and easy. I keep popcorn in my freezer so that I can pull it out at any time.
And then with teenagers, I'm finding that if I go to Aldi, I just try to grab a bag of chips or a box of Cheez-Its or some type of snack crackers so that when kids are over, I can throw that at them. And a few times throughout the year I'll make a massive batch of snack mixes. I have a tendency to set aside days of, okay, I'm going to make party mix or I'm going to make this honey mix and I'll make a whole, whole heap.
I've already talked about homemade puppy chow for Halloween. [00:40:15] I made probably ten times the recipe and stuck to Tupperware fulls in our freezer so that I can just quickly pull that out. So that's what we have a tendency to do.
Laura Dugger: And even mentioning your s'mores, it reminded me you upped our s'mores game when you came over one night because you put a Reese's in these-
Jaime Farrell: Reese's in s'mores is so, so good. So good.
Laura Dugger: S'mores have never been the same in my house. So thank you for that. Is there just one step that we can take today if we want to begin practicing hospitality in our own lives?
Jaime Farrell: Pray. Ask the Lord where He would have you practice hospitality. That is always the best place to start. That may be in your church. That may be in your neighborhood. That may be in your home. But I really believe that the spirit will guide and direct you in hospitality if it's a desire of your heart. So just asking Him where He wants you to practice hospitality. [00:41:15] And then being willing to say yes. Again, going back instead of your first thought being, No, I can't do that, allow yourself to consider a yes. The spirit will show you and He will equip you.
Laura Dugger: Such a good word. Jaime, like I said, you are a natural teacher. I think God has clearly given you teaching as one of your spiritual gifts. So if we want to learn more from you, where can we find you? Is there any place that you would direct us, even online, to go?
Jaime Farrell: So I'm not the best for social media. You know, I'm not on it tons. But I do have a profile on Facebook, JonathanandJaimeFarrell, or Instagram, [unintelligible 00:41:52]. And anyone is welcome to reach out there if you want.
And then if people are local, we live in Morton, Illinois. We'd love to invite you to our church and my family would love to meet you at the door and sit with you. So if you reach out on Facebook or Instagram, we'd love to meet you at the door. Service is 9 a.m. and Sunday School is 10:30. So then also, if you're local, you can check our church out on gracemorton.org. [00:42:16]
Laura Dugger: Wonderful. We're going to add all kinds of links in today's show notes, not only for the recipes, but also where people could find or follow you. Jaime, you know that we're called The Savvy Sauce because savvy is synonymous with practical knowledge or discernment. So as my final question for you today, what is your savvy source?
Jaime Farrell: So my savvy sauce is what my dad said to me and my siblings every time we walked out the door. Remember who you are and whose you are. I believe this relates to everything in life and godliness. But even in hospitality, if we remember who we are, that we are image bearers made to reflect our God and demonstrate the gospel and therefore are called to practice hospitality. And if we remember whose we are, that He alone is our audience, and that He has equipped us, we can do this thing called hospitality. So I remember who you are and whose you are.
Laura Dugger: We love it. Not only has this time been such a gift, but your friendship is such a gift. [00:43:18] I am sharpened every time we're together and your joy in the Lord just exudes and overflows. So thank you for modeling this. We have been recipients so many times of your generous hospitality, and it's so inspirational and it's contagious and it spreads and encourages others. So thank you for being my friend and thank you for being my guest today.
Jaime Farrell: Same. Such a joy. I love you.
Laura Dugger: I love you, too.
One more thing before you go. Have you heard the term "gospel" before? It simply means good news. And I want to share the best news with you. But it starts with the bad news. Every single one of us were born sinners and God is perfect and holy, so He cannot be in the presence of sin. Therefore, we're separated from Him.
This means there's absolutely no chance we can make it to heaven on our own. So for you and for me, it means we deserve death and we can never pay back the sacrifice we owe to be saved. We need a savior. [00:44:19] But God loved us so much, He made a way for His only son to willingly die in our place as the perfect substitute.
This gives us hope of life forever in right relationship with Him. That is good news. Jesus lived the perfect life we could never live and died in our place for our sin. This was God's plan to make a way to reconcile with us so that God can look at us and see Jesus.
We can be covered and justified through the work Jesus finished if we choose to receive what He has done for us. Romans 10:9 says that if you confess with your mouth Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead, you will be saved.
So would you pray with me now? Heavenly, Father, thank You for sending Jesus to take our place. I pray someone today right now is touched and chooses to turn their life over to You. [00:45:19] Will You clearly guide them and help them take their next step in faith to declare You as Lord of their life? We trust You to work and change their lives now for eternity. In Jesus name, we pray, amen.
If you prayed that prayer, you are declaring Him for me, so me for Him, you get the opportunity to live your life for Him.
At this podcast, we are called Savvy for a reason. We want to give you practical tools to implement the knowledge you have learned. So you're ready to get started?
First, tell someone. Say it out loud. Get a Bible. The first day I made this decision my parents took me to Barnes and Noble to get the Quest NIV Bible and I love it. Start by reading the book of John.
Get connected locally, which basically means just tell someone who is part of the church in your community that you made a decision to follow Christ. I'm assuming they will be thrilled to talk with you about further steps such as going to church and getting connected to other believers to encourage you. [00:46:21]
We want to celebrate with you too. So feel free to leave a comment for us if you made a decision for Christ. We also have show notes included where you can read Scripture that describes this process.
Finally, be encouraged. Luke 15:10 says, "In the same way, I tell you, there is rejoicing in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner who repents." The heavens are praising with you for your decision today.
If you've already received this good news, I pray that you have someone else to share it with today. You are loved and I look forward to meeting you here next time.
Monday Apr 04, 2022
Monday Apr 04, 2022
177. Power of Encouragement with Jamila Jackson
1 Thessalonians 5:11 (NIV) "Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing."
Questions and Topics We Discuss:
-
Will you tell us about your small beginnings and advise others how we can progress in our own dream?
-
What has God taught you through your journey with depression and anxiety?
-
Will you give us some practical ways you have learned to hear from the Holy Spirit and recognize His voice?
Jamila Jackson is the Chief Encouragement Officer of loved+blessed, which provides care packages and community to help you encourage yourself and those you love. She spent over 20 years working as a buyer, sourcing manager, designer and creative director for a global creative product agency and some of the world’s most well-known fashion and beauty brands. Her greatest dream was to become a mother, but God had other plans. He helped her overcome the depression and hopelessness that accompanied her infertility when she founded loved+blessed and started using her talents to create boxes of encouragement. Her message is one of hope that will inspire you to celebrate the joys and keep moving forward through the challenges of each day.
Other Episodes Mentioned:
Powerful Purpose of Introverts with Holley Gerth
Uncover Your Purpose with Clarity with Isimemen Aladejobi
Thank You to Our Sponsor: Justin Maust
Connect with The Savvy Sauce on Facebook or Instagram or Our Website
Please help us out by sharing this episode with a friend, leaving a 5-star rating and review, and subscribing to this podcast!
Gospel Scripture: (all NIV)
Romans 3:23 “for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God,”
Romans 3:24 “and are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus.”
Romans 3:25 (a) “God presented him as a sacrifice of atonement, through faith in his blood.”
Hebrews 9:22 (b) “without the shedding of blood there is no forgiveness.”
Romans 5:8 “But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”
Romans 5:11 “Not only is this so, but we also rejoice in God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have now received reconciliation.”
John 3:16 “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.”
Romans 10:9 “That if you confess with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.”
Luke 15:10 says “In the same way, I tell you, there is rejoicing in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner who repents.”
Romans 8:1 “Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus”
Ephesians 1:13–14 “And you also were included in Christ when you heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation. Having believed, you were marked in him with a seal, the promised Holy Spirit, who is a deposit guaranteeing our inheritance until the redemption of those who are God’s possession- to the praise of his glory.”
Ephesians 1:15–23 “For this reason, ever since I heard about your faith in the Lord Jesus and your love for all the saints, I have not stopped giving thanks for you, remembering you in my prayers. I keep asking that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, may give you the spirit of wisdom and revelation, so that you may know him better. I pray also that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints, and his incomparably great power for us who believe. That power is like the working of his mighty strength, which he exerted in Christ when he raised him from the dead and seated him at his right hand in the heavenly realms, far above all rule and authority, power and dominion, and every title that can be given, not only in the present age but also in the one to come. And God placed all things under his feet and appointed him to be head over everything for the church, which is his body, the fullness of him who fills everything in every way.”
Ephesians 2:8–10 “For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith – and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God – not by works, so that no one can boast. For we are God‘s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.“
Ephesians 2:13 “But now in Christ Jesus you who once were far away have been brought near through the blood of Christ.“
Philippians 1:6 “being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.”
Monday Mar 21, 2022
Monday Mar 21, 2022
*Disclaimer: This episode is not intended for little ears*
176. Help End Human Trafficking with Nita Belles
Isaiah 61:3 NIV "and provide for those who grieve in Zion—to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of joy instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair. They will be called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the Lord for the display of his splendor."
Questions We Discuss:
-
What is human trafficking and how does it work?
-
Is there a certain target age or demographic that makes people more vulnerable to being trafficked?
-
When we are prompted by love, what can the church and community and families and individuals do?
Nita Belles is the Founder and President of IN OUR BACKYARD, a national anti-trafficking nonprofit. Her book, In Our Backyard, Human Trafficking in America and What We Can Do To Stop It, is a best-seller and known as the primer on human trafficking in the U.S.
Nita has been a leader in anti-trafficking work surrounding Super Bowls since 2010. She founded Freedom Stickers which are in all 50 States, and Convenience Stores Against Trafficking, which partners with over 20,000 convenience stores nationwide. Nita collaborates with top law enforcement, government officials, legislators, the medical community, social service providers, faith communities, and survivors as the key to creating comprehensive, lasting change. Her work has been featured on CNN, Fox Files, Focus on the Family, USA Today, BBC and others.
Nita is known for her compassionate heart, as a friend to survivors, a team player and for finding solutions when there is seemingly no solution. She believes laughter is a necessary component in this work yet is driven to compassionately annihilate human trafficking and change the culture which allows this atrocity to flourish. Nita is a force in the movement who specializes in linking arms with other organizations in a collaborative effort to find lasting solutions.
Connect with Nita Belles' Non-Profit, In Our Backyard: Website, Twitter, Instagram @inourbackyard, or through Facebook
At The Savvy Sauce, we will only recommend resources we believe in! We also want you to be aware: We are a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for us to earn fees by linking to Amazon.com and affiliated sites.
In Our Backyard, Human Trafficking in America and What We Can Do To Stop It
Other episode mentioned: Overcoming Evil With Good: Recognizing Spiritual Abuse with Dr. Diane Langberg
Thank You to Our Sponsor: Sam Leman Eureka
Connect with The Savvy Sauce on Facebook or Instagram or Our Website
Please help us out by sharing this episode with a friend, leaving a 5-star rating and review, and subscribing to this podcast!
Gospel Scripture: (all NIV)
Romans 3:23 “for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God,”
Romans 3:24 “and are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus.”
Romans 3:25 (a) “God presented him as a sacrifice of atonement, through faith in his blood.”
Hebrews 9:22 (b) “without the shedding of blood there is no forgiveness.”
Romans 5:8 “But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”
Romans 5:11 “Not only is this so, but we also rejoice in God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have now received reconciliation.”
John 3:16 “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.”
Romans 10:9 “That if you confess with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.”
Luke 15:10 says “In the same way, I tell you, there is rejoicing in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner who repents.”
Romans 8:1 “Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus”
Ephesians 1:13–14 “And you also were included in Christ when you heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation. Having believed, you were marked in him with a seal, the promised Holy Spirit, who is a deposit guaranteeing our inheritance until the redemption of those who are God’s possession- to the praise of his glory.”
Ephesians 1:15–23 “For this reason, ever since I heard about your faith in the Lord Jesus and your love for all the saints, I have not stopped giving thanks for you, remembering you in my prayers. I keep asking that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, may give you the spirit of wisdom and revelation, so that you may know him better. I pray also that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints, and his incomparably great power for us who believe. That power is like the working of his mighty strength, which he exerted in Christ when he raised him from the dead and seated him at his right hand in the heavenly realms, far above all rule and authority, power and dominion, and every title that can be given, not only in the present age but also in the one to come. And God placed all things under his feet and appointed him to be head over everything for the church, which is his body, the fullness of him who fills everything in every way.”
Ephesians 2:8–10 “For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith – and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God – not by works, so that no one can boast. For we are God‘s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.“
Ephesians 2:13 “But now in Christ Jesus you who once were far away have been brought near through the blood of Christ.“
Philippians 1:6 “being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.”
Monday Mar 14, 2022
Monday Mar 14, 2022
175. Practicing Sabbath with Shireen Eldridge
“Let us, therefore, make every effort to enter that rest,” Hebrews 4:11a (NIV)
Questions We Discuss:
-
Will you both define Sabbath and also give the biblical background for it?
-
What sets us up for frustration especially as moms when we think of Sabbath?
-
What conversations can we begin to have with our family to prepare for this day of rest, worship, and delight?
Shireen Eldridge is the Associate Women’s Pastor at Lifegate Church in Omaha NE. She is a mom of 4 school-age kids and married to the Associate Lead Pastor whom she has ministered alongside with since they were married 17yrs ago. She loves sharing about living life in Jesus whether by teaching to many or a one-on-one chat over tea!
Connect with Shireen on Facebook or Instagram.
Thank You to Our Sponsor: Leman Property Management Company
Connect with The Savvy Sauce on Facebook or Instagram or Our Website
Gospel Scripture: (all NIV)
Romans 3:23 “for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God,”
Romans 3:24 “and are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus.”
Romans 3:25 (a) “God presented him as a sacrifice of atonement, through faith in his blood.”
Hebrews 9:22 (b) “without the shedding of blood there is no forgiveness.”
Romans 5:8 “But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”
Romans 5:11 “Not only is this so, but we also rejoice in God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have now received reconciliation.”
John 3:16 “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.”
Romans 10:9 “That if you confess with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.”
Luke 15:10 says “In the same way, I tell you, there is rejoicing in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner who repents.”
Romans 8:1 “Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus”
Ephesians 1:13–14 “And you also were included in Christ when you heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation. Having believed, you were marked in him with a seal, the promised Holy Spirit, who is a deposit guaranteeing our inheritance until the redemption of those who are God’s possession- to the praise of his glory.”
Ephesians 1:15–23 “For this reason, ever since I heard about your faith in the Lord Jesus and your love for all the saints, I have not stopped giving thanks for you, remembering you in my prayers. I keep asking that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, may give you the spirit of wisdom and revelation, so that you may know him better. I pray also that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints, and his incomparably great power for us who believe. That power is like the working of his mighty strength, which he exerted in Christ when he raised him from the dead and seated him at his right hand in the heavenly realms, far above all rule and authority, power and dominion, and every title that can be given, not only in the present age but also in the one to come. And God placed all things under his feet and appointed him to be head over everything for the church, which is his body, the fullness of him who fills everything in every way.”
Ephesians 2:8–10 “For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith – and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God – not by works, so that no one can boast. For we are God‘s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.“
Ephesians 2:13 “But now in Christ Jesus you who once were far away have been brought near through the blood of Christ.“
Philippians 1:6 “being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.”
Monday Mar 07, 2022
Monday Mar 07, 2022
174. Stories of God's Upside Down Economy with Kristen Welch
"In everything I did, I showed you that by this kind of hard work we must help the weak, remembering the words the Lord Jesus himself said: ‘It is more blessed to give than to receive.’ ” Acts 20:35
Questions We Discuss:
-
Will you share your story of life being flipped upside down in the best kind of way?
-
Will you share how God redeemed parts of your past to prepare you for exciting new endeavors with Him?
-
What fruit has been produced from focusing on generosity in your family?
Kristen Welch is an author, podcaster, and founder of Mercy House and Fair Trade Friday. In 2010, a very unexpected yes changed her life, her family and their future forever.
At The Savvy Sauce, we will only recommend resources we believe in! We also want you to be aware: We are a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for us to earn fees by linking to Amazon.com and affiliated sites.
Raising Grateful Kids in an Entitled World
Raising World Changers in a Changing World
Thank You to Our Sponsor: Justin Maust
Connect with The Savvy Sauce on Facebook or Instagram or Our Website
Gospel Scripture: (all NIV)
Romans 3:23 “for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God,”
Romans 3:24 “and are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus.”
Romans 3:25 (a) “God presented him as a sacrifice of atonement, through faith in his blood.”
Hebrews 9:22 (b) “without the shedding of blood there is no forgiveness.”
Romans 5:8 “But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”
Romans 5:11 “Not only is this so, but we also rejoice in God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have now received reconciliation.”
John 3:16 “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.”
Romans 10:9 “That if you confess with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.”
Luke 15:10 says “In the same way, I tell you, there is rejoicing in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner who repents.”
Romans 8:1 “Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus”
Ephesians 1:13–14 “And you also were included in Christ when you heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation. Having believed, you were marked in him with a seal, the promised Holy Spirit, who is a deposit guaranteeing our inheritance until the redemption of those who are God’s possession- to the praise of his glory.”
Ephesians 1:15–23 “For this reason, ever since I heard about your faith in the Lord Jesus and your love for all the saints, I have not stopped giving thanks for you, remembering you in my prayers. I keep asking that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, may give you the spirit of wisdom and revelation, so that you may know him better. I pray also that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints, and his incomparably great power for us who believe. That power is like the working of his mighty strength, which he exerted in Christ when he raised him from the dead and seated him at his right hand in the heavenly realms, far above all rule and authority, power and dominion, and every title that can be given, not only in the present age but also in the one to come. And God placed all things under his feet and appointed him to be head over everything for the church, which is his body, the fullness of him who fills everything in every way.”
Ephesians 2:8–10 “For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith – and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God – not by works, so that no one can boast. For we are God‘s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.“
Ephesians 2:13 “But now in Christ Jesus you who once were far away have been brought near through the blood of Christ.“
Philippians 1:6 “being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.”
Monday Feb 21, 2022
Monday Feb 21, 2022
173. Life is Better with the Holy Spirit with Jeannie Cunnion
"Where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom" 2 Corinthians 3:17
Jeannie Cunnion is an author who is well known for writing stories that make much of the wild love of Jesus because of how her life has been rescued by it. She is also a beloved Bible teacher and sought-after speaker who has been featured on outlets such as the TODAY show, Fox News, The 700 Club, and Focus on the Family. Jeannie, who holds a master’s degree in social work, worked as a counselor and trainer in the adoption field before writing. She is a wife to Mike and a mama to five boys she is crazy about. To know Jeannie is to know her deep love for Danita’s Children’s Home in Haiti. Connect with her online at JeannieCunnion.com, on Instagram, or Facebook.
Questions We Discuss:
-
What are some benefits of the Holy Spirit's daily presence?
-
How can we recognize if we are really relying on the power of God’s Spirit inside us or trying to do life in our own strength?
-
Will you share about a time you confused the Holy Spirit's protection as punishment?
At The Savvy Sauce, we will only recommend resources we believe in! We also want you to be aware: We are a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for us to earn fees by linking to Amazon.com and affiliated sites.
Thank You to Our Sponsor: Justin Maust
Connect with The Savvy Sauce on Facebook or Instagram or Our Website
Please help us out by sharing this episode with a friend, leaving a 5-star rating and review, and subscribing to this podcast!
Gospel Scripture: (all NIV)
Romans 3:23 “for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God,”
Romans 3:24 “and are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus.”
Romans 3:25 (a) “God presented him as a sacrifice of atonement, through faith in his blood.”
Hebrews 9:22 (b) “without the shedding of blood there is no forgiveness.”
Romans 5:8 “But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”
Romans 5:11 “Not only is this so, but we also rejoice in God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have now received reconciliation.”
John 3:16 “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.”
Romans 10:9 “That if you confess with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.”
Luke 15:10 says “In the same way, I tell you, there is rejoicing in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner who repents.”
Romans 8:1 “Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus”
Ephesians 1:13–14 “And you also were included in Christ when you heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation. Having believed, you were marked in him with a seal, the promised Holy Spirit, who is a deposit guaranteeing our inheritance until the redemption of those who are God’s possession- to the praise of his glory.”
Ephesians 1:15–23 “For this reason, ever since I heard about your faith in the Lord Jesus and your love for all the saints, I have not stopped giving thanks for you, remembering you in my prayers. I keep asking that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, may give you the spirit of wisdom and revelation, so that you may know him better. I pray also that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints, and his incomparably great power for us who believe. That power is like the working of his mighty strength, which he exerted in Christ when he raised him from the dead and seated him at his right hand in the heavenly realms, far above all rule and authority, power and dominion, and every title that can be given, not only in the present age but also in the one to come. And God placed all things under his feet and appointed him to be head over everything for the church, which is his body, the fullness of him who fills everything in every way.”
Ephesians 2:8–10 “For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith – and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God – not by works, so that no one can boast. For we are God‘s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.“
Ephesians 2:13 “But now in Christ Jesus you who once were far away have been brought near through the blood of Christ.“
Philippians 1:6 “being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.”
Monday Feb 14, 2022
Monday Feb 14, 2022
172. Intentional Marriage and Parenting with Drew and Sara Anthony
Psalm 16:11 (NIV) "You make known to me the path of life; you will fill me with joy in your presence, with eternal pleasures at your right hand."
Drew and Sara Anthony will celebrate 28 years of marriage this year. They have 4 children ranging in age from 16-24. In addition, they run a house flipping business together. Drew and Sara recently discovered a passion for sailing. They combined their love for sailing and heart for helping strengthen marriages by leading marriage sailing adventures. They’ve seen God at work throughout their whole marriage and for that they are so grateful.
Questions and Topics We Discuss:
-
Were there any traditions or habits you established as an engaged or newlywed couple that set you up for success?
-
As you reflect back, what are some things you did during the season of raising little children that you now see the payoff as they are becoming adults?
-
How have you kept the romance alive through all these stages of marriage?
Sara's Blog Post on Her Goal Group
Marriage Themed Podcast Episodes on The Savvy Sauce:
A God-Honoring Relationship Between a Mother-in-Law and Daughter-in-Law with Annie Chapman
Fostering a Fun, Healthy Sex Life with your Spouse with Dr. Jennifer Konzen
Ways to Deepen Your Intimacy in Marriage with Dr. Douglas Rosenau
Ten Common Questions About Sex, Shared Through a Biblical Worldview with Dr. Michael Sytsma
Easy Changes to Enhance Your Sexual Intimacy in Marriage with Dr. Clifford and Joyce Penner
Hope For Treating Pelvic Pain with Tracey LeGrand
How to Align Your Finances with Your Values with Natalie Taylor
Managing Family, Career, and Health with Leslie Neslage
Reflecting Jesus in Our Relationships with Rach Kincaid
Treatment for Sexual Issues with Certified Sex Therapist, Emma Schmidt
Talking With Your Kids About Sex with Brian and Alison Sutter
Gender Differences and Common Conflict in Relationships with Certified Sex Therapist, Vickie George
Practical Steps for Discipling Our Children with Licensed Professional Counselor, Jen Rathmell
Natural Aphrodisiacs with Christian Certified Sex Therapist, Dr. Douglas Rosenau
Practical Parenting Tools with Author and Speaker, Sue Heimer
Understanding and Utilizing the Enneagram in Your Life with Enneagram Coach, Beth McCord
Deep Dive into the Enneagram with Your Enneagram Coach, Beth McCord
Pain and Joy in Sexual Intimacy with Psychologist and Certified Sex Therapist, Dr. Jessica McCleese
Understanding Gender Differences in Marriage with Dr. Ted and Ang Bryant
Marriage and Motherhood with Counselor, Wife, and Mother to 5, Aja Duncan
Practical Life Tips with Blogger, Rach Kincaid
Marital Communication and Intentional Family Life with Author, Speaker, and Podcaster, Susan Seay
Simple Solutions to Help You Prepare For, Enrich, or Save Your Marriage with Dr. Matthew Turvey
Thriving at Work, Home, and Life with Author, Blogger, Podcaster, and Business Owner, Crystal Paine
Radical Business and Radical Parenting with Gary & Marla Ringger, Founders of Lifesong for Orphans
Hormones and Body Image with Certified Sex Therapist, Vickie George
Traveling with Your Family with Katie Mueller
Ordering Your Priorities with Kat Lee
5 Love Languages with Dr. Gary Chapman
Four Personality Types with Dale Wilsher
Visionary Parenting and Grand-Parenting with Dr. Rob Rienow
Applying Business Strategies to Your Home Management with Susan Seay
Passion Pursuit with Dr. Juli Slattery
Technology and Parenting with Arlene Pellicane
The Enneagram Explained with Sarajane Case of Enneagram & Coffee
Understanding Men and Women Better with Shaunti Feldhahn
Female Orgasm with Sue Goldstein
Erectile Dysfunction, Premature Ejaculation, and Treatments Available with Dr. Irwin Goldstein
Understanding and Delighting in Our Differences with Bill & Pam Farrel
Guiding Our Children Through Their Emotions with Julie Roth
Thriving with Kids at Home During Quarantine with Amanda Leman
Turn Ons, Turn Offs, and Savoring Sex in Marriage with Dr. Jennifer Konzen
Making Family Memories with Jessica Smartt
Desire Discrepancy in Marriage with Dr. Michael Sytsma
Ways to Enjoy Summer with Your Family with Krista Gilbert
Answering Listener's Questions About Sex with Kelli Willard
Communication and Healthy Conflict Resolution with Kelley Gray
Anatomy of an Affair with Dave Carder
Powerful Purpose of Introverts with Holley Gerth
Building Love Together in Blended Families with Ron Deal
Supernatural Restoration Story with Bob and Audrey Meisner
Living Intentionally with Shunta Grant
Romantic Love in Marriage with Dr. Willard Harvey
Parenting All Temperaments with Jenny Boyett
Healthy Minds, Marriages, and Sex Lives with Drs. Scott and Melissa Symington
Female Pornography Addiction and Meaningful Recovery with Crystal Renaud Day
Rhythms of Renewal with Gabe and Rebekah Lyons
Parenting 0-18 with Daniel Huerta
Building Lasting Relationships with Clarence and Brenda Shuler
Healthy Ways for Females to Increase Sexual Enjoyment with Tracey LeGrand
Pornography Healing for Spouses with Geremy Keeton
Sexual Sin Recovery for You and Your Spouse (Part Two)
Our Brain’s Role in Sexual Intimacy with Angie Landry
Intentional Questions to Ask Our Kids with Susan Seay
Biblical Response to Emotionally Destructive Relationships with Leslie Vernick
Connection and Correction in Parenting with Chad Hayenga
Temperaments and Power of Words in Parenting with Kathleen Edelman
Discovering God's Design for Romance with Sharon Jaynes
Nine Ways to Connect with God with Gary Thomas
Sex in Marriage and Its Positive Effects with Francie Winslow, Part 1
Science and Art of Sexual Intimacy in Marriage, Part 2
Making Love in Marriage with Debra Fileta
Beneficial Rhythms in Marriage with Chris and Jenni Graebe
Inspiring Perspective in Parenting with Kay Wyma
Mutually Pleasing Sex in Marriage with Gary Thomas
Patreon-Only Marriage Related Episodes:
Patreon 7 Intentional Family Life with Podcasters, Heather Toews and Heidi Bolt
Patreon 9 Healthy Relationships with Our Friends and Our Spouse with Author and Speaker, Sue Heimer
Patreon 16 Enjoy a Thriving Marriage with Dr. Matthew Turvey
Patreon 19 Applying Personality Training to Parenting with Dale Wilsher
Patreon 20 Personal Stories of God's Provision with Hope Ware
Patreon 21 Leading in Parenting with Arlene Pellicane
Patreon 22 Vision in Motherhood while Parenting a Child with Special Needs
Patreon 23 Her Desires and His Desires in the Bedroom with Dr. Jennifer Konzen
Patreon 26 Holy Sex with Dr. Juli Slattery
Patreon 28 Protecting Your Marriage Against Unfaithfulness with Dave Carder
Patreon 29 Remaining Sexually Engaged Through The Years with Dr. Michael Sytsma
Patreon 34 Lead with Questions in Parenting with Stacy Bellward
Marriage Related Articles:
10 Recommendations for Enjoying Sex More in Marriage
Fun Daily and Weekly Marital Enrichment Habits
Fun Monthly and Yearly Marital Enrichment Habits
How Do You Know It’s Worthwhile?
Marriage Scripture I am Loving
Marriage: Foundational Questions to Promote Connection
How Does Your Family of Origin Affect Your Marriage?
How is Self-Awareness Beneficial in Marriage?
Most Helpful Gender Difference to Understand
One Enjoyable Way to Serve Together in Marriage
Practical Ways to Rekindle Love in Marriage
Healthy Communication in Marriage
Marriage: Growing in Conflict Resolution Skills
Ten Financial Questions to Ask Your Spouse
Wise and Practical Marriage Tips
Our Wise and Foolish List in Marriage *Bonus Content When You Join Our Email List*
At The Savvy Sauce, we will only recommend resources we believe in! We also want you to be aware: We are a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for us to earn fees by linking to Amazon.com and affiliated sites.
Thank You to Our Sponsor: WinShape Marriage
Connect with The Savvy Sauce on Facebook or Instagram or Our Website
Please help us out by sharing this episode with a friend, leaving a 5-star rating and review, and subscribing to this podcast!
Gospel Scripture: (all NIV)
Romans 3:23 “for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God,”
Romans 3:24 “and are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus.”
Romans 3:25 (a) “God presented him as a sacrifice of atonement, through faith in his blood.”
Hebrews 9:22 (b) “without the shedding of blood there is no forgiveness.”
Romans 5:8 “But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”
Romans 5:11 “Not only is this so, but we also rejoice in God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have now received reconciliation.”
John 3:16 “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.”
Romans 10:9 “That if you confess with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.”
Luke 15:10 says “In the same way, I tell you, there is rejoicing in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner who repents.”
Romans 8:1 “Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus”
Ephesians 1:13–14 “And you also were included in Christ when you heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation. Having believed, you were marked in him with a seal, the promised Holy Spirit, who is a deposit guaranteeing our inheritance until the redemption of those who are God’s possession- to the praise of his glory.”
Ephesians 1:15–23 “For this reason, ever since I heard about your faith in the Lord Jesus and your love for all the saints, I have not stopped giving thanks for you, remembering you in my prayers. I keep asking that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, may give you the spirit of wisdom and revelation, so that you may know him better. I pray also that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints, and his incomparably great power for us who believe. That power is like the working of his mighty strength, which he exerted in Christ when he raised him from the dead and seated him at his right hand in the heavenly realms, far above all rule and authority, power and dominion, and every title that can be given, not only in the present age but also in the one to come. And God placed all things under his feet and appointed him to be head over everything for the church, which is his body, the fullness of him who fills everything in every way.”
Ephesians 2:8–10 “For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith – and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God – not by works, so that no one can boast. For we are God‘s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.“
Ephesians 2:13 “But now in Christ Jesus you who once were far away have been brought near through the blood of Christ.“
Philippians 1:6 “being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.”
Monday Feb 07, 2022
Monday Feb 07, 2022
171. Tiny Habits for Enormous Change with Juni Felix
"And we all, with unveiled face, beholding the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from one degree of glory to another. For this comes from the Lord who is the Spirit." 2 Corinthians 3:18 (ESV)
Questions We Discuss:
-
Will you elaborate on your childhood and your journey through trauma and recovery?
-
What are tiny habits and why are they so powerful?
-
Will you now explain the systematic formula for human behavior that you refer to from Dr. B. J. Fogg?
Juni Felix is a member of New York Times–bestselling author Dr. B. J. Fogg’s Stanford Behavior Design Lab Teaching Team, a C. S. Lewis Institute Fellow, a speaker, and a podcast and radio host. As a Tiny Habits® coach who has long used the method to help others transform lives and relationships with God, Juni has gone on to be a leader in the church, and through her speaking, broadcasting, and podcasting ministries, an encourager to people around the world.
Highly awarded for volunteer and community service, she’s a technologist specializing in Behavior Design, assisting innovators from varied industries in the creation of collaborative teams and community-minded products, systems, and services to make the world a better place. As a presenting author at the thirteenth annual Persuasive Technology Conference, she shared ideas for caring for, feeling, and understanding cities of the future.
She loves to travel the world collecting stores of hope—and also hiking and playing hours of video games. Her family motto is “Always pray, always play, and never give up!” You can follow her ongoing global adventures at JuniFelix.com.
At The Savvy Sauce, we will only recommend resources we believe in! We also want you to be aware: We are a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for us to earn fees by linking to Amazon.com and affiliated sites.
Forgiving What You Can't Forget
Thank You to Our Sponsor: Sam Leman Eureka
Connect with The Savvy Sauce on Facebook or Instagram or Our Website
Please help us out by sharing this episode with a friend, leaving a 5-star rating and review, and subscribing to this podcast!
Gospel Scripture: (all NIV)
Romans 3:23 “for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God,”
Romans 3:24 “and are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus.”
Romans 3:25 (a) “God presented him as a sacrifice of atonement, through faith in his blood.”
Hebrews 9:22 (b) “without the shedding of blood there is no forgiveness.”
Romans 5:8 “But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”
Romans 5:11 “Not only is this so, but we also rejoice in God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have now received reconciliation.”
John 3:16 “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.”
Romans 10:9 “That if you confess with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.”
Luke 15:10 says “In the same way, I tell you, there is rejoicing in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner who repents.”
Romans 8:1 “Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus”
Ephesians 1:13–14 “And you also were included in Christ when you heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation. Having believed, you were marked in him with a seal, the promised Holy Spirit, who is a deposit guaranteeing our inheritance until the redemption of those who are God’s possession- to the praise of his glory.”
Ephesians 1:15–23 “For this reason, ever since I heard about your faith in the Lord Jesus and your love for all the saints, I have not stopped giving thanks for you, remembering you in my prayers. I keep asking that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, may give you the spirit of wisdom and revelation, so that you may know him better. I pray also that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints, and his incomparably great power for us who believe. That power is like the working of his mighty strength, which he exerted in Christ when he raised him from the dead and seated him at his right hand in the heavenly realms, far above all rule and authority, power and dominion, and every title that can be given, not only in the present age but also in the one to come. And God placed all things under his feet and appointed him to be head over everything for the church, which is his body, the fullness of him who fills everything in every way.”
Ephesians 2:8–10 “For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith – and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God – not by works, so that no one can boast. For we are God‘s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.“
Ephesians 2:13 “But now in Christ Jesus you who once were far away have been brought near through the blood of Christ.“
Philippians 1:6 “being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.”
Monday Jan 24, 2022
Monday Jan 24, 2022
170. Mastering Technology so it Does Not Master You with Dr. Sylvia Hart Frejd
**Transcription Below**
Matthew 6:22 (NIV) "The eye is the lamp of the body. If your eyes are healthy, your whole body will be full of light."
Questions and Topics We Discuss:
-
When you look at brain science research, what have you learned about how technology rewires our brains?
-
What is most helpful in restoring and repairing our brains and our relationships?
-
As it relates to the future, where do you think technology is headed and what should be on our radar?
Dr. Sylvia Hart Frejd is the Director of the Flourish Center for Wellbeing in Knoxville, TN, and as the Founder and President of Flourish Wellbeing University. She has a Master's Degree specializing in Christian Counseling, and a Doctorate in Leadership. She is also an ICF (PCC) Professional Certified Coach, a National Board Certified Health and Wellness Coach, and ICF Mentor Coach. She is the co-author with her father Dr. Archibald Hart of "The Digital Invasion: How Technology is Shaping You and Your Relationships". She lives with her husband of 37 years in beautiful Knoxville, TN we they one daughter, two sons, one son-in-law, one daughter-in-law, two beautiful grand daughters and an adorable grand-son. She is passionate about coaching people to flourish and thrive in their: Spiritual Emotional, Mental, Physical, Relational, and Vocational wellbeing. Sylvia is most restored and experiences God when she is close to water, walks in nature, creates beauty and has deep coaching conversations.
Flourish Center for Well-Being
Email Dr. Frejd at DrSylvia@FlourishCenterforWellbeing.com
At The Savvy Sauce, we will only recommend resources we believe in! We also want you to be aware: We are a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for us to earn fees by linking to Amazon.com and affiliated sites.
The Digital Invasion by Dr. Sylvia Hart Frejd
Thrilled to Death by Dr. Archibald Hart
Thank You to Our Sponsor: Leman Property Management Company
Connect with The Savvy Sauce on Facebook or Instagram or Our Website
Please help us out by sharing this episode with a friend, leaving a 5-star rating and review, and subscribing to this podcast!
Gospel Scripture: (all NIV)
Romans 3:23 “for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God,”
Romans 3:24 “and are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus.”
Romans 3:25 (a) “God presented him as a sacrifice of atonement, through faith in his blood.”
Hebrews 9:22 (b) “without the shedding of blood there is no forgiveness.”
Romans 5:8 “But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”
Romans 5:11 “Not only is this so, but we also rejoice in God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have now received reconciliation.”
John 3:16 “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.”
Romans 10:9 “That if you confess with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.”
Luke 15:10 says “In the same way, I tell you, there is rejoicing in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner who repents.”
Romans 8:1 “Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus”
Ephesians 1:13–14 “And you also were included in Christ when you heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation. Having believed, you were marked in him with a seal, the promised Holy Spirit, who is a deposit guaranteeing our inheritance until the redemption of those who are God’s possession- to the praise of his glory.”
Ephesians 1:15–23 “For this reason, ever since I heard about your faith in the Lord Jesus and your love for all the saints, I have not stopped giving thanks for you, remembering you in my prayers. I keep asking that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, may give you the spirit of wisdom and revelation, so that you may know him better. I pray also that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints, and his incomparably great power for us who believe. That power is like the working of his mighty strength, which he exerted in Christ when he raised him from the dead and seated him at his right hand in the heavenly realms, far above all rule and authority, power and dominion, and every title that can be given, not only in the present age but also in the one to come. And God placed all things under his feet and appointed him to be head over everything for the church, which is his body, the fullness of him who fills everything in every way.”
Ephesians 2:8–10 “For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith – and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God – not by works, so that no one can boast. For we are God‘s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.“
Ephesians 2:13 “But now in Christ Jesus you who once were far away have been brought near through the blood of Christ.“
Philippians 1:6 “being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.”
**Transcription**
[00:00:00] <Music>
Laura Dugger: Welcome to The Savvy Sauce, where we have practical chats for intentional living. I'm your host, Laura Dugger, and I'm so glad you're here.
[00:00:18] <Music>
Laura Dugger: Leman Property Management Company has the apartment you will be able to call home with over 1,700 apartment units available in central Illinois. Visit them today at lemanproperties.com or connect with them on Facebook.
Dr. Sylvia Hart Frejd is my guest today. She has advanced degrees in Christian counseling and leadership, and she's passionate about coaching people to flourish and thrive in all aspects of well-being. Today we're going to zero in on digital wellbeing as we talk about a book she co-authored with her late partner, Dr. Archibald Hart, titled The Digital Invasion: How Technology is Shaping You and Your Relationships. Listen in as we discuss technology's impact on our brains and our relationships. Here's our chat.
Welcome to The Savvy Sauce, Sylvia.
Dr. Sylvia Hart Frejd: Oh, thanks, Laura, for having me today on your podcast. It's a joy to get to talk with you.
Laura Dugger: [00:01:26] Well, I'm excited just to hear a little bit more about your journey that led you to where you are today.
Dr. Sylvia Hart Frejd: Oh, yes, absolutely. Well, I was actually born and raised in South Africa. My family moved to Los Angeles when I was ten for my dad, Dr. Archibald Hart, to be the dean at Fuller Seminary. He was actually one of the founders of Christian Psychology. And my mom actually was the chaplain to student wives for many years there at Fuller.
I did just want to say at the outset that both my parents died last summer, actually two and a half weeks apart. But they had a huge impact on my life. I just count it as a privilege to carry on their legacy. It was actually an honor to coauthor my book, The Digital Invasion, with my dad a few years ago. It was actually my first book, it was his last book. He was 83 when he wrote it, which I think is so encouraging for all of us that it's never too late or you're never too old.
But it was through researching that topic of this digital invasion that I really developed my passion to help families to thrive in their real life and relationships. It was a very personal journey for myself as I had my own wake up call to my son's video gaming addiction. So it's been a very personal journey to help my own family to carry on what my dad said was probably his most important work, and it was his final kiss, so to speak, to the church before he left this earth. So I'm very privileged and really humbled to do this work.
So now I founded the Flourish Wellbeing University, where I'm just teaching people how to flourish in their lives. I do grief and loss intensives. I'm very passionate about that topic. I've been married for 37 years and I have three children and I'm a nana to three beautiful grandchildren. I live with that every day, watching their exposure to the digital world and how hard it is to try to protect them from all that's out there and really helping my children parent my grandkids in a healthy use of technology.
Laura Dugger: [00:03:41] Well, you are an incredible woman. And I do just want to acknowledge the loss of both your parents so close together. I just want to say I'm profoundly thankful for all of your family. You've made such an impact in God's kingdom here on earth, and especially through Christian Psychology. So I do want to say I'm so sorry for your loss.
Dr. Sylvia Hart Frejd: Thank you, Laura. I appreciate that. My parents were 87 and 89 and they lived a full life and they finished well. And I hope that we all are encouraged to do the same thing.
Laura Dugger: [00:04:17] Yes. Well, like you said, you have researched so much about our digital lives. I just want to start here. What is your theology of technology?
Dr. Sylvia Hart Frejd: My father and I really spent a lot of time coming up with what is a good theology of technology. You don't hear a lot of this necessarily from the pulpit. So we would like to give that to people, what we believe. I have a long version in my book, but basically the simple version is just that God created us in His image to be relational beings, to be in relationship with Him, to be in relationship with ourselves, in relationship with others.
We believe that this technology is a gift. It's an amazing gift, and that we are to steward it well and that we're not to become slaves to it. But it's a tool ultimately to be used for God's glory. So that's kind of, in a nutshell, just our theology of technology.
Laura Dugger: [00:05:19] Let's focus on the positives first. How do you think we can use technology to further the kingdom of God?
Dr. Sylvia Hart Frejd: Laura, there are so many positive uses. And we really emphasized that when we wrote the book and when we speak on this topic, that technology is... and I've heard it said it's like a brick, right? You can use a brick to build a cathedral or you can use a brick to destroy something. So it can be used... I think of going to all the world to preach the gospel and how today, through technology, we can share the gospel.
I wish that I would do this more. And I’d encourage our listeners to think about, you know, how can we really share scriptures? I like to say post positive God stories, right, all the little ways and large ways that God's working in our lives. So I think there's so many positive ways we can use it.
We also can use it within our families to... you know, we have in our family a group text. I try to send scriptures from time to time or prayer requests or just ways to connect in our daily lives. So I think it really starts with just really praying about how God wants us to use our technology. We pray about so many things, who we should marry, where we live. This is something that our technology is just with us all the time. And we need to really be in prayer about, how is this a tool to ultimately bring God glory?
Laura Dugger: [00:06:51] I love how you bring this up, because even this week I felt the Lord speaking to me about The Savvy Sauce podcast and revealing that this is partly how He's invited me to do my part in the great commission. That even now, as I'm getting to sit and be discipled by you, Sylvia, my prayer is that this podcast and all of our episodes can also be discipling others and going out to all the nations. So technology can have a profound impact for the kingdom.
And I know sometimes people grow tired of hearing the negatives, but they're potentially so dangerous that I think it bears repeating. So what would you say are some warnings that you want to share as it relates to technology?
Dr. Sylvia Hart Frejd: Yes, absolutely. I think that listeners who are listening in today to really do some self-evaluation about, are they overusing or are they addicted to their technology. So just some of the warning signs are what happens if you can't find your phone? Do you get really anxious? Are you waking up during the night at all hours of the night to check your phone?
And this is a big one. Do you look at your phone when someone's talking to you? Almost like you can't stop it, you can't help yourself because you're not in control; your device is in control. And then another big one and I saw this again was a warning sign with my son was that he used to love to play the drums, he used to love to play soccer, and he didn't want to do those real-life things anymore because the things that he was doing in his virtual life were just way more stimulating. And we'll get into more of that, you know, the brain and what's happening there.
And then a big one is just ask your family. They'll tell you, right? Mom, you're on the phone too much. Dad, get off your devices. So those are some of the warning signs. And the one I'm the most concerned about, Laura, is just this incredible increase in anxiety and depression, especially with our younger generation. So those are just some of the things we have to look out for.
Laura Dugger: [00:08:59] And what do you believe are some of the antidotes that are available? If we are answering some of those questions and maybe we're convicted right now, what are some practical ways to offer hope?
Dr. Sylvia Hart Frejd: Absolutely. One of the themes that I have with flourish in real life and relationships is to balance it. Technology's not going away. The children today in schools are absolutely immersed in technology. They have their tablets. Their work is all on screens for the most part. So how do we balance that out with real life?
One of the things I did with my son was to find things that he enjoyed. He found he loved golf. So what are those things in real life that you can enjoy that can pull you out of the virtual life so that the virtual life isn't so desirable? Even with friends, right? We spend a lot of time on social media because we desire and God's created us to have connections. So just trying to balance that out with what could I be doing right now in real life? Is there something that would be a better use of my time? Calling a friend, FaceTiming with a friend. Getting out in nature.
Another really important antidote is to just try to practice good emotional intelligence. You know, the reason we have so much anxiety and depression is because we're not processing our emotions. So instead of have a painful feeling, where's my phone, to just be able to sit with that and say, what is this emotion trying to tell me right now? How can I process it and work with it?
Laura Dugger: [00:10:30] And I just want to add a little bit more to that as well, because your book I originally read when I first became a parent. And then after we had our four daughters, I wanted to revisit it in a different phase. So a few things that I've gathered. You talked about the practical application of journaling and what an impact that has on us. And then you also talk about different ways that we can recover a healthy pleasure center.
Five of those ways to restore the pleasure center, I'll just name them briefly, and people will have to read the book to find out more. But it's live a connected life, aim for sovereign joy, receive God's peace, practice gratitude, and cultivate hope and resilience. So would you want to elaborate on any of those thoughts?
Dr. Sylvia Hart Frejd: Oh, absolutely. It's just amazing how God has made our brains to help us to flourish. We see the damage that's been done in our brain system. And if we just really go with the things that God's given us, being able to journal, like you said, is huge. It takes so much of that anxiety and fear. The currency of Satan today is fear and anxiety. And being able to journal and pour our hearts out to God and take that time to put that down on paper is huge.
And being able to process those emotions so that I don't keep being distracted. Because that's what's really happening in our overuse of technology is our brains are being rewired for distraction. So being able to have that time to be still, to focus. If you're a parent out there today, that's one of the best things you could do for your children is just to get them to be still and to focus because, you know, the focused life is going to be the productive life. So, yes, I think all of those things to restore our tranquility system and our pleasure system are just huge.
Laura Dugger: [00:12:30] A follow-up question on that then. When you think of focus, would you consider that, like if they're doing an art project or something not even related to homework, if they're focused on play as they're younger, is that all intertwined?
Dr. Sylvia Hart Frejd: Oh, yes, absolutely. And I think that there's going to be enough time where they do have to be on technology beyond screen time. But the brain just thrives, Laura, in free time and playtime, and honestly, in boredom. And that seems like such a strange thing to talk about in this day and age. But you know, I shared I was born and raised in South Africa, and I had no screens at all. I didn't see television till I was almost a teenager. So I was incredibly bored.
And my dad would talk about this all the time, and how bored he was as a child in the 30s. And our brains become so creative when we're bored. So having that playtime, that fun time, that time to even just have to make up games, right, for our children is so important. So when kids say to the parents, “I'm bored.” “Good. That's great. You're bored.”
[00:13:44] <Music>
Laura Dugger: Let's take a quick break to hear a message from our sponsor.
Sponsor: With over 1,700 apartment units available throughout Pekin, Peoria, Peoria Heights, Morton, Washington, and Canton, and with every price range covered, you will have plenty of options when you rent through Leman Property Management Company. They have townhomes, duplexes, studios, and garden-style options located in many areas throughout Pekin.
In Peoria, a historic downtown location, apartments adjacent to the OSF Medical Center provide excellent choices. Check out their brand new luxury property in Peoria Heights overlooking the boutique shops and fine dining on Prospect.
And in Morton, they offer a variety of apartment homes with garages, a hot downtown location, and now a brand-new high-end complex near Idlewood Park.
Their beautiful spacious apartments with private garages and a quiet but convenient location await you in Washington. And if you're looking in Canton, don't miss Village Square Apartments.
Renters may be excited to learn about their flexible leases, pet-friendly locations, and even many storage units available in some locations. Leman Property Management company has a knowledgeable and helpful staff, including several employees with over 30 years working with this reputable company.
If you want to become a part of their team, contact them about open office positions. They're also hiring in their maintenance department. So we invite you to find out why so many people have chosen to make a career with them.
Check them out on Facebook today, or email their friendly staff at leasing@lemanprops.com. You can also stop by their website at lemanproperties.com. That's lemanproperties.com. Check them out and find your place to call home today.
[00:15:40] <Music>
Laura Dugger: What have you learned about how technology rewires our brains?
Dr. Sylvia Hart Frejd: So the main part to that is our overuse of technology rewires our brains through distraction. And the distracted brain becomes the addicted brain. So it's been called digital cocaine because our technology gives us this hit of dopamine in our pleasure center.
So we're just overusing our pleasure centers. The basis to that we're developing what Dr. Caroline Leaf calls the milkshake brain, where all of the multitasking—and we don't have time for all that—but multitasking has been proven to be a myth. We don't multitask, we multisequence. But we're getting this milkshake brain, right? I'm here, I'm there, I'm everywhere. So this is impacting these parts of our brain, the pleasure system in our brain. We're overloading it.
And then our learning system in the brain. A lot of that comes from the lack of sleep because our overuse of screens robs us of our sleep. And what we've learned can't go into our hypothalamus, into our long-term memory. It's impacting our tranquility system. It's amazing how God has made us with this brain that we have our own natural tranquility system.
So now we're having to use so much medication without anxiety and depression. But if we're able to really harness this natural hormone system God's given us, so we don't want to call disrupt the tranquility system, you know, a lot of us wouldn't need to be even on the medication. And then we're seeing the overuse of a technology impact our spiritual system, you know, that ability to experience God in what we talked about in Chapter 10 of our book, our God Space, that place in our brain where we experience God.
Laura Dugger: [00:17:28] Well, let's go a little bit further with some of those into the solutions. So if technology is rewiring our brains and harming our pleasure center, what is a healthy solution to restore that?
Dr. Sylvia Hart Frejd: Right. You know, it starts with really respecting your brain's limitations. I think as humans, we don't want to hear that, you know, that our brains are limited. We can't multitask. We can't be in two conversations at the same time. We need to teach our kids today, you know, listening to your children. And start with ourselves, you know, to single task.
And I try to do this, you know, when I'm like, "Okay, I want to do this, I want to do that." I really have to say, Stop, focus, you know, just do one thing, do that well, and then move on to the next. Because what happens if I'm doing one thing, and then I stopped to do something else, you know, the research says it takes us 10 minutes to refocus on what I started doing. So that is really huge. Just try the single-tasking.
Then a big piece is sleep. My dad used to talk about eight to nine hours of sleep a night. Our brain goes into recovery mode during our sleep time. And our brain needs a lot of sleep. And then it needs to balance out with screen-free time each day. I know it's gonna be different for each family what that looks like. But just even as you're listening today, think about where can I have time that I just am away from screens? Whether that's out in nature. You know, research is showing it's so healing time spent in nature. Where else can you have some screen-free time in your home?
Laura Dugger: [00:19:05] I'm assuming all of this impacts our tranquility system you were talking about as well. Are there any other tangible solutions that we can do to help aid this process of healing as well?
Dr. Sylvia Hart Frejd: Right. The main part of our tranquility system is when we're, like I was saying, with the digital cocaine, it keeps our stress levels high because the cortisol is up because I'm waiting for that next text or I'm waiting for that next post. So our stress hormones are being disrupted and they're staying so high. So that's, again, why we're seeing stress leads to anxiety, anxiety leads us to depression.
So when we can do things too lower that stress hormone. And there's a lot of great ways to do that. There's an app out there called Calm. You know, what can you do to just, whether it's through breathing, whether it's through just putting the phone down, and like I said, getting out in nature to try and lower that stress? Because that is really one of the main reasons why our overuse of technology is so damaging to our brains and our bodies is that high level of stress.
So whether that's through breathing, whether it's through exercise, what can you do to be very aware of your stress hormones response? And tuning into your body? What is your body experiencing right now? How can you calm that?
Laura Dugger: [00:20:26] A lot of this is covered on pages 62 to 73 of your book, if somebody's following along or wants to research more. But one of my takeaways from that section was just how amazing it was that breaks and sleep and face-to-face connection were repeated in the repair systems, and just how powerful those are. And the one other amazing takeaway just how God designed us is that practicing spiritual disciplines actually heals our brain. So would you want to say anything else about healing the spiritual system of our brain?
Dr. Sylvia Hart Frejd: Well, sure. You know, that was something as we were writing the book that, you know, you read all the bad news, right? And it was like, Well, what is the solution? What can help us? So it was really through Dr. Thompson's work, that neuro theology that he was talking about, how silence and solitude really helps to heal our brains.
So we really made this connection that if our overuse of technology is rewiring our brain for distraction, then it was really through the spiritual discipline of silence and solitude that our brains are able to heal. So that was a huge aha for us in reading that. So to just think about how are you balancing that each day. Are you getting time to be... you know, the Bible says in Psalm 46:10, "Be still and know that I'm God." He doesn't say, run around and do 10 things and you'll know I'm God.
Our brain, again, thrives in stillness and quiet. And if you look around your world today, we get so little of it. So the antidote really is right there for us. It's just going to take some self-management and some discipline right, to have that and to help your children to be still and not to always be entertained. My dad wrote the book, Thrilled to Death, and it was all about we're entertaining ourselves to death, where our children are being entertained to death. That really is our antidote.
Laura Dugger: [00:22:30] That is another profound book that made such an impact. I would highly recommend that one as well. But one more part that you talk about is the attachment system. I think of this, in general, is relationships, because attachment is such a large part. So could you explain attachment a little bit further, and then share how technology is impacting our relationships?
Dr. Sylvia Hart Frejd: Absolutely. This is such an important piece for us to grasp. God, again, He's created us to be in relationship, to be attached to Him, to have attachments with others. So to have healthy attachments, with our spouse, with our children, with friends, we need to feel safe, we need to feel seen, and we need to feel heard. That's really what is at the core of attachment theory or having attachment.
So how our technology robs us of that is that when we're constantly looking down at screens, when we're constantly distracted with our phones, those that we love are not going to feel seen and heard, right? I like to say, your children and your loved ones, they need your eyeballs. And that's really what we're fighting for.
I heard one tech creator say, you know, what we really want is your eyeballs, right? They're fighting to make these devices addicted to get our eyeballs. So that's what our loved ones need. To be present to those people right in front of us, not to have... it's actually a term called absent presence. And that's when you're in the same room with someone but you're actually with somebody else on a screen.
I really believe it's the greatest gift that we can give those that we love, the gift of our presence. I know as a Nana to three little grandchildren, that's one gift that I've promised them, you know, to form those healthy attachments with them is that they have the gift of my presence. And I'm very aware when I'm with them to put my phone down and to turn the TV off and to really give them that.
I think that as far as our attachment to God, that's what He wants us to be is to be attached to Him. But we have many... what I call false attachments. Those give us pleasure, right? They can be online shopping, social media, just surfing websites that can feel like, you know, they give us some kind of pleasure. But they're really false attachments.
We need to really work on... we're created for union with the Father, the Son, and the Spirit, right? The union. God wants us to keep union with Him, and then to be attached to those that we love. And I've heard stories and this has happened to me too, so not judging here. But you know, stories of kids saying, "I kicked the ball for the very first time, I looked up in the stands, and my dad was looking down at his phone. He missed it." That is going to impact how kids feel seen and feel heard and feel valued.
Laura Dugger: [00:25:25] Wow, that is so powerful, and so memorable, that our loved ones need our eyeballs. It makes me think of Matthew 6:22 that says, the eye is the lamp of the body. If your eyes are healthy, your whole body will be full of light. So that is so good and memorable. Thank you. They need our eyeballs. And with attachment that really begins with the parent-child relationship, right, and sets that child on a different trajectory of how they are likely going to attach to others, including the Lord?
Dr. Sylvia Hart Frejd: Oh, absolutely. You know, as I do work as a counselor and as a coach, as people come in, and sit with me, that is absolutely. If a parent was distant and aloof, that's how they see God. And when kids look at us, you know, we are the face of God to our children. And it's very sobering. And it's almost overwhelming.
I would say to my kids all the time, you know, I'm not perfect, I'm not going to reflect Jesus perfectly to you. But we need to really see that. The pleasure that we get from being on our devices sometimes is just... we need to be honest with ourselves, right? That it's overwhelming and it's a big hole.
But we have this little time, this little amount of time to be with our kids. Again, just getting back to that discipline of trying to get off the phone, trying to be there for them, because it will impact that child's life, how they see God, how they do relationships, whether they have an anxious attachment or an avoidant attachment, because there's different attachment styles. So that's just one little step you could take is just be there, be available, look in their eyes, and make them feel seen, and valued, and heard.
Laura Dugger: [00:27:13] I think that's such a balanced response. You're right, we cannot be perfect to our children, we will not be Jesus to them. And yet, there is a humbling reality and responsibility that we have. But I also love how you said, as a Nana, you're wanting to attach to your grandchildren. And it makes me think there are so many key players that also pour into our children to have that secure attachment.
Dr. Sylvia Hart Frejd: Definitely. You hear stories all the time of teachers, of Sunday school teachers and neighbors and grandparents who have a huge, huge impact. So I encourage anyone that's in my stage of life to grandparents to... you know, sometimes we're even more available. Maybe because we're older and we learned, hopefully, a few things, maybe a little bit wiser. But just to think about how you can help those in your life to form healthy attachments.
[00:28:13] <Music>
Laura Dugger: Thank you to all our patrons who financially support this work. You put a smile on our faces when you sign up to become a patron. Your generosity is both inspiring and encouraging, and we are so grateful.
I also want to invite everyone else to join the club. So visit thesavvysauce.com and click on the "Patreon" tab, then follow the prompts after clicking "Join Patreon Here!!!". When you contribute at least $5 a month, you automatically will have access to a bonus library of content. New podcasts are available exclusively to paying patrons every month. And every quarter, you get a new downloadable scripture card designed by Ange at Jars of Grace.
So visit thesavvysauce.com and click the "Patreon" tab today.
[00:29:03] <Music>
Laura Dugger: Overall, what would you say is the most helpful piece in restoring and repairing our brains and our relationships?
Dr. Sylvia Hart Frejd: That's a really good question. I think for me, having some kind of a plan, you know, some steps to take. I do have a digital wellness plan that my dad and I came up with. And I think if I can share some of those just practical ways.
I think it starts by just first of all trying to limit your exposure. Again, technology's not going away. We've seen in the last year and a half where you've been immersed way more than we were before. But just to be selective. Be a discriminant user.
One of the things I did was I removed my newsfeed from my phone. And that's just been really freeing to not just feel constantly a slave to the ping and the ding of what's happening. So just think of ways that you can even just limit some of your exposure for your own life, with your children.
And then try to create some space where technology doesn't go. And that may just be in small ways. Like sacred space in the morning where no phones are. Maybe just even one of the things I did notice sounds so small, but the baby steps is just when I go to the bathroom. You know, don't take your phone with you. Just have a place where your phone doesn't have to go everywhere with you.
And then to face your feelings. To really ask, why am I spending so much time in technology? What are those painful feelings I'm trying to self-soothe or to medicate? And then keep a journal of those feelings as we talked about before. And then finding beauty to balance the brokenness. I just love that. You know, there's so much brokenness in even our world, in that we get thrown at us through the news feeds and through social media.
And what is that beauty? You know, whether that's listening to encouraging podcasts, like hopefully, you're doing today, beautiful music, getting out in nature. Really God has given us so much beauty to balance the brokenness that's out there.
And then one that I think is really, really important. That is to go deep in this shallow world. I loved Mr. Rogers, he said, in a world that's fast and shallow, we need slow and deep. I think that is really, so much the antidote, and the answer to all of this is, how do we go slow and how do we go deep in a world that is so fast and shallow?
Laura Dugger: [00:31:38] Oh, wow, that is good. And it ties in. I'm going to quote you from page 156, where you write, "Our digital life serves us best when it is balanced by its opposite, namely, our unplugged life." That just makes me think when we are unplugged, that often will lead to conversations and conversations make up relationships.
Dr. Sylvia Hart Frejd: Oh, absolutely. I like to call myself the conversation doctor, because that's really what we're trying to reclaim in all of this is conversations. Again, conversations with God, conversations with ourselves, conversations with others, and especially, with our loved ones. It's through conversations that we learn how to be a human being, and it's how we get to know God.
So I like to say that in your home, there should be places that are digital-free zones where conversation can flow freely. And that's your kitchen, your dining room, and your car. If you can make all those places digital-free so you can really have conversations. That's how children develop emotional intelligence. Right? It's through conversations.
"So, really, how was school today?" "Oh, well, Sammy was mean to me." "Oh, how did that make you feel? What do you think's going on with Sammy?" As we have those conversations, that's how our children are learning about life. My mother used to say, In dialogue, our thoughts are clarified. We can say what we're feeling, we can have that back and forth dialogue. So trying to reclaim conversation is a big piece of what I'm doing.
Again, another baby step for you as a family, just the dining room table and just say, we're gonna have a conversation. And I know how it goes. I don't want to talk. How are you doing? Fine. I'm fine, Mom. I'm fine. But that's really what our kids need, and what our loved ones need is conversations.
Laura Dugger: [00:33:34] Yes to that. Absolutely. Healthy boundaries can provide so much freedom in our lives in various areas. But when we specifically look at digital limits that eventually can lead to greater freedom, what are some of the most beneficial boundaries you recommend we establish for ourselves and for our children?
Dr. Sylvia Hart Frejd: Sure. I'll just start through the age range. You know, for a toddler, they're saying too, this is the experts saying, to limit exposure to really no more than one hour a day of screen time, trying to make that educational programming. Sit with your child, interact with them, so they don't just zone out for an hour. To say, "Oh, what was happening with Daniel the tiger?" "He looks sad." "What do you think about that? Do you get sad?" So if you can have that interaction, it can just really be a lot more beneficial.
Then for children, they're saying no more than two hours of screen time. What I like to say is it's very hard to be legalistic about that. Set the timer and you know, how much was it? Was three minutes over or three minutes under. But to ask yourself this question: is there something my child should be doing that the screen time is preventing?
I really liked that. Because you know, maybe they should be napping, maybe they should be playing, having playtime with a friend. Maybe they should be outside. So that's really how we balance our real life and our virtual life is, is there something that this is preventing?
And then for teenagers, and I know this is controversial, but you know, to try not give a smartphone until the age of 13. That is what all the tech experts say, including Gates and Steve Jobs did not let their children have phones. So I figure if they created them, they must know something that we don't. Those are really good boundaries. Make sure you have your kids' passwords, that they sign a digital pledge, they know what's expected of them. No cell phones in the bedrooms. That's when most destructive behavior happens in middle of the night with texting, with kids sexting.
Have a charging station that's out, you know, where everyone can charge their phone, including parents. Because this is just not about digital wellness for kids, we need to be modeling this.
Then for us adults, try not to check your phone while you're getting ready for bed. Have about an hour of screen-free time to really get some good sleep. Don't check your phone first thing when you get up. I'd like to say let God get your first view, you know, talk to Him, get the Scripture before you get all the downloads from the day before.
And the most important part to all of this, I think as parents, as Christians, is just try to model digital wellness yourself saying more is caught than taught. If you have a good control, and you're modeling good digital habits, those will be caught.
Laura Dugger: [00:36:20] I want to go even deeper into the teenagers and technology because we've had some families reach out and just say, "This is a new place for us. We have given our children smartphones because we want to teach them while they're in our home how to steward this well. So do you have any recommendations for a balanced approach of wise ways that parents can parent their teens through this season of getting their smartphone and interacting with technology more?
Dr. Sylvia Hart Frejd: Yes, absolutely. Well, Laura, you know, I spent four years working at a university and I would work with students on their digital wellness. So I want to say to parents of teenagers, yes, it's very wise to let them have access to their phones. I even say that their senior year, maybe even let them have their phone in the room. Because the point is they go off to college, and then suddenly, it's total freedom. So they need to sort of be released to know how to do that.
Most important thing is really to have conversations. I had a lot of college students say to me, "My parents didn't teach me how to use my digital devices." Well, I have many kids say that's how they got into internet pornography. "My parents didn't talk about sex, so I was curious. And I just started googling."
I had many kids tell me, young people tell me that they wanted to talk with their parents, but when they go into the rooms, their parents were all distracted on their devices. So they would just go back to the room and text with friends. So I think it's really important in those high school years that you're available. Again, the eyeball analogy: Be there when your child wants to talk, especially at nighttime. That's when kids' spirits seem to really be open. And that's when we're the most tired, and we don't want to talk. Be available to them to have those conversations and say, If you have any questions, if you come to me, there's no subject that's off limits. So you're available for them.
And then having the passwords and letting them know there is going to be some accountability. You know, what you do post or what you put out there, you know, you are going to have accountability, not in a mean way or strict way, but in a "I want to help you. And I want to help you to thrive when you do go off to college, and you do launch from this home".
So the relationship is everything. It's out of the strength of our attachment and our relationship that we create the rules and the boundaries. So really work on the relationship. Even after listening to this podcast, you know, say this is what I learned today, and I want to help you to not have a distracted brain. I want to help you to have some good boundaries with your digital use. I think that's really the answer.
Laura Dugger: [00:38:56] I think my takeaway when I have a quick thought, when interacting with our kids, I'm going to try and remember eyeballs in conversation, to prioritize those in the relationship. I want to quote you again on page 31, where you and your dad write, "Our findings confirmed our worst fear. Digital engagement seems to be breaking down their sense of unity as a family." So, Sylvia, how can we redeem what technology has stolen from our family?
Dr. Sylvia Hart Frejd: Yes, getting back to the purpose of our technology, you know, technology was created to make our lives easier and more productive. That's really what it's about. It's funny how it ends up making our lives harder and less productive. But if we get back to the intended design and use of that and to think putting technology in its place in your home, where does it belong?
And again, it's going to be different for each family. I've talked with families who have very little screen very few screens and tech families and have a lot. So starting by just praying. What is our family mission statement? How are we going to use technology in this home? And how do we want to use it in a way that's redemptive.
So again, using it, to share family devotionals, to share scriptures, to encourage your kids to post positive things about their classmates. I had people tell me that college recruiters that they look to see who are the kids that are making positive comments about fellow students are way to go, you hit a home run, a great job. So just being a really positive force.
And then again, having as many face-to-face conversations as a family as you can, and breaking up that conversation deficit. You know, FaceTiming with relatives. I live with my grandchildren now at the same time, but I did it for a while, and I loved being able to FaceTime. So being able to connect them with other family members, maybe they don't get to see all the time.
And then really sitting down and praying as a family. How do you think God wants us to use this technology? And then coming up with your own family digital wellness plan. It is amazing when you let your kids take ownership of it. They may even be a little stricter than you thought, you know. But be ready that when they say, "Mom, you're on the phone too much," or "Dad, you're on your devices too much" to not be defensive, and "no, I'm not." But to be able to say, "You know, you're right, and we can do this together."
So the beauty of this is I think it can be very redemptive in bringing families closer together and coming together to come up with a digital wellness plan.
Laura Dugger: [00:41:32] And I'm wondering, Sylvia, if that's part of your story. So just to turn it a little bit more personal now, would you be open to sharing a little bit more of your family's journey through your son's struggle with video gaming addiction?
Dr. Sylvia Hart Frejd: Oh, absolutely. It really started with sitting down with him and with my other two children as well, and just really sharing how much I loved him and how much I was his biggest fan, biggest supporter, and how I wanted to see her thrive in his real life. Then I started sharing education. So it wasn't just, you know, This is what I think or feel. This is what the research is telling us. And really stepping them through the reality of what... you know, I shared with him what was happening to his brain and he's very, very smart.
If you have children today that are addicted to video gaming, to realize that the high-risk is a very intelligent child who's a little more introverted. And that's who he was. So really sharing that, you know, that you are more introverted. And finding, you know, what are things you enjoy in real life? AAnd encouraging him in that and giving him opportunities to join the golf team, to find ways to connect with other people. So I actually taught him a lot of emotional intelligence, because my other two are very high in emotional intelligence. He's higher in IQ.
So really just sharing that and keeping it about the heart relationship of how much I love him, and I want to see him thrive. And entering his world. You know, I would sit and watch him play the game and say, "What is about this that you love?" And trying to understand rather than just "stop that. That's not good for you." You know, "Help me understand why do you enjoy this? And what is it that you can do in real life that would give you the same sense of mastery, and accomplishment?"
Laura Dugger: [00:43:31] Sylvia, where is your son now on his journey of recovery?
Dr. Sylvia Hart Frejd: Oh, yes, yes, absolutely. He graduated from college. So that was a big plus. I mean, I would be honest in saying that I think it's still something that he's really drawn to. And I think like he says, to me, "Mom, our generation is just going to video games for the rest of our lives. That's what we do. You guys would watch TV, we videogame."
So I think it's going to still be an ongoing challenge for him. I wouldn't say the ending is, you know, he gave up into gaming, and everything's great. I think it's still a challenge for him. But I've seen a definite maturing, and an ability to balance it out with his real life.
I think that's important, too. It's not like AA where, well, you just don't ever touch alcohol again. With these types of addictions, it's difficult, because you're going to be in technology the rest of your life. You can't just, for most of us, throw it away. So it's definitely an ongoing challenge, I think, for him. But I would say the key piece was just the relationship of him knowing that I love him and I'm supporting him, encouraging him, and his awareness of what's going on. And the education he's received on the topic has really been helpful.
Laura Dugger: [00:44:47] Well, thank you. That's incredibly helpful to hear the reality and the picture of real-life struggle with this and maturing and managing it. And for others who are maybe in the midst of a struggle with a digital addiction, what's your vision maybe 10 years from now, for those who learn to master this area of their life compared to those who eventually will become mastered by it?
Dr. Sylvia Hart Frejd: Well, I tell people all the time, if you master your technology instead of it mastering you, you really will be a cut above your peers. I would say that to the college students that I would teach. If you're able to master it and really have a focus brain single task, you're going to have better emotional intelligence, which is your self-awareness. If you're able to get off your phone and tune into what you're feeling and journal that, you're going to have better self-management, because our overuse of technology shuts down our prefrontal cortex, and that's the executive management part of our brain.
So you're going to be able to self-manage better. You're going to have a better relationship management. You'll have deeper relationships with God. You're going to be able to hear from God because you're still and you're quiet and you can hear from Him. Definitely, you know, the deeper relationship with your family and friends. And not only to talk to God, but really being a listener and being able to hear God's voice, it's just such an important part of our relationship with God.
And I think, for those who, unfortunately, are going to be mastered by it, I guess just we'll look at the opposite of that. That they're going to really struggle and not have good EQ. And resources is showing how important that emotional intelligence is now for success, people with high EQ make more money, they have more friends, they have a better quality of life.
Your relationships are not going to be as deep because it does take that attachment. They need your eyeballs. And if they don't have your eyeballs, you're not going to have those close attachments. And you're going to honestly just the addicted brain... your brain loves novelty. You're going to probably get into other addictions, as well. Because, you know, if you're going to become pleasure-seeker, or as my dad talked about becoming a hedonic, where you don't find pleasure in anything. So, you know, I hate to paint such a grim picture but this really is serious, and it's the truth.
Laura Dugger: [00:47:11] That is serious. And I do appreciate you even giving practical steps prior in this conversation of actionable ways that people can start working on their own healing journey. And as it relates to the future, where do you think technology is headed and what should be on our radar?
Dr. Sylvia Hart Frejd: I love talking about future things. It's important to think as Christians for us to be aware of what technology is being created. And I think in some ways, we're probably not as savvy in that topic as we should be. So technology's really moving from external to internal. So we've had our smartphones, now we have our watches we wear, and now Google's working on an implant to implant us with a chip.
So basically the goal is that at nighttime, we would be able to download everything directly into our brains. They also, of course, have Google Glass you've probably heard of, where you'll just wear the glasses, and then you know, projects the screen in front of you. So you can have the internet with you wherever you go.
We have what's called the singularity, with Ray Kurtzweil. Google is paying him millions and millions of dollars to create what's called singularity. If you're interested, you can Google it. But it's basically where we will merge humanity and technology. He says that it will be a future of unparalleled human-machine synthesis.
So, again, as Christians, we need to know about this. It's called transhumanism, where the goal is that they say humans are limited and we need to evolve. So our next level of evolving is to become part robot, part human. And the goal of transhumanism is really to live forever, which if we see where that's coming from, that God hasn't created us to live forever here on earth.
So I think it's important for us as Christians to know about that, to also be aware of what's being created in relationship robots. Many people want to be in relationship with a robot instead of a human. We see that even in Japan, the marriage rate is going away down. And a lot of that is because real life can't compete with a virtual life. So the more immersed we are in the virtual world, the less desirable the real world becomes to us.
And we see that we haven't really gotten to touch on that with internet pornography, that many people can't even have real-life sexual relationships because what they get through the digital images is so much greater than real life. So just to be aware of that as Christians, you know, what is happening out there and what honestly in the next 20 or 30 years our children are going to be facing.
Laura Dugger: [00:49:59] Wow, that is very sobering to hear. And even that last example of pornography, that maybe that intimacy or connection that they're actually longing for can never be met in that way, because God didn't design it that way. And it does sabotage the real-life relationship then. A few things then with this, what do you challenge us to do with this information? And how are you aware of all of these future trends?
Dr. Sylvia Hart Frejd: Well, you know, I think the challenge to us as Christians starts with something my dad talked about all the time. And that is we need to respect our limitations. You know, the limitations of our bodies, our brains. We're not meant to live forever on this earth. We're created to be in a relationship with God, an intimate love relationship with God, with ourselves, that self-awareness with other human beings. It's demanding, it's messy. And that's why a lot of people say they want to be in relationship with robots, they don't make demands of them.
Real life is demanding, real relationships are messy. But this is what God uses to refine us really and to transform us into His image. So we need to protect those establishments, protect our God's space, that place in our brain where we experience God.
You know, scientists are telling us that our brains could be rewired to a place where we won't be able to even experience God. I think in Psalm 139:13, it says, "You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body and knit me together and my mother's womb. Your workmanship is marvelous, how well I know it." So we need to protect this amazing workmanship, those delicate parts of our brain of our God's space, and to see what's happening with and fight that. You know, relationships with robots, whatever the world is saying, to know that God has us to be in real-life relationships, and to be in real life as much as possible.
Laura Dugger: [00:52:03] I think that's a great challenge to end on. One of the benefits of technology is that we can still learn more from you even after this chat, regardless of where we live in the world. So Sylvia, where can we find you online?
Dr. Sylvia Hart Frejd: Sure. Well, I have the flourishwellbeinguniversity.com. You can go there, or you can email me at drsylvia@flourishwellbeinguniversity.com.
Laura Dugger: Wonderful. We will provide those links in the show notes for today's episode. And you know we're called The Savvy Sauce because savvy is synonymous with practical knowledge. So as my final question for you today, what is your savvy sauce?
Dr. Sylvia Hart Frejd: Yes, I love that. Well, my savvy sauce relates to what I shared about protecting my God's space in my brain. And that is I take 10 to 15 minutes each day to practice silence and solitude with God. I just get in a quiet place and just be with Him. No agenda, just being open to Him, finding my centeredness and my peace in that place.
And then after the time's over, as I go through my day, any time crisis arise or anxiety comes to me or the storms of life, I just go back to that place, Laura, that place of stillness and quiet. And that really helps me to stay centered, to stay grounded in a very uncentered ungrounded world. So I hope that your listeners will consider that, to take some time to do that each day.
Laura Dugger: Yes, well, thank you for living out these principles that you've recommended to us today. You're just such a great role model for us to follow as we all seek to steward technology well, and ultimately glorify God in the process. So thank you for sharing all of that with us today. And thank you for being my guest.
Dr. Sylvia Hart Frejd: Well, thank you, Laura, for having me. It was really a privilege.
Laura Dugger: [00:54:05] Ever since launching this podcast in 2018, our team has tried to release at least one episode every Monday morning. In addition, we also launched a secret bonus episode for paying patrons on the first of every month. But in 2022, we're changing things up a bit. We will continue to release the bonus episode for paying patrons. But on those weeks when it's the first of the month, that will be the only episode going live. Which means next week on Monday, there will not be a brand new episode available for the general public.
If you benefited from any messages on The Savvy Sauce, we would encourage you to support our work through joining Patreon. You can go to thesavvysauce.com, click on the "Patreon" tab, click "join Patreon here", and then follow the prompts so that you can have access to all these bonus episodes and downloadable scripture cards. We hope you join us there. Otherwise, we'll see you back here in two weeks.
One more thing before you go. Have you heard the term "gospel" before? It simply means good news. And I want to share the best news with you. But it starts with the bad news. Every single one of us were born sinners and God is perfect and holy, so He cannot be in the presence of sin. Therefore, we're separated from Him.
This means there's absolutely no chance we can make it to heaven on our own. So for you and for me, it means we deserve death and we can never pay back the sacrifice we owe to be saved. We need a savior. But God loved us so much, He made a way for His only son to willingly die in our place as the perfect substitute.
This gives us hope of life forever in right relationship with Him. That is good news. Jesus lived the perfect life we could never live and died in our place for our sin. This was God's plan to make a way to reconcile with us so that God can look at us and see Jesus.
We can be covered and justified through the work Jesus finished if we choose to receive what He has done for us. Romans 10:9 says that if you confess with your mouth Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead, you will be saved.
So would you pray with me now? Heavenly, Father, thank You for sending Jesus to take our place. I pray someone today right now is touched and chooses to turn their life over to You. Will You clearly guide them and help them take their next step in faith to declare You as Lord of their life? We trust You to work and change their lives now for eternity. In Jesus name, we pray, amen.
[00:56:53] If you prayed that prayer, you are declaring Him for me, so me for Him, you get the opportunity to live your life for Him.
At this podcast, we are called Savvy for a reason. We want to give you practical tools to implement the knowledge you have learned. So you're ready to get started?
First, tell someone. Say it out loud. Get a Bible. The first day I made this decision my parents took me to Barnes and Noble to get the Quest NIV Bible and I love it. Start by reading the book of John.
Get connected locally, which basically means just tell someone who is part of the church in your community that you made a decision to follow Christ. I'm assuming they will be thrilled to talk with you about further steps such as going to church and getting connected to other believers to encourage you.
We want to celebrate with you too. So feel free to leave a comment for us if you made a decision for Christ. We also have show notes included where you can read Scripture that describes this process.
Finally, be encouraged. Luke 15:10 says, "In the same way, I tell you, there is rejoicing in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner who repents." The heavens are praising with you for your decision today.
If you've already received this good news, I pray that you have someone else to share it with today. You are loved and I look forward to meeting you here next time.