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Practical Chats for Intentional Living
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Monday May 25, 2020
Monday May 25, 2020
105. Ways to Enjoy Summer with Your Family with Krista Gilbert
**Transcription Below**
Proverbs 21:29b (NIV) “the upright give thought to their ways.”
Krista Gilbert is a speaker and author of Reclaiming Home: A Family’s Guide for Life, Love, and Legacy, co-author of Focus on the Family’s Give Them Wings, and the co-host of The Open Door Sisterhood Podcast. Krista is a connector of people, and a lover of life stories, family, Pacific Northwest lakeside sunsets, powder tree-skiing, and homemade salsa. She speaks and writes about how to live and love well, designing a life around faith, core values, and priorities. Krista can often be found in her garden, preparing a meal with her cooking group, or hiking a trail with her husband and four children.
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The Open Door Sisterhood Podcast
Reclaiming Home by Krista Gilbert
The Ruthless Elimination of Hurry by John Mark Comer
Deviced! by Dr. Doreen Dodgen-Magee
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Just for Fun and Highly Recommended by Laura
Lara Casey's 2020 6-months Powersheets...Not exaggerating: these are changing my life!!!
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Gospel Scripture: (all NIV)
Romans 3:23 “for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God,”
Romans 3:24 “and are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus.”
Romans 3:25 (a) “God presented him as a sacrifice of atonement, through faith in his blood.”
Hebrews 9:22 (b) “without the shedding of blood there is no forgiveness.”
Romans 5:8 “But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”
Romans 5:11 “Not only is this so, but we also rejoice in God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have now received reconciliation.”
John 3:16 “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.”
Romans 10:9 “That if you confess with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.”
Luke 15:10 says “In the same way, I tell you, there is rejoicing in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner who repents.”
Romans 8:1 “Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus”
Ephesians 1:13–14 “And you also were included in Christ when you heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation. Having believed, you were marked in him with a seal, the promised Holy Spirit, who is a deposit guaranteeing our inheritance until the redemption of those who are God’s possession- to the praise of his glory.”
Ephesians 1:15–23 “For this reason, ever since I heard about your faith in the Lord Jesus and your love for all the saints, I have not stopped giving thanks for you, remembering you in my prayers. I keep asking that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, may give you the spirit of wisdom and revelation, so that you may know him better. I pray also that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints, and his incomparably great power for us who believe. That power is like the working of his mighty strength, which he exerted in Christ when he raised him from the dead and seated him at his right hand in the heavenly realms, far above all rule and authority, power and dominion, and every title that can be given, not only in the present age but also in the one to come. And God placed all things under his feet and appointed him to be head over everything for the church, which is his body, the fullness of him who fills everything in every way.”
Ephesians 2:8–10 “For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith – and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God – not by works, so that no one can boast. For we are God‘s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.“
Ephesians 2:13 “But now in Christ Jesus you who once were far away have been brought near through the blood of Christ.“
Philippians 1:6 “being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.”
**Transcription**
[00:00:00] <Music>
Laura Dugger: Welcome to The Savvy Sauce, where we have practical chats for intentional living. I'm your host, Laura Dugger, and I'm so glad you're here.
[00:00:18] <Music>
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Our guest for today is Krista Gilbert, and she's going to offer us creative yet simple parenting ideas and conversations to start now that will actually set us up to maximize our summer later. The second half of Proverbs 21:29 says, "The upright give thought to their ways." This verse reminds me of Krista because she seems to give thought to her summer. And I appreciate her willingness to share that intentionality with us today. Here's our chat.
Welcome to The Savvy Sauce, Krista.
Krista Gilbert: Thank you, Laura. It's so great to be here with you.
Laura Dugger: [00:01:38] Well, I'm excited just for a chance to get to know you a little bit better. So will you start all of us off by giving us a brief overview of your current life stage?
Krista Gilbert: Sure. I live in the Pacific Northwest. I live with my husband, and right now with my four kids, which is really fun. Because normally my daughter is at college, but she's home now. So we're all together. And we love, love, love being outside. We spend a lot of our time in the mountains and hiking and skiing and doing paddleboarding on lakes and doing all sorts of fun things because the Pacific Northwest has such great outdoors. I also work from home. So I'm a writer, I'm a podcaster, and so I spend a lot of time doing those things. And I love it all.
Laura Dugger: [00:02:31] Well, Krista, something that I admire about you from afar is the intentionality with which you approach new seasons. You've always been my go-to speaker for all things summer. So first, what kind of vision is a good starting place for us to have this summer?
Krista Gilbert: Oh, thank you, Laura. I really appreciate those words. That's so sweet. I think no matter what phase we're in of parenting, we can see summer as an opportunity. And whether you have young kids, and so you do things that are more geared toward younger kids or older kids, it's all just one big opportunity for one time that we get to have with our families. It's a little bit different than the school year, which I just love. Because we can be really intentional about how we spend that time.
Especially if you have flexibility with your work or maybe if you're a stay-at-home mom, then you really can be proactive and offensive. I like to say I like to play offense, not defense when it comes to summer. So we can really be on the offense and plan well so that we can, like you said, be intentional and really make the most of our summers.
I always think we have 18 summers with our kids. So how are we going to spend those? And for those of us who are in the second season of parenting where our kids are a little bit older, we only have a few summers left with them. So how do we want to spend that? What kind of time? And also what do we want to see built in them?
That's always one of my long-term goals as well is maybe how we want to spend that time is not necessarily with me physically but it's a chance for them to grow spiritually in a new way or in service or you know, all those things that we're also trying to build in our kids. Especially as we're looking at, for me, my kids graduating and leaving my home and becoming adults. What are some things I really want to see built in them as they grow through the years? And summer is just a great time to really focus on that.
Laura Dugger: [00:04:41] I appreciate how you're speaking to all stages of parenting. But could you give us a quick recap what are your kids' ages right now?
Krista Gilbert: Yeah. So mine are... like I said, my daughter's in college, and then I have three sons. One of them is a senior, one is a junior, and one is an eighth grader.
Laura Dugger: [00:05:01] Okay. And as you look back over your years, what summer memories or traditions stand out as your favorites and your kids' favorites?
Krista Gilbert: Well, for sure summer camp has been a highlight. We have gone to the same Christian camp for... Well, ever since my kids were just born literally, we go to their family camp. So even at a very, very, very young age, my kids were attending a Christian camp.
And then as they've grown, they now and have for a long time attended the camp on their own. At first it was like two days at a time and then it was a week at a time. Now they're actually up there serving. My daughter was on staff the last two summers as a lifeguard, and my boys are on work crew up there. Now that they're in high school, they can do work crew, and they can be junior counselors. So that's a way for them to, again, grow in service, but also to be around this incredible Christian community.
And what I love about starting young in something like that is that it's kind of just what they do. And they grow up seeing all of these role models that are not adults, they're closer to their age, that are cool teenagers who love Jesus. You cannot put a price tag on that. It is the most invaluable thing because then they grow up with that in their minds, and they really aspire to that themselves. But that's, I would say, been one of our number one... one of the best things we've done in parenting is to be plugged into a Christian camp in the summer.
And then I would say another thing that we've done is I tend to do block scheduling with my weeks. So we have a block where we go to our family cabin at the lake. I live in an area in the Pacific Northwest and probably like Minnesota or some other parts of the country there's lakes everywhere. So it's not an uncommon thing for people to go to the lake around here. But whatever it is. I mean, you could just pick whatever it is in your area.
But we block some time that is specifically for lake time. Usually, there's grandparents and cousins. We do cousin camp during that time, and we have family Olympics and everybody shares meals. We take turns doing meals every night. And that's for sure been a highlight as well.
Laura Dugger: [00:07:30] That sounds incredible. And I'm sure it takes a lot of preparation. So if we are at home with our kids this summer and recognize it as an opportunity for more margin, how do you recommend we maximize this season to teach our children some life skills?
Krista Gilbert: I think that's what's so great about summer. I mean, some people homeschool and so I fully recognize that they may be doing this all year long. But for a lot of people whose kids are in school during the school year, this is an opportunity where their kids are home all day and where as parents, we really get to instill some things in them that we want to build.
So there are four things I try to build into every day in the summer. And those four things are work, think, play, and move. So I figured these are four values that are really, really important for us as a family and also for individuals and things that I want my kids to be able to take with them.
Number one is work ethic. That is a huge, huge value for my husband and I. We just feel like if our kids leave our home and they have a work ethic, then that is big success right there. So even when kids are small, I mean, most of the time when you give kids chores, when they're small, it's actually more work for you because they often do more damage than help. Totally recognize that.
[00:09:00] At the same time, as moms, we really get to have that bigger perspective from 30,000 feet that says it's actually not about whether they do a good job on this, it's that they're learning how to work. So for us, we always do work in the morning, because that's when people are most motivated. We get up and we do maybe a devotional, a little bit of Bible time, whatever, and then we're straight into chores because that's just a great time for everybody to rally. We turn up the music, we try and make it fun. But everybody's doing something.
So from the time my kids were little, we've gone through a million different chore charts. But at the end of the day, it doesn't really matter what you do. It's just that you're doing something to teach kids how to work.
Dave Ramsey also has a philosophy about paying kids. Like when my kids were young, we did Dad dollars and mom money. And they could earn different things. For example, staying up late was a certain number of dad dollars. Or a trip to the ice cream store was a certain number of mom monies. But you can also do it as they grow with actual money. So they learn the correlation between work and pay. That's great too if you decide to do that.
Then "think" is the next one. And that is just I want my kids to be engaged non-digitally. So I really want them to be reading or to be learning about something. Often this can happen outside too. Or maybe they have an interest they want to learn more about. So we'll go to the library and check out some books on. Especially when kids are younger, that's just so great, you know, to really focus in on one thing that they really love, and then you get some resources on that and they can be learning about that. So think. Or maybe it's brain teasers or puzzles, or... of course, reading is wonderful at any time in any age.
[00:10:58] And then play. I'm a firm believer in play as a family, that it builds bonds. If you watch kids and how they connect, they connect through play at any age, I mean, all the way through college. So that really never ends. And if you think about it, adults do as well. So how can we tie heartstrings relationally through play, and that can look like kickball games capture the flag and the yard?
Just last night, my kids were learning different line dances on YouTube. We were doing Footloose. That's actually what we were doing last night. You know, but just how can you play with your kids?
And then the fourth one being “move”. This one is often combined with play because we can be playing and moving at the same time. And that's just really great when those pair up. But, you know, they have shown over and over, experts have shown over and over that exercise improves blood flow and memory. It stimulates chemical changes in the brain that enhances learning, it improves mood and thinking, and it also reduces the odds of developing heart disease, stroke, and diabetes. So, you know, it's a no-brainer.
We have a massive, massive epidemic in our young teenagers of anxiety and depression. It's one in four are the current statistics. So that's alarming. And as we look at movement and the role movement plays, it's really important along with sleep, and eating habits. So those three things are so important for kids.
I even think as kids are young, if we can just get them in the habit of always thinking about: how can I be moving my body? That's just such a healthy way of coping with life and really enhancing that brain function. So I think it's just a great time to start young.
And then of course, as kids get older, I think it gets even more and more and more important. And as moms, how are we modeling that? How are we moving every day? And really being great examples of valuing that kind of intentionality with our bodies as well.
Laura Dugger: [00:13:17] I love how you boiled it down to those four memorable words: to work, think, play, and move. You had mentioned earlier that you kind of do a block schedule. So I'd love to hear a little bit more about that. Because it sounds like it doesn't matter on the age. Play is important. But I'm just wondering, as a mom of four kids, how did you do that? How did you prioritize what to say yes and no to keep play high on the list?
Krista Gilbert: Well, I think one of the things is just our favorite things of the summer is when we block time for free time. I will encourage every single parent, if parents have older kids, I would actually do this with your kids as well. But for those that have littles, then you and your husband do it and maybe even extended family.
But you sit down with a summer calendar, and you really lay out, okay, here's family vacation, here is when you know, the soccer camp is, here's when the Christian camp that I'm sending my kids to is. And then you actually put on the calendar free weeks. And these are my favorite weeks that are just... the weeks of the summer where we literally say no to everything, and it's just free time for our family where we can do anything we want to do.
That is so important. Because if we look back at our best memories of summer, they are often the simple things. And really it's when we're unhurried and we don't have tons on the schedule and we just get to be in summer. I mean, those are the golden days of summer. That usually doesn't happen, though, if we don't have some of those weeks blocked off.
And then within that, you can provide structure to that, especially with young kids so you don't go crazy. You know, you have time during the day where everybody gets out and moves, maybe you go on a hike, and maybe you go swimming. But then you have rest time and reading time. Again, getting to that “think”. And then maybe you have a time for creativity, and you do some kind of creative activity. But I would just really encourage parents to be intentional about how they're scheduling.
Laura Dugger: [00:15:33] That's really great to start thinking about now, because then we can also consider: are there any common pitfalls or frustrations about summer that you think could be minimized if we did prepare well?
Krista Gilbert: I think one of the things is sleep. And we forget this. It's really hard here where we live, because we're very far north. We're almost to the border of Canada. So it stays light until 10:30 in the summer. So nobody wants to go to bed. Especially when the kids were young, it was so hard to put the kids to bed when it was broad daylight out.
So it can be really hard to keep on regular sleep schedules. But I would just say, don't underestimate the value of sleep and the way kids act during the day. I know that that for me was a big thing, and it was a challenge. But I had to adapt a little bit because obviously going to bed at seven o'clock when it's broad daylight was not great for my kids. So we adapted to that. So they would stay up a little late and get up a little bit later than they would in the school year.
However, still being really regular. Like saying, okay, then our bedtime is nine o'clock. And then here's when everyone's getting nap. So be making sure they get nine hours of sleep in there. That regular sleep cycle will make a world of difference on how happy kids are during the summertime when you are together day in and day out.
Laura Dugger: [00:17:05] You are so right. That is such a necessary thing that is very easy to overlook. I know another question a lot of us have, what kind of encouragement do you have for the high amounts of togetherness we're going to experience as a family this time of year?
Krista Gilbert: I would just say that I would really encourage one-on-one time with your kids. Because sometimes we're a little pack and we were a little pack, especially when they were young and we were going to the zoo and going to the pool and all these places.
I think sometimes as moms we can get really frustrated with the pack because the pack isn't acting the way we want it to. So that's really hard. And there's somebody melting down. And then we say, You guys. Like every single one of them is melting down when really it's just one.
I think sometimes we have to pull back and say, everyone's doing alone time, which is really good for kids to have alone time. So everyone's doing alone time. I would really make use of audiobooks. There's so many incredible audiobook resources out there. We used Your Story Hour. That was one that we used. And then we used Adventures In Odyssey.
There's some great podcasts for kids out. And I know the library does that as well where you can for free download audiobooks. But put books in kids' rooms and let them listen to something while they play Legos.
[00:18:31] And then you can have one-on-one time with one of the kids. You can just switch that every day who that is. But it is amazing how much you will enjoy your time with that one child. Especially during those dog days of summer where maybe you're halfway through and everybody's hot and nobody wants to go outside and everyone seems a little bit crabby. You know, just separate everybody out.
Some will take naps, some will just be listening to books, but then you can play a game with one of them or make something, you know, make cupcakes or make popsicles. And then you can really just enjoy your kids. I think whenever we're not enjoying our family time, which as moms we know can happen, usually once a day sometimes, is we have to kind of be the physician a little bit and say, Okay, I need to diagnose right now. What do people need? Do they need separation? Do we need more together time?
Sometimes we literally just need to step outside the door. It was like a miracle when I would say, Okay, everybody outside. And we would step outside the door and all of a sudden the entire group dynamic changed because getting outside is so good for everyone and there's room and there's fresh air and there's balls, there's swings. So all of a sudden, it would defuse that moment. So I just think it's a matter of like, as moms, trying to control our frustration and anger sometimes, and really diagnosing what people need.
Laura Dugger: [00:20:05] It sounds like you do a great job making sure, like you said, that you're enjoying your family time. So do you have any tips for us how we can incorporate fun into this season?
Krista Gilbert: I think it's just trying to do the unexpected. I read a study a while back that said relationships grow when you experience new things together. That would be a challenge is how can you do your ordinary routine in a new way? So, for example, if you are taking kids home from swim lessons, could you just all of a sudden swing by the local water fountain and everybody jumps out and throws pennies in or jumps in the fountain? Or maybe you stop and everybody gets popsicles and it's all of a sudden popsicle time.
Kids often appreciate the small things more than we realize. They remember the small things. I mean, I remember one time my kids were doing it, their elementary school, something called Run for Fun. And it's just kids run around during their lunchtime. But I just would show up every once in a while with bags of popsicles. It was the biggest hit ever. And kids talk to me for years after that about the popsicles I brought to Run For Fun.
So it's just sometimes the unexpected, the simple things. So you don't have to change your whole life and create these big, elaborate Pinterest parties. That's not actually what kids often like. In fact, sometimes when we try to make things too perfect, they hate that, and then that actually makes it worse.
So what are just some simple things that kids like that we can infuse into what we're already doing? So maybe that's, can you guys tonight... we're not eating dinner at the table, we're eating dinner on picnic blankets outside. Everybody outside with the picnic blankets, you know. And just really trying to think creatively.
And I think as moms, and I'm so guilty of this, we can get caught in ruts. And then the days just kind of flow into one, into another. So how can we really break that rut and think creatively?
Laura Dugger: [00:22:20] Oh, that is such an awesome challenge.
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Laura Dugger: [00:24:44] I'm noticing you're a super practical girl as well. So let's just brainstorm a few practical applications, starting with, what's your favorite healthy snack for your family during the summertime?
Krista Gilbert: So here's some things that I think are really easy and that I think are great and that kids like. One is frozen watermelon. So we just have that really in the freezer most of the summer where I just put it in zip locks and everybody can pull it out for a quick snack.
I love getting fresh fruit. And then you can always put a fun twist on it. So you can put a spray of whipped cream on strawberries and peaches. You can do rhubarb and strawberry sauce with Truvia instead of sugar so that the kids aren't getting sugar-overloaded. You can make homemade low-sugar jams.
I have a fruit dehydrator, and I just chop up fruit, throw it in there. And that is my favorite snack of all time. And you can just leave it in there for days and then get back to it whenever you have time to get back to it.
Homemade hummus is something I make a lot because you can make a ton of it and it lasts a long time in the refrigerator. It is so much better than store-bought. So I often will have hummus on hand that you can pull out with some veggies.
My new favorite snack is the No Sugar Tillamook Beef Jerky. That's at Costco. It's fantastic. And it's no sugar. So I love that one. Avocado toast is great and fast. I always have pistachios on hand. And I pretty much always have frozen grapes on hand too. I love Frozen grapes. They are so much better than regular grapes.
And then we do a ton of hiking. So I usually have nut mixes. Right when I get home from Costco, I'll just mix together whatever I have, almonds, dried cherries, Craisins, macadamia nuts. Basically, I'll just throw it all in a big bag. And then if we're going on hikes, I'll just make little bags of that, and off we go. So those are some of my faves.
Laura Dugger: [00:26:47] Those are really helpful. So do you have a certain time of the week when you set aside time in your schedule to plan either work or plan your meals?
Krista Gilbert: I have really benefited from the cooking group that I've been a part of. We get together and... we only do one cooking group before the summer and we will make like 15 marinades and then put meat in them and then they're ready to go for the freezer. So even if you're not in a cooking group, you can still do that by yourself where you just do a big shop and have those ready to go.
Obviously, that doesn't cover the whole summer, but 15 meals goes a long way, especially with young kids who aren't eating a ton. So I love that. Every month I'll do that. When we go up to our lake place with our family, that's another time where I will pre-make a lot of the food that I'm in charge of. Because we'll do some lunches, we'll do some dinners. And I'll do ahead of time all that I can. And then that just minimizes how much I have to do when I'm there.
Laura Dugger: [00:27:50] On another practical note, how does your family handle technology over the summer?
Krista Gilbert: This is probably one of the hardest battles as kids get older. I will say for parents who have young children, enjoy the days your kids don't have phones because it is so great. And really, really, really be free. And I'm going to give you just full permission to absolutely do very little technology because someday it will be a battle you fight a lot and on a regular basis. So enjoy that time.
I would say for us we really have to have conversations at the beginning of summer about what that is going to look like to be managing our technology. I don't know if you've ever heard of Dr. Doreen Dodgen-Magee. She was on our podcast a while back. We had a Healthy Way series in January, we had an episode called Taming the Digital Beast. And it was so good. It was just amazing.
She's a psychologist in Portland, who's a digital expert, and she has such great resources. She has a book called Device: Balancing Life and Technology in a Digital World. I love the way she talks to teenagers. And she really does encourage parents to be on board with their kids and have mutual education and conversations about how to manage technology.
We do have a sign up at the lake that says "we invite you to go media free" and we encourage people to put their phones in baskets. I think that's a really practical thing that we can do even as parents. If we just have a phone, some kind of basket or center and we have a sign there. It reminds all of us to go less digital in the summer.
Because as moms we need to also accept the fact that sometimes we're the most guilty. We're on our technology a lot. So how can we just have these little reminders, or maybe you even set a reminder in your phone and say, "Put technology away for two hours and have times of the day where you are not on it."
And then Verizon, I don't know about AT&T, but Verizon has a great family feature where you can turn off technology at just the click of a button. So you don't even have to take kids' phones, you just literally can turn it off for two hours or three hours or however long you want.
And then John Mark Comer is another person that I just love. He came on our podcast not too long ago, and he wrote a book called The Ruthless Elimination of Hurry. You know, his big push is Sabbath, that we actually have a Sabbath during the week where we are completely technology-free. It's a beautiful concept.
And I would just encourage people to think about it. And even if they don't do a whole day, maybe half a day. You know, maybe you just pick one day a week in the summer where you, for a half of a day, are going to be media-free. If you get comfortable with that, maybe up the [inaudible 00:31:12] and then later in the summer, you decide, "We can do the whole day. We're gonna go 24 hours with no technology." I think all of us can really benefit from that: our kids and us.
Laura Dugger: [00:31:22] Well, it's helpful to hear how you actually implement some of this. So I know you've mentioned downtime for your kids. But are you planful and strategic about that? Or what are your thoughts on downtime?
Krista Gilbert: I tend to be a little more structured. Even some of my kids are not so structured. So as they've gotten older, I, for their sake, have had to be less structured because they feel to boxed in by that rigid of a schedule. And that's the dance of parenting. Some of our kids are gonna love schedules, and they're gonna go, "Great! What time is it now? Great. It's art time. Whoo." Where some kids are like, "Can't we be a little more fluid?" So you really do have to adapt as a mom to that.
But I also did something called buddy times. As the kids have gotten older, I don't call it that. But where I would pair siblings. So I would have two siblings paired for an hour block. But I would mix and match who was with who. And that was really fun. And that was considered downtime, because they would just quietly doing something the two of them together.
So I would build it in. But as my kids have gotten older, it just looks differently. For example, we've been under quarantine and so I have certain things that we want them to do every day, you know. And they look very similar to some of those, you know, the four components of summer that I like to incorporate, with some added things as well.
So what we're doing is they just have to hit them during the day at some point. I'm not necessarily going to schedule their blocks like I did when they were young. But I do want them to incorporate these things every day. So they just have to show me where they've done each of those.
Laura Dugger: [00:33:11] I like that, that you're accommodating each of the personality types.
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[00:33:58] These have just been fantastic suggestions so far. But I think part of having a great summer is that we need to be saying no to certain things. You all pack such great things into your summer. What do you have to say no to to make all the rest of it possible?
Krista Gilbert: Well, one, I really say no to any summer commitments, even if I have regular things I am doing. So, for example, we keep our podcast app all summer long. But we're only working one day a month on interviews. So we decide, okay, we're gonna do this one day in June, this one day in July, and one day in August and we'll just do all of our interviews on those days.
And then of course, you know, we still have some other things we have to do. But I really pull back. So even things that I am still keeping going to some degree, I really pull back on. And then anything that would really require me to be involved in the summer, I literally will say to people when they ask me to commit to something, I am not available in June, July, and August.
I am so fiercely protective of our summer. A part of that is we only have so many with our kids, and we don't get them back. And that doesn't mean you can't go do things that you want to do that are requiring, you know, some time. But I would just say I really don't feel badly about saying no to all of my regular commitments that I have during the year. And I think that that is helpful to say upfront when you're committing to something, I am not available during these months.
Laura Dugger: [00:35:43] That's helpful to know. So that's how you actually get your work done. When all the kids are home. You've got it really heavy on one day of the month. Is that right?
Krista Gilbert: Yeah. I can only do interviews that day. So there's gonna be other days where I have to be working on the production aspect, you know, some of the writing or if I have a writing project I'm working on. Four years ago, I was finishing my book. So what I would do is I would take an entire weekend, and I would go and just write the entire weekend. That worked better for me.
Some people get up at five o'clock every morning and will write for two hours before their kids get up. For me, I just really liked blocking time. So that's how I would do it. And so I just think you have to know yourself and know what works best for you.
Laura Dugger: [00:36:32] I think it's always helpful to hear what other people are saying no to. But if you could encourage all of us, what would you advise us to say yes to?
Krista Gilbert: I would definitely say intentionality. Make life special. Because if you don't, nobody will. We are the playmakers. I mean, I was a college athlete. I just love athletics. We are the offense. We are the people who make things happen. We're the playmakers as the moms.
So we get to make life special. So how can you do that? How can you bring fun glasses to the table with a sparkling apple cider and do toasts and teach everybody how to do a toast? How can you make birthdays, especially landmark birthdays? So we do rituals for our kids' 13th birthday or their 18th birthday. We do something special for their 21st.
How can you even be thinking about: how can I do birthdays in a way that really celebrates this child and really is specific to that child? One of my sons is really introverted, and likes quiet, smaller groups. Another one of mine is crazy extroverted, loves big parties. So I'm going to celebrate them really differently. So how can we do that?
Even spiritually. Because life is special when spiritual life is infused into it. It takes on a whole new meaning. It brings in light and joy and comfort and peace and that firm foundation for our kids. And we often don't think about that as making life special, but it absolutely is.
So how can we really make time for encouraging spirituality in our children in the summer? And maybe that's just when you're on a hike, you are talking about, wow, this is incredible what God made, and looking at the little inchworm on the trail, or the leaf and all of the intricacies of the leaf and just talking about, look what God made.
Or maybe that's by, you know, going to a camp and exposing your kids to the outdoors. And what I love about that when kids get older is there's no technology for an entire week. Their souls just open up completely. So what are some ways we can infuse, you know, spiritual life?
And then also, I really like the idea of legacy and heritage and how can we use summer and making life special to include grandparents and aunts and uncles and cousins and that extended family that just causes this beautiful, beautiful place of belonging for our children.
Laura Dugger: [00:39:14] This all sounds incredible. And I love how you boil it down to intentionality. So just for people to get started, if they're going to be talking to their spouse this week about summer, do you have any recommendations for questions to ask each other? Or how would they get their summer mapped out?
Krista Gilbert: It's actually exactly what I do for Christmas as well. I always say to everybody in the family, what is one tradition that will make Christmas for you? And then there's six right there because there's six of us, right? So that's already a lot.
But I do the same thing with summer. What is the one thing that's going to make summer for you? Oh, for my husband, hands down it's a backpacking trip. He wants everyone in the family to strap on a backpack and go hit the trail. That will make summer for him.
Well, for me, that doesn't make summer for me. I'm gonna have something totally different. So, you know, it's like really trying to meet the needs of everybody. And if everybody gets a say, and everybody gets to do the one thing that they really love, then we feel like, Okay, this has been a good summer.
So I think it's just really managing expectations. And that's the other thing I want to say is, for us to be expectant is really different than having expectations. So expectant of what God will do. But in order for us to be expectant, we also need to look at, like, for example, our spouse's expectations and to say, you know, what do you want summer to look like? And really having that open communication helps us to be able to meet each other's needs to meet our kids' needs.
[00:40:51] Maybe for your kids you're thinking a trip to Disneyland is going to make their summer when really what they want to do is play with all their friends in the neighborhood every day and go to the local... the little pool sprinkler or whatever. I mean, it's just amazing sometimes how we really don't know what our kids want and really love. So we need to ask them.
I just like doing family meetings. We call them Jedi councils. And, you know, we have a Jedi council and we ask everybody, what do you want to do? And we just communicate. And it just really does set everything up for success.
Laura Dugger: [00:41:26] I like that, being expectant, but not having expectations. Krista, this time has been incredible. If people want to listen to your podcast or find you online, where would you direct them?
Krista Gilbert: Well, I am at kristagilbert.com, and our podcast is The Open Door Sisterhood. So you can find us there too.
Laura Dugger: [00:41:49] Awesome. We will link to that in our show notes and also on our “resources” tab of our website. And Krista, you know we're called The Savvy Sauce because "savvy" is synonymous with practical knowledge or insight. So as my final question for you today, what is your savvy sauce?
Krista Gilbert: Well, I'm gonna say the Voxer and Marco Polo apps on my phone are the way that I keep total relationships going with my friends all over the country who are also parenting and also who are doing amazing things. I think this is where we can build community in a really beautiful way in the summer. And we can say, You know what? I'm really having a hard day with my kids, they're driving me crazy. I think we're gonna go insane. What are you doing today? And then someone can just Vox you back real quick or Marcopolo you back. It's this whole thing of we're all in this together. And it really does build relationships.
Laura Dugger: [00:42:48] I love it. And you are such a savvy lady. Your warm personality and openness to share all of these things have been incredible. I learned so much in our time together, and I'm leaving this feeling really encouraged and challenged in my parenting. So thank you for being my guest today.
Krista Gilbert: Oh, I've absolutely loved it. Thank you so much for having me, Laura. I really appreciate it.
Laura Dugger: [00:43:12] One more thing before you go, have you heard the term "gospel" before? It simply means good news. And I want to share the best news with you. But it starts with the bad news. Every single one of us were born sinners and God is perfect and holy, so He cannot be in the presence of sin. Therefore, we're separated from Him.
This means there's absolutely no chance we can make it to heaven on our own. So for you and for me, it means we deserve death and we can never pay back the sacrifice we owe to be saved. We need a savior. But God loved us so much, He made a way for His only son to willingly die in our place as the perfect substitute.
This gives us hope of life forever in right relationship with Him. That is good news. Jesus lived the perfect life we could never live and died in our place for our sin. This was God's plan to make a way to reconcile with us so that God can look at us and see Jesus.
We can be covered and justified through the work Jesus finished if we choose to receive what He has done for us. Romans 10:9 says that if you confess with your mouth Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead, you will be saved.
So would you pray with me now? Heavenly, Father, thank You for sending Jesus to take our place. I pray someone today right now is touched and chooses to turn their life over to You. Will You clearly guide them and help them take their next step in faith to declare You as Lord of their life? We trust You to work and change their lives now for eternity. In Jesus name, we pray, amen.
If you prayed that prayer, you are declaring Him for me, so me for Him, you get the opportunity to live your life for Him.
[00:45:11] At this podcast, we are called Savvy for a reason. We want to give you practical tools to implement the knowledge you have learned. So are you ready to get started?
First, tell someone. Say it out loud. Get a Bible. The first day I made this decision my parents took me to Barnes and Noble to get the Quest NIV Bible and I love it. Start by reading the book of John.
Get connected locally, which basically means just tell someone who is part of the church in your community that you made a decision to follow Christ. I'm assuming they will be thrilled to talk with you about further steps such as going to church and getting connected to other believers to encourage you.
We want to celebrate with you too. So feel free to leave a comment for us if you made a decision for Christ. We also have show notes included where you can read Scripture that describes this process.
Finally, be encouraged. Luke 15:10 says, "In the same way, I tell you, there is rejoicing in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner who repents." The heavens are praising with you for your decision today.
If you've already received this good news, I pray that you have someone else to share it with today. You are loved and I look forward to meeting you here next time.
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