Special Patreon Re-Release: Strategies to Overcome Perfectionism with Jill Savage

Special Patreon Re-Release: Strategies to Overcome Perfectionism with Jill Savage

 

**Transcription Below**

 

Psalm 18:32 (NLT) “God arms me with strength, and he makes my way perfect.”  

 

Jill Savage is an author and speaker who is passionate about encouraging families. She is the author or co-author of twelve books. Featured on Focus on the Family, Crosswalk.com, Family Life Today and Today’s Christian Woman magazine, Jill is the founder of Hearts at Home, an organization that encouraged moms from 1994-2017. Jill and her husband, Mark, have five children, three who are married, two granddaughters and one grandson. They make their home in Normal, Illinois. 

 

At The Savvy Sauce, we will only recommend resources we believe in! We also want you to be aware: We are a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for us to earn fees by linking to Amazon.com and affiliated sites.  

 

Jill’s Website

Books by Jill Savage:

Living With Less So Your Family Has More

No More Perfect Moms

Professionalizing Motherhood

Better Together by Jill Savage and Anne McClane 

No More Perfect Marriages  by Mark and Jill Savage 

No More Perfect Kids by Jill Savage and Dr. Kathy Koch 

Need a Next Step? Try Mark & Jill’s FREE 4 week e-challenge here! 

Jill's book that released in August

Sacred Marriage by Gary Thomas  

 

Thank You to Our Sponsor: WinShape Marriage

 

Connect with The Savvy Sauce on Facebook or Instagram or Our Website 

 

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Gospel Scripture: (all NIV)

 

Romans 3:23 “for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God,”

 

Romans 3:24 “and are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus.”

 

Romans 3:25 (a) “God presented him as a sacrifice of atonement, through faith in his blood.” 

 

Hebrews 9:22 (b) “without the shedding of blood there is no forgiveness.” 

 

Romans 5:8 “But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” 

 

Romans 5:11 “Not only is this so, but we also rejoice in God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have now received reconciliation.” 

 

John 3:16 “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.”

 

Romans 10:9 “That if you confess with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.” 

 

Luke 15:10 says “In the same way, I tell you, there is rejoicing in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner who repents.”

 

Romans 8:1 “Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus”

 

Ephesians 1:13–14 “And you also were included in Christ when you heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation. Having believed, you were marked in him with a seal, the promised Holy Spirit, who is a deposit guaranteeing our inheritance until the redemption of those who are God’s possession- to the praise of his glory.”

 

Ephesians 1:15–23 “For this reason, ever since I heard about your faith in the Lord Jesus and your love for all the saints, I have not stopped giving thanks for you, remembering you in my prayers. I keep asking that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, may give you the spirit of wisdom and revelation, so that you may know him better. I pray also that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints, and his incomparably great power for us who believe. That power is like the working of his mighty strength, which he exerted in Christ when he raised him from the dead and seated him at his right hand in the heavenly realms, far above all rule and authority, power and dominion, and every title that can be given, not only in the present age but also in the one to come. And God placed all things under his feet and appointed him to be head over everything for the church, which is his body, the fullness of him who fills everything in every way.”

 

Ephesians 2:8–10 “For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith – and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God – not by works, so that no one can boast. For we are God‘s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.“

 

Ephesians 2:13 “But now in Christ Jesus you who once were far away have been brought near through the blood of Christ.“

 

Philippians 1:6 “being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.”

 

**Transcription**

[00:00:00] <music>

Laura Dugger: Welcome to The Savvy Sauce, where we have practical chats for intentional living. I'm your host Laura Dugger, and I'm so glad you're here. 

[00:00:17] <music>

Laura Dugger: I am thrilled to introduce you to our sponsor, Winshape Marriage. Their weekend retreats will strengthen your marriage, and you will enjoy this gorgeous setting, delicious food, and quality time with your spouse. To find out more, visit them online at Winshapemarriage.org. That's Winshapemarriage.org. Thanks for your sponsorship. 

If this is your first time here, welcome! You may be wondering what it means to have a special Patreon release. So, here's the scoop. Patreon was a platform we used to generate financial support for The Savvy Sauce, and we would express our thanks to those paying Patrons by giving them a bonus episode every month. 

But now, we have some exciting news. [00:01:17] We are transitioning away from Patreon because we recently launched The Savvy Sauce Charities, a nonprofit to inspire us to grow in intimacy with God and others. This podcast will be moving under that nonprofit umbrella on January 1st, 2024. That means after January 1st of 2024, your financial contributions to The Savvy Sauce Charities will still support our work and keep us on the air, but they will also be a tax write-off for you.

We try to make as much of our material free to the general population, but it's only possible when some generous listeners show their support through financial backing. We spend thousands of dollars each year to record and produce these episodes, and we do pray that they are beneficial and that God sees fit to use them to be transformational in your life and in ours. [00:02:19] 

So if that is the case, if you have ever benefited from an episode of The Savvy Sauce, would you consider showing your gratitude through your financial generosity? Any amount is greatly appreciated. In fact, you may have heard me say before, if every listener gave only $1 per month, it would completely offset all of our costs. 

We will have updates on our website, thesavvysauce.com, in the coming months, but feel free to reach out anytime to any member of our team if you want to partner together. Our email address is info@thesavvysauce.com. 

And now I'm thrilled to share this episode with you that used to only be available to paying patrons. 

Welcome back to The Savvy Sauce, Jill

Jill Savage: Thank you. It's good to be with you again.

Laura Dugger: Hopefully our listeners have already heard your previous episode, but can you just give us a quick recap of who you are?

Jill Savage: Well, I am a wife. My husband and I have been married 35 years, 25 of them happily. [00:03:22] And that makes up much of our ministry is to marriages. I'm a mom of five. My kids are all now grown, and I'm a nana to three. 

I run a ministry called JAM Savage Ministries along with my husband. JAM stands for Jill and Mark Savage Ministries. We do marriage events. I speak at women's events. We do a lot of marriage coaching. I do writer and speaker coaching. 

And we run a lot of online resources. We run a marriage membership site called nomoreperfectdatenight.com. Probably our most popular posts on the blog are what we call Marriage Monday that my husband and I do together. So we stay very, very busy.

Laura Dugger: Yes, you do. Well, let's just jump right into one of the topics that you've covered before in your books, in your blog. How did you decide to teach others to resist the pressure to chase after perfectionism? [00:04:22] 

Jill Savage: Well, I only write about the things that I screwed up. That's really what that came from, because that was a personal struggle for me. That was a place where God was really growing me. And the more I began to talk about that with others, the more I realized that I was not alone in this struggle. 

So I first wrote No More Perfect Moms and identified what I call the perfection infection. The perfection infection is when we unfairly compare ourselves to others and we have unrealistic expectations of ourselves. 

I think as moms, we struggle with this in so many areas. We struggle with it with our body. We struggle with it with our home. We struggle with it with hospitality, parenting, marriage, all of that. 

My second book dealing with that was No More Perfect Kids. No More Perfect Kids looks at when the perfection infection invades our parenting, what happens? [00:05:26] And that's when we have unrealistic expectations of our kids and we unfairly compare our kids to others. That really can be damaging. We have to recognize when that's happening. 

Then eventually No More Perfect Marriages, which is where we took a look at what happens when the perfection infection invades our marriage. We have unrealistic expectations of marriage in general. And we unfairly compare our marriage to other marriages. Here's what we're doing. We're comparing the outsides of other marriages to the insides of our marriage. And that's a dangerous comparison. It's not fair. Or we have unrealistic expectations of our spouse or of marriage. 

Man, those expectations are just killers in all areas of our life. And that is when perfectionism really begins to rob us of contentment. And that's really at the heart of what happens with perfectionism. [00:06:25] I like to say that perfectionism is this really, really high bar and real life is several feet below that bar. And the space in between real life and perfectionism or unrealistic expectations, that space in between is discontentment.

When we are in perpetual discontentment, it fuels anxiety, it fuels depression and it certainly fuels discontentment in general in all areas of our life.

Laura Dugger: What are the lies in perfectionism and what truths have you found that we can rest in instead?

Jill Savage: You know, the lies really come down to the things that we tell ourselves. For instance, one of the places I struggle with is I believe that excellence is important. I've always been a high achiever and tried to do everything excellent. But the truth is, if I really look at it closely, I don't really expect excellence. [00:07:29] I expect perfection. And that's an unrealistic expectation.

So that's a lie I tell myself is that all I really want is excellence. But the truth is I want more than that. And what I have to recognize is on this side of heaven, excellence is attainable, perfection is not. And so just recognizing that.

I think another lie is in perfectionism we often feel like we don't measure up and nobody else measures up either because our expectations are so high off the chart. So the truth that battles that lie is “I am enough”. I am enough as I am imperfect and all. So recognizing that and replacing that lie with that truth is a gift we need to give to ourselves and to those that we love as well. [00:08:28] 

I would say that a third lie that I think we struggle with is that we will tell ourselves that something is a realistic expectation but in reality, it's an unrealistic expectation. And so we're lying to ourselves when we're saying... Okay, I'll give you an example. A lot of times people will say marriage shouldn't be this hard. Well, that's an unrealistic expectation. Marriage is hard. Period. Every married couple is incompatible. Every married couple is wonderfully incompatible. 

Marriage just forces us to have to learn to deal with those incompatibilities. It forces us to learn how to give grace and kindness to people who are different than us. So marriage is hard work. So a lot of times we tell ourselves lies like it shouldn't be this hard. And so that causes discontentment. And it really is a lie because the truth is it is hard work. [00:09:29] 

Laura Dugger: Let's just dive a little bit further into these various areas that we may battle with perfectionism, beginning with expecting perfection internally within ourselves. So, for starters, what are some good questions to identify if this is an unspoken expectation that we might have unnecessarily placed on ourselves?

Jill Savage: I would say one of the first things is, where are you constantly disappointed? If you can identify. Maybe it's in a relationship. Maybe it's with you, maybe you're constantly disappointed that you can never get on top of the laundry. Maybe it's just something as simple as a daily activity like that, but you're going into it expecting to get six loads done in one day and then you're disappointed because you only got three done. 

A lot of times the best place for us to pay attention to what's going on internally and what we are saying to ourselves when we talk to ourselves is to identify the places where we are perpetually disappointed. [00:10:36] Because that'll give us a clue at where we probably have some unrealistic expectations.

Laura Dugger: What is our next step? 

Jill Savage: I think our next step is then to ask ourselves, what is a realistic expectation? Maybe you do laundry once a week and I needed to get six loads done, but for the last four weeks, I've only gotten three loads done. You have to look at it and go, So what's a realistic expectation here? Can I get six loads done in a day? No, I cannot. I can only get three loads done in a day or two or one or whatever it is. 

If we constantly are disappointed in the outcome of what happens, we probably have set some unrealistic goals. 

A next step would be, okay, so maybe I need to do laundry twice a week and I need to expect to get no more than three loads done. Or maybe I need to do it three times a week and I need to expect to get no more than two loads done. [00:11:38] 

And so what we do is we take a look at: where have we been disappointed? What have we been able to accomplish in that? What's a more realistic expectation? And then that actually inserts both joy and a sense of contentment and accomplishment to replace the perfectionism.

Laura Dugger: Now let's talk about the temptation to pursue perfection externally, beginning with body image. What wisdom can you share about resisting the urge to focus our energy on having the perfect body?

Jill Savage: Oh, I think particularly as women we struggle with this because the media has done us no favors. You know, we go through the grocery store checkout line and we see the front of the magazines and you see this skinny celebrity and it says body after baby, three months. And you look down at yours and you're like, Body after baby, three years, never looked like that. [00:12:40] 

I think we have some pretty unrealistic expectations that are presented as possible. The truth is that magazine cover has been photoshopped and that is not how she looks in real life. So we have to recognize where these messages are coming from. They are setting up absolutely impossible standards. 

In fact, this all started years ago with the Barbie doll. If a real woman had the measurements of a Barbie doll, I mean, she would not be able to live. Her organs will not fit into that size body. And so I think we have to recognize where that's coming from.

And we have to change our goals. Instead of maybe a certain weight or a certain size, we need to focus instead of appearance on health and taking care of our body, being intentional about the health of our body, stewarding the care of our body. [00:13:45] That is a better goal. And that is an absolute better pursuit of excellence and will steer us out of that area of perfection that often happens more with appearance.

Laura Dugger: What about this desire to have the perfect home or perfect meals for our families? Will you speak into that?

Jill Savage: I think all of us could do our fair share of helping to rid the world of perfectionism by sharing our good and our bad. We're quick to share snapshots of when something looks really good, but we're hesitant when something looks really bad. People have to live in a home. So we have to recognize that it has to be livable. 

Now, everybody has their own tolerance level of clutter. So you have to find what your tolerance level is. We certainly have to take care of the things that we have. [00:14:45] And part of that is stewardship. But at the same time, it's so important for us to understand that it is impossible to have a perfect home, to have a perfect schedule. So we've really got to learn to give each other grace. 

I will never forget this. I had come home from a trip. I do a lot of speaking in the spring and the fall, sometimes back-to-back trips. So I get off an airplane, I'm home for a couple days, I'm repacked and on another airplane somewhere else. This had been one of those like three, four weeks where I've done that. 

Instead of unpacking and repacking the suitcase, I'd gotten lazy and just grabbed another suitcase. So I had all these open suitcases and clothes everywhere. I mean it looked like the suitcase had exploded. Clothes everywhere in my bedroom.

I remember saying to myself, "All right, this weekend I have to..." I always call it I'm declaring war on this when I have a project like that. I'm like, "I'm declaring war in my bedroom this weekend." [00:15:50] And then I caught myself and I went, "You know what, I'm going to take a picture of this and I'm going to post it on Facebook." And I did.

I mean, I took a picture. The bed was unmade. There were dozens of clothes everywhere, suitcases laying open. And I said, "This is my current reality. What's yours?" And I'm going to tell you that thing came as close to viral as I think I have ever had.

And women were snapping pictures of their kitchen counters that were covered in dishes and they were snapping pictures of their kid's room and snapping pictures of the interior of their car. I mean, it was so freeing for all of us to see that we all struggle with staying on top of stuff. This is the reality that most of us are experiencing in some way, shape, or form. I think that was a gift we all gave each other that day.

Laura Dugger: Let's take a quick break to hear a message from our sponsor. 

Sponsor: I'm so excited to share today's sponsor, Winshape Marriage, with you. [00:16:51] Winshape Marriage is a fantastic ministry that helps couples prepare, strengthen, and if needed, even save their marriage.

Winshape Marriage is grounded on the belief that the strongest marriages are the ones that are nurtured, even if it seems like things are going smoothly. That way, they'll be stronger if they do hit a bump along their marital journey. 

Through their weekend retreats, Winshape Marriage invites couples to enjoy time away to simply focus on each other. These weekend retreats are hosted within the beautiful refuge of Winshape Retreat, perched in the mountains of Rome, Georgia, which is just a short drive from Atlanta, Birmingham, and Chattanooga. 

While you and your spouse are there, you'll be well-fed, well-nurtured, and well-cared for. During your time away in this beautiful place, you and your spouse will learn from expert speakers and explore topics related to intimacy, overcoming challenges, improving communication, and so much more.

I've stayed on site at Winshape before, and I can attest to their generosity, food, and content. You will be so grateful you went. [00:17:50] To find an experience that's right for you and your spouse, head to their website, WinshapeMarriage.org. That's WinshapeMarriage.org. Thanks for your sponsorship. 

Laura Dugger: I know that you have a unique take on Professionalizing Motherhood. So we are talking to the stay-at-home moms as well as working moms when we talk about work, but let's just clarify, what do you mean by professionalizing motherhood?

Jill Savage: Well, Professionalizing Motherhood was my absolute first book, which is amazing. It's been in print 20 years and still is. It's still one of the most popular books out there for stay-at-home moms.

It really looks at the concept that what we do every day when we take care of our family, we need to treat it as a profession. If a mother is an at-home mom, you know, our tendency is to say, when somebody says, what do you do, our tendency is to say, Oh, I'm just a mom. [00:18:53] And that word "just" has so many negative implications.

My call to moms at home was, no, you're not "just" an at-home mom. You're a woman committed to the profession of motherhood. And what that does, when we are able to say that, it raises motherhood to the place that it needs to be in our minds, that we give it our best. We pursue it as a profession. So we seek professional continuing education. We set goals. We get up and treat it like we were going to work, take a shower, do our hair, actually take some pride in what it is that we do each and every day. 

And when I began to do that as an at-home mom, I became a more intentional mom. My family didn't get my leftovers. They started getting my strategic best. 

I think for a woman who works outside the home and has children, she is also committed to the profession of motherhood. [00:19:54] But she has two professions, the one she gets paid for and the one that she doesn't get paid for, at least not monetarily. But she has to still approach what she does at home for her family as a profession. And she will be a more intentional mom for it as well.

Laura Dugger: I love it. What are some ways that we can identify if we're sliding too far to either extreme in our work, whether we're all consumed by it or neglecting our responsibilities? And that's for stay-at-home moms or working moms, all of that considered work.

Jill Savage: You know, I think that too often we can become siloed or super focused in one area or another. I think we can also so easily slide towards the things that are natural to us and miss out on the things that maybe we have to work a little harder at. [00:20:53] 

You know, for me, I'm natural at organizing and leading things but I'm not real natural at being the fun mom. And so my kids, they learned responsibility. I had them where they needed to be on time. I knew what their schedule was and how to manage their schedule. But I had to really stretch myself to go out and jump rope with them or to sit down and play with blocks. Because that's not where I naturally excel. And I really had to stretch myself in that. 

So I think that the place that we can maybe go one way or the other is often the place that we're most comfortable in. But relationships, whether it's work or home, they need a balance from us.

I think one of the best things we can do is pay attention to the places that maybe we aren't naturally drawn to but that we can grow, we can be stretched, and then we can be probably a little bit more rounded of a person in whatever profession it is that we're dealing with. [00:22:05] 

Laura Dugger: What are the dangers of expecting our kids to be perfect?

Jill Savage: Well, probably the biggest danger is that our kids will get to the place where they will throw their hands up in the air and say, "You know what, I can't make her happy. Nothing I do can make her happy." 

Or it can be, as Dr. Kathy Cook and I talked about in our book No More Perfect Kids, our kids can begin to throw their hands up and say, "You know what, I don't feel like my parents love me. They only love me when I do things their way." And that becomes conditional love. 

I think that oftentimes, especially when we are stretched thin, we don't have a lot of margin or capacity for differences. We don't have a lot of margin or capacity for kids doing things at their own pace. And that's when perfectionism or at least the feeling of having unrealistic expectations of our kids can creep in there, and we can actually send wrong messages to our kids. [00:23:11] 

Laura Dugger: What are some of the underlying reasons that we have this expectation?

Jill Savage: Well, it goes back to perfectionism on our part. How many of us have said, at your age? And then if we've really thought about it, they are. I think oftentimes our expectations are unrealistic. They're off the charts. We really have to evaluate those expectations and recognize that we are expecting some pretty unrealistic things out of our kids. That is a gift. If we can have realistic expectations of our kids, that's a gift that we can give to them because then they feel accepted, valued, encouraged, and they don't feel like they're constantly disappointing us.

Laura Dugger: I want to pick your brain here. How can we proactively lead our children rather than reactively respond to their misbehavior? [00:24:14] 

Jill Savage: I think as parents, one of the places that we so easily miss the boat is to recognize that we are a leader. We are a leader. A lot of us would say, I'm not a leader at all. Well, if you have children, you are. Because they're following you. The question is, are you giving them something to follow?

The first place is in our own mindset. Am I thinking of myself as a leader? The second would be that we need to proactively give our kids direction rather than react to what they do when they don't have direction.

Let me give you an example of a place, especially if you have small children, this makes a difference. You're at the grocery store, and you're getting the kids out, and you're going into the grocery store. Before you get out of the car, what do you expect the children to do as it relates to the grocery cart? Are they riding in it? Are they holding onto the side? What expectation are you setting for them? [00:25:18] 

When you check out, is this a "we get candy in the grocery store aisle trip"? Or is this a "there will be no candy in the grocery store aisle trip"? 

See, if we let them know those things up front, then they're not like a pinball trying to find the boundaries that haven't been set for them. You know, it's possible that we'll have to bring them back to what we told them they needed to do. But at least we have set a direction, and we've set something to bring them back to. And that's how we lead proactively rather than reactively.

Another place that we can lead proactively is giving our kids a five-minute warning before they need to clean up, before dinner, before grandma and grandpa comes, before they have to leave a friend's house. That is leading them well. Nobody likes to just be yanked away from what they're doing, and that includes a child who's playing.

So we give them a little bit of a heads up, and we let them know, "Hey, this is coming. It's right around the corner. I want you to be ready." [00:26:25] Those are really practical ways we can lead our kids.

Laura Dugger: We've saved our most important earthly relationship for last. So why do you recommend we embrace a real-life marriage rather than expecting a perfect marriage?

Jill Savage: Well, there is no perfection on this side of heaven. It just doesn't exist. A real-life marriage is going to roll with the realities of imperfect. It's going to allow marriage to challenge us, to soften our rough edges, to grow and mature us. 

I will never forget reading years ago, Gary Thomas' book, Sacred Marriage. But the subtitle of the book was something like, What If God Gave Us Marriage Not To Make Us Happy But To Make Us Holy? 

And, man, that hit me really hard when I read that. Because, really, marriage is about learning to take the self out of the relationship and to serve each other, to give grace to one another, to allow another person to do things differently than we do, and to give the space in life for that to happen. [00:27:43] 

Marriage is a great maturer in our life. If we will let it, it has the ability to mature us in some huge ways. But if we won't let it mature us, it can also lead to some very painful places when we don't understand that we have this opportunity to grow together.

Laura Dugger: As we sum up all of these different examples, what role do you think grace plays as we hear this message?

Jill Savage: Well, we have to learn to be givers of grace. Here's what I want us to think about. If I don't learn to give grace, what am I giving in its place? I'm giving criticism. I'm giving judgment. I'm giving anger.

Those are very human ways of responding to what's going on around us. Or we can do things God's way, and we can actually give grace in a way that is a beautiful gift to those that we love. [00:28:47] And it's giving them the space to be human, the space to make mistakes, honestly, the space to be different.

Here's a beautiful place that you can recognize. If your spouse fills the dishwasher different than you do, can you give him grace and allow him to do it differently than you do? I know. I know. You can get three more dishes in there than he can. But is it worth it to go behind him and redo it? No, it's not. That's a moment where we have to give grace.

Here's what I've learned. And I'll tell you, some of us that have the most trouble giving grace are those of us that struggle with efficiency. I'll tell you, I'd be the first one to say I am an incredibly efficient person. So I think about the best way to do everything. I even think about the best way to drive across town. And I certainly think about the best way to fill the dishwasher. [00:29:48] 

But here's what I've learned. Never sacrifice your marriage on the altar of efficiency. Never. Never sacrifice your parenting and your relationship with your children on the altar of efficiency. Don't you dare go back and remake their bed after they made it! Don't you dare reload that dishwasher after your child or your husband has filled it! Don't. Because they'll see that and they'll throw up their hands and say, "You know what, it doesn't matter. I can't make mom happy anyway." You'll redo it after I do it, so why should I even do it in the first place? No. We need to give grace for things to be done differently.

Laura Dugger: Will you now just walk us through some of the resources that you have available on these topics and let our friends know where they can connect with you online?

Jill Savage: Absolutely. The best place to connect is jillsavage.org. It is a wonderful place that I hang out. [00:30:50] I have a blog. My books are there. 

Also, you can connect there to some of the marriage resources that we have and some of my book websites as well.

The No More Perfect Moms, No More Perfect Kids, No More Perfect Marriages books also have their own website at nomoreperfect.com. There are free videos. We have a lot of moms groups and small groups and churches that use that book as well as our Better Together book, which is on friendship.

And those all, the No More Perfect books and the Better Together book have free online video curriculum that moms groups and churches and small groups can use if they want to study the books together. 

So jillsavage.org is a great way to start, but they can check out nomoreperfect.com as well as bettertogetherbook.org.

Laura Dugger: Thank you. I have one final question for you today. We're called The Savvy Sauce because "savvy" is synonymous with practical knowledge or insight, and we would love to hear, Jill, what is your savvy sauce? [00:32:00] 

Jill Savage: Stop comparing your insides to other women's outsides. It's a challenge that I think most of us have to be reminded of because we are often comparing the insides of our family to the outsides of other families. We're comparing the insides of ourselves to the outsides of other women, the insides of our marriage to the outsides of other marriages. And we have to stop that.

We have to be more vulnerable. That's part of the reason I'm very vulnerable because what that does is it lets others know that there are struggles out there. When we can compare insides to insides, we're not so different after all. So we have to stop comparing our insides to other women's outsides.

Laura Dugger: I just really appreciate all the wisdom that the Lord has filled you with, and you've documented it in so many ways through your websites and your books and on podcasts as well. So thank you very much for your time today, Jill. [00:33:00] 

Jill Savage: Thanks for having me, Laura.

Laura Dugger: One more thing before you go. Have you heard the term "gospel" before? It simply means good news. And I want to share the best news with you. But it starts with the bad news. Every single one of us were born sinners, but Christ desires to rescue us from our sin, which is something we cannot do for ourselves.

This means there is absolutely no chance we can make it to heaven on our own. So, for you and for me, it means we deserve death and we can never pay back the sacrifice we owe to be saved. We need a Savior.

But God loved us so much, He made a way for His only Son to willingly die in our place as the perfect substitute. This gives us hope of life forever in right relationship with Him. That is good news.

Jesus lived the perfect life we could never live and died in our place for our sin. [00:34:01] This was God's plan to make a way to reconcile with us so that God can look at us and see Jesus. We can be covered and justified through the work Jesus finished if we choose to receive what He has done for us.

Romans 10:9 says that if you confess with your mouth Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead, you will be saved. 

So would you pray with me now? Heavenly Father, thank You for sending Jesus to take our place. I pray someone today right now is touched and chooses to turn their life over to You. Will You clearly guide them and help them take their next step in faith to declare You as Lord of their life? We trust You to work and change lives now for eternity. In Jesus' name we pray. Amen. 

If you prayed that prayer, you are declaring Him for me, so me for Him. You get the opportunity to live your life for Him. [00:35:01] And at this podcast, we're called The Savvy Sauce for a reason. We want to give you practical tools to implement the knowledge you have learned. So you ready to get started? 

First, tell someone. Say it out loud. Get a Bible. The first day I made this decision, my parents took me to Barnes & Noble and let me choose my own Bible. I selected the Quest NIV Bible, and I love it. You can start by reading the Book of John. 

Also, get connected locally, which just means tell someone who's a part of a church in your community that you made a decision to follow Christ. I'm assuming they will be thrilled to talk with you about further steps, such as going to church and getting connected to other believers to encourage you. 

We want to celebrate with you too, so feel free to leave a comment for us here if you did make a decision to follow Christ. We also have show notes included where you can read Scripture that describes this process. 

Finally, be encouraged. Luke 15:10 says, "In the same way, I tell you, there is rejoicing in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner who repents." [00:36:05] The heavens are praising with you for your decision today. 

If you've already received this good news, I pray that you have someone else to share it with today. You are loved and I look forward to meeting you here next time.