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Practical Chats for Intentional Living
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Monday Aug 19, 2019
Monday Aug 19, 2019
67. Thriving at Work, Home, and Life with Author, Blogger, Podcaster, and Business Owner, Crystal Paine
**Transcription Below**
1 Timothy 4:16 (AMP) “Pay close attention to yourself [concentrate on your personal development] and to your teaching; persevere in these things [hold to them], for as you do this you will ensure salvation both for yourself and for those who hear you.”
Crystal Paine is the founder of MoneySavingMom.com, host of The Crystal Paine Show podcast, New York Times bestselling author of Say Goodbye to Survival Mode and author of the book, Money-Making Mom. Crystal started MoneySavingMom.com in 2007 to provide practical strategies to help women cut their grocery bill and and live on less than they make. It has grown to be one of the top personal finance blogs on the web averaging over 1.5 million unique visitors per month. In 2017, Crystal started another blog, YourBloggingMentor.com, to teach beginning to intermediate bloggers how to make a part-time to full-time income blogging. She offers courses and blog coaching at YourBloggingUniversity.com. Crystal has been featured on Good Morning America and FOX Business, she's been spotlighted in articles inWoman's DayandAll Youmagazine; and has earned nods via The Today Show, National Public Radio, CNN, USA Weekend,Shop Smartmagazine,Real Simplemagazine, and numerous other national outlets. Her desire is to help women across the globe live with more passion, purpose and intention in their everyday lives. She lives in the Nashville, TN area with her husband and three kids.
At The Savvy Sauce, we will only recommend resources we believe in! We also want you to be aware: We are a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for us to earn fees by linking to Amazon.com and affiliated sites.
Crystal’s Websites:
Chasing Excellence by Ben Bergeron
Emotionally Healthy Spirituality by Peter Scazzero
The Total Money Makeover by Dave Ramsey
Sacred Rest by Dr. Saundra Dalton-Smith
Banana Chocolate Chip Muffin Recipe
Crystal Painel’s Favorite Decaf Teas
Crystal Paine’s Blog Posts:
How I Drink a Gallon of Water Every Day
How I Listen to Audiobooks for Free
Crystal Paine's Social Media Handles: @themoneysavingmom @yourbloggingmentor
Say Good-Bye to Survival Mode by Chrystal Paine
The Money-Saving Mom’s Budget by Chrystal Paine
Money-Making Mom by Crystal Paine
Thank You to Our Sponsor: Neal Beer with Country Financial
Connect with The Savvy Sauce on Facebook or Instagram or Our Website
Please help us out by sharing this episode with a friend, leaving a 5-star rating and review, and subscribing to this podcast!
Gospel Scripture: (all NIV)
Romans 3:23 “for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God,”
Romans 3:24 “and are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus.”
Romans 3:25 (a) “God presented him as a sacrifice of atonement, through faith in his blood.”
Hebrews 9:22 (b) “without the shedding of blood there is no forgiveness.”
Romans 5:8 “But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”
Romans 5:11 “Not only is this so, but we also rejoice in God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have now received reconciliation.”
John 3:16 “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.”
Romans 10:9 “That if you confess with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.”
Luke 15:10 says “In the same way, I tell you, there is rejoicing in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner who repents.”
Romans 8:1 “Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus”
Ephesians 1:13–14 “And you also were included in Christ when you heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation. Having believed, you were marked in him with a seal, the promised Holy Spirit, who is a deposit guaranteeing our inheritance until the redemption of those who are God’s possession- to the praise of his glory.”
Ephesians 1:15–23 “For this reason, ever since I heard about your faith in the Lord Jesus and your love for all the saints, I have not stopped giving thanks for you, remembering you in my prayers. I keep asking that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, may give you the spirit of wisdom and revelation, so that you may know him better. I pray also that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints, and his incomparably great power for us who believe. That power is like the working of his mighty strength, which he exerted in Christ when he raised him from the dead and seated him at his right hand in the heavenly realms, far above all rule and authority, power and dominion, and every title that can be given, not only in the present age but also in the one to come. And God placed all things under his feet and appointed him to be head over everything for the church, which is his body, the fullness of him who fills everything in every way.”
Ephesians 2:8–10 “For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith – and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God – not by works, so that no one can boast. For we are God‘s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.“
Ephesians 2:13 “But now in Christ Jesus you who once were far away have been brought near through the blood of Christ.“
Philippians 1:6 “being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.”
**Transcription**
[00:00:01] <music>
Laura Dugger: Welcome to The Savvy Sauce, where we have practical chats for intentional living. I'm your host Laura Dugger, and I'm so glad you're here.
[00:00:17] <music>
Laura Dugger: Today's sponsor is Neal Beer. Neal is a country financial representative located in Germantown Hills, Illinois. He focuses on risk management as part of a good financial plan. You can find him online or give him a call today at (309) 383-2566. Thanks for your sponsorship.
My guest, Crystal Paine, embodies our tagline of sharing practical chats for intentional living. She is a work-at-home mom who's been helping families gain control of their finances and be purposeful in the way they spend their lives. She's an author, blogger, podcaster, and business owner.
Today you can expect to learn how to have an abundant life as it relates to anything going on in your own season, whether that's at work, stewarding your money well, or investing in the most meaningful relationships around you. No doubt you will leave with plenty of simple ideas to implement.
Here's our chat.
Welcome to the Savvy Sauce, Crystal.
Crystal Paine: I'm so excited to be here.
Laura Dugger: Let's just begin with you sharing a glimpse of your story with us. So my husband and I got married about 16 years ago. We had set this goal that we were going to go through law school and we were going to stay out of debt.
That's really kind of what started my journey of having an online business and all of that because we were starting in and I was working part-time as a nanny for some different families. And then I found out that I was pregnant. And I was super excited to be pregnant, but then also super sick. So I had to come home and just really pave a path from the bed to the bathroom for a number of months.
While I was in bed, just started researching everything that I could about making money online and just fell into blogging. From there, I never ever, ever would have dreamed I'd be doing what I am doing today. But, you know, to look back and see God's hand through that, those lean law school years, and then how God was really paving the way for this business and this ministry that my husband and I do together full-time now, we just never could have dreamed or envisioned that.
I have three kids. They're 14, 11, and 9. And three businesses kind of sort of because of Money Saving Mom. Then I have End Your Blogging Mentor, which is another blog that I run. And then I have Your Blogging University, which is where I teach people to make a part-time to full-time income from blogging. [00:02:53] So between that and just life and then serving our church, life is very full.
Laura Dugger: Well, it's been incredible. For those listening who have never checked it out before, it's MoneySavingMom.com that you can start with online. I love it there when you post about the amazing books that you've read recently. I would just love to know, how do you prioritize reading with everything else that you have going on?
Crystal Paine: I think it starts with the desire to make reading a priority and then figuring out, okay, where am I going to fit it in in my life? Where are those cracks of time that I can fit it in? So for me right now in this season of life, because of my kids being older and there's a lot more responsibilities for me with that, just a lot of activities and things, and they just want to stay up late at night and talk, which used to be kind of a time that I would read, I have been moving more toward audiobooks. [00:03:47]
So I love the Libby app. It is a free app that you can get through your library, and they have books that you can check out. I typically listen to books while I am doing my hair and my makeup in the morning, and then also when I am driving, if I'm by myself, or if I'm cleaning or cooking.
That's where I fit in the bulk of my reading is through listening. But then also in little bits of time, I always have a real book going as well. I read a lot last weekend. I was sitting at my son's football practice, and so I got some reading in there. I will read if I'm just waiting at a doctor's office. I always have a book with me. I found that if you just always have a book with you, you'll find those little cracks of time to fit in reading.
Laura Dugger: That's such great advice, because if we're waiting for this 30 minutes of uninterrupted time, it may be less likely to happen. So that's a good tip. If you had to name your top five most transformational books of all time, what would they be? [00:04:47]
Crystal Paine: This is like asking me which kid is my favorite, because I've read so many books over the years. Because since the time that I was young, I've just been a voracious reader. The first would be the Bible, absolutely.
But then also Abandoned to God by David McCasland. That is a book that I read when I was in my early teens, and that I just really see that God used to save me. And it just had a really powerful impact on the trajectory of my life. So I always look to that book as one of the most impactful books.
Then I'm going to cheat a little bit, and I'm going to say the top three books from 2018, because that was easier for me to come up with five. So that was Mom Set Free by Jeannie Cunnion. That book is just really fantastic. If you are a mom who is struggling with feeling burdened by the weight of perfectionism, or you're feeling like you need to be doing more or trying harder, or you're just not doing enough, or you're failing your kids, it's a fantastic read for that. [00:05:49]
Also Chasing Excellence by Ben Bergeron. He is a CrossFit coach. I've done some CrossFit, and I love to watch the CrossFit athletes, but I'm not this huge CrossFit person. However, this book was so... just really deeply touched me and kind of motivated me at this core level, because when he talked about excellence, and I realized how I'd kind of gotten this rut of chasing after mediocrity. I was like, it's working. It's good. It's okay. And that's not how I want to live my life.
As a result of reading that book in 2018, I chose the word "excellence" for 2019 and just really changed a lot of how I was approaching my life as a result of it. So even if you're not an athlete or don't care about CrossFit, I feel like there's a lot of value in that.
And then finally, Emotionally Healthy Spirituality. This is by Peter Scazzero. I think that's how you pronounce his last name. It's all about how your emotional health and your spiritual health are so intertwined and how often we have so much baggage from our past that we are carrying around that we are living out of.
And so we're acting out of these hurts in our past that we've never worked through and these wounds in our past, and how when we go back and we work through those things, it gives us so much more ability to live in a healthy manner and approach life in a much more healthy manner. [00:07:15]
Laura Dugger: Wow. That's such a well-rounded list of books. Thanks for sharing. We will definitely link to all of those in our show notes and on our "Resources" tab. From your years of experience as a money-saving expert, what trends do you see where people are overspending in general?
Crystal Paine: I feel like this kind of ties into the Emotionally Healthy Spirituality like we were talking about. I feel like so many people have these core wounds and things from their childhood that they have never dealt with, and so it's causing them to act out of that in their adult years.
I will talk to so many women who they are buying things in order to fill an emptiness that is in their heart. Or something happened in their childhood, for instance, maybe they weren't allowed to have certain things, so in their adulthood, then they will want to kind of almost go overboard in that area, or their parents were really strict in certain areas.
I see how there's patterns from our childhood that then play into unhealthy patterns in our adulthood. [00:08:19] That is, for me, I think a lot of it's on a deeper level. It's sometimes this core stuff where we're trying to fill something in our heart through buying stuff that buying stuff can never actually satisfy.
Laura Dugger: How do you recommend they regain control over this area of their life?
Crystal Paine: I think in all areas, like if we are struggling in a certain area, so if you're overspending or you feel like there's not enough money at the end of the month, to really start with asking why. Like where is this coming from? What is the root of this? And looking at all your expenditures and really taking an honest assessment of where your money is going and starting there. So then it's like, Oh, well, look here. We're spending this much on this. And then to ask yourself why and to really dig into that, I think that can be very helpful.
A lot of people don't even know how much they're spending. I think a great starting place is just to take that overall assessment and then to drill down and to say why and to really ask yourself, is this a necessity? Is this something that's really making an impact in my life? Or am I just paying for this because I feel like that's what I'm supposed to do or that's what I've always done? [00:09:38] I just don't even think of looking for a less expensive option.
Laura Dugger: And if they're interested in taking that assessment, how would you recommend they do that? Is there an app online or just carrying around a notebook and documenting their spending?
Crystal Paine: I think it really depends upon your personality type. I always recommend if people are in a lot of debt or they're struggling to get on a budget, starting with Dave Ramsey. His Total Money Makeover book is a great place to start to just get some helpful step-by-step advice for getting a handle on your money.
But then one app that we really love and we use is called YNAB. That stands for You Need a Budget. They have a free 30-day trial. I think it's so fantastic. If you've never had a budget before, they're so great about helping you to set up a budget and to test it out to really see all of your budget at a glance so you can see what you're spending. And then they walk you through the process of being able to do a better job of spending your money more intentionally. [00:10:40]
Laura Dugger: That's good. So it sounds like a starting place is knowing where your money is going and creating a budget. Is there any other low-hanging fruit as it relates to saving more money?
Crystal Paine: I think that many, many families, especially in the U.S., are spending more money than they need to spend on fast food and groceries. Everybody needs to eat, and everybody needs to buy groceries. But it's an area where a lot of times people just go to the store and they spend because they're like, well, I need to eat, and they're never actually paying attention to how much they're spending or shopping a little bit more strategically.
I like to help people change their mindset. And that's one reason why I share my shopping trips on Instagram and on Facebook and on my blog, because I want people to see that there are other options. So for our family, we shop extremely strategically. It could feel overwhelming for someone who's brand new. But just starting out with having a budget, knowing how much you're spending, and saying, "Okay, we're going to try to lower this money that we're spending on fast food or on groceries by 1% to 3% every month for the next six months. We're just going to challenge ourselves to do that." [00:11:48]
I think that a lot of the overspending or the spending more than you need to happens with impulse buys, and I think it happens with not knowing that there are other options, and I think it happens because there's a lack of contentment. So I think that those are kind of the key things.
If you can start researching and looking for some other options. Like I said, I try to really expand people's mind to think, Oh, wow, so she's feeding her family of five for $70 a week. Maybe that wouldn't work for us, but could we cut our grocery bill down to $130 a week? And if so, then how would we do that? Oh, well, maybe we would shop based upon what's on sale at the store. Maybe we would look and start our grocery menu for that week based upon what we already have on hand.
One thing that I encourage people to do to really help you as you're working on your finances is to consider challenging yourself to do a no-spend week or even a no-spend month. [00:12:51] And by doing that, you're going to learn a lot about yourself, but you're also going to challenge yourself to realize where you're spending money, where you're discontentment lies, where you want to impulse buy.
And then you're going to come up with some creative options in the place of where you would usually spend that money, and you're probably going to realize, oh, wow, we could spend a lot less money. I don't need that thing. And so I think that that would be also something to consider if you're struggling or you just want to challenge yourself. Try a no-spend week or a no-spend month.
Laura Dugger: Those are great ideas. And it's so intriguing. You said you're feeding your family of five for $70 a week. So I'm curious, what are some current recipes that you're loving?
Crystal Paine: I shop very interestingly. We don't plan a menu, which I encourage people to do if you're first starting out with grocery budgets and shopping strategically. But I actually don't plan a menu. I just always make sure that we have enough food on hand to make at least 10 to 20 meals. [00:13:55]
I shop based upon what is on sale and what is marked down and what I can get with pairing coupons with sales. So I buy a weird variety of things at the store that a lot of times if people are brand new to my site, they'll see what I'm buying and they're like, what are you eating with that?
I mean, I know tomorrow at Kroger they're going to have the 32-ounce cheese box for $3.99, which makes it 99 cents per 8-ounce, which is a really great deal. And you can buy up to five, so we're going to buy five of those.
Then they're going to have Nathan's Hot Dogs for $1.99 per package, so we're going to buy five of those. And then they're also going to have Nabisco crackers for 99 cents. So we're going to spend $30 or so on these things that you're like, well, that's not going to feed your family. But what people forget is that I have a freezer full of these things that then I can work from to make our menus. [00:14:45]
So getting back to the recipes question, I literally just look at what we have on hand and then I come up with creative ideas. So I have a lot of pasta right now because I got pasta for free or 50 cents per box. And so I'm like, Yay, cheese is going to be on sale and I have butter in the freezer from another thing, so we're going to have mac and cheese next week.
So I just look based upon kind of piecing these things together. I know for dinner tonight we are going to do barbecue chicken, which is just a bottle of barbecue sauce and some frozen chicken breast. Super, super easy and not the healthiest thing ever, but today is a really full day. So I go with what works for that day.
Another thing that we love to do is I love to use my Crock-Pot, and so a lot of times I'm able to get sausage on a great sale and then I'll get peppers marked down and onions. And so we will do those in the Crock-Pot. My kids just love that.
They never know what mom's going to get at the store and they're so good about just being willing to eat whatever mom gets at the store. And that's what we are able to plan our menu based upon that week. So some weeks we have a lot of something and some weeks we have none of something. And so we just get creative and love that. [00:15:55]
Also as far as other recipes too that I am really loving right now is banana chocolate chip muffins because we are always getting bananas marked down. And so we put them in the freezer and then make banana chocolate chip muffins. I love those and my kids love those. And they can eat through a double batch in about two days.
Then something that I have been doing every morning, and this is not a frugal thing, but I don't drink coffee anymore. We can talk about that maybe later on with some of the other questions. So I mix together this dandy blend which is kind of a coffee substitute and then this new blend that I just got recently which is called My Morning Motivator. They're both yeast powders and I mix them together. They're really healthy and it's kind of like this mocha. That's what I drink every morning when I wake up. And I love it so much.
Laura Dugger: These are some things I've never heard of before. I love the out-of-the-box mindset for approaching cooking. So that was really helpful. And now a brief message from our sponsor. [00:16:55]
Sponsor: Neal Beer is a country financial representative who offers auto, home, life, farm, and business insurance as well as assisting with retirement funding, education funding, and estate planning.
Neal and his wife Jessica live in Roanoke with their daughter Riley and their two sons Jackson and TJ. I've known this family for multiple decades and they're all wonderful.
Neal is really active in his church and he's involved in the community through various youth coaching activities. Neal's experience with his own small businesses as well as his farm upbringing make him uniquely prepared to partner with you to put a solid plan in place with insurance solutions to make sure that you're prepared for what lies ahead.
Country Financial is approaching 100 years as a premier insurance and financial services partner. So whether you're taking simple steps as you start your journey or taking big leaps of faith as major life changes come your way, Neal Beer and his Country Financial team would love to help you on your way.
Give Neal a call at (309) 383-2566 or you can find him online or even stop by his Germantown Hills office. Again, that's (309) 383-2566. Thanks for your sponsorship. [00:18:10]
Laura Dugger: Getting back to money-saving tips, if you had to boil it down, what would you list as your most helpful money-saving tips?
Crystal Paine: You know, I think that it really starts with contentment. I feel like so many people are struggling financially because at the core there is a lack of contentment. I think digging into that and learning to be content. Like I talked about the no spend week. I think that that can help you to figure out: where am I discontent, why am I discontent?
For me, I know that when my husband was in law school and we were living on this beans and rice budget, we were barely eking by, learning to be content, learning that even though we did not have money for anything extra... I mean, we had this fish that I had gotten through a mystery shop. We got him free and I got paid to go mystery shop, the pet shop and get this fish. So we had this fish and the fish ran out of food and we did not have enough money to go buy the little fish flakes. And so our poor fish, it was like either us or the fish. I always look back to that. That's where we were at and every penny mattered. [00:19:19]
But learning in those times that it wasn't stuff, it wasn't what we could buy at the store that made us happy. Contentment is really a state of the heart. It is not about your circumstances. So learning that contentment, then no matter how much you have or how little you have, you can be grateful and happy.
That will then help you to be able to look at your finances completely differently because it's not about what you have. It's about knowing in your heart who you are and being grateful for your surroundings.
Laura Dugger: That's a really good word because contentment really does contribute to enjoying life to the fullest. Let's transition to your views on living the abundant life in various areas. First, I'd just love to know, what are the disciplines you've implemented that have resulted in an abundant life, specifically as it relates to financial freedom and generosity? [00:20:24]
Crystal Paine: I think the gratitude piece and the contentment piece is really where it starts from. I look back to that time in law school and know that that was what really shaped my whole outlook and perspective on life now because we didn't have any extras.
I got pregnant and I couldn't buy maternity clothes because we didn't have any money. And I just had to pray and I was like, "God, please provide maternity clothes." And He did. People randomly gave me boxes of maternity clothes. And it was just so cool to get to see God provide.
But then also it was, I can't go out to the store and I can't buy something, but it's going to be okay. I think learning that, then now it's this bedrock for me of I have more money, we have more money, but I know that spending money isn't going to make me happy. So it starts there.
Then as our income has increased, our heartbeat is really to be generous and to give and to be conduits. We see ourselves as conduits that as God blesses us financially, it's so that we can bless others. And there is so much joy that comes from living your life with your hands outstretched. [00:21:37] So, for me, I would say that as our income grows, as our business grows, looking at it as this is so that we can bless others.
Laura Dugger: I love your perspective on generosity. As a working mom, how have you created and maintained a peaceful home?
Crystal Paine: Well, I'm not sitting here saying that we always have a perfectly peaceful home and I have it all figured out. That's not the case. But some things that have been helpful for me, I have just had to recognize that I am a work-at-home mom.
For the longest time, I tried to be a stay-at-home mom and a work-at-home mom without admitting that I was a work-at-home mom, and so then I was constantly beating myself up that I wasn't doing more. So owning that title and embracing that has really been helpful.
Then allowing myself the ability to get help to know I can't do it all myself. I work usually most weeks at least 50 hours, sometimes more. I have three kids and I want to be present in their life. I want to be present in my marriage. I want to be able to have friendships. And so I have to have help because I can't do it all myself. [00:22:41]
So not putting that pressure on myself to do it perfectly and to do it all myself, that has freed me up a lot to be able to just be like, I'm going to do the best that I can do today. And I'm never going to get everything done and that's okay.
Laura Dugger: And if somebody is listening and they're relating and they want help as well, what are some practical ways that you're sharing that load?
Crystal Paine: So one thing that I do is on my team, so I have a few full-time employees and part-time contractors, and that's been really helpful. But for people who are like, "I can't. That's not where I'm at"... when I had three little kids, one thing that was super helpful was what we called a mother's helper. She was a young woman from our church. I think she was 16 years old and she came over every week for five hours and we paid her $10 an hour. And she was just available to do my laundry, to watch the kids, to cook, to just do anything that I needed done that week. [00:23:37]
It was such a gift to me in that season of having three young kids to just know that once a week my laundry was going to get done, once a week I was going to have a little bit of breathing room and a little bit of help. So that was great.
Then also for me, I invest money to pay for cleaners to come every single week. And I fought against this for the longest time because it felt so extravagant. But I have realized that not only is it providing jobs for people and they do an amazing job of cleaning my house, but the money that I'm investing, it saves me at least a good five hours every single week. And that is so worth what I'm paying to be able to save that time to be able to focus on other things.
Laura Dugger: That's awesome. I know in a previous episode with one of my friends, Elizabeth Dixon, was quoted and she said, "Anything that you're not emotionally attached to and you can afford if you're a working mom, sub it out basically." [00:24:33]
You just seem to be a good role model, Crystal, for prioritizing personal development to enrich your life. Are there any best practices in this area that you recommend?
Crystal Paine: One of the things that I really strive to be and hope to be as a lifelong learner... and I don't ever want to get to the place where it's like, I've arrived. I figured it all out. I know the secret. So for me, that is asking good questions. I want to be a good listener and a good question-asker.
So in every situation that I'm in, I try to, no matter whether it's somebody I know really, really well, or somebody that I've just met, to ask good questions, to get to know them, to hear their story, and to learn from them because we can learn from everyone.
Then also I talked about reading books. So always having something that I'm stimulating my mind with and I'm stretching my mind with. And so a book that I'm listening to, a book that I'm reading, a good podcast that anytime that there's kind of this downtime, washing dishes, or I'm cooking, or I'm cleaning, or I'm fixing my hair or doing my makeup, that I can be inputting good stuff into my brain to be marinating and mulling over throughout the day to help me to grow as a person. [00:25:47]
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Now back to the show.
I've heard before that gratitude and lifelong learning are correlated with happiness. It sounds like you're on the right track. What about living the abundant life in business? [00:26:43]
Crystal Paine: For me, if you cannot do everything yourself, I think that that is one of the keys for me of not trying to do everything myself, not feeling like I have to do it all, and also saying, Okay, what are the few things that I'm really good at and I'm going to focus on those and I'm going to tune out all the other noise.
So there's so many people out there telling you, you need to do this, you need to do that, you need to do this, you need to do that. Tuning the voices out and only listening to a few voices and focusing on a few things, that has been very helpful to me.
And then just set a few goals. For every week, I set one or two goals, just like this week, I'm just going to focus on these few things and I'm going to try to focus and finish. And making that my mantra, instead of starting all these different things and then not finishing anything and just feeling stretched in all these places. Just being like, No, this week this is my focus and I'm going to focus on this and this is the big rock that I'm going to try to accomplish. [00:27:43]
And then at the end of the week, I can look back and be like, maybe I didn't completely finish it, but I made some really good headway because I was just focusing on a few things.
Laura Dugger: Do you have any practical tools or habits you've put into practice to keep your marriage strong and thriving?
Crystal Paine: I'm really blessed with my husband because we knew each other since we were 9 and 10. So we have a lot of background to kind of, you know, pull from. And I think that's been such a gift because we were good friends before we were married. So it was just like we have this beautiful story of knowing each other really well.
But for us, some things that have been helpful is to really make good conversations a priority and to make sure that we're not just being two ships passing in the night. Like, okay, you're going to take him to, you know, football, and okay, well, I'll take her over to her friend's house. And tonight, what do we have? You know, so that we're just talking about our to-dos instead of really getting to the heart of where we're at and how we're feeling about things. [00:28:43]
One thing that's been really helpful to us is because in any marriage or any close relationship, you're going to have conflict. And learning how to process through that conflict has been so beneficial to us. So often it's so easy for us to say, you made me feel like this or you did that to me or I can't believe that you would... And we start with this accusatory and to kind of pull that back.
And instead, one of the things that we've been working on is saying, when you did that, it made me feel like this. And I know that's not what you meant, but this is how it made me feel. And expressing that in that way has really kind of helped soften so that it doesn't feel like you're accusing the person, but you're stating how you feel. [00:29:24] So then you're able to process through that and talk through that.
We don't always do it perfectly, but that's something that has really helped our communication and our intimacy in our marriage.
Laura Dugger: Oh, I think that's awesome. A lot of people can benefit from that tip. What about as a mother? What has been the most helpful lesson you've applied to your parenting?
Crystal Paine: I think probably in the last few years I am really learning to stop trying to fix my kids. I tried really hard. I took them on as my project. I took my husband on as my project too. I was just going to fix these people and whip them into shape. Not literally whip them.
And I realized that that is not my calling. I am not called to try to fix anyone, but especially not my kids. It's not my job to be their Holy Spirit. It is not my job to take them on as a project. And it's not my job to try to fit them into this mold that I've created for them, but instead just to really love them for who God has created them to be and to walk with them, to ask good questions, and to just really love them where they're at and be interested in the things that they're interested in. [00:30:32]
Laura Dugger: And remind us. What are their ages again?
Crystal Paine: Catherine is 14, Caitlin is 11, and Silas is 9.
Laura Dugger: Okay. Do you feel like that changed throughout the seasons or was that a recent learning?
Crystal Paine: It has definitely been in the last few years. One of my kids went through a really, really hard season and we had to bring in a lot of helpful outside doctors and counselors and all that to help us through that season.
One of the things that the counselors really helped me with was recognizing areas where I was contributing to this in the way that I was mothering. God really humbled me through that and made me a lot more aware of the way that I was approaching things in kind of like my agenda and me trying to make them a certain way and instead just embracing the way that they were wired and created and seeing it as beautiful and amazing. And really speaking into that and loving them for who they are instead of pointing out all the things that they aren't. So that's something that I've just really been working on. [00:31:39]
Laura Dugger: Thank you for that transparency. Clearly, you're involved in so many things. You're wanting to love your husband and your kids well and be a good steward with your businesses. How do you rest well?
Crystal Paine: There's this book by Saundra Dalton-Smith. I don't know if you've seen it before called Sacred Rest. I would highly recommend reading that. She talks about the different kinds of rest. That book has been very helpful to me to see rest is not necessarily sleep. It can be, but that's just one type of rest.
So recognizing that I need different kinds of rest. I need social rest, which is spending time with life-giving people. I need creative rest, which is creating things. So that book and just understanding that has helped me to rest better because it's helped me to be more well-rounded in my rest.
But a few things specifically when it comes to sleep that I've worked on in the last few years that have made a big difference is taking magnesium before I go to bed. That helps me sleep a lot better. That also just helps me be more calm overall. [00:32:46]
I talked about the fact that I stopped drinking coffee, which was huge for me. I did not want to do it. I ran kicking and screaming from it for a while. But when I actually stopped drinking coffee, I realized that it was contributing to my anxiety and also to my inability to get as much sleep because I was relying upon coffee instead of rest. and I was pushing through and I wasn't ever getting good rest because I was always just running on fumes and relying on coffee.
And so giving up coffee. I don't think everyone needs to do it but for me personally, it's been really fantastic. It's really helped me to get so much better sleep at night and to feel so much more rested and so much more calm.
Laura Dugger: That is so fascinating. Those powders that you were talking about earlier, where can people find those if they're wanting to try it out for themselves?
Crystal Paine: Yes. I actually have a post on my blog that is about my favorite teas that are decaf teas because I drink a lot of decaf tea instead of drinking coffee. [00:33:49] Maybe I can give you that link to put in the show notes. But then also it's the Two Powders Dandy Blend and Morning Motivator. I only have been using them for the past three weeks, I think, and really, really love them.
They're not inexpensive. That's the only thing. I get free Amazon credit through Swagbucks, which I teach people to do on my site, and so I buy them from Amazon with my Swagbucks, so I get them free.
Laura Dugger: Oh, fun. Okay. We'll have a lot to link to. Now, just in general, what are your best life practices?
Crystal Paine: I think that for me... and I talked about the gratitude piece. Every morning when I wake up I just write in a journal and I just write something that I'm grateful for. That really helps me to shape the focus of my day to start out with being grateful.
Then I also try to prioritize exercise very early in the morning. And by early in the morning I mean early in my day. It's not necessarily... You know, I'm not doing it like 5:00 a.m. But just early in my day. Because I found that if I don't exercise early in my day it's probably not going to happen. [00:34:51] But I feel so much better when I make exercise a priority.
Then also I drink a gallon of lemon water every day and that has helped me so much with my skin and my overall energy. Making time for friends and for life-giving people, this was something I did not prioritize for a number of years.
Reading the book Sacred Rest and understanding how important social rest is for me, this helps me to have so much more energy. And just to have people in your life when you're struggling or you just need to vent or you need people to celebrate with you. To have those inner circle people who are with you, I think that it helps all around in your life and makes such a big difference.
Then to make sure that I'm not just pouring out and pouring out, pouring out, but then I'm also being filled back up. Because every day I'm writing at least one blog post. I'm usually writing an email newsletter to go out. I'm writing a post for Instagram. I'm getting on live video. I'm doing Instagram stories in multiple places.
So there's just a lot of giving out that happens. In order to be able to give out, I also need to be filled up. And so making that a priority has been really helpful to me to make sure that I'm not walking through life depleted. [00:36:03]
Laura Dugger: Wow, this is awesome. I can't wait to read that book. But let's finish this series of abundant life questions with the most important topic. So what would you say has been the most transformational in your spiritual walk with Jesus?
Crystal Paine: One of the things is prioritizing time in God's Word and just time in prayer. I think we sometimes forget that our Christian walk is a relationship, and in order to have a relationship, you need to spend time. Time equals relationship. You're not going to get to know someone well if you're not spending time with them. And so prioritizing that. I try for it to be every single morning.
And I'm not legalistic about it. It's just something that I want to start my day at the feet of Jesus, because I need Him. I cannot live this life well and glorify Him if I'm not spending time with Him.
But then also for me, making that time not something that I am giving out to other people. So this is kind of an interesting thing for me, but because I give out so much and I do an Instagram Live every morning, usually it's a morning show, and I have a podcast, and I'm writing and producing content, and like I said, there's a lot of giving out. [00:37:17]
Just the other day, someone was saying I do a book post every month with all the books that I've read that month. And someone was saying, I really wish you talk about what you're reading in God's Word. And I said, "I have chosen for that to be something that I don't give out from because I just need it for me. I want it to just be my time, spending time with God that it's not like I need to be looking for something to be giving out to other people. So kind of guarding that time as just a time for me to be just filled up and sitting at the feet of Jesus.
The other thing for me has been in our church I'm really involved in this discipleship program, which is this nine-month intensive sort of counseling type of thing. But it's all about going back to your core wins and your family of origin and just your false self and your true self and just understanding your identity in Christ and what that really looks like and how the gospel impacts everything, and when we really understand the gospel, that it is finished, we don't need to try more, be more, do more. That when He said it is finished, it's done, and we can rest in that. So truly understanding that it's been transformational to me.
And then I've had the opportunity then to walk with women through this program. They have very large group and then small group where every week you're meeting with women. Basically, it's two co-leaders with six to seven people. So you're getting to know women very closely and walking with them very closely. [00:38:43]
And just to be really honest and authentic and to share the yucky things and the things that we're struggling with and to put it out there, there's something very healing about that.
Laura Dugger: And that sounds incredible. What's the name of that curriculum or course?
Crystal Paine: Our pastors actually put it together and it's currently only offered at our church. I think this is our seventh year to do it at our church. They are piloting it with another campus this year in hopes that we can bring it to other churches because it is just changing lives in such a profound way.
Laura Dugger: Oh, that's awesome. I hope it's available so listeners can grab onto that as well. This has just been such a refreshing time. If listeners do want to connect further, where can they find you online?
Crystal Paine: My favorite place to be online is Instagram. I am the Money Saving Mom on Instagram. I'm typically doing stories multiple times every day. So if you just want to get to know me on kind of a personal level, that's a great place to follow me. [00:39:45] I also share my grocery shopping trips and money-saving tips there as well.
Then my blog is moneysavingmom.com and I'm on Facebook as Money Saving Mom. Then if you are interested in making money through blogging or social media, I'd love for you to follow me @yourbloggingmentor on Instagram and then also my site yourbloggingmentor.com.
Laura Dugger: Perfect. Thanks for sharing all of those. Crystal, I have one final question that I like to ask every guest. We're called The Savvy Sauce because "savvy" is synonymous with practical knowledge or insight. So we would love to hear from you, what is your savvy sauce?
Crystal Paine: Using a time block to-do list. This is something that has been a practice of mine for years. And how it works for me is that I use Google Calendar for everything. So family, work, anything that is in my life, it goes on Google Calendar. Depending upon what it is, I will put it on as an all-day event. Or if it's a timed event, I'm going to put it actually on the calendar in the time that it's supposed to be. [00:40:47]
So I just brain-dump everything on there. If I think, oh, I'm supposed to bring treats next week to the Football practice or Oh, I'm supposed to remember to call that person, you know, I just put everything on there. Then every night before I go to bed I pull up my Google Calendar and I look at what I have on tap for the next day and then I write out a time block to-do list for the next day in my handwriting because I found that there's something about actually writing it out by hand that really helps solidify it and help me process through it.
I try to always allow at least a few hours of free time because there's going to be things that come up and interruptions and all that. But this really helps me to stay on task and focused and it helps me to prioritize the things that are important, and to make sure that I don't just wake up and just kind of run around in circles and put out fires all day, but I'm actually being very intentional in how I'm spending my time.
Laura Dugger: Well, Crystal, I've enjoyed your work for years, and so it was really special to get to connect today and learn from your intentionality, and experience your kindness firsthand. So thanks for being my guest. [00:41:51]
Crystal Paine: Thank you so much for having me on and asking such great questions. As I was going through your list of questions, I was like, one, you're super organized. But I was like, wow, this is inspiring me to think of some different things that I want to share online because there were questions that I've never done a blog post or an Instagram story on that. So thank you for inspiring me through that.
Laura Dugger: Oh, that's awesome. You've inspired me, so it's mutual. But thanks again.
One more thing before you go. Have you heard the term "gospel" before? It simply means good news. And I want to share the best news with you. But it starts with the bad news. Every single one of us were born sinners and God is perfect and holy, so He cannot be in the presence of sin. Therefore, we're separated from Him.
This means there's absolutely no chance we can make it to heaven on our own. So for you and for me, it means we deserve death and we can never pay back the sacrifice we owe to be saved. We need a savior. But God loved us so much, He made a way for His only Son to willingly die in our place as the perfect substitute. [00:42:59]
This gives us hope of life forever in right relationship with Him. That is good news. Jesus lived the perfect life we could never live and died in our place for our sin. This was God's plan to make a way to reconcile with us so that God can look at us and see Jesus.
We can be covered and justified through the work Jesus finished if we choose to receive what He has done for us. Romans 10:9 says that if you confess with your mouth Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead, you will be saved.
So would you pray with me now? Heavenly, Father, thank You for sending Jesus to take our place. I pray someone today right now is touched and chooses to turn their life over to You. Will You clearly guide them and help them take their next step in faith to declare You as Lord of their life? We trust You to work and change their lives now for eternity. In Jesus name, we pray, amen. [00:44:04]
If you prayed that prayer, you are declaring Him for me, so me for Him, you get the opportunity to live your life for Him.
At this podcast, we are called Savvy for a reason. We want to give you practical tools to implement the knowledge you have learned. So you're ready to get started?
First, tell someone. Say it out loud. Get a Bible. The first day I made this decision my parents took me to Barnes and Noble to get the Quest NIV Bible and I love it. Start by reading the book of John.
Get connected locally, which basically means just tell someone who is part of the church in your community that you made a decision to follow Christ. I'm assuming they will be thrilled to talk with you about further steps such as going to church and getting connected to other believers to encourage you.
We want to celebrate with you too. So feel free to leave a comment for us if you made a decision for Christ. We also have show notes included where you can read Scripture that describes this process. [00:45:04]
Finally, be encouraged. Luke 15:10 says, "In the same way, I tell you, there is rejoicing in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner who repents." The heavens are praising with you for your decision today.
If you've already received this good news, I pray that you have someone else to share it with today. You are loved and I look forward to meeting you here next time.
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