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Do you want ideas for questions to deepen your conversations? Do you want to feel intimately connected to your spouse? Do you desire to parent with purpose? If so, tune in each Monday with Laura, a licensed marriage and family therapist who specialized in Christian sex therapy. She interviews the best faith-based speakers to answer our questions and doesn't shy away from a wide range of difficult topics. Sexual intimacy is discussed once a month so that you can delight in your marital relationship, feel equipped to teach your children about sex, and learn practical ways to overcome hurt or addiction. Episodes on health and wellness cover topics of hormones and free lifestyle swaps, perimenopause, and what simple practices yield HUGE health benefits. Marital experts teach conflict resolution that actually works, parenting pros share wisdom from newborns to adult children, business leaders let us in on secrets of the trade, and the foundation of everything is Jesus Christ! Find joy here and live on purpose as you consider, “What’s your savvy sauce?!"
Episodes
13 hours ago
13 hours ago
*Disclaimer* This episode contains some mature themes and listener discretion is advised.
Top Ten from 2025: #5 Questions for More Connection and Laughter in Marriage with Casey and Meygan Caston (Episode 269)
2 Corinthians 1:4 NIRV "He comforts us in all our troubles. Now we can comfort others when they are in trouble. We ourselves receive comfort from God."
*Transcription of original episode* Questions for More Connection and Laughter in Marriage with Casey and Meygan Caston (Episode 269)
Questions and Topics We Cover:
- Will you share three of the questions from your most recent book, specifically the ones people have told you unlocked the best conversations in their own marriage?
- You say you're an unlikely couple to help support marriages. Will you share a glimpse of your own backstory?
- What are a handful of ideas for ways couples can strengthen their connection with one another?
Casey and Meygan Caston are the Co-Founders of Marriage365. Casey and Meygan were perfect examples of what not to do in marriage. Three years into marriage, they found themselves having racked up more than $250,000 in debt, fighting constantly, and were ready to call it quits. Despite the 12 failed marriages between their parents, they knew this wasn't the legacy they wanted for themselves or their children. They began reading and educating themselves on how to do marriage the right way. The result of their journey is Marriage365, where they millions of people worldwide through their books, social media, retreats, and their online streaming service, Marriage365.
Thank You to Our Sponsor: Inquisicook
Sample of Previous Episodes on Sexual Intimacy on The Savvy Sauce:
5 Ways to Deepen Your Intimacy in Marriage with Dr. Douglas Rosenau
6 Ten Common Questions About Sex, Shared Through a Biblical Worldview with Dr. Michael Sytsma
89 Passion Pursuit with Dr. Juli Slattery
108 Anatomy of an Affair with Dave Carder
135 Healthy Ways for Females to Increase Sexual Enjoyment with Tracey LeGrand
155 Sex in Marriage and Its Positive Effects with Francie Winslow, Part 1
156 Science and Art of Sexual Intimacy in Marriage, Part 2
158 Making Love in Marriage with Debra Fileta
165 Mutually Pleasing Sex in Marriage with Gary Thomas
218 Secrets of Sex and Marriage: An Interview with Dr. Michael Sytsma
Special Patreon Release: Protecting Your Marriage Against Unfaithfulness with Dave Carder
Connect with The Savvy Sauce on Facebook, Instagram or Our Website
Please help us out by sharing this episode with a friend, leaving a 5-star rating and review, and subscribing to this podcast!
Gospel Scripture: (all NIV)
Romans 3:23 “for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God,”
Romans 3:24 “and are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus.”
Romans 3:25 (a) “God presented him as a sacrifice of atonement, through faith in his blood.”
Hebrews 9:22 (b) “without the shedding of blood there is no forgiveness.”
Romans 5:8 “But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”
Romans 5:11 “Not only is this so, but we also rejoice in God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have now received reconciliation.”
John 3:16 “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.”
Romans 10:9 “That if you confess with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.”
Luke 15:10 says “In the same way, I tell you, there is rejoicing in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner who repents.”
Romans 8:1 “Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus”
Ephesians 1:13–14 “And you also were included in Christ when you heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation. Having believed, you were marked in him with a seal, the promised Holy Spirit, who is a deposit guaranteeing our inheritance until the redemption of those who are God’s possession- to the praise of his glory.”
Ephesians 1:15–23 “For this reason, ever since I heard about your faith in the Lord Jesus and your love for all the saints, I have not stopped giving thanks for you, remembering you in my prayers. I keep asking that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, may give you the spirit of wisdom and revelation, so that you may know him better. I pray also that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints, and his incomparably great power for us who believe. That power is like the working of his mighty strength, which he exerted in Christ when he raised him from the dead and seated him at his right hand in the heavenly realms, far above all rule and authority, power and dominion, and every title that can be given, not only in the present age but also in the one to come. And God placed all things under his feet and appointed him to be head over everything for the church, which is his body, the fullness of him who fills everything in every way.”
Ephesians 2:8–10 “For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith – and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God – not by works, so that no one can boast. For we are God‘s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.“
Ephesians 2:13 “But now in Christ Jesus you who once were far away have been brought near through the blood of Christ.“
Philippians 1:6 “being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.”
Monday Jun 29, 2026
Monday Jun 29, 2026
Top Ten from 2025: #6 Choosing Fun and Adventure in Your Marriage and with Your Family: An Interview with Dan & Sam Mathews (Episode 266)
Isaiah 55:12 MSG “So you’ll go out in joy, you’ll be led into a whole and complete life. The mountains and hills will lead the parade, bursting with song. All the trees of the forest will join the procession, exuberant with applause. No more thistles, but giant sequoias, no more thornbushes, but stately pines— Monuments to me, to God, living and lasting evidence of God.”
*Transcription of original episode* Choosing Fun and Adventure in Your Marriage and with Your Family: An Interview with Dan & Sam Mathews (Episode 266)
Dan and Sam Mathews have been married since 2014 and currently reside in Missouri with their two kids, Canyon and Ember. Since the moment they got married, Dan and Samantha have been living a life of sacrifice and faith. From backpacking in Arkansas to RV road trips across the US, they have always taken the adventurous route. Sam is a lifestyle vlogger and content creator, and Dan hosts a hunting podcast in addition to his social platforms. Together they share their life of adventure online with millions of followers. Follow them on socials @wearedanandsam.
Thank You to Our Sponsor: Inquisicook
Questions and Topics We Cover:
- What are a few adventures you're so grateful you said yes to in life?
- Matthew 25:26 MSG says, "That's a terrible way to live! It's criminal to live cautiously like that!" So drawing your wisdom from the Lord, how does your faith fuel your sense of adventure?
- How can we begin to enjoy an adventurous life in our marriage and with our family?
Other Episodes Mentioned from The Savvy Sauce Podcast:
82 Traveling with Your Family with Katie Mueller
242 Stories Series: He Gives and Takes Away with Joyce Hodel
Connect with The Savvy Sauce on Facebook, Instagram or Our Website
Gospel Scripture: (all NIV)
Romans 3:23 “for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God,”
Romans 3:24 “and are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus.”
Romans 3:25 (a) “God presented him as a sacrifice of atonement, through faith in his blood.”
Hebrews 9:22 (b) “without the shedding of blood there is no forgiveness.”
Romans 5:8 “But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”
Romans 5:11 “Not only is this so, but we also rejoice in God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have now received reconciliation.”
John 3:16 “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.”
Romans 10:9 “That if you confess with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.”
Luke 15:10 says “In the same way, I tell you, there is rejoicing in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner who repents.”
Romans 8:1 “Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus”
Ephesians 1:13–14 “And you also were included in Christ when you heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation. Having believed, you were marked in him with a seal, the promised Holy Spirit, who is a deposit guaranteeing our inheritance until the redemption of those who are God’s possession- to the praise of his glory.”
Ephesians 1:15–23 “For this reason, ever since I heard about your faith in the Lord Jesus and your love for all the saints, I have not stopped giving thanks for you, remembering you in my prayers. I keep asking that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, may give you the spirit of wisdom and revelation, so that you may know him better. I pray also that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints, and his incomparably great power for us who believe. That power is like the working of his mighty strength, which he exerted in Christ when he raised him from the dead and seated him at his right hand in the heavenly realms, far above all rule and authority, power and dominion, and every title that can be given, not only in the present age but also in the one to come. And God placed all things under his feet and appointed him to be head over everything for the church, which is his body, the fullness of him who fills everything in every way.”
Ephesians 2:8–10 “For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith – and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God – not by works, so that no one can boast. For we are God‘s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.“
Ephesians 2:13 “But now in Christ Jesus you who once were far away have been brought near through the blood of Christ.“
Philippians 1:6 “being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.”
Monday Jun 22, 2026
Monday Jun 22, 2026
Top Ten from 2025: #7 Raising Healthy Children with Dr. Charles Fay (Episode 254)
2 Chronicles 20:12b (NIV) "We do not know what to do, but our eyes are on you.”
*Transcription of original episode* Raising Healthy Children with Dr. Charles Fay (Episode 254)
Questions and Topics We Discuss:
-
When it comes to helping our child find purpose in life, what are some helpful questions to ask and why is this even important?
-
What are some specific examples of beneficial discipline for a variety of ages of children?
-
What are natural and proactive ways we can improve mental health in ourselves and our children?
Charles Fay, PhD, is an internationally recognized author, consultant, and public speaker. He is also president of the Love and Logic Institute, which became part of Amen Clinics in 2020. Millions of educators, mental health professionals, and parents worldwide have benefited from Dr. Fay's down-to-earth solutions to the most common and frustrating behaviors displayed by youth of all ages. These methods come directly from years of experience serving severely disturbed youth and their families in psychiatric hospitals, public and private schools, homes, and other settings. For more information, visit loveandlogic.com.
Dr. Fay's Book, Co-Authored with Dr. Daniel Amen: Raising Mentally Strong Kids
Thank You to Our Sponsor: Inquisicook
Connect with The Savvy Sauce on Facebook or Instagram or Our Website
Please help us out by sharing this episode with a friend, leaving a 5-star rating and review, and subscribing to this podcast!
Gospel Scripture: (all NIV)
Romans 3:23 “for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God,”
Romans 3:24 “and are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus.”
Romans 3:25 (a) “God presented him as a sacrifice of atonement, through faith in his blood.”
Hebrews 9:22 (b) “without the shedding of blood there is no forgiveness.”
Romans 5:8 “But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”
Romans 5:11 “Not only is this so, but we also rejoice in God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have now received reconciliation.”
John 3:16 “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.”
Romans 10:9 “That if you confess with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.”
Luke 15:10 says “In the same way, I tell you, there is rejoicing in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner who repents.”
Romans 8:1 “Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus”
Ephesians 1:13–14 “And you also were included in Christ when you heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation. Having believed, you were marked in him with a seal, the promised Holy Spirit, who is a deposit guaranteeing our inheritance until the redemption of those who are God’s possession- to the praise of his glory.”
Ephesians 1:15–23 “For this reason, ever since I heard about your faith in the Lord Jesus and your love for all the saints, I have not stopped giving thanks for you, remembering you in my prayers. I keep asking that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, may give you the spirit of wisdom and revelation, so that you may know him better. I pray also that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints, and his incomparably great power for us who believe. That power is like the working of his mighty strength, which he exerted in Christ when he raised him from the dead and seated him at his right hand in the heavenly realms, far above all rule and authority, power and dominion, and every title that can be given, not only in the present age but also in the one to come. And God placed all things under his feet and appointed him to be head over everything for the church, which is his body, the fullness of him who fills everything in every way.”
Ephesians 2:8–10 “For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith – and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God – not by works, so that no one can boast. For we are God‘s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.“
Ephesians 2:13 “But now in Christ Jesus you who once were far away have been brought near through the blood of Christ.“
Philippians 1:6 “being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.”
Monday Jun 15, 2026
Monday Jun 15, 2026
*DISCLAIMER* This interview includes some adult themes and is not intended for young ears.
Matthew 9:37 (NIV) "Then he said to his disciples, “The harvest is plentiful but the workers are few."
*Transcription of original episode* God, Sex, and Your Marriage: Special Patreon Release Interview with Dr. Juli Slattery
Questions We Discuss:
-
For many couples, sex can be a difficult area of marriage and you encourage people that is normal, but you also warn us not to confuse normal with healthy. What is normal for married couples and what is healthy, as it relates to sexual intimacy in marriage?
-
What is God's genius chemical cocktail that we experience during sex?
-
Will you give a brief overview of your four pillars of intimacy?
Dr. Juli Slattery is a clinical psychologist, author, speaker and broadcast media professional with over twenty-five years of experience counseling, and teaching women. She’s the president and co-founder of Authentic Intimacy, a unique ministry devoted to teaching God’s design for intimacy and sexuality. In 2020, Juli launched SexualDiscipleship.com, a platform designed to help Christian leaders navigate sexual issues and questions with gospel-centered truth. She hosts a weekly podcast, Java with Juli, where she answers tough questions about relationships, marriage, and spiritual, emotional and sexual intimacy. www.authenticintimacy.com
Other Episodes with Dr. Juli Slattery on The Savvy Sauce:
Passion Pursuit with Dr. Juli Slattery
Patreon 26 Holy Sex with Dr. Juli Slattery
Life-Giving Marriage with Dr. Juli Slattery
Thank You to Our Sponsors: Female by Design
Connect with The Savvy Sauce on Facebook or Instagram or Our Website
Please help us out by sharing this episode with a friend, leaving a 5-star rating and review, and subscribing to this podcast!
Gospel Scripture: (all NIV)
Romans 3:23 “for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God,”
Romans 3:24 “and are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus.”
Romans 3:25 (a) “God presented him as a sacrifice of atonement, through faith in his blood.”
Hebrews 9:22 (b) “without the shedding of blood there is no forgiveness.”
Romans 5:8 “But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”
Romans 5:11 “Not only is this so, but we also rejoice in God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have now received reconciliation.”
John 3:16 “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.”
Romans 10:9 “That if you confess with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.”
Luke 15:10 says “In the same way, I tell you, there is rejoicing in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner who repents.”
Romans 8:1 “Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus”
Ephesians 1:13–14 “And you also were included in Christ when you heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation. Having believed, you were marked in him with a seal, the promised Holy Spirit, who is a deposit guaranteeing our inheritance until the redemption of those who are God’s possession- to the praise of his glory.”
Ephesians 1:15–23 “For this reason, ever since I heard about your faith in the Lord Jesus and your love for all the saints, I have not stopped giving thanks for you, remembering you in my prayers. I keep asking that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, may give you the spirit of wisdom and revelation, so that you may know him better. I pray also that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints, and his incomparably great power for us who believe. That power is like the working of his mighty strength, which he exerted in Christ when he raised him from the dead and seated him at his right hand in the heavenly realms, far above all rule and authority, power and dominion, and every title that can be given, not only in the present age but also in the one to come. And God placed all things under his feet and appointed him to be head over everything for the church, which is his body, the fullness of him who fills everything in every way.”
Ephesians 2:8–10 “For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith – and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God – not by works, so that no one can boast. For we are God‘s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.“
Ephesians 2:13 “But now in Christ Jesus you who once were far away have been brought near through the blood of Christ.“
Philippians 1:6 “being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.”
Monday Jun 08, 2026
Monday Jun 08, 2026
Top Ten from 2025: #9 Raising Healthy Kids: Free Tips with Emily Johnson (Episode 275)
1 Corinthians 6:19-20 NIV "Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies."
*Transcription of original episode* Raising Healthy Kids: Free Tips with Emily Johnson (Episode 275)
Hi, I'm Emily Johnson. I am a homeschool mama of two beautiful kiddos, married to my high school sweetheart, and the owner of Gracious Healing, a online nutritional practice that works with families to get to the root of their health issues with a holistic view and approach. I deeply love Jesus and pursue Him in all that I do, including health. After walking through decades of undiagnosed health issues, I was lead to the world of functional medicine and eventually into the holistic health world. After finding support for my body and that of my kids (who have been on their own health journeys) I was able to pursue further education and began working with clients on a 1:1 basis, to help them find the hope and health that I have found.
Questions and Topics We Cover:
- Let's go over various areas and see what quick tips and starting ideas you have for each, beginning with water and hydration: Will you lay the groundwork here?
- How does sunlight and outdoor time impact our children's health
- How is nature a natural filtration system for air?
Thank You to Our Sponsor: Slumber Sleepwear
Other Episode Mentioned from The Savvy Sauce:
259 God Speaks to His Kids . . . Here's How with Chris Allen
Additional Savvy Sauce Episodes Related to Healthy Living:
33 Pursuing Health in the New Year with Functional Medicine Specialist, Dr. Jill Carnahan
80 Hormones and Body Image with Certified Sex Therapist, Vickie George
90 Friendship with Drew Hunter
126 Rhythms of Renewal with Gabe and Rebekah Lyons — The Savvy Sauce Podcast
129 Healthy Living with Dr. Tonya Khouri — The Savvy Sauce Podcast
212 School Series: Benefits of Homeschooling with Jodi Mockabee
Connect with The Savvy Sauce through Our Website
Please help us out by sharing this episode with a friend, leaving a 5-star rating and review, and subscribing to this podcast!
Gospel Scripture: (all NIV)
Romans 3:23 “for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God,”
Romans 3:24 “and are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus.”
Romans 3:25 (a) “God presented him as a sacrifice of atonement, through faith in his blood.”
Hebrews 9:22 (b) “without the shedding of blood there is no forgiveness.”
Romans 5:8 “But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”
Romans 5:11 “Not only is this so, but we also rejoice in God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have now received reconciliation.”
John 3:16 “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.”
Romans 10:9 “That if you confess with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.”
Luke 15:10 says “In the same way, I tell you, there is rejoicing in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner who repents.”
Romans 8:1 “Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus”
Ephesians 1:13–14 “And you also were included in Christ when you heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation. Having believed, you were marked in him with a seal, the promised Holy Spirit, who is a deposit guaranteeing our inheritance until the redemption of those who are God’s possession- to the praise of his glory.”
Ephesians 1:15–23 “For this reason, ever since I heard about your faith in the Lord Jesus and your love for all the saints, I have not stopped giving thanks for you, remembering you in my prayers. I keep asking that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, may give you the spirit of wisdom and revelation, so that you may know him better. I pray also that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints, and his incomparably great power for us who believe. That power is like the working of his mighty strength, which he exerted in Christ when he raised him from the dead and seated him at his right hand in the heavenly realms, far above all rule and authority, power and dominion, and every title that can be given, not only in the present age but also in the one to come. And God placed all things under his feet and appointed him to be head over everything for the church, which is his body, the fullness of him who fills everything in every way.”
Ephesians 2:8–10 “For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith – and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God – not by works, so that no one can boast. For we are God‘s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.“
Ephesians 2:13 “But now in Christ Jesus you who once were far away have been brought near through the blood of Christ.“
Philippians 1:6 “being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.”
Monday Jun 01, 2026
Monday Jun 01, 2026
Top Ten from 2025: #10 Domestic Violence and Abuse: Identifying and Healing from Abusive Relationships with Stacey Womack (Episode 263)
Mark 10:27 NKJV "But Jesus looked at them and said, “With men it is impossible, but not with God; for with God all things are possible.”
**Transcription of original episode** Domestic Violence and Abuse: Identifying and Healing from Abusive Relationships with Stacey Womack (Episode 263)
Questions and Topics We Discuss:
-
Will you teach us about the various types of abuse?
-
How do we respond appropriately and in a Christ-like manner when someone does report abuse?
-
What are your views for having biblical reasons for divorce, specifically as it relates to each type of abuse?
Stacey Womack is an award-winning expert in domestic violence from a faith-based perspective. She founded Abuse Recovery Ministry & Services (ARMS) in 1997 and she is a published author and sought after national speaker. Stacey developed and wrote the curriculum used for ARMS programs, including Her Journey for survivors of abuse and Mankind and Virtue for men and women who have used abusive behaviors. She has assisted tens of thousands of people in recovering from both the receiving and giving of abuse. Her passion has grown ARMS, a small grassroots organization, to now having an international reach.
Abuse Recovery Ministry & Services Website
Thank You to Our Sponsor: Grace Catering
Other Related Episodes on The Savvy Sauce:
146 Biblical Response to Emotionally Destructive Relationships with Leslie Vernick
148 Overcoming Evil with Good: Recognizing Spiritual Abuse with Dr. Diane Langberg
Connect with The Savvy Sauce on Facebook or Instagram or Our Website
Gospel Scripture: (all NIV)
Romans 3:23 “for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God,”
Romans 3:24 “and are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus.”
Romans 3:25 (a) “God presented him as a sacrifice of atonement, through faith in his blood.”
Hebrews 9:22 (b) “without the shedding of blood there is no forgiveness.”
Romans 5:8 “But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”
Romans 5:11 “Not only is this so, but we also rejoice in God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have now received reconciliation.”
John 3:16 “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.”
Romans 10:9 “That if you confess with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.”
Luke 15:10 says “In the same way, I tell you, there is rejoicing in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner who repents.”
Romans 8:1 “Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus”
Ephesians 1:13–14 “And you also were included in Christ when you heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation. Having believed, you were marked in him with a seal, the promised Holy Spirit, who is a deposit guaranteeing our inheritance until the redemption of those who are God’s possession- to the praise of his glory.”
Ephesians 1:15–23 “For this reason, ever since I heard about your faith in the Lord Jesus and your love for all the saints, I have not stopped giving thanks for you, remembering you in my prayers. I keep asking that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, may give you the spirit of wisdom and revelation, so that you may know him better. I pray also that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints, and his incomparably great power for us who believe. That power is like the working of his mighty strength, which he exerted in Christ when he raised him from the dead and seated him at his right hand in the heavenly realms, far above all rule and authority, power and dominion, and every title that can be given, not only in the present age but also in the one to come. And God placed all things under his feet and appointed him to be head over everything for the church, which is his body, the fullness of him who fills everything in every way.”
Ephesians 2:8–10 “For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith – and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God – not by works, so that no one can boast. For we are God‘s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.“
Ephesians 2:13 “But now in Christ Jesus you who once were far away have been brought near through the blood of Christ.“
Philippians 1:6 “being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.”
Monday May 25, 2026
Monday May 25, 2026
*Disclaimer: This topic is not intended for young listeners. Please use discretion.
Maximize PLEASURE in Marriage by Understanding Your Wife Better: An Interview with Francie Winslow (Episode 294)
Proverbs 5:19b NLT “May you always be captivated by her love.”
*Transcription Below*
Francie Winslow is a wife, mom, and intimacy evangelist. Three fun facts about Francie:
NO. 1
I saw a glimpse of Jesus’ heart one day as a 19-year-old, when I sat in a Thai brothel with girls my age. My friend and I bought two girls for the night so we could take them to dinner and shower them with REAL LOVE. It was there that I realized there was nothing more that I wanted than to give God all of me.
NO. 2
I got married when I was 20, after knowing my husband for only 10 months, and dating him for less than 5 months. Total craziness, I know, but so clearly the way God was leading me.
NO. 3
My husband and I have 6 kids, some with special needs and chronic health issues. So yeah, life right now is a bit crazy. But it never lacks for excitement as I learn about the things they really need and how God is working in me as I serve my family in every season.
Follow along with her @franciewinslow
Thank you to Our Sponsor: WinShape Marriage
Questions and Topics We Cover:
-
As moms, how do we go from “touched out” to “turned on”?
-
How can we realistically choose to still prioritize connection, right in the middle of the busy?
-
After diving into this topic for many years, will you share what you have learned about orgasm?
Other Savvy Sauce Episode Mentioned:
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Gospel Scripture: (all NIV)
Romans 3:23 “for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God,”
Romans 3:24 “and are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus.”
Romans 3:25 (a) “God presented him as a sacrifice of atonement, through faith in his blood.”
Hebrews 9:22 (b) “without the shedding of blood there is no forgiveness.”
Romans 5:8 “But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”
Romans 5:11 “Not only is this so, but we also rejoice in God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have now received reconciliation.”
John 3:16 “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.”
Romans 10:9 “That if you confess with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.”
Luke 15:10 says “In the same way, I tell you, there is rejoicing in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner who repents.”
Romans 8:1 “Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus”
Ephesians 1:13–14 “And you also were included in Christ when you heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation. Having believed, you were marked in him with a seal, the promised Holy Spirit, who is a deposit guaranteeing our inheritance until the redemption of those who are God’s possession- to the praise of his glory.”
Ephesians 1:15–23 “For this reason, ever since I heard about your faith in the Lord Jesus and your love for all the saints, I have not stopped giving thanks for you, remembering you in my prayers. I keep asking that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, may give you the spirit of wisdom and revelation, so that you may know him better. I pray also that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints, and his incomparably great power for us who believe. That power is like the working of his mighty strength, which he exerted in Christ when he raised him from the dead and seated him at his right hand in the heavenly realms, far above all rule and authority, power and dominion, and every title that can be given, not only in the present age but also in the one to come. And God placed all things under his feet and appointed him to be head over everything for the church, which is his body, the fullness of him who fills everything in every way.”
Ephesians 2:8–10 “For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith – and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God – not by works, so that no one can boast. For we are God‘s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.“
Ephesians 2:13 “But now in Christ Jesus you who once were far away have been brought near through the blood of Christ.“
Philippians 1:6 “being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.”
*Transcription*
Music: (0:00 – 0:11)
Laura Dugger: (0:12 - 2:05) Welcome to The Savvy Sauce, where we have practical chats for intentional living. I'm your host, Laura Dugger, and I'm so glad you're here.
Today's message is not intended for little ears. We'll be discussing some adult themes, and I want you to be aware before you listen to this message.
I'm thrilled to introduce you to our sponsor, WinShape Marriage. Their weekend marriage retreats will strengthen your marriage, while you enjoy the gorgeous setting, delicious food, and quality time with your spouse. To find out more, visit them online at winshapemarriage.org slash savvy.
I'm so excited to welcome back my returning guest, Francie Winslow. This conversation is going to be geared a little bit more toward understanding women, but I want you to know it's going to be very beneficial for both husbands and wives. I think husbands are going to appreciate getting a glimpse into how their wife's body works, and how they can love them better and serve them, even in the bedroom, so that they can enjoy a more fulfilling sex life with you as their spouse.
And for wives, I believe you're going to appreciate your feelings or your vague thoughts being put into words, because Francie has this way of articulating big ideas and making them bite-sized and understandable through all of her wisdom. So, not everything will apply to every wife, but I hope that everyone gets to find encouragement and enjoy a deeper sexual connection with your spouse after listening to this message and applying the wisdom.
Here's our chat. Welcome back to The Savvy Sauce, Francie.
Francie Winslow: (2:05 - 2:07) It's so good to be here, thanks for having me.
Laura Dugger: (2:07 - 2:20) Well, I'd love to begin with this idea of sharing sparks, because I was so intrigued the first time that I heard you teach on this topic. So, can you just explain more about this concept?
Francie Winslow: (2:22 - 5:56) Sure. Well, I think the idea really just came from this experience that my husband and I have had of knowing that, kind of in movies, it's portrayed that romance is just always fiery and passionate, and then you get married, you have kids, real life sets in, and it's like, hey, what does this actually look like to have a sex drive or to have a sense of passion in your marriage? And just for some context, because I think context helps, I have six kids from 18 down to 7, some pretty significant special needs, autoimmune diseases.
We've got a lot packed into our little home. And so, then you have a marriage that you want to stay on fire, you want to stay growing, but life is full, life is hard. And so, it's just easy to feel like the fire's just gone out.
And my husband and I work really hard on intentionality in our sex life, and we kind of came up with this idea called sparks, because sometimes that's all you have, is like a tiny spark, and that's actually okay. You think about a campfire, really what you need is you just need a spark, and then you just need to blow on it a little bit, and it turns into embers and then can turn into a fire. And so, we talk about rather than like, I've lost my sex drive, or do you have high sex drive or low drive, kind of releasing that concept and the heaviness that can be around that concept and just talk about cultivating sparks.
And a spark is essentially just a bit of desire, a bit of arousal, a bit of attraction, and we can kind of be so busy in our day that we might have a fleeting thought of, oh, it would be nice to be together tonight, and then you just forget about it. But rather than having a fleeting thought or a sensation in your body and letting it pass, we talk about sharing our sparks. And so, we'll, if I have a thought of, hey, I'm thinking about your biceps today, you know, like something playful and fun, and how much I am attracted to you, I'll text it to him or he'll text it to me.
Or if we're in person, we'll share our sparks by, you know, grabbing each other and pulling each other into the pantry for a second, having a little makeout or having a little, you know, quick, playful petting session, and we're just being playful for 30 seconds here, 30 seconds there in the middle of real life. And it's a way to say, hey, I'm bringing my little spark, you're bringing your little spark, and we're doing, honestly, the best we can in the, in the midst of real life in the midst of real hard to keep our fire going. And it is amazing the impact that that's had on our marriage, because it's just easy to assume, we're just too tired.
And then days go by weeks go by and, and really roommate, the roommate rut sets in or disconnection or even pain because you begin to miss each other. And it feels hard to get reconnected. So, we've found it to be really beneficial and simple just to say, okay, if I have a fleeting feeling in my body, a little sensation, a little attraction, a little arousal, a little desire, a little flirtatious energy, I'm just gonna express it as quickly or as sincerely as I can in that moment.
Like I said, sometimes it's through text, sometimes it would be a quick phone call, hey, you know, I'm thinking about you tonight, or, you know, playfully, like, what are you wearing, or like a text a little, a little invitation to connection later. And it's those little things that make a really big difference. And I would say the physical things, especially like grabbing each other, hey, we'll say to our kids, mom and dad need to have a quick conversation, like real serious, and then we'll go to the laundry room or go to the pantry.
And it's just those literal 30 second exchanges that are so small that make a really big difference in keeping the fire going in our marriage. And it's super meaningful, especially in these really busy seasons.
Laura Dugger: (5:58 - 6:21) I love that because you've also pointed out, I think, in the past that you don't buy into the whole who has high libido, who has lower drive. Rather, you see it as energy that can be fostered. And also, then just that connection of we have the spark, but then sharing it, it can ignite faster.
So, anything else you'd like to add about?
Francie Winslow: (6:22 - 9:35) Yeah, I think that's good to bring it up. I mean, a spark is like a bit of energy. And if you think about like a spark of fire, like that creates something and a spark of desire in your marriage, or a tiny spark of arousal is sexual energy.
And so, I think of it as how do I grow sexual energy. And that, ironically, has to be a really intentional thing. It has to be like, I think about being with my husband, I actually spend time, maybe even my planner thinking, okay, I'd like to have sex, we'd like to have sex at some point this week, what day would be best where I'd have the most energy or where he would be, you know, not as stressed out because he had a lighter workday or maybe not have to early morning, you think about your week, your time, in terms of energy. And when you think about sexual energy, when we might have the most sexual energy or creating sexual energy.
And so, we've realized that we came to that point of kind of forsaking the high drive and low drive identities, because I think they can become Oh, he's the high, I'm the low, or vice versa. And that can feel heavy. And it can feel like pressure, like I feel ashamed, because I'm low, he feels disappointed, because he's high, whatever it might be.
And that can switch for men and women as well. And rather than seeing it as that, and maybe we've just like, life has beat us up. So, neither of us have a high drive at this point.
And but yet, we still have a very active sex life without that clinging to who's high and who's low, because we're both committed to growing our sexual energy. And so for me, that looks like thinking about being with him, it looks like tuning into my body in a sensuous way, as a tired mom, and that looks like holding my cup of coffee or cup of tea intentionally and like feeling sensation in the everyday moments from wafts of you know, steam coming from my coffee to the sunlight on my face to washing in the shower, I can actually realize that I've had years where I will do the whole shower routine and not feel a thing like I didn't even notice sensation from shampoo or from the loofah or from lotion, I just did it robotically to get through the chore of caring for my body. And I've switched really to think of it as being paying attention to my body paying attention to sensation paying attention to how nice it feels to wash my face with a soap that smells good. And it's those things of going slow and being embodied and paying attention to my body and sensations that does transfer over to help me remember, oh, I want to foster awareness of my body.
And being aware of my body is a way of fostering sexual energy, because I'm thinking about how things feel. And I'm thinking about my body and how it's responding to touch. And then that helps me honestly feel more when my husband touches me.
So, we can talk about that later about the issue of kind of feeling numb in our bodies. But I think that that is a reality for marriage later on is that we can become numb in our sex life, because we're just busy, and we're tired, and things are routine, and we're kind of bored. And so fostering sexual energy, getting out of our heads and into our bodies, thinking about our times together, growing our skills, sexually learning about learning about sex, learning about anatomy, all of those things are ways to grow sexual energy, as well as just the playfulness of the sparks and, you know, pulling each other into the pantry and having a quick makeout session, those kinds of things.
Laura Dugger: (9:36 - 10:53) I love those practical examples. And I think you're right; we should get to numbing or what it feels like maybe later on in marriage. But let's go back to Newlyweds or especially new moms, because just for all of marriage, sexual connection is going to cement us together.
So, of course, the enemy of our soul is going to want to do anything at every stage to make us too busy, too distracted, to have that intimate connection. And many times, new parents have things that make it difficult and challenging to connect. But it's not like it gets any easier, because then other difficulties are going to come in, whether that's raising older children or medical issues that come in or perimenopause and menopause.
So, there are always going to be obstacles. But I want us to be wise, whatever season we're in right now, to cultivate our delight and connection in every season. So, I don't know about you, Francie, but the most common phrase I've heard new moms tell me is, I've had people touching me all day.
I don't want him touching me at night. And I'd love for you to offer us a healthier narrative.
Francie Winslow: (10:54 - 14:47) Yeah. Well, I don't get to speak in person very often because of my commitment to be really invested at home with my kids. But I am speaking a few times this spring to some moms’ groups.
And the theme is from touched out to turned on. So, I just want to affirm, if anybody is feeling that they are for sure not alone. I hear it all the time as well.
And there is this dynamic of I'm so touched out; I don't want to be touched anymore. And the thing I've learned in understanding our bodies, understanding sexuality, and especially female sexuality is that we are not only coming to the table with our bodies and our anatomy, we're coming with our nervous systems. And so there is this thing at play where we have been having stimulation come at us all day through media, through our phones, through needs of others, and we are touched out.
And another word for that would be overstimulated. And so, I would say you're not broken, you're not hopeless, you're overstimulated, and you're exhausted. And it is very hard for a woman to come into a place of arousal or desire from that place of what's probably fight or flight, that feeling of I just can't be touched anymore.
I am so overwhelmed. I feel like this bubbling over of anxiety or a place of like shut down and disconnected, I want to withdraw. And so those are two nervous system states that we often go in when we are overdone, overcooked, too much has been coming at us.
And so, when we're in that place, and we're feeling overstimulated, and like, I don't want to be touched, I would say the invitation is simply to take a minute and realize, oh, I'm not broken. I'm not actually as unavailable, maybe as I think I need to become available to myself for a minute, I need to reset, I need to remember that my body needs rest in order to connect and communicate that rather than it being like, oh, don't touch me, I've been touched out. And it looks like feels like rejection.
It's more of an invitation to care for yourself, knowing that, oh, in order to be available for connection, I need to see it not as another chore, but a place to be nourished and a place to reconnect to my own body. And that sexuality was meant to be a place of nourishment, and care and rejuvenation, not just another need to be meeting. And so, I think that's the other mindset shift is we need a minute to rest, reconnect to our bodies, maybe a shower, maybe a bath, a minute to say, okay, I'm very overstimulated, I do need a second.
And then to see that. And this is a call out to the husbands to like your job is to love your wife so well that she comes out of a sexual experience nourished. And if that's not happening in your marriage, know that that's actually the design of sexuality.
And it might take some communication and work to switch our mindset. Because a lot of times we've been raised with a mindset that maybe X is a man's need. And another thing we have to do as wives, but that's actually a real huge lie.
It's not about a man's need. It's about connection. And it's about nourishment.
And it's about fully giving ourselves to one another and being cared for. And so what amazes me is the power of sexuality, even orgasm release, pleasure to be able to wash out a woman's nervous system and like a bath like oof, I got reset, I got this sense of the rush of the sexual hormones, the serotonin and the oxytocin and this place of deep connection is God's design for us. And so having this flip a mindset of it's not another need I have to meet, but it's actually a nourishing gift to me to get into my body to receive pleasure.
There is a transition I think we need to give ourselves grace for to like, okay, I might want to shower and I might want to get out of my head and back into my body a little bit, but it really was designed to be a gift. And so that's, that's kind of my invitation is for women to receive it as a space that should be nourishing and can be nourishing and actually really healthy for her mind, body and spirit, even in tired seasons.
Laura Dugger: (14:48 - 15:10) I appreciate what you said there, because you're flipping it from all day, maybe we are receiving very unpleasant touch. But this is a different type of very pleasant touch to be receiving, or we've been giving all day. This is the refilling, nourishing.
And I think if we change our minds first, then our body can follow.
Francie Winslow: (15:10 - 16:10) And there is an element to I think, creating an environment that does feel safe to let go. Because I think if you think about moms, they're giving all day, they've got the babies nearby, the monitors on, you know, the laundry piles huge, like there's all these distractions, and it doesn't actually feel like that safe of an environment to be nourished. And so, I would say even take that into consideration of what would make sexual experiences with your husband feel nourishing to you.
And it might mean a really nice candle is lit or just a few things to change the environment to signal to your nervous system. Oh, yeah, this is a time of nourishment, not just okay, now I've got to switch, you know, here and meet another need. But this is a time to be beautiful.
I would maybe put a noisemaker on for you, you know, to drown out some of the feeling that you're going to be heard, or you might wake up the baby, make sure the door is locked. Just take a minute to feel like you're giving yourself a gift in that time as well. And sometimes that can help to kind of quiet the environment to make it feel like a place where you want to let go and you really want to receive.
Laura Dugger: (16:11 - 16:51) That's good. And the husbands can be so participatory with this, even that they have so much strength and usually more energy and sex gives them energy. So, if they can find creative ways to, I think, separate her as much as possible from mom to lover.
So, I mean, people are aware of these like put if the husband does the bedtime bath routine or can finish the dishes or just do those physically taxing tasks so that she can have that transition time. I think there are just endless ways to be creative. And I'm assuming husbands would be so motivated to love and serve their wife that way.
Francie Winslow: (16:52 - 17:08) Yeah, yeah, I think it's definitely a reality to think, okay, what does it look like for us both to step forward and really love each other? Well, and that will just probably be different for every couple but being able to know that you can use your voice and say that, hey, I really want to connect this would help me.
Laura Dugger: (17:09 - 17:25) That's good. So, we've addressed that obstacle then of physical touch. But let's also talk about the constant noise in our minds as women.
So, how can we move from getting stuck in our head to waking up our body?
Francie Winslow: (17:26 - 21:44) Yeah, well, I mentioned it a little bit earlier. But I'll know for for me, I feel if I'm not very purposeful in the way that I take in technology and take in my phone, I can easily just live in a state of perpetual kind of humming anxiety, and not really know why. I mean, apart from like the parts of life that are really hard, and paying attention to, okay, what am I allowing in?
What am I allowing to have access to me? What am I meditating on? How much white space?
Am I giving my heart or am I like listening to a podcast 24 hours a day, or, you know, constantly having stuff in versus creating space for quiet in my body. And in my heart, just even to hear myself breathe, or to sit with some instrumental music and just be for a and not be performing or producing or consuming something. That's been a big thing for my nervous system, honestly, in that context.
But I think the other thing that I mentioned earlier was our five senses. And I talked to women all the time who say I'm struggling with pleasure, I'm struggling with orgasm, I don't feel a whole lot. And there's a couple reasons we don't.
But one of the reasons is we live so much in our head, with all the things we have to think about our to do list that never ends the and I think the part of having a phone is that the Instacart is there, the Amazon is there, the emails from the school are there, it's just always something that we need to be thinking about or processing. And that can cause us to live so much in our heads that we kind of live from our, our head up our neck up, and we neglect the fact that we have an entire body. And so I often be reminding myself, get out of your head and into your body feel, feel even just like your belly exhaling when you breathe, like that's so small, but if you can slow down enough to take five slow deep breaths, you'll feel your heart rate go down, you'll feel the sense of awareness even of God's presence of the sense that He's with you the sense that you know, you can navigate whatever you need to with peace. And so, I do a lot of things like take a walk without my phone. I'll sit on my back porch even just to sit in the sun for a minute to let the sun on my body and I'm always aware at this point, I want to feel things in my body because God gave us five senses to be present to the moment to be present to our kids to be present to Him.
There's that classic book, Brother Lawrence, the practice of the presence of God. And it's this practicing awareness of God's nearness. And it's a practice.
And not to make a leap that makes two people, people feel too uncomfortable, but to practice pleasure is a thing to get out of your head and into the sense of awareness in your day of sensation, a beauty of love of the presence of your kids, their smiles, their faces, and then in pleasure to be super aware of the presence of your husband, of your own self with him of the love that you're having of the feelings you're having in your body.
And the noise that comes at us all day basically robs us of that awareness. And so, I think that the world's system of operating right now is maybe intentionally unintentionally, I'm not sure, bent on making us numb to God, to each other, to ourselves, to our souls, and to true genuine connection. And so, I think it's a real fight for me to live connected to myself, to God, to others.
And what does it look like to really be present? And that's actually such a unique key to pleasure, to sexual pleasure that we wouldn't necessarily connect. We would think it's about like, oh, tips or positions, but it's actually about becoming present.
And the noise coming at us tries to rob us of that presence, that awareness. And so, I think it's a very integrated conversation, whether it's talking about spiritual intimacy, sexual intimacy, obviously friendship, wherever we're trying to connect with someone or God, but the call is to be present and embodied. And that's what Jesus was.
He was an embodiment of God. And He came to actually connect in a genuine face-to-face way. And yeah, so I think of when I think of the noise of my phone, the noise coming at us all the time, it's just draining of my energy, of my sexual energy, of my emotional energy, on all the levels.
And it's constantly a reminder of God saying, “that's not your design. Your design was connection and presence and how that hits all the markers in all the relationships.”
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Getting out of our mind, getting into our body, how you said paying attention to your coffee and those five senses outside the bedroom, then when you're inside the bedroom, I remember Dr. Clifford and Joyce Penner just saying, thank God for every tingly feeling that you get. I think you're more aware of your body in those times of intimate connection if you're practicing that outside of it, which is what you're advising. I guess one other super practical tip, I love it that a friend years ago told me the way she transitioned from work into sexual connection with her husband, they invested in a massage table. She would get 20 minutes or whatever on the table and he would just relax her head to toe and then they enjoyed that connection so much more.
Francie Winslow: (24:27 - 28:23) Absolutely. Yeah, there's different types of touch. I talk about this in one of my podcasts, but there's therapeutic touch, which is like, “hey, I think I need a foot rub. I just need to relax.”
Then there's nurturing touch. I will walk up a lot of times to my husband and just stand there and that signal of like, just hold me.
I just need to be touched in that way, not groped. I don't even need to be playfully touched. I just need to be secure and held.
Sometimes that's what we need to let go and let our nervous systems calm down. I will say even like a hug for 30 seconds, you can feel your body, hug until you feel yourself let go because you feel yourself soften. Noticing the sensations of, Wyatt and I went on a date the other day and I could feel myself.
I was just noticing the sensations of my body and I'm like, I'm gripping. I'm gripping everything. That's not a great way to go into a date.
Talking through like, okay, what is it that my body is gripping onto? It's so much stress, so much pressure. Then we ended up having a great date, but I was able to name those things like, what is my body needing?
What am I feeling? Where am I now? That just comes from awareness, and it comes from practicing being present to what's happening in my body, in my nervous system and what do I need?
There's therapeutic touch, nurturing touch. There's obviously playful touch like tickling or just being flirtatious. Then there's sexual touch.
There's a wide range of what sexual expression and nice and gentle touch can look like that can open you up. I think getting out of your head and into your body and not being afraid of your body. I think as Christian women, we were raised with a real fear of our bodies and a real fear of pleasure.
I know I was feeling like the word pleasure was even a really dirty word. It wasn't something I should be thinking about. It wasn't something that I had permission to even explore because it had a real sense of negative connotation to it.
God's just really set me free from that because I'm realizing it's my design. There are countless pleasure zones all over my body by his good design, by his orchestration. He made my body.
There's not one part of my body he's ashamed of, and I don't need to be either. Realizing that God did make the female body with way more than double the capacity for pleasure than a male body has. That's a gift for us.
It's a gift for our emotions. It's a gift for our mental health. It's a gift for our creativity.
You said men get more energy from sex, but actually, it's like when a woman really let’s go and she really let’s go because we have a hard time letting go. That doesn't mean crazy. It just really means you turn off your brain, and you really receive.
There is a restart that happens. Usually, creativity does flow because it's the sense of different parts of your brain are reactivated and you are nourished. Sexuality was meant to be a creative act in procreation, but also in energetic movement through your body of what love creates.
Love multiplies. Love grows. Not being afraid of our bodies, not being afraid of feeling, but praising God, like the penner said for every tingle.
I'll say in terms of awareness in the bedroom, if you're having trouble feeling or you're having trouble feeling pleasure or reaching orgasm, there's three tips that I've heard that I really like is breath, breathing in that moment, coming back to your breath because a lot of times we can be intimate and still be in our heads. Our bodies are there, but our minds are somewhere else. We're thinking about the grocery list or thinking about why am I taking so long or is he having fun or do I look not good?
Do I not look good to him? Where our brains are stuck in a lot of different places and getting out of our head back into our body with breath. Slowing down, really conscious, slow breathing, movement, going back and forth, and then vocalization, like using a moan or a hum or a yes.
Those three things are often helping you get back in your body, helping bring your attention back to sensation and can enhance the moment through paying attention in those ways.
Laura Dugger: (28:24 - 28:59) Those are so good. The only one I would add, I'm sure you would incorporate this as well, is prayer. I've heard a wife tell me before that she will pray every time they come together, whether she's praying just in her mind, not even out loud with her husband, but just, Lord, help me experience orgasm or help us to enjoy this time or whatever the prayer is.
You also brought up playful touch then. Can you just unpack why play is so powerful as it relates to our sex life?
Francie Winslow: (29:01 - 30:36) Well, I think that we can get so serious in life and we can get so exhausted and overwhelmed and then sex can become a task, or we just are now stressed about it. For us, quite simply put, playfulness has just been an invitation to revitalize our connection and to remember that we don't have to take things so seriously. I think our playfulness has come through even just like silly text messages.
I say silly, but they're intimate, they're playful, they're between us. Little things that we've done, like you have certain names for certain positions and so you can speak in code and that can be a fun way to connect where nobody else knows what you're talking about, but you're sharing connection. Getting your heart rate up together, things like playing literally, like playing a sport, exercising together, having playful times together outside of the bedroom is so powerful.
Getting your heart rate up together is actually a real libido booster. If you go work out, you just feel this energy together in general or going on a walk, we like to do that. By the time you come back from your walk, if you've walked briskly, you feel this sense of connection and a little bit more drive.
You can even make games like, hey, whenever I wear this necklace, it's me giving you a little bedroom wink. We've done that where we have little signs to each other that, hey, I'm thinking about you, I'm so into you, see this necklace I'm wearing. There's just so many playful ways that you can connect that remind you, oh yeah, we're on each other's teams, we're for each other.
This is not a have to, this is a get to, and this is a special place just for us to really build the connection.
Laura Dugger: (30:37 - 30:52) One step further then with that play and movement, I've heard you talk about for females, nonlinear movement of our body. Can you share about how that, again, outside the bedroom can impact inside the bedroom?
Francie Winslow: (30:52 - 35:31) Yeah. I have a membership community called The Circle, and we talk about this a lot because it's a bit like rewiring, especially Christian women's minds to connect to their bodies in a genuine way. Our culture in general has raised us to not embrace the masculine but requires us to be masculine in a lot of ways, just with how what's required is getting stuff done, standing in line, standing in traffic.
It's very much task-oriented, get stuff done, stay busy. The female design is much more nonlinear. It's much more creative.
It's much more life-giving than just task and just to-do list all day. When we stay in that do, do, do, and go, go, go mode, we lose our ability to flow and to be playful as women. I know when I am in task mode all day, I feel rigid rather than open.
By God's design, the female body itself speaks of curviness. It speaks of receptivity and openness, but sometimes in our structured lives that we lead where we have to get stuff done, we close off that space through stress and through just this response of rigidity and overwhelm. Movement is a great way to loosen up, to open up to access playfulness as a woman.
I've heard people call it nonlinear movement, and I think that's great because literally you don't have to be a good dancer, but it's just begin moving. I've taught in this membership group that I have just practical ways. We practice and we laugh and we talk about how it's going, but it's really creating new neural pathways in our own brains, new habits, new ways of embodying our own selves in our lives that remind us of who we are and help us access a playfulness.
What that looks like for me is I can just be brushing my teeth, and I'll just do figure eights with my hips. That's just nonlinear movement, and it's just a way to move my body and be like, oh, yeah. It's like doing shoulder rolls.
You're like, oh, I didn't know I was so tense. I didn't know I was gripping. I didn't know my posture was all hunched over because I've just been tense all day, and our bodies are holding on to that tension.
Nonlinear movement is playful. It's also a way to release tension. It's also a way to remember, oh, yeah, I'm a woman, and I have hips, and it's fun to move.
I'm not even that great of a dancer. I don't feel super sexy when I move, but then I remember I can be playful, and it kind of unlocks another layer of our sensuality and our beauty and helps us remember that we are lovely and attractive and desirable and not just kind of to-do list on stairways walking around getting stuff done. Nonlinear movement can look like a lot of things.
I've spent my 39th year, I decided on my birthday, I'd been thinking, reading, praying a lot about it, but my 39th year, I decided I'm going to befriend my body this year. I did things that whole year, like nonlinear movement, like just cultivating pleasure in my body in a lot of different ways to really befriend and honor my body and call it good, like God called it, because I had lived for so long kind of at a distance from my body and afraid of my body and afraid of, honestly, femininity in a way because I didn't know how to grid that, and I didn't know what it looked like to be holy and to be integrated, to be holy and to be an alive sexual woman. It just kind of seemed like I needed to shut most of it off, and God's been doing a healing work in me for the last several years, and that's part of it, is just simple things like dancing in my room when nobody's looking, turning on music that doesn't have to have like a certain lyric or notion to it, but I just get to move, and there's something about moving our bodies where we get to really let go of a lot and remember the design that we have for creativity and beauty, and yeah, that's just a fun way to do it, but a little practical is trying figure eights while you're doing your toothbrushing or stirring your spaghetti.
A funny one that makes me laugh and makes everybody laugh when I have them do it is spelling your name with your hips, and so you just realize, oh, oh my gosh, you know, you're moving your hips in all sorts of directions, but by the time you finish, you feel more open, and you feel more alive and awake in your body, and I think, I know I'll speak for me, I feel many days if I'm not intentional very unalive in my body because I just am exhausted, but it's those intentional places of befriending our bodies, paying attention, and honoring our beautiful bodies allows us to enjoy it more, being a woman, being a wife, being present, and it sure does make it a lot more fun to participate in it rather than just feel like life is happening to us all the time.
Laura Dugger: (35:32 - 35:59) Okay, and then speaking of that, life happening to us all the time, we talked about maybe newlyweds or new parents, but as we transition into middle age, maybe we're parenting older children at that point, or we're assisting with aging parents, or facing demands with work or our health. How can we realistically still choose to prioritize connection right in the middle of busy?
Francie Winslow: (35:59 - 36:01) Yeah, you mean with our spouses?
Laura Dugger: (36:02 - 36:02) Yes.
Francie Winslow: (36:02 - 41:05) Yeah, yeah. Well, I think it, for us, I'll say it comes from really just seeing it as a priority. It's one of our biggest rocks, you know, like when you have a jar, and you have rocks, and you only have so much room, you have to figure out what are your biggest rocks, and intimacy together is for sure one of our biggest rocks because we see what we've called, I've called forever the ripple effect of sex, that there is a ripple effect that comes from intimacy and connection, I think by God's design, and it's the same with our connection with God, that there is a ripple effect that comes from our connection with God. When we're connected and we're growing with God, other things benefit, right?
We see it in our ability to show up as parents, and at work, we see the ripple effect of intimacy, and I'll say the same thing mirrors in marriage, that there is a profound ripple effect from sexual intimacy specifically, and there's other forms of intimacy in marriage that are really important, but sexual intimacy is the only type of intimacy that is shared in marriage alone, and so you can have deep friendships, and partnerships, and ministry, and prayer teams, and, you know, small group leaders meetings, and you can have growth, and closeness with a lot of types of people and groups, but sexual intimacy is the full giving of yourself, naked, unashamed, fully to another, and it's a real place of vulnerability, and I think as we're aging, as I'm beginning perimenopause, as we have almost, we're launching our first kids into college, we've got a bunch of special needs younger kids, what I'm realizing is I don't just need to have sex because it's good for our marriage, we need it because it's good for us. We really need it for our own nervous systems.
We need it for comfort, and for grief, and for trauma processing, and for the bonding of us together, because we're clinging to each other as seasons change, and as dark seasons are on us, it's almost like this refuge that God has given us, and so I think seeing sexual intimacy as a really deep place of provision, not just, oh, it's something we need to do, like exercising, because it's good for us. It is, but there is a deeper invitation to the meaning, and the power of oneness, and union, which is, again, that reflection of our union with God, and it's a gift for our bodies, our nervous systems, in changing seasons as well.
It's a real place of connection that we need, and so I think in terms of prioritizing it, it's one of our big rocks, and so this point, 20 years in, it's not unusual for us to have intimacy many times every day of the week. I guess I just say that as our marriage is 20 years in, and it's more deep, and more beautiful, and more pleasurable, and more meaningful than ever, and in my changing body, in our tiredness, I feel more confident, and more awake to my body than ever, and I love that, that I feel more confident than I did when I was 20, right? I feel more pleasure, because we know each other more, and we've leaned in to learn each other, and we've wept together, and we've grieved together, and we've gotten lost together, like we've had the highs and the lows, and that's, I think I want to cast that out as vision for young marriages, like it's worth it to keep growing, it's worth it to lean in, it's worth it to know each other, and to continue to press on together, because there's deep riches in that intimacy, and for friends who are in the older years, I'm walking with women right now who've been married 35 years, and they're waking up to their best marriage ever, because they're waking up to their bodies, and they might be 60 years old, but they're finally confronting the shame that's held back, they're finally confronting the lies about pleasure, and about sex being for a man only, and they're realizing that they have an entire body to get to know, and to share in marriage, and it's like a whole new territory that they're encountering, and there's freedom and healing happening, because they've had to have conversations that are hard, but actually unearth things that need to be healed, and I think that's the other bit of sexual intimacy that doesn't often get talked about, is that sexual intimacy is so intimate, it does not occur without the heart being present, and so if hard things come up in sex, it's usually because hard things need to come up, and vulnerability and intimacy requires, intimacy requires vulnerability, and that vulnerability is the space for the hard things to come up, and then in the presence of God, through prayer, through love, you address those, it might be hard, it might be painful, and then there's space to say, hey, let's work through that, let's lean in, let's keep loving each other, find help, and it continues to grow the marriage deeper, and so that's what I've found in our marriage, and with women I'm walking with, is that it's not always an easy uphill, you know, like ascent, but it's highs and lows, but over time, throughout the seasons, prioritizing oneness, prioritizing sexual communication, prioritizing time together, to practice pleasure, getting to know each other, those are the spaces where actually I've seen God do a lot of healing.
Laura Dugger: (41:07 - 42:40) I want to make sure that you're up to date with our latest news. We have a new website. You can visit thesavvysauce.com and see all of the latest updates. You may remember Francie Heinrichson from episode 132, where we talked about pursuing our God-given dreams. She is the amazing businesswoman who has carefully designed a brand-new website for Savvy Sauce Charities, and we are thrilled with the final product, so I hope you check it out. There you're going to find all of our podcasts, now with show notes and transcriptions listed, a scrapbook of various previous guests, and an easy place to join our email list to receive monthly encouragement and questions to ask your loved ones so that you can have your own practical chats for intentional living.
You will also be able to access our donation button or our mailing address for sending checks that are tax-deductible so that you can support the work of Savvy Sauce Charities and help us continue to reach the nations with the good news of Jesus Christ. So, make sure you visit thesavvysauce.com.
Well, and even with you sharing how often you're connecting, that requires saying no to some other, probably sometimes good things, too.
Are there any practical examples you have, again, of what you and Wyatt have not prioritized in order to give this time and space?
Francie Winslow: (42:41 - 45:06) Yeah, I mean, I don't want to put ourselves on a pedestal or sound so radical, but we really try to limit screen time and phones a lot. I would say my husband is very radical with this. He really is never on his phone and makes it a point to not be, and I appreciate that in the way he leads in our family.
I feel like I'm doing stuff that needs to be done on my phone, and I can easily get pulled into scrolling, but that's been a big thing we say no to. We just really don't do that in our beds. We don't bring it into our bedrooms.
We don't, because we just see that it can easily be like it just pulls us away from each other, and so that's kind of a non-thing, which I think is a big culture shifter that phone is not a part of our marriage or our time in the evenings. And yeah, with a lot of kids, we definitely have to prioritize. We do hotel dates quite frequently, which I can't remember if I've talked to you about or not, but that's been a huge gift in busy seasons of parenting.
We scoot away to a local hotel for just a day, not even an overnight. We'll do like a long date, like maybe a four-hour stretch, and what that really gives us in terms of not just quantity, because it's not as much quantity, it's the quality of connection that we found, and being in a hotel room for four hours or so, we really get to let go and focus. And so, I think that that's a big part of it is, oh, it's not just about like checking the box, but it's really letting go together and learning.
And those have been some of the hours we've spent together. It's like learning what feels good, learning how to linger with each other, learning how to go slow and not be rushed, learning how to communicate and learning how to care for one another. We'll do like king treatment or queen treatment, where you spend 20 minutes on one person, and then the other person gets 20 minutes, and you take turns, and it's just this exchange of care that doesn't happen in a busy life.
But we found that sneaking away to do that every couple of weeks has been a real treat to figure out how to prioritize. But yeah, definitely saying no to... And I mean, the truth is, it doesn't take that long to connect.
So, it's not like you have to say no to massive things, but I think it's saying yes to putting your energy towards each other and not spending your energy completely on every other thing except your marriage.
Laura Dugger: (45:07 - 45:25) Okay, well said. And maybe somebody's hearing this and they're not there right now. So, regardless of whatever season of marriage they're in, how can they revive a sex life that's been asleep or has become complacent?
Francie Winslow: (45:25 - 46:44) Yeah. Well, I think if it's a place where you are desiring and you are the one desiring, I think it's saying, hey, I really desire connection. What would it look like if we tried this again, if we leaned in?
And if hopefully there's a sense of, yeah, I miss you too. I miss us too. And if not, it's a space where you can grow in your own understanding of your body, how your body works, and you can continue to learn how your spouse's body works and try to love them even without making a big plan, but just showing up more skills or showing up with more investment at times can communicate, hey, I'm showing up with a little bit more knowledge and I'm enjoying it more.
Because I think when you learn a little bit more, you can receive more, you can be more present. And sometimes just working on you and your mindset can have a trickle-down effect. But I think definitely an invitation to say, hey, we're busy and I value you and I value us and I just want more connection.
What does that look like? Yeah, I think it definitely takes two. It takes two to really grow, to be honest.
And so, I think it can be a place where even that can be a hard conversation that has the potential to unearth, hey, are we too busy? It does require a sense of investment. And sometimes that can require conversations.
Laura Dugger: (46:45 - 46:56) Francie, also, you are a wealth of knowledge. You've studied this topic for years; you've brought it before the Lord. So, what can you share with us that you've learned specifically about orgasm?
Francie Winslow: (46:57 - 50:30) So, orgasm for anybody who is brand new is simply like a fast contraction of your muscles in your pelvic floor and around the nerve endings that are linked to pleasure sensors in your brain. And so, when those contract really fast, it feels like a whoosh or a powerful punch of pleasure, and it brings tingles and contractions, and it feels great. So, people come to me a lot.
They're like, I can't have an orgasm. And so one of the biggest keys to having an orgasm, again, is understanding your body and not expecting your body to work like a man's body, not expecting it to just automatically work by penetration, which is a lot of times what men think is if you just have intercourse, you should have an orgasm. But a woman's body is much more intricate, and she has a clitoral structure kind of hidden behind her external anatomy.
So, you can't see it all, all the time. I do have one here. I have other models, but this is a clitoris.
And so, this is hidden behind your outside vaginal tissues. And so, but this is all pleasure anatomy. And so, your clitoris has over 10,000 nerve endings and that is over double what a man's penis has.
We're maybe afraid to touch our bodies, but this is good in God's design, and it is that the clitoris is stimulated. And so, it can be manually, you can touch it, your husband can touch it. Sometimes before sex, you can have orgasms or even during, definitely during, but that comes with stimulation.
And so I think sometimes women think I just, it should happen automatically, but it happens through blood flow to your tissues, to your whole body really, because your whole body becomes kind of alive with pleasure, but the blood flow allows engorgement of all of this tissue, which allows it to feel better and allows it to feel pleasure. And so, a clitoris, a clitoral orgasm is one type of orgasms, but there's lots of types of orgasms that your body can experience with also a female superpower. And it happens when we're able to let go and we're able to actually feel, which comes back to our earlier conversation of being awake in our bodies and aware of sensation and connected to feeling in our body and connected to awareness.
And so, orgasm is a beautiful gift from God. There's many types of orgasms. Women can have multiple orgasms.
That means can peak over and over and over again, not just once, but the bottom line is when God created, he created male and female, but he created woman last. And it seems like when you look at it metaphorically, that woman is like the exclamation point of beauty and pleasure. She was like the final, yes, she has double the amount of pleasure capacity than a man does.
And I think it's because it delights God that women are fully alive in their bodies. And so, I do have a pleasure masterclass on my website because it took me and wound up and afraid of my own body, but this is God's design and he's not afraid or ashamed of our bodies. And the more we understand how God designed our bodies, the more we can really celebrate his design.
And to me, that's worshipful. And it's honoring to him as our creator, because he made us wonderfully, right? And the Psalm says that my soul knows well, and it's like this catching up.
He made us wonderfully. Do we believe it? And part of is education and understanding that our bodies are good.
So, orgasm is a great gift, definitely one worth exploring and learning.
Laura Dugger: (50:31 - 50:41) It's so wonderful, Francie. And are there any other practical ways that we can maximize pleasure in our marriage, both for husbands or wives?
Francie Winslow: (50:43 - 53:59) Yeah, I think this sounds a little bit silly, but practicing pleasure is a real thing. We often feel like I should just know how to do it. It should just work, but it takes communication and it takes time.
And going back to awareness, it takes us being able to understand our bodies. And so, I know the pinners recommend this as well. It might push some people's buttons, but it's exploring your own body.
You have to know your body to share it well. It's a really awkward and uncomfortable thing to not know what's down there and then supposed to be giving it away to your husband. That's I think a sin against ourselves, to be honest, because we are essentially violating ourselves if we don't even have connection to ourselves.
And then we're trying to give it away and expecting our bodies to express or experience something. We have to be embodied, connected to loving, blessing, and agreeing with the fact that our bodies are good. And that doesn't happen unless we know our bodies.
And so, I would say that the pivotal thing for me and many women, and it might make people feel uncomfortable, is you must know your body. You must experience your body. You must believe it's good.
And in order to be able to share it genuinely without shame, because shame is the biggest pleasure killer. And shame is straight from hell, straight from the enemy in the garden that they were originally naked and unashamed. And in comes the deceiver and the accuser of God's children.
And they suddenly become aware of their nakedness and covered in shame and they start hiding. And so, God has an invitation to us to release shame in our sexuality as we bring our sexuality into his light, into the light of his word, into his presence. And part of that is for me, it was definitely realizing my body is good.
So, spending time with your own body, getting to know what feels good for the sake of being able to share it with your husband is a big breakthrough point for a lot of women. And even confronting like, oh, when I'm alone with my body, I actually feel so much shame. Talk to God about that.
God, do you feel ashamed of my body? Is it a shame that I'm sitting here with my body? Can I look at my body in the mirror and actually say, thank you, God, for this beautiful body?
Can I take a mirror down there and explore my body and have joy rather than shame? And if we can't have joy and if we only have shame, that's okay. That's just an invitation to healing.
And so that's what I mean when I say sexuality is also this invitation to healing because shame is so tightly wound around the conversation and shame is the opposite of what Christ died for. He died that we would be free and that it's not this selfish freedom. It's this life-giving freedom where love can really be shared and expressed.
So, I would say that the number one thing is that women love and know their bodies and then can share them from that place of sharing a gift that they have actually received first. Because until we receive the gift, it's an awkward thing to try to give it away. And I think our husbands are hopefully wanting and willing to learn too.
And so, it can be a joint effort that we learn about our bodies together, that we discover our bodies together, learn how to communicate and learn how to love each other well in a place of joy and care. Because that, I think, is a beautiful space of worship to God.
Laura Dugger: (54:01 - 54:43) And just to echo what you said, I think it was Dr. Jennifer Kanzen who shared the same sentiment of women, it's really hard to see your private parts. So, get a handheld mirror and look and see what every part is and be aware on your body. I also want to make sure people aren't hearing what you're not saying.
And so, I don't want to put words in your mouth, but I don't hear you saying, be selfish and masturbate to take away time from you and your spouse being together. You're saying, learn your body and your parts so that you and or be together with your spouse while you're doing this so that you can both experience greater pleasure. Is that right?
Francie Winslow: (54:43 - 56:15) Exactly. But what I'm not saying is satisfy yourself apart from your husband and then don't ever connect. Nobody wants that.
That's not what we're talking about. We're talking about building sexual intimacy in your marriage and sexual healing in your journey as a woman who wants to be integrated. And so, yeah, I think there could be a whole conversation on this because it can be a hot button.
And I'm glad you're willing to go there because we need honesty. We need our daughters to be able to have this sort of conversation with us and not feel like there's things that we just need to do in secret. Because I think anything you feel like I have to have this as a secret, that's also like, ah, like, let's talk about it.
And so, what I call self-cultivation is not a secret. And it's something you share with your spouse. And it's something that, hey, I want to get to know my body.
And that's actually in my journey. My husband was like, hey, you need to get to know your body. I bless you to like have some alone time because you're so wound up in shame.
You don't even know. You can't even feel. And so, it really, it was rooted in our experience as him commissioning me basically to befriend my body.
And I think that that's, it's a different paradigm, but I appreciate the many sex therapists who are believers that agree with that menu, that idea of you have to experiment and explore to know how to genuinely articulate what you want rather than just laying there and assuming your husband can read your mind. And so, it's, again, a place of communication and saying, hey, this is where I'm at. Is this okay?
What does this look like for us? And this is my desire is intimacy and connection with you.
Laura Dugger: (56:16 - 56:41) And I love how you are explaining how you invite the Lord into that process for every person to ask him, what do you have for me? What do you want me to learn? What do you want to reveal to me about sex?
And none of us want to miss out on any good gift that he has to offer. So, France, you could continue teaching us and you have so many resources. Can you just share where you would direct us to go online after this chat?
Francie Winslow: (56:42 - 57:19) Sure. Yeah. Well, I have several courses and growth guides on my website.
So, franciewinslow.com and just spaces. If you wanted to have these conversations with your husband or maybe just wanted to grow on your own. And if you're looking for conversations exactly like we're having today, ongoing, I have a community membership group that we meet monthly on zoom to literally have conversations like this that are so life-giving because we're all on a journey and it's fun to be able to talk about places that we've had barriers and how we're growing.
And that's called the circle. So, I have that as well. So, lots of resources and ways to plug in and keep growing.
Laura Dugger: (57:20 - 57:36) Wonderful. We'll add the links in the show notes for today's episode. And Francie, you're already familiar that we're called The Savvy Sauce because savvy is synonymous with practical knowledge. And so, as my final question for you today, what is your savvy sauce?
Francie Winslow: (57:37 - 58:14) Well, it's not that fancy and it's going to sound extremely simple, but it's take a walk without your phone every day. It's part of that awareness and that coming back home to God who is in us with us all the time. And those simple deep breaths, remembering that we have him in us.
And a lot of times it's just that simple reminder of a minute unplugged in God's creation that helps me to kind of come back home to him and recenter to be filled up for all that comes my way. So, I'm a big fan of unplugging. That's so good.
Laura Dugger: (58:14 - 58:42) And it's just always such a joy to get to spend time with you. And God has given you these enormous gifts of teaching and this ability to synthesize knowledge from so many places and then make it beneficial and applicable for all of us as it relates to sexual intimacy in view of what God has for us in marriage. So, thank you, Francie, for sharing all this goodness today and thank you for being my returning guest.
Francie Winslow: (58:42 - 58:43) Absolutely. Thanks for having me.
Laura Dugger: (58:45 - 1:01:59) One more thing before you go.
Have you heard the term gospel before? It simply means good news. And I want to share the best news with you.
But it starts with the bad news. Every single one of us were born sinners, but Christ desires to rescue us from our sin, which is something we cannot do for ourselves. This means there's absolutely no chance we can make it to heaven on our own.
So, for you and for me, it means we deserve death and we can never pay back the sacrifice we owe to be saved. We need a savior. But God loved us so much.
He made a way for his only son to willingly die in our place as the perfect substitute. This gives us hope of life forever in right relationship with him. That is good news.
Jesus lived the perfect life we could never live and died in our place for our sin. This was God's plan to make a way to reconcile with us so that God can look at us and see Jesus. We can be covered and justified through the work Jesus finished if we choose to receive what he has done for us.
Romans 10:9 says, that if you confess with your mouth Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. So, would you pray with me now? Heavenly Father, thank you for sending Jesus to take our place.
I pray someone today right now is touched and chooses to turn their life over to you. Will you clearly guide them and help them take their next step in faith to declare you as Lord of their life? We trust you to work and change lives now for eternity.
In Jesus name we pray. Amen. If you prayed that prayer, you are declaring him for me, so me for him.
You get the opportunity to live your life for him. And at this podcast, we're called The Savvy Sauce for a reason. We want to give you practical tools to implement the knowledge you have learned.
So, you ready to get started? First, tell someone. Say it out loud.
Get a Bible. The first day I made this decision, my parents took me to Barnes & Noble and let me choose my own Bible. I selected the Quest NIV Bible and I love it.
You can start by reading the book of John. Also, get connected locally, which just means tell someone who's a part of a church in your community that you made a decision to follow Christ. I'm assuming they will be thrilled to talk with you about further steps such as going to church and getting connected to other believers to encourage you.
We want to celebrate with you too, so feel free to leave a comment for us here if you did make a decision to follow Christ. We also have show notes included where you can read scripture that describes this process. And finally, be encouraged.
Luke 15:10 says, in the same way I tell you, there is rejoicing in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner who repents. The heavens are praising with you for your decision today. And if you've already received this good news, I pray you have someone to share it with.
You are loved and I look forward to meeting you here next time.
Monday May 18, 2026
Monday May 18, 2026
Imparting Morals to Our Children: Charlotte Mason Inspired Mini-Series with Liz Cottrill, Special Patreon Release
Proverbs 9:10 (NIV) "The fear of the LORD is the beginning of wisdom, and knowledge of the Holy One is understanding."
*Transcription Below*
Questions and Topics We Discuss:
- What are the benefits of reading and reading aloud and how can we prioritize making this a frequent rhythm in our homes?
- What do the Gospels teach us about God’s view of children?
- As parents, if we focused on nothing else, what is your highest recommendation for cultivating a moral and righteous character in our children?
Liz Cottrill is mother of six and grandmother of fifteen who homeschooled for 35 years. For 17 years, Liz has worked with her daughter, Emily, in their family-owned Living Books Library serving local homeschool families in northeast Tennessee and southwest Virginia. For the past 25 years, Liz has been discovering and teaching about the beauty and purpose of a Charlotte Mason method of education. This led to the development of A Delectable Education podcast. In addition, she does personal consultations with homeschool families around the world. Her greatest passion outside of family and teaching about Charlotte Mason is developing and teaching women's Bible studies. Liz is a reading maniac and delights in spending time with her family and walking and biking with her husband.
Books Liz Mentioned:
The Chronicles of Narnia
Heidi
Little House on the Prairie Series
The Yearling
Little Britches Series
The Secret Garden
Where the Red Fern Grows
Little Women
The Singing Tree
The Little White Horse
Books by Beverly Cleary and Carolyn Haywood
A Delectable Education Website
Thank You to Our Sponsors: Chick-fil-A East Peoria and The Savvy Sauce Charities (and donate online here)
Connect with The Savvy Sauce on Facebook or Instagram or Our Website
Please help us out by sharing this episode with a friend, leaving a 5-star rating and review, and subscribing to this podcast!
Gospel Scripture: (all NIV)
Romans 3:23 “for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God,”
Romans 3:24 “and are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus.”
Romans 3:25 (a) “God presented him as a sacrifice of atonement, through faith in his blood.”
Hebrews 9:22 (b) “without the shedding of blood there is no forgiveness.”
Romans 5:8 “But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”
Romans 5:11 “Not only is this so, but we also rejoice in God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have now received reconciliation.”
John 3:16 “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.”
Romans 10:9 “That if you confess with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.”
Luke 15:10 says “In the same way, I tell you, there is rejoicing in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner who repents.”
Romans 8:1 “Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus”
Ephesians 1:13–14 “And you also were included in Christ when you heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation. Having believed, you were marked in him with a seal, the promised Holy Spirit, who is a deposit guaranteeing our inheritance until the redemption of those who are God’s possession- to the praise of his glory.”
Ephesians 1:15–23 “For this reason, ever since I heard about your faith in the Lord Jesus and your love for all the saints, I have not stopped giving thanks for you, remembering you in my prayers. I keep asking that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, may give you the spirit of wisdom and revelation, so that you may know him better. I pray also that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints, and his incomparably great power for us who believe. That power is like the working of his mighty strength, which he exerted in Christ when he raised him from the dead and seated him at his right hand in the heavenly realms, far above all rule and authority, power and dominion, and every title that can be given, not only in the present age but also in the one to come. And God placed all things under his feet and appointed him to be head over everything for the church, which is his body, the fullness of him who fills everything in every way.”
Ephesians 2:8–10 “For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith – and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God – not by works, so that no one can boast. For we are God‘s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.“
Ephesians 2:13 “But now in Christ Jesus you who once were far away have been brought near through the blood of Christ.“
Philippians 1:6 “being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.”
*Transcription*
Music: (0:00 – 0:08)
Laura Dugger: (0:09 - 1:59)
Welcome to The Savvy Sauce, where we have practical chats for intentional living. I'm your host, Laura Dugger, and I'm so glad you're here.
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Today is the final episode in our mini-series, where we've been learning the Charlotte Mason educational philosophy. And today we're going to tie it in with general parenting principles, all of which are rooted in scripture.
My guest is Liz Cottrill, and she has parented babies to adults, and she's also a grandmother. So, we have a lot to learn from her experience. Here's our chat.
Welcome to The Savvy Sauce, Liz.
Liz Cottrill: (1:59 - 2:03)
Well, thank you so much for having me. I am just honored to be with you today.
Laura Dugger: (2:04 - 2:08)
Will you just begin by sharing your testimony with us?
Liz Cottrill: (2:09 - 4:12)
Well, it's kind of long, but I'll make it as short as I can. I grew up in an unbelieving family, but we were churchgoers. And when I was 12 years old, I put my trust in Christ.
After listening to a 17-year-old boy at a youth group meeting who presented the gospel so clearly for me that I understood and wanted to receive Christ. And then I met my husband in high school in German class. Actually, I don't remember very much German, but I was interested in him and he with me because we were Christians.
And we just got off on that foot together. And we have been married 46 years, always trying to put Christ first in our family and in our life. I have six children who are all grown now.
Two came to us by adoption later on in our life. And I have four married children with 15 grandchildren. And grand is just a minimal word for what they are.
I have been homeschooling for 37 years. I graduated my last child just this past spring, and it's been a long journey. It was illegal when I first began.
And I struggled to know the right path, you know, when and how and what subjects to teach and all of that. And a friend gave me a copy of Susan Schaefer McCauley's, For the Children's Sake, which I immediately gravitated to and started the narration way of teaching and using nature and art. But it really was another five years before I understood a lot more about Charlotte Mason and tried to implement more of her ideas.
And then when my grown daughter Emily, 15 years ago, started reading me her actual writings, it wasn't really until then that I started to understand her method.
Laura Dugger: (4:13 - 4:23)
Well, and that's incredible. You mentioned it was illegal at that time to homeschool. And you've said before that you and your husband had never even heard of homeschooling when you met. Right.
Liz Cottrill: (4:23 - 6:15)
So, how did you make that choice? You know, it's funny. I had my first child, and I remember a conversation with friends in the nursery at church when we were out of the service with our little ones.
And some of them were teachers, and they were talking about how it would be so wonderful if we could just keep our children out of public school and teach them Ourselves. And that put a little seed in my mind. And then I heard Dr. Dobson interview someone on homeschooling when she was about maybe two. And a year later, a friend took me to a kind of clandestine meeting of homeschool people with a national educator who was big on the idea. And we just decided that was the way we wanted to go. There were people that were actually being prosecuted for truancy and things like that when I started.
But we just wanted to be above board right from the beginning. So, I called the school board and just said, “I'm not going to send my child to school. I'm going to keep him at home, but I just want you to know he is being educated.”
Sorry. And so, you know, they didn't mind it. But I kind of marveled that I did that.
And I had to kind of beg, borrow and steal materials from friends who were ex-teachers and so on and didn't know really what I was about. I just remembered my own experience and tried to replicate that as best I could. And anyway, it was a process.
And by the time my fourth child was in school, there were absolutely no laws at all on the books about homeschooling in Michigan where we live. So, there had been several stages of them becoming more open to it over the 10 years since I started.
Laura Dugger: (6:16 - 6:44)
Wow. And I love how that seed was planted through a conversation. And I've spoken with some mothers who have chosen to homeschool, and I've always been intrigued by this concept of morning time.
They say that they use that time to gather their children and read the Bible together. So, even broader than that, will you vision cast what type of healthy rhythm is available with Charlotte Mason's recommended schedule?
Liz Cottrill: (6:45 - 8:29)
Well, she was a proponent of very short lessons, which for children under nine would be a maximum of 20 minutes long. And some of them are even shorter. And so school morning does run along at quite a little cliff because you're constantly changing pace.
But that is something that most six- and seven- and eight-year-olds love. And we do begin with Bible. And if you have children of multiple ages, the schedule broadens out for them.
I am not personally a big fan of the quote unquote morning time because all of her morning is together and separate and then together again. And what happens a lot of times when you have too long of a gathering of all ages is that the older children are then left with all the real hard toil at the end of the morning. And, you know, the little kids usually can only stand, you know, maybe half an hour at the most.
But we always sing a song and then had our Bible lesson, which Charlotte Mason has a wonderful plan for how to study Bible as a school subject so that they get to know the entire story from Genesis through Revelation. And then usually we have some poetry and then we just move into all our subjects, which vary from day to day. I mean, math and reading and things like that happen every day.
You know, some days we have art, some days we have geography, you know, all those things happen at various times through the week and not every single day. So, that helps you to cover a lot of ground in a week. That makes sense.
Laura Dugger: (8:30 - 8:36)
That does. And so that may be the focus in the morning. And then what does that open up for the afternoon time?
Liz Cottrill: (8:36 - 9:43)
So, afternoons are especially for young children, mostly free for them to play and explore and enjoy nature. There are some recommended activities that could occupy some of the afternoon hours, especially if you live in Michigan like I did. And we're snowed in much of the time in the winter months.
But handicrafts and nature walks and reading and housework and things like that could be part of the afternoons. They're more open ended. They're not time limited the way school lesson mornings are.
So, it ushers in a sense of maybe a more leisurely pace in the afternoon, would you say? Yes. And, you know, you might say this afternoon after we come in from play or nature study, we're going to draw.
But there's no regulation that that has to end after 15 minutes or something. You know, some children get really involved in making up their own play or having a puppet show or just doing whatever they want with their free time. And they don't want to be curtailed, you know?
Laura Dugger: (9:44 - 9:56)
Sure. And I'm wondering then for the mother, if she's the one doing the homeschooling, is that the time when you used it for lesson planning or preparing for the next day's work?
Liz Cottrill: (9:57 - 10:20)
Or doing the laundry and getting dinner ready and all the other million things you have to do every day. Yeah, I usually encourage moms to take 10 minutes to plan for the next lesson day. And sometimes they get that done even before lunch so that when lunch happens, you know, basically their mind is off school and just on to all the other life that we have.
Laura Dugger: (10:21 - 10:29)
Wow. And if this is new to someone and they hear 10 minutes to plan the next day's lessons, how is that possible?
Liz Cottrill: (10:32 - 11:06)
Well, mostly because a lot of your lesson is already determined by the amount of time you have. There's only so much you can do in any lesson. A young child would have maybe 9 or 10 lessons in a morning.
But usually there's been some preplanning in the summer or before that school term starts. So, a lot of it, you already know what you're doing. And so, we're just specifically troubleshooting or figuring out what's going to happen the next day.
You know, so we give a right amount of math work or choose the vocabulary for the reading lesson or whatnot.
Laura Dugger: (11:07 - 11:41)
Okay, that's helpful. And you say that your own education began when you were born into a family who loved and valued books. And Charlotte Mason is quoted saying, “The most common and the monstrous defect in the education of the day is that children fail to acquire the habit of reading.”
So, Liz, what are some of the benefits of both reading and reading aloud? And how can we prioritize making this a frequent rhythm in our homes?
Liz Cottrill: (11:43 - 15:13)
I have to preface what I say by saying that this is a huge problem in our culture today. I don't know if you know that my daughter Emily and I started a library for homeschool families. And I have about 20,000 books in my library that we loan out to 40 to 50 families each year.
They have a membership, so they have access to wonderful books. But it wasn't long into this journey almost 20 years ago that I realized that most moms had not even read Little House on the Prairie. And very common children's books were a mystery to them because our culture has kind of lost the art of reading.
I think it's a pretty known fact that only one in four adults ever reads even one book in a year. And I guess books are critical to our culture. They're definitely integral to the whole education process of our children.
They can learn so much more through a whole book than they can through a few paragraphs in a textbook. And the bottom line is that you can't give your children what you don't love yourself. So, the best way to ensure that you make your child become a reader is to be a reader yourself.
So, children, I always say, have to be surrounded by books. There are even education studies out worldwide in all socioeconomic brackets that children who grew up in a home of 500 books or more automatically become readers as adults. I just think that's fascinating.
So, they need to be surrounded with books, but they need to see you reading. And we need to make time to read to them from the very youngest ages. They should be well into early chapter books by the time they ever start school.
And so, reading as a family is just a wonderful, enjoyable activity. I think that when I say they need to see you reading too, I just want to add that that doesn't mean on your phone. Because for all they know, you're looking at YouTube or Facebook or something like that.
I had a friend who said that she really woke up to this one day when her kids were running through the room and she was reading an actual book and her son stopped and said, what are you doing? It just shocked her because she was a reader, but she didn't often read from an actual book. I do think reading as a family builds a wonderful culture in your home.
It is one of the wonderful ways of keeping a family together. You have common jokes and insights and just conversations because of the things you've been reading together. And Charlotte Mason said that our books are our greatest teachers.
And I think that's because they fertilize a child's imagination. They give them so many ideas about the world that they just can't receive from TV or just our normal life. Reading really is the most countercultural thing that you can do.
It slows down our life, the pace that we all live at. It gives us time to spend together to relax. It brings a sense of peace in the home.
Just a lot of enjoyment to life. I can't imagine living without books.
Laura Dugger: (15:14 - 15:30)
And Liz, I just get so excited to hear you describe all of this and some of the benefits and the culture that's added. Are there any other books you talked about? Little House on the Prairie.
Are there some other chapter books that you have especially fond memories of sharing with your family?
Liz Cottrill: (15:32 - 16:24)
Well, it's no secret to the world, if anybody has ever heard me talk or read anything I've written, that Heidi by Johanna Sperry is probably my all-time favorite. I had my six-year-old daughter, my third daughter. I read it to all my kids.
I read all the books through to her over several weeks or whatnot. And at the end, she said, read it again as if it was a little picture book. And so, I just started it over again and we read it again.
And then I promised her I'd read it to her every year while she was growing up. So, it's a precious book. I love Ralph Moody's Little Britches series for children and all the classic things, Anne of Green Gables and The Yearling.
And oh, my goodness, how many would you like me to say?
Laura Dugger: (16:25 - 16:29)
Feel free to share a few more and I will put links to these in the show notes.
Liz Cottrill: (16:30 - 17:39)
Well, the Narnia series and The Secret Garden, Where the Red Fern Grows, Little Women, The Singing Tree by Kate. It's pronounced Charity, S-E-R-E-D-Y. I could go on and on.
The Little White Horse by Elizabeth Gouge. Just dozens. And the fact is that great books are still being written today, but they're like a needle in a haystack.
And so, if you go back to books published before 1970, you are going to find just amazing books that still speak to children. Because adventures are always adventures to a child. They don't care if they were driving horse and buggy or old cars.
And books that children loved back in the last century, in the 20th century, it was the golden age of children's literature, they say. There were as many books published in the 1930 to 35 era as were in the previous 500 years for children. And it just grew from there.
Laura Dugger: (17:39 - 17:47)
And there are a few reasons for that before 1970. Didn't that have to do with the library and with publishing houses?
Liz Cottrill: (17:48 - 18:40)
Yes, the government passed an educational bill, 1964, I believe, President Johnson, that funded school libraries. So, all of a sudden, all of these small county schools and libraries that had very limited resources and had to be very picky and choosy about what books they put into their library had a flood of income. That produced a flood in the publishing houses of producing books of all kinds.
So, there is a lot of junk out there and unhelpful stuff. But the classics that I grew up on back in the 60s, Beverly Cleary and Carolyn Haywood and all the series they wrote for children are just timeless. My grandchildren still enjoy them, even though they like the latest and greatest, too.
Laura Dugger: (18:41 - 24:25)
Sure, but that's helpful to have that context to realize that previously it used to be only the best of the best were able to be published. And that changed. And now a brief message from our sponsor.
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Now, back to the show.
In addition to reading, handicrafts are another piece of the Charlotte Mason education. So, can you explain what is meant by that term handicrafts?
Liz Cottrill: (24:26 - 25:45)
Well, it's a huge arena of things, but it's basically learning to work with your hands, doing purposeful tasks, making things that will make life beautiful. So, it's aesthetic as well as useful. So, I think we all could see that learning to knit is great fine motor training for a child, but being able to make a handmade sweater for someone is serviceable and lovely.
But all kinds of things, woodworking, embroidery and sewing, paper folding and origami, clay modeling, weaving, all of these things, basically a child can start at the rudimentary stage and develop over the years. And there was a huge emphasis with Charlotte Mason that these crafts would then give children opportunity to help and serve others. So, if you know how to work well with your hands, you'll be able to help someone change a tire, or you will be able to make cookies or gifts for people who are sick or shut in or lonely.
Just you'll be a useful person. And she was very interested in the whole person, not just training the mind.
Laura Dugger: (25:46 - 26:02)
And I would love to know, I'm sure there's a lot of brain science behind this, even like we know that movement and physical activity, that there is a mind-body connection and how that even unlocks emotions. So, I wonder what is freed up when we work with our hands?
Liz Cottrill: (26:03 - 27:04)
One of the things for little children in school, because this was part of the morning lessons, the training process the first few years, as they get older, they work more in that free afternoon time we were talking about. But it gives them a rest from all the effort of paying attention and thinking through things in school. And then there are just the benefits that we all benefit from serving other people.
We all benefit when we are doing something productive and not just rambling around the house, bored and looking out the windows and causing mischief too. So, I think it benefits the mother in many ways, because the children are trained up to learn how to do chores and housework. So, the whole family can be working together.
They can learn how to garden together. That can be a handicraft, for example, that brings in food. And then they can learn to can as they get older.
And, you know, the sky is the limit.
Laura Dugger: (27:06 - 27:32)
That's really helpful to hear. And regardless of schooling choice, there is another Charlotte Mason principle that we all may relate to in parenting in general. And she explains the principles of authority on the one hand and obedience on the other are natural, necessary and fundamental.
So, what can this look like in our parenting?
Liz Cottrill: (27:33 - 29:31)
You know, she also said that we as parents are deputed as the authority of our children by God. And I think when we realize that this is a God given office that we hold and by authority, I know a lot of people recoil a bit in our day and age, but she meant that we were made by God to lead and guide and protect the children under our care. And children naturally look to us for those things, don't they?
So, when that relationship is understood and a parent is comfortable with the fact that they are the authority in their child's life, the children stay in that role most naturally, too. They respond with trust and obedience. So, loving leadership, you know, is not, as some people think when we say authority over your child, it is not like being overbearing and dictatorial and arbitrary or inconsistent.
And, you know, both ends of that spectrum are a disrespect of the child as made in the image of God. And as someone who God has entrusted to you to bring up, to know him. So, much of what is considered love in our era is just pure child centeredness or indulgence of the child.
We think that's love and love and discipline go hand in hand. And by discipline, I don't mean corporal punishment at all. I think there are many ways to guide a child that help them feel that security, that someone knows the boundaries, that I'm safe within this space.
I have a lot of freedom as long as I obey within these limits. I think we're all like that, right.
Laura Dugger: (29:32 - 29:45)
Absolutely. And you parented six children. So, what insight do you have for helping us teach our children to distinguish between I want and I will?
Liz Cottrill: (29:46 - 32:01)
And this was a very helpful thing when I started reading Charlotte Mason, to have her distinguish some of these things, because, you know, as parents, we can get into power struggles with our children because we tell them or ask them or prefer them to do a certain thing. And they just don't want to. So, she taught that the will is our decision maker.
It's what causes us to choose things. It's our independence. I can say yes to this or no to this.
Right. But this is sometimes a struggle, even for us adults. I mean, the candy bar is laying there.
You know, you shouldn't eat it, but you want to. So, we all have big and little struggles with what we want versus what we know we ought to do. And she said children should have a sense of ought that they should know there is a right and a wrong.
So, she talked about how we can teach our children what we should do is what helps the other person or gives them their due rights. But the will can get kind of weary of making a lot of decisions, too. And we all talk in our day and age about decision fatigue.
Right. And so, she taught parents to teach a practice with their children how to rest the will when it is in that struggle or turmoil of having to decide whether I will clean my room because mother has asked me. But I do not want to do this nasty job.
So, she said to teach them how to turn their thoughts momentarily to some other thing. Think about something pleasant and desirable that you love just for a moment and then return to the decision at hand, and you will discover that automatically your will is stronger and able to do what it ought to do instead of just what you want to do. And it's really the whole call of Christ on all of our lives.
You know, he said, follow me, lay down your life, don't serve yourself, but serve others. And those are hard things. But when we think of him and the joy of serving him, they become easier to us.
And so, we're beginning to train our children to that habit, too.
Laura Dugger: (32:02 - 32:32)
And like you said, yes, that's beneficial to all of us. Charlotte Mason is also quoted saying, the question is not how much does the youth know when he has finished his education, but how much does he care? So, Liz, from your experience home educating many children, how can each of us bring up our own children so that they do care and they do desire to be lifelong learners?
Liz Cottrill: (32:33 - 35:10)
I think first is to recognize that every child has an innate desire to learn. A baby is curious from day one, right? We just see them interested in everything.
They're interested in things we have long since forgotten about. They notice everything. And in Charlotte Mason's method of educating, the entire curriculum was called a feast because there were so many different kinds of things.
You know, it's like a big smorgasbord for learning. And I think that in itself builds a lot of care and interest. You know, I think it's also the way God gave us his word and his world and said, taste and see that the Lord is good.
So, when we let our children learn a little bit of this and a little bit of that, they are tasting all kinds of things and discovering new delights all the time and things they would never have noticed or been interested in otherwise. I think it is not pushing our children ever in school. We have very false ideas sometimes about the level a child should be at.
We think more is better all the time. And we're always either pushing or pulling them, dragging them through where they're not really quite ready. I think it's also not leaning on rewards or penalties when it comes to school subjects, especially.
They're maybe not the best idea of parenting in any arena, but knowledge, Charlotte Mason said, is delectable. All kinds of knowledge. And I think that this carries over outside of school to help a childcare is to talk about interesting things with them all the time.
I think in general; parents don't talk to their children a whole lot anymore. We don't have just conversations on other topics that are not currently the hot thing on social media or something.
Interesting your children in a lot of different things is like amending your garden soil in the spring, you know, adding lots of different things so that you ensure a good crop. I think that when you give your children a little of this and that, you are automatically appealing to their instinctive curiosity. And you're giving them the idea that there are dozens and hundreds of things to know and they pursue them then.
Laura Dugger: (35:11 - 35:43)
Well, learning is such a value in part because we hope to grow wise and provide a home environment where our children can grow wise as well. And it makes me think of Proverbs 9 10 that says, the fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom and knowledge of the Holy One is understanding. So, how can we experience the Holy Spirit as our supreme educator and encourage our children in the same way?
Liz Cottrill: (35:44 - 37:01)
Our children have a natural thirst for knowledge and truth. It's in the heart of every person who's made in God's image. And the spirit, of course, is the one who leads us into all truth.
There is no truth that is not God's truth. So, you stand as a teacher in Charlotte Mason's way of teaching. You are outside in a way you recognize that your child is the learner, and you are just presenting the lessons and the feast.
And it is amazing to see how the spirit does work in our children. One morning, this was brought home to me just personally by the Lord when I was reading the beginning of the book of Mark to my boys during our Bible lesson. And when I got to the phrase where John the Baptist says, “prepare the way of the Lord.” It was like the Holy Spirit tapped on my shoulder and said, “that is what you will be doing all morning.”
Because we don't know what God is going to use in their life. And the Holy Spirit does. So, I think it's a lot of trust that he is active and breathing life into our school lessons.
Laura Dugger: (37:02 - 37:03)
I love that.
Liz Cottrill: (37:03 - 37:52)
Prepare the way for the Lord. Yes. And, you know, we just are constantly amazed at what our children's insights into the scripture are.
But they have those insights when they're doing an art lesson and looking at a beautiful painting. They'll say, oh, this reminds me of or they receive instruction morally from their stories that they're reading. And even in geography and natural sciences, you know, they're seeing all the things God's made and it increases their wonder.
And, you know, the Holy Spirit speaks to them in all kinds of areas. So, I think allowing them to explore and engage, which, you know, traditional workbooks and textbooks do not allow for as much.
Laura Dugger: (37:53 - 38:37)
Well, and even as you're speaking, it makes me think about Philippians 2:13, because you're talking about the part that is our part to do. But it also says, for God is working in you, giving you the desire and the power to do what pleases him. So, that is helpful to realize we can help prepare the way for the Lord.
But he's the one who's going to give us and our children the desire to obey and learn these things. Well, and kind of on that topic, what control do you believe that we as parents have to influence the divine life of our child?
Liz Cottrill: (38:39 - 40:38)
Well, I think God, in all his wisdom, made parents to be the primary influence in our child's life. You know, Deuteronomy talks about to teach these things to your children while you walk and while you sit and while you lie down and all those things. I'm not quoting it exactly, of course, here.
But so, it's a way of life. We have our mind on God, and he is the center of our life. Our children are automatically going to assume that that is a normal way of being.
But, you know, to a baby, we actually are God to them. We control everything for their life. And so, they begin learning and they're going to have their view of the world and of God shaped by our attitude toward our children, by our behavior toward them, the way we care for them.
If God is our orientation, he's going to be there when we're having fun or even in our discipline moments. God is going to be our reference point as a family. So, they grow up in this culture where God is first, and we look to him and everything.
And I don't mean this means we have to talk to our children about God all the time, but I think it's a pattern of life. I also think that as parents, we teach our children much about God and how to live with him and others in the world. When we are humble Ourselves, when we go to our children, when we have offended them and ask their forgiveness, when we have behavior issues with them and we ask God for wisdom with our child.
We just bring prayer or his wisdom into situations naturally. And I think they just automatically assume or realize our reverence for God by our own demeanor, our own attitude toward God every day Ourselves.
Laura Dugger: (40:39 - 40:45)
Well, and furthermore, what do you see the gospels teaching us about God's view of children?
Liz Cottrill: (40:48 - 45:12)
I'll tell you, this was my biggest turning point in accepting Charlotte Mason's method of teaching, because I thought if this was what she said was at the heart of her educational method, I could trust her to learn about the things I didn't understand about her method yet. I think it begins with realizing what Jesus said that you cannot enter the kingdom of God unless you do so as a little child. And why is that?
Because children are naturally humble. They're naturally weak. They're naturally poor in spirit.
And he said, blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. So, it helps us to remember when we're working with children that this is God's way, because our children can cause some friction in our life, right? They can be obstinate and oppositional and irritating and slow and whining and frustrating.
It's natural for us to push back on those things. But when we realize their character is being formed, that we're accountable to God for these things, then her three rules from the gospels that we should not offend children, which means we don't sin against them. We don't hurt their body or their feelings.
We treat them as we would treat our own friends. We would never say things to our friends that we all feel quite free to say to our children sometimes. And we need the humility, like I've said before, to go to them and ask their forgiveness and to pray with them and to reconcile with our child and not just assume, oh, well, they'll understand when they're older or just, I guess it didn't hurt them that much.
We should never assume those things. Jesus said, do not despise the children. So, when we don't think that they're worthy of the best books, that they are worthy of learning important ideas straight from the truth of books, and we think they have to have dumbed down materials that are just shaped for their, what we consider thimble full of ability.
I think when we're impatient with our children in school lessons and, you know, as a homeschool mom, I did it for so long and I know how easy it is, but we have to ask God for the patience and kindness of Jesus. And we can just very easily dismiss our children that their thoughts are silly. We can belittle them for ideas they have.
We can use our words to make them feel small. And I think Jesus was saying, don't despise them. And then the third thing he said was not to hinder them.
And again, I think by holding them back, by not allowing them to progress when they're ready to learn more, by assuming that they're too young for this or that, sometimes I think we're babying them too much and holding them back. That's a hindrance. I think that especially middle school boys, we don't like them to be growing up, and we don't allow them to exert some of the independence that's just natural with them getting to that age.
So, we just need to remove things in our lives that are going to make school a struggle for them, which doesn't mean we don't require them to learn, but we need to allow them to make mistakes. I mean, how are they going to learn to solve math problems if we're always saying, no, you're doing it the wrong way, and take it out of their hands and show them the way we do it. It's better for them to get the understanding by trying several times.
We let them do this when they're learning to walk and talk. When they start talking, they say things, and only we as mothers know what they're asking for because it isn't clear yet. Well, that is true of every single area of their life.
So, not hindering them means that we work with them and allow them to grow up into the things that they're getting understanding about. And I think sometimes in school lessons, not hindering them is just if they have trouble keeping their hands busy doing what they're supposed to be doing, then let's remove everything in their reach that is going to tempt them to fool around and not pay attention.
Laura Dugger: (45:13 - 45:26)
Well, as parents, if we focused on nothing else, what is your highest recommendation for cultivating a moral and righteous character in our children?
Liz Cottrill: (45:28 - 46:32)
Well, obviously reading the Bible to your children is a wonderful moral instructor. But I think that novels and poetry and tales, fairy tales, fables, all those things are the children's best teacher. Charlotte Mason said, knowledge touched with emotion is what our minds absorb.
And so, when you're reading a book and you become excited or tense or nervous, I mean, you can watch heart monitors and EEGs, how the mind changes when we're reading different parts of things. And as a parent, a book is the third party that the child will accept much more easily than if we just try to instruct them. I think books engage their imagination and kind of give them a chance to practice life in a safe way.
So, they may have thought that doing a particular thing is a smart idea. But when they encounter a heroine in a book who does it and it doesn't turn out well for her, then they learned a lesson safely.
Laura Dugger: (46:33 - 46:55)
I love that thinking about the book as a third party and maybe even a mentor, someone to partner with us to help cultivate that character. And Liz, you have so much to offer, even with your living books, library and your podcast and so many things. If we want to learn more from you after this conversation, where would you like to direct us online?
Liz Cottrill: (46:56 - 47:45)
Well, on our website, A Delightful Education dot com, we do have some teacher training videos, we call them, but anybody would be welcome to watch those. And I have done a whole hour long talk about moral instruction through all kinds of literature for children that would, I'm sure, be of interest to any parent, regardless of what educational method they follow. I've made videos on how to teach a child to read and how to keep the wrong books out of their hands and things like that.
So, that would be one specific, but https://www.livingbookslibrary.com. We haven't done a lot with that website, but it's still there. And there are lots of blogs and archives that I've written about children and books and discipline and things like that.
Laura Dugger: (47:45 - 48:03)
Wonderful. We will link to that in the show notes for today's episode. And Liz, you may already be familiar that we're called The Savvy Sauce because savvy is synonymous with practical knowledge.
And so, as my final question for you today, what is your savvy sauce?
Liz Cottrill: (48:05 - 48:57)
You know, I think as a Christian parent, the best thing you can do for your child is to spend time alone with God yourself every day, even if it's three minutes. We need to learn to listen to him and his word, and we need to bring our concerns to him and orient Ourselves to him because the job we have before us is life and death, really. And if I was to add to that, I would say, learn to really listen to your child.
They're telling you all kinds of things, and we need to hear what's really in their heart and deal with their heart issues. And that's probably why I say spending time with God, not only for our own personal growth and maturity, but it is our lifeline as a parent to be able to have wisdom for our children.
Laura Dugger: (48:58 - 49:22)
Well, and Liz, you have modeled that so well, and you're just a wealth of knowledge. And it's been encouraging just to hear your courageous decisions, even going back to choosing to homeschool at a time when it was not even legal, but trusting in your Lord. And you've modeled that for all of us today.
So, thank you for all that you've shared. And thank you for being my guest.
Liz Cottrill: (49:23 - 50:22)
Well, I am so appreciative of your wonderful questions and thought-provoking things that you've asked. And can I just add one other thing? Oh, please do.
So, I don't know if your listeners are aware of the fact that I am totally blind and have been since birth. And so, I know how scary it is to venture out into homeschooling. I know what a struggle it is to find books to read because there weren't a lot available to me as a blind mother, either for school or just for fun.
So, I just think that one of the reasons God planned for me to have this handicap through my life is just to encourage moms that we really do need God's sight and wisdom. And no difficulty you have before you is too great for Him to help you to navigate the waters of raising children.
Laura Dugger: (50:22 - 54:17)
That is beautifully said. And I just appreciate you sharing that. Thank you for opening up to us and what an incredible perspective you have. So, thank you, Liz.
One more thing before you go.
Have you heard the term gospel before? It simply means good news. And I want to share the best news with you.
But it starts with the bad news. Every single one of us were born sinners, but Christ desires to rescue us from our sin, which is something we cannot do for ourselves. This means there's absolutely no chance we can make it to heaven on our own.
So, for you and for me, it means we deserve death and we can never pay back the sacrifice we owe to be saved. We need a savior. But God loved us so much.
He made a way for his only son to willingly die in our place as the perfect substitute. This gives us hope of life forever in right relationship with him. That is good news.
Jesus lived the perfect life we could never live and died in our place for our sin. This was God's plan to make a way to reconcile with us so that God can look at us and see Jesus. We can be covered and justified through the work Jesus finished if we choose to receive what he has done for us.
Romans 10:9 says, that if you confess with your mouth Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. So, would you pray with me now? Heavenly Father, thank you for sending Jesus to take our place.
I pray someone today right now is touched and chooses to turn their life over to you. Will you clearly guide them and help them take their next step in faith to declare you as Lord of their life? We trust you to work and change lives now for eternity.
In Jesus name we pray. Amen. If you prayed that prayer, you are declaring him for me, so me for him.
You get the opportunity to live your life for him. And at this podcast, we're called The Savvy Sauce for a reason. We want to give you practical tools to implement the knowledge you have learned.
So, you ready to get started? First, tell someone. Say it out loud.
Get a Bible. The first day I made this decision, my parents took me to Barnes & Noble and let me choose my own Bible. I selected the Quest NIV Bible and I love it.
You can start by reading the book of John. Also, get connected locally, which just means tell someone who's a part of a church in your community that you made a decision to follow Christ. I'm assuming they will be thrilled to talk with you about further steps such as going to church and getting connected to other believers to encourage you.
We want to celebrate with you too, so feel free to leave a comment for us here if you did make a decision to follow Christ. We also have show notes included where you can read scripture that describes this process. And finally, be encouraged.
Luke 15:10 says, in the same way I tell you, there is rejoicing in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner who repents. The heavens are praising with you for your decision today. And if you've already received this good news, I pray you have someone to share it with.
You are loved and I look forward to meeting you here next time.
Monday May 11, 2026
Monday May 11, 2026
What Books are Healthiest for Your Tween or Teen? An Interview with Betsy Farquhar and Hayley Morell (Episode 293)
*Disclaimer: Some of this content is not intended for young audiences. Please use discretion.
Proverbs 4:7 NIV “The beginning of wisdom is this: Get wisdom. Though it cost all you have, get understanding.”
*Transcription Below*
Betsy Farquhar holds Masters degrees in Children's Literature and Information and Library Science. She taught middle and high school English, homeschooled her three children, and has served on many book award committees.
Hayley Morell loves reading, writing, trying new recipes, knitting, or chatting with her parrot. Hayley loves traveling and lived abroad in Europe and Asia. She and her husband and infant live in Wisconsin in an old house overflowing with books and are active in their local community.
Their Website, Book, and Social Media Handles: Instagram @redeemed_reader and Facebook: @redeemedreader
Thank you to our sponsor: Sam Leman Eureka
Questions and Topics We Cover:
- What are some benefits of reading and why is it worthwhile to devote our time to curating a healthy diet of books?
- Can you elaborate on why the Young Adult or YA category is the most controversial?
- What is on your radar for genres or books that will require even more discernment in the future?
Other Savvy Sauce Episode Mentioned:
21. Promoting a Family Culture of Reading with Megan Kaeb
22. Inspiring Your Children to Become Readers, Part Two with Megan Kaeb
253. Low Tech Parenting with Erin Loechner
273. Wise Living: Why to Get Outside, and Travel, and Read Aloud with Amber O’Neal Johnston
Connect with The Savvy Sauce on Facebook or Instagram or Our Website
Gospel Scripture: (all NIV)
Romans 3:23 “for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God,”
Romans 3:24 “and are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus.”
Romans 3:25 (a) “God presented him as a sacrifice of atonement, through faith in his blood.”
Hebrews 9:22 (b) “without the shedding of blood there is no forgiveness.”
Romans 5:8 “But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”
Romans 5:11 “Not only is this so, but we also rejoice in God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have now received reconciliation.”
John 3:16 “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.”
Romans 10:9 “That if you confess with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.”
Luke 15:10 says “In the same way, I tell you, there is rejoicing in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner who repents.”
Romans 8:1 “Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus”
Ephesians 1:13–14 “And you also were included in Christ when you heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation. Having believed, you were marked in him with a seal, the promised Holy Spirit, who is a deposit guaranteeing our inheritance until the redemption of those who are God’s possession- to the praise of his glory.”
Ephesians 1:15–23 “For this reason, ever since I heard about your faith in the Lord Jesus and your love for all the saints, I have not stopped giving thanks for you, remembering you in my prayers. I keep asking that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, may give you the spirit of wisdom and revelation, so that you may know him better. I pray also that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints, and his incomparably great power for us who believe. That power is like the working of his mighty strength, which he exerted in Christ when he raised him from the dead and seated him at his right hand in the heavenly realms, far above all rule and authority, power and dominion, and every title that can be given, not only in the present age but also in the one to come. And God placed all things under his feet and appointed him to be head over everything for the church, which is his body, the fullness of him who fills everything in every way.”
Ephesians 2:8–10 “For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith – and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God – not by works, so that no one can boast. For we are God‘s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.“
Ephesians 2:13 “But now in Christ Jesus you who once were far away have been brought near through the blood of Christ.“
Philippians 1:6 “being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.”
*Transcription*
Music: (0:00 – 0:11)
Laura Dugger: (0:12 - 1:46)
Welcome to The Savvy Sauce, where we have practical chats for intentional living. I'm your host, Laura Dugger, and I'm so glad you're here.
The principles of honesty and integrity that Sam Leman founded his business on continue today over 55 years later at Sam Leman Chevrolet Eureka.
Owned and operated by the Bertschi family, Sam Leman and Eureka appreciates the support they've received from their customers all over Central Illinois and beyond. Visit them today at lemangm.com.
My guests for today are Betsy Farquhar and Haley Morrill, two of the four authors of this book, The Redeemed Reader, which is also the name of the website that they run together where they have thousands of book reviews for children and tweens and teens.
We all know that books are so powerful, so it's vitally important that we're discerning both for what we're intaking and the filters that we use to allow our children to engage with books in our home. We're going to sprinkle book recommendations throughout this episode, and you're also going to learn some surprising things, such as more details about the YA or young adult category. Here's our chat. Welcome to The Savvy Sauce, Betsy and Haley.
Betsy Farquhar: (1:48 - 1:49)
Thanks. It's good to be here.
Laura Dugger: (1:50 - 1:57)
I would love to just start out hearing the way that the two of you found your way into the work that you get to do today.
Betsy Farquhar: (1:58 - 2:42)
Mine started way back in the 1900s when I was in college. I did my senior thesis on children's literature, George MacDonald, and that led to a children's literature class my last semester, which led me to grad school with one of my now co-workers, but at the time fellow students and friends, and we got our master's in children's literature. And then rabbit trail, lots of detours, children, marriage. She and I started a blog back when those were cool and hip, and it was reviewing children's books and that was just for fun. And then we connected with Janie and Emily from Redeemed Reader. Through that blog venue, we were commenting on each other's blogs, and they brought us on board. And so here we are 15 years later.
Hayley Morell: (2:43 - 3:38)
And for me, I was a high schooler. I was homeschooled. I loved reading.
So, I started my own blog back in the teenage years and I was always looking for book recommendations and came upon Redeemed Reader in the early days. I turned out they were looking for an intern. I started interning and at the end of my internship, Emily Witten, who was our founder, asked if I'd like to stay on.
And that was 14 or 15 years ago now. So, I was younger. And so, I had a period at college.
I studied at Boyce College. I worked in children's ministry and worked as a private tutor. So, a lot of interactions with children.
I was known as the babysitter with the book bag for a number of years. And now I've got my own little, and so I'm in the land of board books and happily working at Redeemed Reader.
Laura Dugger: (3:39 - 3:49)
I love hearing that. And if people are watching this through video, can you both just say your name, so we know who's Betsy and who's Haley? I'm Haley.
Betsy Farquhar: (3:50 - 3:51)
I'm Betsy.
Laura Dugger: (3:52 - 4:07)
Okay, wonderful. Thank you for that. And at Redeemed Reader, I'm assuming you have so many book recommendations to try and read and review.
So, how do you even determine which books you are going to review?
Hayley Morell: (4:08 - 7:49)
So, right now we are wrapping up one of the things we love doing, which is providing award coverage. In January is when the American Library Association announces their awards, and they like to recognize the best middle grade with the Newberry, the best picture books with the Caldecott, and then a number of other awards. We know that those books are going to be going into lots of libraries and schools.
And so, we like to provide coverage of that and review those books that we know parents are going to be seeing on shelves and wondering, is this a good book? Should we be reading this? What do we want to check out?
We also like to watch what is popular. What is causing discussion? So, several years ago, that was The Hunger Games.
And there was a lot of questions about dystopia. Should we be reading this? Is this helpful?
Do I want my teen reading The Hunger Games? More recently, some popular middle grade series like Keeper of the Lost Cities have had a lot of parents asking, what is this series? Is there anything I should know about?
And so, we try to have a balanced review. We review books that you're going to find at the library. We also like to review books that maybe you wouldn't know about.
So, a smaller Christian imprint, for example, we like to review that type of book to encourage readers to read widely, to read Christian authors, to read secular authors. We like books. And so, we each bring our own specialty to the team and experience.
Janie, who's our senior editor, is a children's author. She loves history. And so, as the community relations manager, I tend to handle review requests.
So, when somebody asks us, can you review this book? It's popular. Or I'm an author.
I wrote a book. Can you review it? I'll look at the book.
I'll look at how hard is it to get? We do try to review books that are easy to find, that you might find in your local library. But then I'll look at our team.
So, for Janie, if it is going to be a nonfiction history, let's say for a 10 to 12-year-old, I know that's going to be up her alley. Meanwhile, Betsy loves poetry. She loves nature, nonfiction.
Betsy is a very, I'd say you're one of our Renaissance people. And so, I know Betsy is going to be inclined towards maybe a novel and verse. And she also likes dealing with high school books.
You've got that teacher education background, where if it is an epic poem, Betsy is going to be our reviewer. Megan is our amazing picture book author. She's super creative, loves picture books.
Megan is who I turn to when I find a picture book. Meanwhile, I used to handle as I was the team member of the team and then turned into my 20s. So, I gravitated toward YA, and I still love a good YA fantasy.
But I am now in board book land and picture books. So, I have been expanding my reach. I do serve on our middle grade fiction, so I can help out with middle grades.
But each of us will flex in, flex out. Megan has a large family of boys. And so, if it's a boy book, she is a great person.
We love to send those to her to see if her boys like them. And that's, I could keep going because we love books, but that's a big snapshot.
Laura Dugger: (7:50 - 8:09)
That's so helpful because you cover such a wide variety of books throughout your team. And as curators of book reviews, what questions are you most commonly receiving, both from young people and maybe their parents as well?
Hayley Morell: (8:12 - 9:22)
I think we often get questions like, is this book clean? Is this book safe? And we like to kind of change that question.
And we like to say, why is the content in this book? Because that can be different, you know, depending on something that is in a picture book, which wouldn't be appropriate for an age, could be very appropriate for a YA book and a great discussion starter. So, it definitely depends on the content and what audience and what age of the audience we're dealing with.
So, we try to, as people ask us, well, is this safe or is this clean? Should I read this? We want to build discernment and encourage parents to interact, parents and educators to interact with our reviews.
And they know their reader. They know how their reader is going to receive a book. And what questions might come up.
And so, we like to help interact with that conversation. And then there's another kind of question we often get, which I'm going to let Betsy answer.
Betsy Farquhar: (9:23 - 10:10)
The other question is, my kid likes blank kind of book or is blank kind of reader. What do I get for him or her? And so that, of course, can vary widely.
But people love to know what book is right for my family or my classroom or my child. And so, we try to write our reviews with that question in mind, not to make a blanket statement, you should all read this book, or nobody should read this book, but to give parents and educators enough information to make that decision for themselves. And then we started doing these reels on Instagram, where we're pretending we're answering a customer service phone call with questions we've been asked, right?
My son only likes video games, or my daughter doesn't want fantasy, but she reads these kinds of books. And so, we try to help people think that through.
Laura Dugger: (10:10 - 10:14)
So, that's really how we continue.
Hayley Morell: (10:15 - 11:09)
Sorry. And one more question that we often get because we are book reviewers is, will you review my book? And so, at that point, we do have a process.
We encourage people to submit a request. And it could be maybe a book they're curious about and would just like a review from us, or they're an author or a publisher. And so, in that case, we direct them to our review submission form.
And like I said before, we are definitely looking for books that are easy to find. That will encourage us to review a book, because while we love books that are like smaller imprints, et cetera, and we do try to provide coverage for that, we also are aware that a lot of our audience only has their library or their school library. And so, we are trying to do books that are easy to find and accessible for our readers.
Laura Dugger: (11:10 - 11:40)
Okay, that's really helpful to hear what people are writing in and asking you about. And so, hearing the sweet spot from each team member, and then Betsy, how you mentioned people love to know what's right for my family. So, no, this won't fit every situation. But can you give examples of maybe books that the four of you find yourselves recommending quite a bit because they are ones that fit a wide range of people?
Betsy Farquhar: (11:41 - 13:39)
Of course, we put a ton of recommendations in our book that came out in the fall. And those are sort of our most common recommendations. We have a place on our website called Starred Reviews.
And those are the best of the best in our mind of their genre. So, if you're looking for graphic novels, and you see a star on a graphic novel, it's because we think this is an amazing graphic novel. So, that's just a helpful framework, because of course, people are all over the map, right?
We're in the midst of whittling down our Book of the Year for this year. And we also have our Reader's Choice Book of the Year. And those books are ones we tend to recommend all the time.
So, I'm going to give you just some samples of what are on our Reader's Choice list, because that is a public list. And I can't reveal the 2025 releases we're considering for the other one. But for our Book of the Year for the Reader's Choice this year, we have The Found Boys by S. D. Smith.
We've got, I've got them all right here, Olivetti by Allie Millington. There's The Hiding Place: A Graphic Novel and the Watership Down: The Graphic Novel that are both really fun. People have really enjoyed them.
We've got the first book in The Dream Keeper Saga by Kathryn L. Butler. That's a Christian fantasy series. We've got Enemies in the Orchard, which is the novel in verse about World War II.
One Big Open Sky by Lesa Cline-Ransome, which is another novel in verse about some Black pioneers going west on a wagon train. And that might be, oh, The Puppets of Spelhorst by Kate DiCamillo. Kate DiCamillo is a super prolific author, and we do recommend her books often.
Her book, Ferris, was our Book of the Year last year. So, there's just a quick sampling of some middle grades’ books. And middle grades, for people who don't know, that's the broad fourth through eighth grade age range.
You think of like ages 8 to 12. And they tend to be the broadest in audience. You can usually read those aloud to a younger audience, or even teenagers might find them enjoyable.
So, that's a good start.
Hayley Morell: (13:40 - 14:29)
I do think one of the beauties of our team is that we've worked together for a long time. And we trust our team. And so, I will happily recommend a book that I haven't seen, but I know Betsy loved and reviewed.
And it's so fun reading the same books. So, like right now, since we're on award committees, we are seeing a lot of the same books and getting to talk about them. But I think it's one of our strengths that we each bring something to the table.
And I would say if someone really likes history, I'm going to look at what Janie has loved recently, because I know she is looking for those good new history books. And its so fun recommending books and getting to play to our strengths.
Laura Dugger: (14:31 - 16:16)
And that comes out in book recommendations. When you're passionate about what you're reading, it's naturally contagious, I think. And now a brief message from our sponsor.
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I'm curious, over the years, what character qualities have you noticed in people who are now adults, but they originally fell in love with reading in childhood?
Betsy Farquhar: (16:17 - 17:39)
So, that's a pretty broad question. I would think, I'm just going to paint this with broad strokes. People who read typically are people who think, and especially in a day and age where we're bombarded with screens and soundbites all the time, if somebody can actually read an analog book from start to finish, then typically they're going to be able to think about ideas in a different way than people who are just existing on soundbites.
So, the ability to think is pretty critical. There's been a lot of studies that show that people who read also have better empathy. It's just a way we can sort of step into somebody else's shoes, especially if we're reading a story about somebody who perhaps lived in a different time period, or they're from a different ethnic background, or even if there's just a different socioeconomic level, it helps us understand the people on the other side a little bit better.
So, that kind of, this twin characteristics of empathy and thoughtfulness, I think are pretty common. We all go through seasons where we don't read as much, whether we're stressed or perhaps, my kids are in college and they were avid readers in high school, and they're not doing a lot of reading for fun right now, but they know how to read and they enjoy it. So, they'll probably come back to that in the future.
So, I think that's a helpful thing to remember, just because your eight-year-old loves reading, when he or she is 18, they may not be reading as much, and that's okay. They'll probably come back to it.
Hayley Morell: (17:40 - 17:53)
And I've definitely seen that with younger siblings too, burning out and then all of a sudden back, asking for book recommendations. And it's fun to know that reading habits stick around.
Laura Dugger: (17:55 - 18:38)
That's well said. And yet, even if they lie dormant for a while, they may be reawakened in adulthood. But I think I find it's less common for someone to fall in love with reading for their first time as an adult.
So, I think it's very beneficial as parents to cultivate or instill this love of reading in our children. And you two are the experts. So, I'd love to hear your take on this.
What are some of the benefits of reading? And why is it worthwhile to devote our time to curating a healthy diet of books, both for ourselves, but especially for our children?
Hayley Morell: (18:39 - 20:06)
Betsy, I think you might've said this once, but I think it came up as we were talking about writing our book. As I have a small child who's just starting to notice pages and we're reading board books and he's trying to reach for it. I remember someone once said that reading to a very young child, they're not registering the story yet.
They might be registering the pictures. But the time that we're taking reading, when I read to him or when my husband gets home from work and they read one board book together, he's not really looking at the book as much as he's looking at our face and hearing our voice. And books are becoming something that we do together and that we do as a family.
And it's a way that we're building relationships. And I think that's a great encouragement to me to keep reading. And I have nieces and nephews who loved books.
And then that's something that we enjoy the story together and we'll laugh over silly stories and we'll read. But I think that it's something that as we want to like curate our collections but also think about how are we encouraging children to love reading. It's if they see us reading too and see us enjoying books and still picking up a book ourselves.
I'm not sure, Betsy, if you have anything that you would add to that.
Betsy Farquhar: (20:07 - 20:41)
Well, I just think the better we read anything, the better equipped we are to read the story in the Bible because God revealed himself to us in a written book. And so, we're sort of flexing those muscles when we read. And the more we can engage with what we read, even if it's a picture book with a five-year-old, we're beginning that practice of developing discernment.
And that's part of discipling our children. So, I do think it's all part of the same picture. It's not going to look the same for every family but just working on developing those muscles of discernment and reading intelligently, that's going to go a long way.
Laura Dugger: (20:43 - 22:07)
I love how you bring in the Bible that is so important. And I found myself even just this week at bedtime praying over our daughters that they would have a love for the written word because that is what God has gifted to us. And I love how the word became flesh and dwelt among us, but he is the original storyteller and has instilled that in each of us.
And I think just a very practical way at any age to help our children cultivate this love is by reading aloud. And we recently were on a family vacation and had a rental vehicle and we had a long drive-in front of us and listened to the radio for a while. But we also like this tradition of reading one book aloud on a vacation.
So, we remember our time in Florida from one year was a place to hang the moon and it was a different book this year, but I get car sick while we're driving. So, I couldn't read it aloud. So, our oldest daughter read it aloud for all of us.
And I realized how much attention and focus is required and imagination to paint these pictures of the characters in your mind. And I just thought, wow, there's so much learning that's going on even as the one listening to the book, not reading the actual words.
Betsy Farquhar: (22:09 - 22:15)
And a place to hang the moon was our reader's choice favorite last year. So, lots of our readers have read that one.
Laura Dugger: (22:16 - 22:36)
It's such a good one. And as wonderful as books are, they're also powerful and influential. So, as you've reiterated, discernment is required.
And I'd love for you to elaborate on why the young adult, or the YA category can be the most controversial.
Hayley Morell: (22:38 - 25:12)
Young adult protagonists are often upper teenage years. And so, we like to say, as we mentioned in our book, no topic is out of bounds. And this means that there can be a lot going on and a lot of messiness.
We like to use that word as we're talking about that. And sometimes the messiness can be thought provoking. Sometimes it can be provocative.
And we have noticed often YA deals with questions of identity. Who am I? How do I relate to the world?
And that can look like lots of different things. It can include sexual identity, which can lead to a lot of conversations. But something that we like to lean into as we look at the YA genre is that in a world where everything is constantly shifting, as you have a teen and they're encountering conversations at school, conversations with peers, or using social media, having an ever-changing feed that I can look at my Instagram feed and it's going to look nothing like a teenager's Instagram feed.
Even if you're looking at the same account, the way that reels are coming, they're getting bombarded with messages. The messiest of books is static. And you both can look at that and read the cover, read what's going on, and talk about it.
And you both have the same place to have a conversation. And so, we like to lean into that when we're looking at YA books and realize they are powerful, but they're powerful conversation starters. And books like, Betsy recently read a book, and it's called Bright Red Fruit.
And it's a cautionary tale about a teenage girl who has a relationship with an older man that's predator. And he is taking advantage, trying to separate her that is an excellent conversation starter. It's not an easy book to read.
You're reading it, getting worried for this girl, but it's a great way to say, let's read this book and let's talk about what a healthy relationship looks like, because this is not healthy. So, we love YA books that can provoke conversations. And sometimes it might be you both looking at a book and going, you know, this doesn't seem helpful.
We don't need to finish this book. It's okay to stop reading a book and return it to the library.
Laura Dugger: (25:12 - 26:11)
I completely agree. And even with that YA section, one of our daughters was just saying, when I go through that section of the library, it seems like every single book is about death. And it did provoke a good conversation from that.
But I think it was Sarah McKenzie who was the first person that I heard explain the difference between a middle grade novel or YA because from my understanding, middle grade isn't just for those grades. You even said younger ages can enjoy that and older. I have friends that only read middle grade novel now as adults.
So, it's not just your reading level, but YA has different rules on it where I think you said anything goes, any topic is allowed. So, it doesn't mean that YA is necessarily what you have to graduate to once you enter high school. Is that right?
Hayley Morell: (26:11 - 27:06)
But yes, it's typically and the funny thing that you kind of leaned into it, some middle grade books definitely deal with coming of age or might even have a teenage protagonist, but it's written in a way that a 12 year old could read it and enjoy it. When you get into like the higher YA, it is more like young adults, people starting their own lives, having adventures, leaving home, going on quests. And like you said, bringing in some heavier topics.
Now we have seen since like in the last five years, a lot of books dealing with death and grieving that are hitting that middle grade genre too, which can be helpful. But at the same time, if you're just reading sad books, you might want to change your diet and find a fun, happy book too.
Laura Dugger: (27:07 - 27:31)
Again, in a conversation like this, it has to be more general of a recommendation, but there's such a difference, I'm sure in YA for your 13-year-old versus your 18-year-old. So, for someone who does want to dip their toe into some YA books, do you have anyones that you find yourselves recommending again for that age group?
Betsy Farquhar: (27:32 - 28:42)
I'll jump in here. We've got a couple of book lists on our site that are, have actual number ages attached to them. Thirteen books for 13-year-old boys is a great one for that younger teen audience.
But those tend to be, they're grappling with some coming-of-age issues, but they tend to be more adventure based in a sense and more fun. I think of the Ranger's Apprentice series by John Flanagan. There's a little bit of language.
There's a little bit of romance, but it's very teen, young teen friendly. And its actually kind of a good picture of men being heroes and women are heroes in very, like the men are men, they're very masculine. And the women, even if they're part of the army, so to speak, they're still doing it in a feminine way.
So, it's just kind of a nice sort of entry into some of those conversations. But then if you fast forward, by the time teens are in their upper teens, they should be able to read adult books too. And so, you might find yourself reading something like Peace Like a River by Leif Enger, which is very much written for an adult market, but very accessible to teens if they're willing to grapple with some of those ideas.
But that book's going to be a lot heavier than a book for a 13-year-old.
Laura Dugger: (28:44 - 29:05)
That's helpful just to have examples. And I think it's also helpful to put this into context by reflecting back through time. So, just in America, what have you learned about the trends and the changes in libraries, specifically over the past 75 years?
Betsy Farquhar: (29:06 - 31:30)
So, I have a library degree too, so I love talking about libraries. In library science, we have a rule, it's called Ranganathan's Law, and it simply says every book is reader, which means that for every book out there, there's a reader out there. And libraries take that very seriously.
No book is off the table for a public library. We had an entire class on serving our community. So, the goal behind a public library has always been to serve the community in which it's placed.
Now that's changed a lot as our society has changed a lot. So, before World War II, most libraries were funded very locally, local taxes, they may have even been subscription-based, but after we have all these army vets coming back after World War II, they're going back to school later. We have this explosion of information access for people who can't get it.
So, the Library Services Act was the first one. We've had lots of iterations since then. Now it includes technology.
It started with giving federal dollars to rural libraries, and it's continued even to big cities now, but the focus is still on services for people who can't access them as easily. So, free Wi-Fi was a really big one before Wi-Fi was as broad spread. There are services for the blind and for other communities that might not be able to read as easily.
So, it's still sort of an information hub, but I think that makes us uncomfortable sometimes as Christians because our society has changed so much that we go into a library now and we're like, I would never read this book to my kid. Well, but your neighbor might, and the public library is not the parent of your child. The public library is serving the whole community.
So, go ahead and request them to stock some Christian books. A lot of them will buy the Christian books that you request because they want to serve you. You're part of their community.
So, I think we just have to remember that their goal is broader. My goal as a parent is far more niche than my public librarian's goal to serve her community. She's not my enemy.
Even if she's picking things for story time that I would never read to my children, it doesn't mean I have to ignore the library. I can love that those are image bearers. I can respectfully bring up my concerns, and I can suggest books and I can build a relationship with this fellow image bearer in my community.
It can be a great mission field. So, yes, libraries are continually evolving. That's why they now offer you can even check out sports equipment.
They're still trying to provide information and resources for the community.
Hayley Morell: (31:32 - 32:01)
I just recommended or requested two books that were Christian picture books that aren't in our system. And one of our librarians helped me fill out the form explaining why I wanted them. And I just got a notification yesterday. Both are on hold for me and have been added to our library. So, it's exciting. If you don't ask, you don't know if you're going to get it. I honestly was surprised. I was like, oh, they actually got the books I wanted.
Laura Dugger: (32:02 - 32:56)
It is so exciting when they do that. I love our local library, and the staff is just wonderful to work with. So, that's great encouragement for us to get to know them by name and have a relationship with them.
And just to zero in on that one piece after World War II, I think that's tied to what so many people call is it the golden age of children's literature where some people will say we only read books before a certain year, like mid-1900s. But I love that you guys review even modern books because it's not that it was all better back then. But I do think there's a piece of truth in it that libraries had to be so discerning back then with less funding.
And so maybe they had the best of the best available and then funds came in and we can have a wider range.
Betsy Farquhar: (32:56 - 33:40)
There's so many factors here historically because we could really nerd out, but I won't. But what's also being reflected is simply printmaking technology because the ability to print paperbacks, paperbacks as like a thing weren't a thing until the 20th century. So, books were incredibly expensive.
You've got all those factors playing in too. So, not only are they getting different funding, but there is an explosion in printmaking technology that allows publishers to produce inexpensive books. And that allows families and libraries to buy more books.
It's not dissimilar to the way we have digital media now that's got its own sort of technology behind the distribution of the digital books. So, there's a lot of factors involved in that.
Laura Dugger: (33:41 - 34:03)
That is fascinating. I'm glad you brought that up. And like I said, so helpful to look back.
But now if we're also looking forward, I'd really appreciate your perspective on where we're headed. So, what's on your radar for genres or books that may require even more discernment in the future?
Hayley Morell: (34:04 - 37:18)
So, right now, romanticy is having a moment and that's a genre that is getting a lot of attention. There's a lot of marketing using that language. And I think it's really helpful to realize this is a marketing term.
So, Fourth Wing became very popular. That is a book that is for adults. It has a lot of explicit sex.
But it used the term romanticy and it sold very well. And so suddenly all books that are fantasy and have some romance are being called romanticy. And that could mean a lot of different things.
So, what we're seeing is this term that if it's used in the YA genre, we don't know what it means going into a book. It might mean a lot of focus on romance and some unhelpful sex. It also could mean a really fun fantasy that happens to have a romantic angle.
So, I recently gave a starred review to A Forgery of Fate by Elizabeth Lim. That's a Chinese fairy tale, beauty and the beast type story. And it is excellent.
One of the marketing terms that used was romanticy. And it just is a wonderful fantasy story that has this thread of romance perfectly appropriate for teen readers. But that is a term that we're currently aware of.
And this is a genre that we want to notice and take with a grain of salt. It's kind of a contrast on the other side. It's differentiating between romanticy has romance and then there's cozy fantasy, which is more cottage core, comfortable feeling.
It also could have sex. So, there's, as we run into this fantasy genre, there's a lot of things going on, but it's definitely having a moment. And it's just nice to know what's going on and what cozy fantasy is going to be focused on character development, like very like a shopkeeper who inherits a cottage with a garden and grows mushrooms.
That's cozy fantasy. Romanticy is a chosen one motif who's at some dramatic school. Dark academia is also having a moment where it's a lot of angst, a lot of little bit of horror.
And some of it can be done really well because it's popular. There's a lot of it out there. And so, some discernment is required as you're figuring out, is this a book for adults or is this a book for teens?
I think I would be cautious with books that are being marketed for adults as romanticy because you could run into some things that are meant for an adult audience and might not be helpful for that teenage reader of yours.
Betsy Farquhar: (37:18 - 38:06)
The only other thing I'll add, and this is sort of a different approach, but we're seeing a lot of genre blending. It's getting harder to say this is a mystery or this is a fantasy, even this is a historical fiction story. So, I think genre fiction in general is kind of having a moment.
And when we say genre fiction, we really mean things like mystery, science fiction, romanticy, these sort of sub genres that are underneath the broader terms of realistic fiction or speculative fiction is an umbrella term that includes fantasy, dystopia, science fiction, magical realism, all the little niche downstream sort of sub genres. But we're seeing some really interesting things. It's going to be harder to automatically decide I like that genre, or I don't because they're just mixing and matching elements from all over the place.
Laura Dugger: (38:08 - 39:15)
Mm-hmm. That is helpful. I had never heard of some of those things that you just mentioned, but also I'd love for you to respond after I shared this story.
I had a previous guest, Megan Cabe, who used to run a blog. It was called Young Book Love and she would review, I think, middle grade novels, maybe a little bit of YA, but she would say most topics are beneficial to read, even if they're difficult, what you all refer to as messy books. But she did provide extra caution and just said she strongly advised against explicit sexual content because those mental images have a way of sticking with us.
And I agree with her. I would also add sometimes what's not appropriate for our children is not appropriate for us either. And just a funny way to remember this, I had a loved one recently who just said, “You can't sugarcoat a turd. I'd love your take on all of that.”
Hayley Morell: (39:17 - 41:54)
So, we like to use the term beyond ever after when we're dealing with this idea of what romance is helpful, what is not helpful. And like you said, the age of the reader comes into play because something that might be a good conversation point with your teen, let's say dealing with a first kiss, that is something that is good to be thinking about and be talking about having healthy conversations about what is God's design for sexuality. And as you are starting to notice the opposite sex and have feelings, what do we do with those?
And again and again, it's been shown that it is helpful to have these conversations because if we're not having a conversation about what is God's view and what does God want us to do with this, our young people are going to turn to the world, which is very happy to give them a lot of talk about sexuality, but some very different perspectives and answers that are focused on yourself, let's you do you versus no, what has God given us and how are we going to steward this?
So, one of the things that I like to, that we like to be aware of as we're reviewing at Redeemed Reader is, is this a 12-year-old reading this book? And if a 12-year-old is reading a book and in the book, a 12-year-old is having a crush and it's kissing, we don't want our 12-year-olds kissing. That's not that helpful yet.
I mean, that's, that's quite young and yes, in some cultures you might, but not yet. However, if this is a book about an 18-year-old on a high school trip, like Becky Dean has some really fun YA romances that are appropriate for teens, then dealing with what is it like dating? What is it like dealing with these emotions and chemistry that can be really well done for an 18-year-old?
But like you said, we want to be aware of our imaginations. We want to be aware of what we're able to handle. And for someone, maybe reading those romances is fun and helpful.
For another, it might be unhelpful. And I think that comes down to as a reader growing discernment and knowing what you are able to read that will still be edifying.
Betsy Farquhar: (41:56 - 42:55)
I'm going to piggyback a little bit. I, I agree that there, we look to scripture for what the standards are, and the Bible is not describing sexual activity in sordid detail. So, it's probably a good idea for us not to be wallowing in the same sorts of things.
And I think the same thing is true for language. In fact, it's easier to ignore profanity in a book you're reading versus listening to it. I mean, if we immerse ourselves in audio books that have, that are littered with profanity, it's going to stick in our head differently than if we're just reading it on the page.
And I think sexual activity; there are some similar dynamics at play. Obviously, a visual scene is going to be probably stick with us even more than a written scene. But either way, you know, that's part of discernment is what is my imagination doing with this?
And the overall picture of my reading diet. Is this all I'm reading? Is this what my thoughts are going towards?
Are they pointing me back to Christ? Are they promoting some helpful conversation? Or is it just sort of my guilty pleasure? Well, that should be maybe a sign.
Laura Dugger: (43:21 - 43:45)
Some love stories are described as squeaky clean. But when it comes to the world of Christian romance, what are some helpful questions that we can be asking our tween or teen? And what are some healthy considerations for filtering books that we're going to allow to be consumed in our home?
Hayley Morell: (43:47 - 47:15)
So, it's interesting. I think each genre of romance can have its own pitfalls. And I know I really appreciate the authors who are writing clean, squeaky-clean stories.
And as I've read them and consumed them, one of the things I've noticed is that it is clean. There's no question of something being clean. But at the same time, if the only thing we're reading, going back to having a balanced book diet, is a squeaky-clean story, I don't think that's helpful because it doesn't show an accurate view of the world.
And we want to be preparing our tweens and teens for a world where, yes, there is a happily ever after. Yes, we have the fairy tale wedding, or we have an imagination that is sparked by boy meets girl. But then what happens next?
And we live in a fallen world. And so, we have to work on relationships. We have to work on communicating.
And sometimes squeaky clean can lean so far into being safe that it doesn't actually show what it is like to have a relationship with the opposite sex. I think of one story I read and it's very superficial, playful. Snarky is often something I've noticed in the squeaky clean because we don't, we have to have some form of banter.
And so, it's perpetual sarcasm and no physical touch. But then suddenly our protagonists marry and now they're still being snarky and not touching. And as an adult, I look at that and go, that is not an accurate portrayal of what it looks like to have a romance and to have marriage.
And so, we love to ask, what are the relationships like in this book? And if that's in a middle grade novel, one of the things we love seeing is are they showing a healthy family? Are they showing parents that like being together?
Because that's at a middle grade level is you're sparking that imagination. What is our protagonist seeing as the adults around them are having relationships? Do the adults like to be together?
I just was reading a really sweet, Betsy, I think you read it. But Will's Race for Home is a story about this boy and westward expansion. And so, it's when the Oklahoma, Oklahoma land rush opens up.
And there's the sweetest time where he talks about how he knows his father loves his mother because his father will look at his mother and she will blush. And it's the sweetest age-appropriate picture of what romance looks like when you're a 12-year-old looking at your parents. And I think that type of thing can be a really healthy way of having these conversations versus having a diet that is just squeaky clean and yet might actually be showing an inaccurate portrayal of what it's like to have relationships in a fallen world.
Laura Dugger: (47:16 - 47:30)
Well, let's get specific on another type of book as well. How do you advise parents to think critically on what age is appropriate to consume what you mentioned earlier, the Hunger Games or a book like that?
Betsy Farquhar: (47:31 - 49:44)
Ooh, pick me. I love these kind of books. I'll read anything.
And I tend to get tasked with books that are difficult sometimes. Although many of us on our team read them and we do talk about these behind the scenes. So, when you're thinking about the age your child is and when they're ready for any book, but especially a popular one, I think part of that is our job as parents is always to be watching our children, to be students of our children.
How are they consuming media in general? What kind of video games? What kind of movies?
Are they on social media? What is their media diet like? And how are they handling that?
And if they're showing discernment in general, and they're kind of grappling with issues and ideas, then they're going to be ready for a book like the Hunger Games sooner than a child who's just blindly taking it all in. There's no magic age where you say, ooh, you're 12, you can read the Hunger Games. A lot depends on what that child's already displayed.
And I think dystopia are the books where there's some apocalyptic future and there's usually an autocratic governor or government system or it's futuresque. But they're really great books about bringing up big questions about how society works and the nature of authority and even the nature of anarchy. And they're just such great discussion starters.
But if your child isn't able to have those kinds of conversations yet, they're going to miss the forest for the trees and it's going to be all shock value. But I'm going to add a big caveat. If it's really popular and you think your child is maybe ready, maybe not quite, I would probably go ahead and read it with him or her if all of the peers are reading it.
Because I would rather my child have that conversation with me than with their friend. Or at least have it with me first before they read it with their friends. Even if we skip parts, maybe it's a book that you feel like we can't read chapter 12 for whatever reason.
Be honest with your child and say, you know what? This book has a scene I'm really uncomfortable with. Maybe give a brief summary.
We're going to keep going. But engage with your children over what is popular. I think that is the number one takeaway because they're going to find answers somewhere.
We want it to be from us.
Laura Dugger: (49:46 - 50:52)
That is good. And that's why I appreciate the redeemed reader because you're putting in all this work for us because we can't pre-read everything. But when we're faced with a situation like that, it is helpful that we can choose to read some with them.
And another angle, I just love a few of your quotes in the book. First, on page 76, you write, If Genesis were made into a true-to-the-book movie, the Redeemed Reader team would not allow our children to watch it. We might abstain as well.
And then you go on for page 111 and you say, the best tool we can give our growing readers is God's word. The more they know and understand the Bible, the better equipped they will be to think discerningly, to recognize error, and to know how the Bible handles the same issues. So, will you just elaborate on this wisdom and advise us on how and why to encourage our children to read the Bible, even though it is messy?
Betsy Farquhar: (50:53 - 52:58)
Well, it is a messy book, but thankfully, it's not only a messy book. I mean, if it were a movie, we have nudity very quickly. Then we have rebellion against God, and then we have murder.
And before you know it, six chapters in, the world is so bad that God is sending a flood to destroy it. So, it must have been really bad. But the Bible isn't giving us all those details.
And I think that is a big piece of the picture when it comes to discernment in literature. The Bible is not shy about telling us that people sinned. I mean, our heroes, David, infidelity, murder, you know, most of the famous people in the Bible did something egregiously wrong and sinful.
And yet the whole story of the Bible is God redeeming his people. We're all sinners. And there is hope because of Christ.
None of us can make it without Christ. And so, in the Bible, you're seeing both the mess and the hope. You're seeing God's answer to this problem.
And so, as we read scripture with our kids, one of the things that is helpful is we know what sin is. It's rebellion against God. It includes everything from sexual activity outside of marriage to gossip and pride and sort of the easy sins, right?
They're all sin. So, I think that's one thing that comes across when we're studying God's word. We also see Christ.
And when we then turn to a book, just a regular fiction book or even a nonfiction book, is the book also labeling sin as sin or at least a mistake? Or is it glorifying it? How is it handling it compared to how we know scripture handles it?
Is there any hope in the book? And where is that hope found? Are they just praying to the universe?
We're seeing universe capitalized all over the place now as sort of this amorphous deity. Well, that's not hopeful. I don't want to pray to Jupiter.
You know, we have a God who cares about us. And so just getting your kids to sort of reckon with the differences between how a book is portraying hope and judgment versus how scripture portrays it, that's going to take them a long way.
Laura Dugger: (53:01 - 53:23)
That's fantastic. And your book lists at the end of each chapter are reason enough to purchase the book. But I'm sure that you've encountered additional titles since your publication date that you also enjoy.
So, will you share a handful of book recommendations, maybe some from each of those sweet spots again from your team?
Hayley Morell: (53:24 - 54:03)
For young adults, we've actually mentioned both of the ones that I would add. They both have received starred reviews. A Forgery of Fate by Elizabeth Lim.
Excellent fantasy for young adults. And then Bright Red Fruit by Sophia O'Heo. And that one is a discussion starter.
It is a messy book, but it's an excellent book for its audience. Those would be two young adult fantasies. We see a lot of young adult fantasies.
So, but I would have loved to include those in the book. We just read them later.
Betsy Farquhar: (54:03 - 55:03)
So, quick correction, Bright Red Fruit's not a fantasy, but it is it is. Oh, I apologize. That's fine.
It's a discussion starter. And that usually means that there's something in there you need to know about before you read it. As a parent, I would recommend doing your homework on that book.
It's a really good book to read with your daughters, but you might want to pre-read it first. Middle grade, that's our biggest bucket. Because it's the most it's got the widest audience reach and it's just so fun.
So, some of the ones that we've really liked, The Teacher of Nomadland by Daniel Nayeri. He is a Christian author. He won the National Book Award for this book for young people's literature and a Newbery Honor.
It's fantastic. It's a story about World War II. Benny on the Case by Wesley King is a really lovely mystery that features the protagonist has mosaic down syndrome, and it's just not very common to read books with different disabilities represented.
So, that's just a really sweet story. Lots of fun.
Hayley Morell: (55:04 - 55:05)
It's a great audio book too.
Betsy Farquhar: (55:06 - 56:40)
Yes. Song of the Stone Tiger, another Christian author, Glenn McCarty. It's a kind of a mix of realistic fiction and fantasy.
So, it's fun. A new one that we like. And then I'll leave you with one more.
I actually have it right here. So, for those who are watching this, they can see it. It's called Radiant by Vonda Michaud-Nelson.
And it's a novel in verse, but a beautiful picture of what it means to love your neighbor. So, The Sword by Marty Murkowski from New Growth Press. It's kind of a family devotional resource.
It was the World Magazine Book of the Year. We gave it a starred review as well. The Amazing Generation is a book for kids by the same author as The Anxious Generation.
So, that book is like a super bestseller for adults. This is kind of taking that idea and helping kids know how not to be the anxious generation, right? How they can be the amazing generation.
The World Entire is a nonfiction, maybe technically a picture book, but it's really long. And it's for this audience. And it's a true story about World War II, about a rescue.
I think it was set in Portugal. And then a graphic novel that's nonfiction. I'm trying to cover all your different genres here.
This is How to Say Goodbye in Cuban by Daniel Meadez. It's about his father and how he emigrated or escaped from Cuba. But it's a graphic novel.
So, there's a lot of visual interest. So, that's a really interesting background for kids who are hearing a lot of headlines about places like Cuba. And they're like, what's really going on?
A book like that can help them understand just some of the nuance behind the headlines.
Hayley Morell: (56:41 - 58:51)
One of the things about middle grades as we talk about books is that middle grade is the age where readers are just exploding. And while you might have been able to keep up with your reader, then they hit 10 or 12 years old, and you give them a stack of books and they're reading them and asking for more. So, we definitely have a lot of middle grade reviews.
Picture books, though, are another place that we just love. And there's been some recent ones that we looked at and got, oh, this would be so good for the book. Something like Tuesday's Bear by Alexander Davis.
It's this beautiful story based on a true historical event. Unclaimed luggage is where, you know, if a suitcase gets lost, what happens to the contents? Well, one family had an idea, and Alexandra tells it through the story of this little bear who gets lost and then is found.
It's the most beautiful story. As a Christian, you can see a lot of very true themes running through it. And it's a delight to read aloud.
Wild Honey from the Moon by Kenneth Craigel. It's a story about a mother shrew whose little boy is sick, and she is going to do anything, even if it means traveling all the way to the moon to get some wild honey. It's a very imaginative story.
Beautiful pictures. A couple sneak peek that are going to just, these reviews are just going up. Iguanodon's Horn by Sean Rubin.
We've loved Bolivar, it was a graphic novel he did about a dinosaur. You can tell he likes dinosaurs. This is an amazing nonfiction picture book.
And for our Christian readers, this is a book about dinosaurs that doesn't have evolution. And I think you're going to love it. One more. His Grace is Enough. This is like Dr. Zeus type rhyming. Melissa Kruger wrote it.
It's a Christian book and it's a wonderful reminder for children. When you are dealing with sin, God's grace is enough. And I think you'll find if you read this, you'll be repeating the stanzas to yourself and encouraged as you read.
Laura Dugger: (58:54 - 59:41)
I love having book lists. And if any other listeners are like me, we'll finish this episode and go ahead and put a bunch of books on hold at the library, which is always so convenient. And I'm sure a lot of people aren't able to take notes right now.
Maybe they're driving or working out as they're listening to this. But I love that every episode on The Savvy Sauce now has a transcript available. So, if anybody wants these book lists, you can go to the show notes page, either on our website or click on your podcast app and the transcript is available there.
So, thank you for all those wonderful recommendations. And do you have any other helpful tips to give us as parents if we're trying to navigate this well?
Betsy Farquhar: (59:42 - 1:00:26)
Yes, start at birth and start not just reading with your kids, but asking them questions. They don't, it doesn't have to be a lengthy discussion. Is Piglet a good friend to poo?
You know, if you're reading Winnie the Pooh or if you're an Elephant and Piggy fan, like my kids were. Do you think Gerald should share his ice cream with Piggy? You can just pause in the middle of the story and just get them thinking, right?
So then when you get to the Hunger Games, you can say, what did you think of the ending? Would you have liked it to end differently? Those are great open-ended questions that get people talking and engaging and that you're often running.
If you can just think, I need to engage with my kids over what we're reading, then almost any book can be a discussion starter.
Laura Dugger: (1:00:27 - 1:00:33)
Well, where can we go after this conversation to find more of your book recommendations?
Betsy Farquhar: (1:00:35 - 1:01:29)
I'll do this one. Redeemedreader, alloneword.com is our website. And then we're super creative.
Our Facebook is exactly the same. Redeemedreader, alloneword. Our Instagram is redeemed underscore reader.
That's kind of a long story. But if you Google Redeemed Reader, you'll find us. And then the best way, oh yes, of course our book, which is also called The Redeemed Reader.
We're so original. But the best way to experience Redeemed Reader, other than the book, is through our weekly newsletter, which Haley curates and she does a fantastic job. But there's where you'll get the latest reviews.
We put in links for other places around the web that you might find interesting, different bookish news. Haley does a really fun book trivia with picture books. So, we like to think that it's going to make your inbox a happy place.
It's not a marketing email.
Laura Dugger: (1:01:30 - 1:01:50)
I love that. We will provide links to all of that in the show notes for today's episode. And you two are already familiar.
We are called The Savvy Sauce because savvy is synonymous with practical knowledge. And so, as my final question for both of you today, what is your savvy sauce?
Betsy Farquhar: (1:01:52 - 1:03:03)
So, as a business owner and a mom and a wife, it's probably not a surprise that I love my planner, but I've been through a lot of planners in my day, and I have very specific requirements. It needs to be bound, not coil bound. There's a certain size.
I mean, I have issues. I should say I have high standards for my planner. The single best feature in my current planner is that it forces me to break down my to do list between my life to do and my work to do.
And that was a game changer for me because I am wearing a lot of hats as most women are these days. And so, I limit myself to the number of bullet points that I'm given in the planner so that my work doesn't overtake my family life. It tends to be that way, sadly, more than the other way around.
Usually, my family life is not overtaking the work life, but it just it just gives me a chance to articulate each week. You know, I've got a birthday coming up that I need to plan for or I need to make sure my I mean, I graduated my youngest last year from high school, but the senior year in high school has a lot of deadlines. And so, it just helped me prioritize those milestones for my family and not let work get in the way.
Love that.
Laura Dugger: (1:03:03 - 1:03:04)
What's the name of your planner?
Betsy Farquhar: (1:03:04 - 1:03:17)
It's called the commit 30. I know there are other planners that do the same sort of thing, but I love having a weekly spread and I just love breaking it out between life to do and work to do.
Laura Dugger: (1:03:18 - 1:03:20)
Absolutely. That sounds amazing. I love it.
Hayley Morell: (1:03:21 - 1:05:10)
And my savvy sauce, I was going to say, Betsy is the planner and Betsy, I know you wouldn't appreciate this is spiral bound. So, I echo having a planner is a great way for me to just sort through all my thoughts, put them down and organize what needs to get done. But my savvy sauce is related to tech habits.
And as we were getting ready for our first, my husband and I were talking about how could we be mindful with our phone usage? And I have to thank Betsy for recommending Andy Crouch's, The Tech-Wise Family. Love that book.
And one of the things that we decided to do was to create a charging station downstairs in our house. And when I am not working where I need my phone for authentication or sending a voice message or being on the phone, if I'm not actively working, my phone lives on its charger. And that's been a struggle for me.
I have to admit the moment I had a child, anxiety kicked in. And for the first month, the phone was on me because that's what I needed to have a little security blanket. But I've been learning to leave my phone behind.
And then I'm not tempted to pick it up and scroll. And I feel like a child again because I get to the middle of the afternoon. And since I haven't been distracting myself, I've been getting things done. And all of a sudden I'm like; it's two o'clock and it's not dinner time yet. I have all of this time because I've created some more time by using the phone as a tool. But not having it right present and honestly, just distracting myself with it.
Laura Dugger: (1:05:12 - 1:05:48)
That is a good, savvy tip. I love both of those. And you two have such warm and engaging personalities.
And I love those benefits that you were talking about for people who are readers. I experienced all of that through both of you today. And you're so wise and discerning yourselves.
And I am just beyond grateful that the Lord gifted you with your intellect, but also this passion for reviewing these resources. You're benefiting so many parents and children alike.
So, thank you for the work that you do. And thank you for being my guests.
Betsy Farquhar: (1:05:49 - 1:05:57)
Thank you for having us. It is all from the Lord. Anything we have that's wise and worth taking away.
The credit should go to him, of course.
Hayley Morell: (1:05:58 - 1:06:00)
Amen. Yeah. Thank you for inviting us.
Laura Dugger: (1:06:01 - 1:09:43)
One more thing before you go.
Have you heard the term gospel before? It simply means good news. And I want to share the best news with you.
But it starts with the bad news. Every single one of us were born sinners, but Christ desires to rescue us from our sin, which is something we cannot do for ourselves. This means there's absolutely no chance we can make it to heaven on our own.
So, for you and for me, it means we deserve death and we can never pay back the sacrifice we owe to be saved. We need a savior. But God loved us so much.
He made a way for his only son to willingly die in our place as the perfect substitute. This gives us hope of life forever in right relationship with him. That is good news.
Jesus lived the perfect life we could never live and died in our place for our sin. This was God's plan to make a way to reconcile with us so that God can look at us and see Jesus. We can be covered and justified through the work Jesus finished if we choose to receive what he has done for us.
Romans 10:9 says, that if you confess with your mouth Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. So, would you pray with me now? Heavenly Father, thank you for sending Jesus to take our place.
I pray someone today right now is touched and chooses to turn their life over to you. Will you clearly guide them and help them take their next step in faith to declare you as Lord of their life? We trust you to work and change lives now for eternity.
In Jesus name we pray. Amen. If you prayed that prayer, you are declaring him for me, so me for him.
You get the opportunity to live your life for him. And at this podcast, we're called The Savvy Sauce for a reason. We want to give you practical tools to implement the knowledge you have learned.
So, you ready to get started? First, tell someone. Say it out loud.
Get a Bible. The first day I made this decision, my parents took me to Barnes & Noble and let me choose my own Bible. I selected the Quest NIV Bible and I love it.
You can start by reading the book of John. Also, get connected locally, which just means tell someone who's a part of a church in your community that you made a decision to follow Christ. I'm assuming they will be thrilled to talk with you about further steps such as going to church and getting connected to other believers to encourage you.
We want to celebrate with you too, so feel free to leave a comment for us here if you did make a decision to follow Christ. We also have show notes included where you can read scripture that describes this process. And finally, be encouraged.
Luke 15:10 says, in the same way I tell you, there is rejoicing in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner who repents. The heavens are praising with you for your decision today. And if you've already received this good news, I pray you have someone to share it with.
You are loved and I look forward to meeting you here next time.
Monday May 04, 2026
Monday May 04, 2026
Discovering Your BEST Colors and Style Upgrades for Your Closet and Home with Color and Style Consultant, Carla Gasser (Episode 292)
Romans 12:2 NLT “Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect.”
*Transcription Below*
Carla Gasser is a Christian author, speaker, and certified color/style consultant known for helping women connect faith with everyday life, focusing on spiritual and inner beauty through decluttering the soul. Based in Ohio, she's the author of The Beauty of an Uncluttered Soul, speaks at women's events, teaches Bible studies, and offers personal style guidance, encouraging authenticity and grace in messy, real-life situations.
Thank You to Our Sponsor: The Sue Neihouser Team
Questions and Topics We Cover:
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Will you walk us through exactly what you do during a color analysis?
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What are your best tips for: Make-up, jewelry color, print options, and general styling tips?
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Now that we have this information, how can we begin to edit and curate our closet?
Other Savvy Sauce Episode Mentioned:
134 Fashion Meets Faith with Shari Braendel
251 Wintering and Embracing Holy Hygge with Jamie Erickson
Connect with The Savvy Sauce on Facebook or Instagram or Our Website
Gospel Scripture: (all NIV)
Romans 3:23 “for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God,”
Romans 3:24 “and are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus.”
Romans 3:25 (a) “God presented him as a sacrifice of atonement, through faith in his blood.”
Hebrews 9:22 (b) “without the shedding of blood there is no forgiveness.”
Romans 5:8 “But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”
Romans 5:11 “Not only is this so, but we also rejoice in God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have now received reconciliation.”
John 3:16 “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.”
Romans 10:9 “That if you confess with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.”
Luke 15:10 says “In the same way, I tell you, there is rejoicing in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner who repents.”
Romans 8:1 “Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus”
Ephesians 1:13–14 “And you also were included in Christ when you heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation. Having believed, you were marked in him with a seal, the promised Holy Spirit, who is a deposit guaranteeing our inheritance until the redemption of those who are God’s possession- to the praise of his glory.”
Ephesians 1:15–23 “For this reason, ever since I heard about your faith in the Lord Jesus and your love for all the saints, I have not stopped giving thanks for you, remembering you in my prayers. I keep asking that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, may give you the spirit of wisdom and revelation, so that you may know him better. I pray also that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints, and his incomparably great power for us who believe. That power is like the working of his mighty strength, which he exerted in Christ when he raised him from the dead and seated him at his right hand in the heavenly realms, far above all rule and authority, power and dominion, and every title that can be given, not only in the present age but also in the one to come. And God placed all things under his feet and appointed him to be head over everything for the church, which is his body, the fullness of him who fills everything in every way.”
Ephesians 2:8–10 “For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith – and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God – not by works, so that no one can boast. For we are God‘s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.“
Ephesians 2:13 “But now in Christ Jesus you who once were far away have been brought near through the blood of Christ.“
Philippians 1:6 “being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.”
*Transcription*
Music: (0:00 – 0:12)
Laura Dugger: (0:12 - 1:47)
Welcome to the Savvy Sauce, where we have practical chats for intentional living. I'm your host, Laura Dugger, and I'm so glad you're here.
Thank you to the Sue Neihouser team for sponsoring this episode. If you're looking to buy or sell a home this season, make sure you reach out to Sue at 309-229-8831. Sue would love to walk alongside you as you unlock new doors.
Carla Gasser is my guest today. Not only is she a color and style consultant, but she's also an author and a Bible teacher. We're going to discuss some very practical ways that you can discover what colors are uniquely best for you and then learn also how you can incorporate those into your closet and into your home. I have been wanting to do an episode like this for such a long time.
During undergrad, I was able to minor in fashion merchandising and even got to study abroad in Europe with a group of about 50 people. It was so exhilarating, and I've just always been drawn to topics like this one. In addition, what excites me about today is the way that Carla will talk about beauty both inside and out.
I can't wait to share this conversation with you. Here's our chat. Welcome to the Savvy Sauce, Carla.
Carla Gasser: (1:48 - 1:51)
So, great to be with you today, Laura. Thanks for inviting me.
Laura Dugger: (1:51 - 1:59)
Well, I am just absolutely fascinated by your work. So, can you explain a little bit more of what you get to do?
Carla Gasser: (1:59 - 3:36)
Sure. If we're talking about the outer beauty part of my business, I was trained as a certified color analysis and style consultant by Sheri Brandel, who's the owner, founder, and CEO of Style by Color. What I love most about that training is that we're independent contractors.
So, I was able to take that certification and everything I knew and already incorporated it into what my ministry was. My ministry for the past 20 years is talking about how God makes us beautiful from the inside out. But I've always had this struggle because I've loved fashion, and I've loved dressing, and I've loved outer beauty as well, which is something that God created, right?
So, a couple of years ago after I did the certification, I kind of incorporated it, and it was easier than I thought because God is the author of beauty. God is beauty. So, because I'm a Bible study teacher and I love digging into God's word, I just focused more on that.
And my book and my Bible study is called The Beauty of an Uncluttered Soul. So, those two things just ended up meshing beautifully for me. And it also helped me reach out to a wider audience, women who are interested about outer beauty and fashion and style and color and design, but they're looking for something more, and I could provide that for them too.
So, it's been wonderful. I mean, I've really enjoyed it.
Laura Dugger: (3:36 - 3:51)
Well, it's such a unique pairing. And I think, is there anything you'd want to elaborate on for us as believers, as Christians? Why does it matter, both internal and external beauty?
Right.
Carla Gasser: (3:51 - 6:00)
I'm speaking about this next week, and I've been starting to incorporate this in when I speak because the world has distorted beauty, right? And they have hijacked it, and they have made it into something that God never designed it to be. But if we look at the other side of it, the church, I feel, sometimes has over-spiritualized inner beauty to the exclusion of outer beauty.
So, I was caught in that tension, and I think many believing women are, well, outer beauty is shallow, inner beauty is spiritual, right? And I say it's not either or, it's and both, right? That if God created the sunsets, and all the beautiful flowers, and the things that make us post these images on Instagram of his natural beauty, then God cares about beauty.
And I love it when it says he created them in Genesis, and it was very good. The only time he uses very good is when he's talking about humans, man and woman. He created them very good.
If you go back to the Hebrew word of very good, it's tov, and it means beautiful. So, when I speak to women, I say, we are going to stop right now, and we are going to say, I was created beautiful. And a lot of women don't say that, can't say that, are afraid to say that.
And I'm here to say yes, and it's okay to express that. And I don't stand up there saying, you have to look like me, or dress like me. I want you to discover your unique style, your unique beauty.
You know, it's not a one size fits all. It's not like, well, this is the trend, so you've got to wear it. I don't want to put any more pressure on women.
I want to free women to embrace their God-given beauty, if that makes sense.
Laura Dugger: (6:01 - 6:12)
Absolutely. Well, and one of the ways you do that is through color analysis, but can you walk us through like exactly what you do during a color analysis meeting?
Carla Gasser: (6:12 - 13:55)
Color analysis is having a moment, isn't it? And what I'm finding is either if you're my age or older, and I'm in my late fifties, you remember seasonal color analysis, right? And when I start talking color analysis, those women will say to me, well, in the eighties, I was a winter, I was a spring, I was a summer, right?
And what am I now? And then if you talk to my daughter's generation, like twenties and thirties, they're hearing seasonal color analysis come back to, but they're watching it on Instagram and TikTok. And they're like, well, I'm a cool summer.
I'm a neutral winter. And I'm like, what is going on? This is confusing.
So, Sherry Brandel, like I said, the owner and founder of Style by Color was one of the first people who was trained in Color Me Beautiful, the seasonal color system. So, she knows it inside and out. And what she decided to do was to take the tenets, the basics of the seasonal color system, but expand it.
So, we don't, you're not going to walk out of a color analysis telling people you're a winter. We have six unique codes, and our codes are more illustrative of what you are. So, I'm a clear, okay?
There's warm, there's soft, there's cool, there's deep, and there's light. And what we're doing, and I can show a cute little chart here that helps, what we're doing is we're basing it on the seasonal color system, but we're actually giving you more colors. Because what we're doing when I say you're a soft, I am taking the softer colors, palettes, tones, and hues of summer and fall and giving them to you.
So, the other thing that we do that other systems don't do, we take into account your hair. In many of these systems or color analysis appointments, you'll see them put a white cap over a woman's head and just look at her face. We're like, what?
Your hair has so much to do with your overall coloring. I mean, I know it's hard for you to do this but imagine me platinum blonde. Wouldn't I look totally different if I was platinum blonde and this very dark hair I have?
So, we take into account your hair color. And what we're doing is we're doing tonal color analysis, meaning I am looking at your major color dominant characteristics. Like I just said, your hair color, your eye color, your skin tone.
And now I'm not trying to determine whether you're cool or warm or neutral. That got the Color Me Beautiful system into like 24 color codes because they took every season and they broke it down like six ways and it became complicated and crazy. What we're doing is I'm comparing my skin tone to my hair to my eyes.
And we give you a rating of one to five, meaning, and it's really good if we're both on camera here, people are going to see this right away. I'm a five. I am the highest contrast level.
Can we know why? I've got really dark hair and really light skin and light eyes. So, I'm a five.
Now we look at you. You're not a five. You are a lower contrast level because your hair and your skin tone when you turn are pretty similar.
And your eyes kind of are in the middle there. So, I would put you at a three or a two. And that contrast level helps me determine your color code.
Not only that, it helps me determine what prints and patterns you should wear, what jewelry you should wear. I mean, what makeup you should wear? So, that is how we differ.
And I feel that learning the tonal part of this and understanding contrast level was a game changer for me. And that's what I teach my clients. That once you know that it's easy for me to put you in a color code.
I also use these capes behind me that help during a color analysis. But I also do things like I, you know, use patterns. You know, this is a high contrast level pattern.
So, this is going to look good on someone like me, black and white. If I put a black and white on you, you're going to look like a floating head. It's not cohesive.
But what you're going to look better in is something like this because this is medium contrast. Okay, so we do that. We also talk about pop colors.
Everybody, you know, will say, well, don't take red away from me. Red's my favorite color. Don't take blue away from me.
I wear blue all the time. I'm like, I'm not taking hardly any colors away from you. What I'm teaching you is when you go into a store and you want to know what red, well, my red and your red are very different, right?
So, I'm not taking red away from you. I'm just trying to guide you towards the right red. I'm not taking pink away from you.
Oh, one color code I do. Pink away from you. I'm just telling you, you know, I need this pink.
This is my pink, right? That's my yellow. So, that's what we do.
We break it all down. When I do mini color analysis, I'm usually in a boutique and I love working with boutique owners because then I can help people shop right after. But it's a 15-minute quick appointment.
I give you digital downloads of your colors. Like I said, every color codes gets 35 plus colors. And if you have them on your phone, when you're out shopping, you're scrolling and going, oh, I can use this.
Oh, I can use this. Not only in our digital collection, we give you the trending colors twice a year for fall and winter and spring and summer. Because we both know that colors, you know, have moments, right?
Pantone picks their color of the year, which happens to be white this year, which I'm like, that's a little counterintuitive because I don't know that white's a color, but anyways, it's a neutral. So, you have them on your phone and then you can decide and they update. I also have color cards for old school people like me that want the physical representation, and we sell those as well.
And you can put those in your purse, and you can use them. But I tell people, use them for your nail color, use them for your makeup, use them even when you're decorating your home. A lot of people gravitate to the colors that they look good in, and you can use them in other ways or even pairing colors together.
How do we do that? So that is a mini one. And in that one, I'm just giving you your best neutrals, your colors to avoid, your jewelry choices.
But when you come to my home and I do do it, I have a studio in my home, it's an hour and a half to two hour and we go through it all. You know, we go through it all. When I go into your closet, that's a whole different thing.
And I do ask that people have a color analysis before I do a closet edit. Because once we know your colors, then organizing your closet, creating and curating a capsule wardrobe becomes so much easier.
Laura Dugger: (13:57 - 14:08)
Okay, we'll have to follow up on that. But first, I'm just so curious, which color person does not get pink, the warm, warm, warm.
Carla Gasser: (14:08 - 17:23)
So, those are people usually with Auburn red hair, you know, they're in that category. So, they get all the spices. And they're the opposite of someone like me, like I can't wear anything with like a gold, yellow undertone.
You know, I can't really wear orange, the orange, I have one orange in my palette, believe it or not, but it's super bright. It's not an orange I probably would wear. One of the comments that someone made to me that said they were afraid to get a color analysis because they thought I would take too much away from them.
Right? They would I would take away their favorite colors; I would tell them they don't look good in things they look good in. Most people, it's so interesting, because sometimes when you come to my home, I ask you to bring some clothes with you, like bring something that everyone says when you walk in a room, wow, you look great in that.
And bring something that you don't ever reach for in your closet, because you're not sure of. And people are closer than they think to knowing their, their right colors. Sometimes I kind of shake them up a bit.
But I give them so much that some people say, well, I can't possibly wear all these colors. There's 36 colors here. And I try to tell people focus on your neutrals, because people have different neutrals, right?
Focus on your neutrals and then add one to two pop colors per season. Because if you try to wear every color in there, that you know, your closet is going to be very cluttered and very overwhelming. But it really helps you declutter and focus because there are stores I walk into now that I literally make one loop and I walk right back out.
Because they're all these light colors and palettes and warm tones. And I call it cafe latte dressing that you would look gorgeous in. But for me, so why would I waste my time in that store?
Right, I walk in real quick. And I've taught women how to shop, right? Because how many of us were taught how to shop, we go in, we go to the sale rack, we go in, we look for something that's trending, we go in, and we bring it home.
And we stand in front of our closet every morning and say what, I have nothing to wear. Right? I have nothing to wear because our closets are full of things that don't match with each other, that we don't feel good in, that we might have bought because we thought it was a deal.
But we don't know if they look good on us. We don't know if they work on our body shape. We don't know how to put them together with what we already have.
So, less really is more. I'm not trying to get people to go out and spend thousands of dollars on a whole new wardrobe. I ask, especially in a closet edit, we're going to work first with what you have.
And then you might have to go out and buy one or two key pieces. But really my last closet edit, she had to buy three things at the end. That was it.
To make over, we talked about, we ended up making her at least 35 different outfits with what she already had and going out and buying three pieces. That was it.
Laura Dugger: (17:24 - 20:14)
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Okay, so that also makes me curious when you talk about the colors that you put together.
Yes. Do you use a color wheel, or do you have any practical ways that we can learn how to put different colors together in our home or in our closet?
Carla Gasser: (20:14 - 22:34)
Right, that goes back to the contrast level that we talked about, and it also goes back to body shape. So, contrast level is can you wear, you know, high contrast prints or outfits? Like I can wear black and white.
Would I tell you to do that? Probably not. So, when you know what your contrast level is, that not only informs your prints, your patterns, your colors, it informs your outfits.
Here's a quick tip about dressing for your body shape. All right, we talk about inner column versus outer column. So, if you carry your weight in your belly and this is a, you know, I always tell women when I'm speaking to them, place your hands on the one area of yourself that you wish you could camouflage, right?
And some of us go to our hips. Some of us, we all have it, right? But if that is your area, your belly is your area, and I like to camouflage it.
What you want to create is an inner column. How do you create an inner column? So, if you were looking at my outfit right now, an inner column would be that this blue here, I would wear the same color pants.
I've got an inner column. And then I put this jacket over it because when you look at that inner column, there's no waist definition. There's no, it's just an inner column.
It makes me look taller. It makes me look thinner. It, you know, draws the eye up to the face.
We always want to draw the eye up to the face. Now, if your problem area is more your hips and you want to camouflage that, but you've got a smaller waist, then you do an outer column. Whereas with me, again, I keep the blue shirt. I tuck it in, but I wear black pants because black and black.
So, those are just two quick little tips that people could take away based on, you know, an inner column also works well for people who are large chested, who want to kind of camouflage this part, you know, who have kind of a roundness here and outer column again, works for people who also maybe have a more of a pear shaped or, um, not only pear shaped, but like an hourglass figure, an outer column would work better for, does that help?
Laura Dugger: (22:34 - 22:53)
Does that make sense? This is so helpful. And I'm wondering, are there any principles that apply to everyone specifically?
I mean, even thinking first when it's summer and when somebody has a tan or when they naturally start graying, how does that work? Does their color change?
Carla Gasser: (22:54 - 25:38)
Yes, it does. It does. And we can customize color decks and color codes.
So, I have a few women who are transitioning to gray. They're not there yet, but they're in between. So, what I'm going to do is pull out from their deck, anything that is yellowing or has that warmer undertone and keep her in the cool until, and I also say to people, if you come to me and like you're this one day and you say, Carol, I'm going to go red.
I'm going to be a redhead. I will color code you again for free because that's how much I believe in the system. And that's how much I believe your hair matters for your color code.
So, if you change your color code and you're my color and you say, you know, I'm going to go platinum. Yeah. I just think it'll be fun.
Come back. We will. So, you're right.
Your hair has a lot to do with it now in terms of tanning, right? Same thing. I would probably just direct you.
I wouldn't change your color code. I would just direct you to certain colors in your, in your color code more than others. If you're darker or lighter, does that make sense?
That does that's helpful. So, it's perfectly customizable. And that's the whole thing about when I tell people, when I have you as a client, you can go around and tell your friends and brag that you have a stylist because you do, you know, you can text me, you, I get a lot of texts from dressing rooms, women standing there in the mirror, taking the picture, going Carla, does this work?
Does this not work? Do these shoes work? That's what I'm here for.
I want an ongoing relationship. I don't like, I mean, I do one and dones. Okay.
If I'm in a boutique or something and you come in from out of town, you can still contact me. I do virtual, I do, you know, all these kinds of things, but I love having a client as an ongoing relationship because you might change your body, change your season of life, change. You were working now you're not, or you're going back to work, and you haven't been working.
All those things affect what you're going to wear and how you're going to wear and where you shop. I just had a woman who, you know, broke her foot and she's in a boot and she is so upset about this because we just did her closet edit. We just started thinking, well, what shoes should I wear?
So, we've been working together to modify her outfits. We've been working together to get her to a place where she still feels comfortable, but she has to wear this boot. Okay.
We can work around that. We can do that. You know, and I have people who go on vacation.
I have no idea what to pack for vacation. I could only have a carry on. We're going to create a capsule wardrobe for your vacation.
We can do that.
Laura Dugger: (25:39 - 26:09)
It is crazy to think of how much this plays into our lives every day. And so, once you learn this, I think it can save you time and money. I'm also thinking of one other principle.
We always hear about the little black dress, but the funny thing is black is the absence of all colors. So, I remember studying that black near the face, even if that's in your palette, that that's not recommended. So, I'd love to hear your thoughts on that, Carla.
Carla Gasser: (26:09 - 28:18)
Yes. I would say black near the face only works for a few of us. You're right.
And I'm one of them, right? Because of this high contrast, but I still like to break it up with color myself. I have an interesting story for you.
I had a friend who really, she should not wear black by her face at all. She is a soft color code. She got invited to a wedding and everyone had to wear black.
She freaked out. I just got my colors done. What am I going to do?
I have to go to this. I said, first of all, we have to respect the bride and groom. Yes.
This is what you want and whatever. What we did, though, is we bought her a huge, chunky leopard necklace. It broke it up and she bought leather leopard shoe shoes and wore the black.
So, there are ways. And I say to people, when I take away black from you and you have all these black clothes at home, I'm like, I don't want you to donate everything to goodwill, but we're going to think of ways to break this up. And one of the ways we break it up near the face is a larger necklace, a scarf, a third piece like this, a vest or a cardigan.
There are ways to do it without going home and saying, oh my word, I have to throw everything away. And then I'll try to redirect those people. Okay, now that you know your neutrals are no longer black, there are a lot of other great neutrals out there.
Dark brown, gray, navy. So, now when you go shopping, don't throw all your black away, but start incorporating other neutrals into your wardrobe that are softer for you and work better for you. And like you asked before, too, are there some colors that everyone can wear?
And I would, I could give you one. There's a couple, but one color that is kind of the universal color that everybody has in about the same shade is teal. It's kind of the couch you're sitting on.
If I read it correctly in your, on the video, teal is kind of a universal color. So, that's something.
Laura Dugger: (28:19 - 28:21)
I had no idea. I love that.
Carla Gasser: (28:22 - 28:22)
Yeah.
Laura Dugger: (28:22 - 28:35)
And have you ever even studied the psychology related to colors? For instance, how we can perceive people differently when they are dressed in their best color?
Carla Gasser: (28:36 - 30:08)
No, I haven't personally studied that, but I have seen women. Like I just got a testimony the other day, I was asking some of my clients, like, what would you say? And I had this young mom who said, you know, it wasn't low self-esteem that kept me dressing this way.
It was apathy. And I thought that was a really strong word. And she walked into church and she actually sings at church.
So, she's up on stage and we just talked about a few tweaks and she's like everybody said something to me after. And they said, “You sang louder, you were glowing, you were shining.” And she goes, “I felt I didn't do anything different, but just wear what we talked about and changed my clothes.”
So, I do think people notice, I think that there is a radiance that comes from within. Not only are you more confident, but I do think again, it highlights your face. And when your face is highlighted, people are attracted to that, you know?
And I always make a big point when I'm out and about doing my grocery shopping, going to the drugstore, going to the post office, and I see someone wearing the right color. I don't tell her I'm a color now. I don't go through all that.
I just said, you know, you look fabulous in that color. And I'm like, give me a big smile if they're not smiling. And they're just like, well, who is this woman?
I go, and they walk out like two inches taller.
Laura Dugger: (30:09 - 31:30)
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We appreciate you. Well, I love that you've mentioned Sherri Brandel because she's the one who founded Style by Color, but she was also a previous guest on The Savvy Sauce. So, I'll make sure and link to her fantastic episode.
And I love her testimony. But with you, Carla, at Style by Color, do you ever keep records of the percentage of people who make up each category, or have you even noticed patterns of which ones are most or least common? Yes.
Carla Gasser: (31:31 - 33:10)
I think it depends on where you live because when we get all together for consultants, because we do have continuing education, I'm part of their professional development program. So, I'm trained every month in something new, like whether it's hair or makeup or trends or just different things. But we get together once a year for our conference and we talk about where we live.
It seems to me, and I live in Northeast Ohio, kind of between Cleveland and Akron, a lot of the women in my area seem to be softs. There's a lot of soft. I do a lot of soft.
Very rarely do I do someone like me. Now, if you go down, I think in my family, I'm Italian. Most of my Italian relatives are deeps, not as clear as me because they have more of the olive skin.
For some reason, I got this very light skin. I do tan, but I don't tan on my face for some reason. You notice my arms are darker than my face.
So, I do think it kind of runs that way, kind of where you live and maybe a little bit by ethnicity or background. However, I have said to people, because we do this tonal color analysis, there can be people who are clear that don't look exactly like me because what am I doing? I'm comparing their hair to their skin, to their eyes.
I'm not comparing them to me. So, I think that's what makes this unique and makes it very customizable for people. Yes.
Laura Dugger: (33:11 - 33:19)
Makes sense. Okay. And this may sound a little overly dramatic, but how have you seen this process improve someone's life?
Carla Gasser: (33:20 - 35:30)
Oh, wow. I wish I could read you. I mean, I have some testimonials here that I was just looking through last night and to get prepared for this.
One person said, when I looked at my closet, I felt overwhelmed. I kept buying new things, but none of them seemed to solve my problem. So, many great pieces, but never seemed to be able to pull things together.
Carla came to the rescue. Her instructions on preparing for a meeting were concise and clear. And our 90-minute session flew by.
By the time we were finished, I was feeling so excited about all the new possibilities. Now I find it so easy to step into my closet, a place that once scared me. Take a quick look and decide what to wear for any occasion.
Before, I just had my colors for shopping, but now I have the missing piece of fabric and fit and how to put it all together. So, that's one of them. Another one said thanks for being such an encouragement to me, for showing me how to dress.
And so, I feel beautiful. I'm thankful that I've never struggled with self-esteem the way many women do. But for me, I had become very apathetic, knowing I could probably do better, but not really caring or getting frustrated when I tried, when I tried didn't work the way I thought it should.
You have helped me to see what many times I've picked close to the right colors or I've settled for good enough when I could have added pieces to make it beautiful. Thank you for listening and obeying what God asked you to step out into this vocation to make women feel beautiful from the inside out. You've been a blessing.
So, I do think it has changed women. I have had women say I spend less money. I spend less time.
I feel more confident at work. I feel more confident like she said at church, you know, being in front of someone. So, yeah, I think it makes a measurable difference in people's lives.
If they apply it, you know, I think there are women who are one and done that come in, they just want to know what their colors are, and they walk out and you know, but even that does add something to your life, I think. So, yes, I do think it makes a difference. It's definitely personally made a difference in my own life.
Laura Dugger: (35:31 - 35:35)
So, anything you'd want to elaborate on that how it's made a difference in your own life.
Carla Gasser: (35:36 - 38:10)
I think I had gotten into kind of similarly to the testimonial I just read of someone of just, you know, not caring. You know, I had four kids at home. I was running everywhere.
I wanted what was comfortable. I wanted what was quick. And what happened was I had gotten into this really gray phase, not realizing that the gray was really reflecting how I was feeling on the inside.
And after I was, I went to a speaker's convention, because I'm also a speaker and Sherry actually did my colors. She was at this event. And so, I met her in person, and we have become great friends since I came home and I started changing it and I have three boys and a girl.
Who do you think noticed that I was changing before? It was my boys. And my one son said to me, “I love that you're wearing brighter colors.
It reminds me of when I was younger, that you always wore colors like that when I was little. Like I always remember my mom showing up and she was in and he goes, and you haven't done that in a long time. And I thought there's something more like we were talking before about the psychology.
I would also feel like it was a spiritual thing too, for me that I had kind of just settled in a lot of ways. And I think women think that they're hiding in bigger clothes or in drab colors because they don't want to be seen or they don't feel their worth or they have shame, they have regret, they have all these things. And I used to also when I would dress up and go places, have you ever had people say to you, why are you so dressed up?
Why are you wearing that? And it would make me shrink. It would make me feel awful.
Like I'm not trying to show you up. I'm not trying. I just, this is what I like to wear.
And I changed that total attitude around. And we would go out with the group of women. They're like, there you are, Carlo.
What are you wearing that for? And I said, you know what? I'm your fancy friend.
Call me your fancy friend. I'm going to dress up like your fancy friend. And when we go places, this is what I feel like.
And I said, and if you want to wear sweats, I don't care. That's what makes you comfortable. That makes you feel good about yourself.
But I feel like sometimes we dress for other women and other people before we dress for ourselves.
Laura Dugger: (38:11 - 39:13)
Well, that's really good. And even how you mentioned there's a spiritual component. I think of Jesus teaching on so many object lessons and that he would use something external to talk about the internal spiritual condition.
And it reminds me of another guest, Jamie Erickson, who wrote the book on holy Hygge, just on that concept of our inner life will be reflected outwardly as well. And last piece, just with the psychology, I do remember one thing with the psychology of color, just that when somebody is in their best palette, that we naturally trust them more. And so, it's just unique, all the things that we're probably unaware of, but this really does matter.
Absolutely. And so then beyond just our clothing, can you share some more of your best tips? I'm thinking makeup and jewelry, colored print options, and just your general styling tips.
Carla Gasser: (39:14 - 43:53)
I think one other demonstration that I do a lot, too, that I do with women is I think we undervalue the importance of accessories, that you could take a very simple outfit and change it up with accessories. And it's not buying more clothes. It's just taking things off, adding things.
And so, I went to a women's group here in town and I wore a basic jumpsuit. And I told them, this is how I would wear this jumpsuit if I was just running out and about. And I put tennis shoes on.
I put a simple necklace on, simple handbag, one out. And they're like, great. I said, okay, now I'm going to meet some friends for lunch.
Same jumpsuit. Put sandals on, put a little cardigan on, put a thicker necklace on. So, I was teaching them, you could take one outfit and style it three to four or five different ways just by accessories.
So, that's one tip. I would say don't neglect or overlook accessories. The other thing is, know what accessories work for your frame.
If you've ever seen a woman who's like 5'10", wearing a purse this big, it doesn't work. Likewise, someone who's 5'2", wearing one of those huge canvas tote bags, you've got to match your accessories to your frame. Right?
So, if you're, you know, 5'2 and under, your accessories need to be more delicate and smaller to fit you. Likewise, like someone was saying, but, you know, I love those statement necklaces that you wear. And I'm only five, you know, my mom is tiny.
She's only like 5'1", 5'2". And I'm like, what you can do if you want to achieve that effect is layering your necklaces. They're all tiny and delicate.
But if you put three of them together, you're giving the illusion of having something more, but it's not overpowering you, something like that. So, I think those two tips that women, you know, can overlook is accessorize. And one tip that Sherry gave that revolutionized it for me, and I didn't believe her when she first told me this tip, and yet she stands by it.
And now I stand by it. When we were growing up, my mom said that your shoes must match your purse or your handbag. That was a rule, right?
Sherry does not believe in that rule. She says your shoes must match your hair. So, I thought about that because I wear all different color shoes, but I had gone to a wedding that summer and I wore a red dress to the wedding.
It's one of my best colors, right? But that was the time when those nude shoes were really popular. You know what I'm talking about?
They were kind of patent and nude, and they were, you know, rounded toe, high heel. And I thought, well, I'm not going to the prom. So, I'm not going to buy red shoes, right?
I need to buy a neutral shoe to go with a red dress. So, I went back and looked at a picture of myself in that red dress standing next to my husband in those shoes. And it looked like I was floating.
I took that dress on, but again, I put black shoes on, and I took a picture of myself and I put them side by side because I needed proof. I need visual proof. Totally different look.
Because what she says is when you're wearing all one color, a lot of times one color and outfit, your shoes and your hair frame your outfit. And I can show you picture after picture where it works. And when I speak to women, I put those pictures up there and they're like, and I'm like, I know, isn't that crazy.
And she also says your handbag should match your hair, your everyday handbag. Nine times out of 10, I asked this question, if I gave you $500 and you could go buy a really nice designer handbag, what color would you buy? 75 to 80% of women say what?
Probably black, black, right? They all say black. And then I'll show them pictures of how much better a woman looks pulled together when her everyday handbag, that doesn't mean you can't wear a pink handbag or, you know, to spice up your outfit.
If it's part of your accessory look, that's not saying that, but your everyday standard handbag that you're going to invest money in, that's going to be with you for several years should match your hair.
Laura Dugger: (43:54 - 44:04)
Wow. That is so interesting to me. And I think it would be fun to do pictures, the before and after, and just see that sometimes those visuals are helpful.
Carla Gasser: (44:04 - 44:12)
They help a lot, but you'll start noticing it now or go online and start looking. I'll tell the women to do that and they'll, they'll be blown away.
Laura Dugger: (44:13 - 44:21)
Well, and now that we do have all of this information, how can we begin to edit or curate our closet?
Carla Gasser: (44:23 - 47:24)
So, when I do a closet edit, I do give them some homework to do before I get there. And I ask them to go through their closet and do, um, for three to four things. First thing is pull out anything that you're going to donate or consign.
Okay. If you haven't worn it in two years, if it's stained, if it's, you know, that might be a throwaway, but you're going to make those piles, give away, throw away, and then maybe consign if it's something really good. And, you know, this is also based on first having a color analysis.
Like I said before, if you don't have a color analysis, it's very hard for me to go into your closet. Okay. So, that's one thing you do next thing.
We pull up anything that is seasonal from your closet. If you're not wearing it now, because you live where I live and you're not wearing sleeveless or shorts or whatever, put that in a bin, put it away. The other thing is put away a trendy.
Okay. Skinny jeans were a thing, and everybody loved their skinny jeans. Do I think skinny jeans might come back?
They might, if they, if you still like them, if they still fit you, put them in a bin, put your trending kind of clothes, long cardigans aren't in right now. How many long cardigans do you have? You probably have five, you probably have six and you probably love them.
It's okay. I'm not telling you to throw them away, put them in a bin and we're going to store those someplace else. So, there are certain things that you could start doing.
The other thing that I think is very helpful is I line my closet up with my neutrals first, and then my colors, you know, white, black and gray and Navy are my neutrals. I lined those up. Then I start lining up my colors and my patterns.
So, I think that's a very helpful way because, you know, putting outfits together becomes a lot easier because I pick a neutral, I pick a pattern, I pick a color, you know, kind of like you're probably too young for animals where the kids had to match the tags. When we were little, it was like, we went to the store and there was a, you know, a clothing line called grant or animals. And like, you match the monkey with the monkey, the monkey had on the top, the tag was like a monkey and the tag in the bottom.
There you go. There's your clothes. So, I mean, there are systems.
I also love boutiques. And I'm noting that noticing this more about boutiques that are color coded. There's a boutique in my town that you walk in, and she's got all the beige and neutral colors here.
She is all black and white here. She has all her blues here. And wow is easy to shop when they do that for you.
And I think that's coming back. I'm seeing that more, like I said, in independently owned boutiques. I don't think you're going to find that as much.
But even I went into the loft the other day and they had their clothes kind of in a color. So, that I think helps too. That helps a lot.
Laura Dugger: (47:25 - 47:37)
That's a great tip for organizing our closet. And is there any edit that you would want to make to our makeup bag or addition that you just think everybody should try?
Carla Gasser: (47:39 - 48:58)
We work with a company that does lipstick and lip gloss by color code. And it's called Lipstick Boss Beauty. And I sell that as well.
And I think women underestimate the power of a lip. Now, because I'm so pale, I absolutely need it. You know what I mean?
But even for people who aren't pale, she sells them by color code. And I have samples with me, and I always have women try it on. And they are so surprised at how it brings the look together.
You know, I know a lot of women are intimidated by a lot of makeup, eye makeup, whatever. But I say if you put on a lip gloss, a good foundation and blush and mascara, you don't have to worry about the rest if you're not into it. If you're into it, great, go.
But I also said when you go to Sephora or Ulta or even your local drugstore that has a lot of good makeup that you probably can use, bring your colors with you. That will help you pick out a blush. That will help you pick out a lip color.
But yeah, I think women totally underestimate just a simple lip gloss, tinted lip gloss or lipstick. I think it really pulls things together.
Laura Dugger: (48:59 - 49:11)
And I love, I love that idea and just all of your offerings. So, if anybody wants to give this a try, can you share more about the resources that you have available?
Carla Gasser: (49:12 - 51:51)
Yeah, I would think that the best place I would send them to is my website, which is just my name, www.carla, with a C, Gasser, G-A-S-S-E-R. And on there, there's a page that has all of my services. And one of the things on there that I keep telling women to take advantage of, you could book a free 15-minute consultation with me.
I do that for everyone. If you just don't even know where to start, and you're like, I just want to learn more. I just want to know how I could do this.
Also, my first client ever was from Canada, virtually. When I first got, you know, she had followed me for my faith resources and all of that. And when she saw I got certified, she reached out to me, and I can do virtual appointments.
If you send in your photo to me, we have a whole system of plugging it in and working through it. And we put a whole presentation, I create a customized presentation for you, and I send it to you. But we talk like this, but you know, I take your photo and I put it into kind of capes like this, but they're digital.
And we see, and so yes, but I would start with looking at my page and then booking that free 15-minute consultation to just ask me, you know, where do I start? What do you offer? And everything's listed there.
So, I also, if you want to be part of my email list, you could sign up online on that same page and you get access to a free style personality quiz. Because style personality, we talked about it a little bit earlier that you don't have to dress like me. We have four style personalities that we kind of curate, but I created a quiz so that you can kind of answer these questions and figure out, oh, I lean more towards this.
And once we do that, then I can tell you more what places to shop because I'm not going to send someone who is more of a casual, a natural chic to a Chico's. That doesn't fit their style. They would probably go to J.
Joe, you know? So, it's kind of that kind of a thing. So, that's just a fun little freebie that I give away if you want to sign up.
And my email list, I usually, my newsletter goes out almost every Tuesday or Wednesday with different tips. I give you links to things. I give you examples.
I'm really good about showing you pictures of things. We talk about trends. We talk about all kinds of things.
So, yeah. And that's just free to be part of my newsletter.
Laura Dugger: (51:52 - 52:11)
That is incredible. We will certainly link to all of that in the show notes for today's episode, which you can find on your podcast platform. Or if you go to thesavvysauce.com under show notes, you can find all of the links for today's episode. And are you willing to share, what are those four? Did you say personality?
Carla Gasser: (52:12 - 53:39)
Yes. One is called natural chic. The next one is called classic modern.
The third one is style fashionista. And the fourth one is creative original. So, I ask you a ton of questions based on like, what do you feel comfortable in or what fabrics you like?
And based on that, you add up, you know, kind of, and if you're mostly A's, you're this, if you're mostly B's, you're this, C's, D's. So, it just helps you. Because again, I think that is a missing piece for a lot of women.
They don't know what their style is. And so, they look at someone like, oh, I love that. But why doesn't that look good on me?
I go, well, does it feel like you? Well, if it doesn't feel like you, then that's why you're not comfortable in it. You know?
And like I said, you know, I like to push the envelope a little bit more. I am not going to be, you know, a classic modern. I am more of a style fashionista or creative original.
I mean, I found this, this is like an old, in a boutique in Italy of all places. If you see, it's kind of like got these raw edges because they took a man's old suit jacket, cut it, and then put all these pearls on it. I mean, you're not going to find that.
And not every person wants to wear something like crazy as that, but I love it. You know? So that's my personality.
But someone else is just like, I just love silk and linen and good cotton. And I like to feel comfortable. Great. I can recommend tons of clothes for you and tons of places to shop.
Laura Dugger: (53:40 - 53:43)
I love that. Well, and I think that piece is so fun.
Carla Gasser: (53:43 - 53:44)
Thank you.
Laura Dugger: (53:44 - 54:09)
And it's so great to see how you dress everything to your personality and you reflect beauty inside and out. But Carl, I think you may already be aware we're called the Savvy Sauce because savvy is synonymous with practical knowledge or insight. And so, as my final question for you today, what is your Savvy Sauce?
Carla Gasser: (54:11 - 55:06)
I would say my Savvy Sauce is allowing God to transform me from the inside out and make me beautiful. I love the clothes. I love the fashion and the colors.
I've talked to you about it for over an hour. I could keep talking about it. It is a passion of mine, but if there was a secret Savvy Sauce to that, it would be inviting God in to transform me and make me beautiful from the inside out, because there are a lot of beautiful people out there, right?
But if they're not reflecting God's beauty, then we're missing it. And when I want people attracted to me, it's so that I can share with them the hope that's within, not so I can tell them where to get the best shirt or wear the best color. I want to ultimately bring them the hope of Jesus.
That's why I do it. So, that's my Savvy Sauce.
Laura Dugger: (55:07 - 55:40)
Well said, Carla. You are a beautiful woman with a beautiful combination of giftings. I just love that you're a Bible teacher and a color analysis or consultant.
And that's in addition to the many other roles that you hold. But practical chats really do help us to live intentionally. And you've done that for us today.
So, thank you for sharing your fascinating career with us. I love your expertise and I really enjoyed getting to host you. So, thank you for being my guest.
Carla Gasser: (55:40 - 56:05)
And thanks for doing what you're doing. I love stuff like this. This is great.
And it's bringing women together. And like you said, it's giving them that practical knowledge that we all need and can look for. There's so many places that you can go to, and not all of that knowledge is uplifting or leading you in the right direction.
So, I'm thankful for people like you who do what you do as well. So, thank you.
Laura Dugger: (56:05 - 59:22)
Thank you. Appreciate that. One more thing before you go.
Have you heard the term gospel before? It simply means good news. And I want to share the best news with you.
But it starts with the bad news. Every single one of us were born sinners, but Christ desires to rescue us from our sin, which is something we cannot do for ourselves. This means there's absolutely no chance we can make it to heaven on our own.
So, for you and for me, it means we deserve death and we can never pay back the sacrifice we owe to be saved. We need a savior. But God loved us so much.
He made a way for his only son to willingly die in our place as the perfect substitute. This gives us hope of life forever in right relationship with him. That is good news.
Jesus lived the perfect life we could never live and died in our place for our sin. This was God's plan to make a way to reconcile with us so that God can look at us and see Jesus. We can be covered and justified through the work Jesus finished if we choose to receive what he has done for us.
Romans 10 9 says that if you confess with your mouth Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. So, would you pray with me now? Heavenly Father, thank you for sending Jesus to take our place.
I pray someone today right now is touched and chooses to turn their life over to you. Will you clearly guide them and help them take their next step in faith to declare you as Lord of their life? We trust you to work and change lives now for eternity.
In Jesus name we pray. Amen. If you prayed that prayer, you are declaring him for me, so me for him.
You get the opportunity to live your life for him. And at this podcast, we're called the Savvy Sauce for a reason. We want to give you practical tools to implement the knowledge you have learned.
So, you ready to get started? First, tell someone. Say it out loud.
Get a Bible. The first day I made this decision, my parents took me to Barnes and Noble and let me choose my own Bible. I selected the Quest NIV Bible and I love it.
You can start by reading the book of John. Also, get connected locally, which just means tell someone who's a part of a church in your community that you made a decision to follow Christ. I'm assuming they will be thrilled to talk with you about further steps such as going to church and getting connected to other believers to encourage you.
We want to celebrate with you too, so feel free to leave a comment for us here if you did make a decision to follow Christ. We also have show notes included where you can read scripture that describes this process. And finally, be encouraged.
Luke 15:10 says, "in the same way I tell you, there is rejoicing in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner who repents." The heavens are praising with you for your decision today. And if you've already received this good news, I pray you have someone to share it with.
You are loved and I look forward to meeting you here next time.