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Practical Chats for Intentional Living
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Monday Jun 10, 2019
Monday Jun 10, 2019
57. Implementing Bite-Size Habits That Will Change Your Life with Author, Blogger, Podcaster, and Speaker, Kat Lee
**Transcription Below**
Psalm 143:8 (NIV) “Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love, for I have put my trust in you. Show me the way I should go, for to you I life up my soul.”
Kat Lee is passionate about teaching others how to jump-start each day with a grace-filled, life-giving morning routine. She is the author of the Hello Mornings book (published by Thomas Nelson), a speaker, podcaster, and the founder of HelloMornings.org. She and her husband, Jimmy, live in Waco, Texas, with their three children.
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Kat Lee’s Website: Hello Mornings
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Gospel Scripture: (all NIV)
Romans 3:23 “for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God,”
Romans 3:24 “and are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus.”
Romans 3:25 (a) “God presented him as a sacrifice of atonement, through faith in his blood.”
Hebrews 9:22 (b) “without the shedding of blood there is no forgiveness.”
Romans 5:8 “But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”
Romans 5:11 “Not only is this so, but we also rejoice in God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have now received reconciliation.”
John 3:16 “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.”
Romans 10:9 “That if you confess with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.”
Luke 15:10 says “In the same way, I tell you, there is rejoicing in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner who repents.”
Romans 8:1 “Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus”
Ephesians 1:13–14 “And you also were included in Christ when you heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation. Having believed, you were marked in him with a seal, the promised Holy Spirit, who is a deposit guaranteeing our inheritance until the redemption of those who are God’s possession- to the praise of his glory.”
Ephesians 1:15–23 “For this reason, ever since I heard about your faith in the Lord Jesus and your love for all the saints, I have not stopped giving thanks for you, remembering you in my prayers. I keep asking that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, may give you the spirit of wisdom and revelation, so that you may know him better. I pray also that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints, and his incomparably great power for us who believe. That power is like the working of his mighty strength, which he exerted in Christ when he raised him from the dead and seated him at his right hand in the heavenly realms, far above all rule and authority, power and dominion, and every title that can be given, not only in the present age but also in the one to come. And God placed all things under his feet and appointed him to be head over everything for the church, which is his body, the fullness of him who fills everything in every way.”
Ephesians 2:8–10 “For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith – and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God – not by works, so that no one can boast. For we are God‘s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.“
Ephesians 2:13 “But now in Christ Jesus you who once were far away have been brought near through the blood of Christ.“
Philippians 1:6 “being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.”
**Transcription**
[00:00:00] <music>
Laura Dugger: Welcome to The Savvy Sauce, where we have practical chats for intentional living. I'm your host Laura Dugger, and I'm so glad you're here.
[00:00:17] <music>
Laura Dugger: I want to say thank you to our sponsor, FabFitFun. If you want to learn more about their seasonal subscription boxes, which include over $200 worth of full-size products, but cost you only $49.99, visit them at FabFitFun.com. And if you use the coupon code SAVVY at checkout, you'll receive $10 off your first box.
I can't wait for you to hear this chat with my guest, Kat Lee. Kat is an author, podcaster, blogger, and speaker, and I expect you to complete this conversation feeling empowered to make her recommended three-minute change in your day that will actually change your life.
Here's our chat.
Welcome to the Savvy Sauce, Kat.
Kat Lee: Thank you so much for having me. I'm really excited to be with you today.
Laura Dugger: Well, let's just dive right in. Can you start us off by telling us your personal story of redemption?
Kat Lee: Absolutely. So, you know, have you ever seen Goonies? Do you remember that show that came out when we were... Well, maybe I was a kid. I'm not sure how old you are. But like the bad guys have this one kid, and they're like, so, you know, tell us what happened. [00:01:30] And then he goes back, well, I was born in whatever, whatever. And he goes like way back to the beginning, and they didn't mean for that.
So whenever people say what's my personal story of redemption, I kind of have to go back to when I was born, but it feels like that part in the movie Goonies because they're not expecting me to go that far back. So hold tight, everybody listening. I am going back to when I was born, but I promise not to go year by year because that would be a long time.
But it does go back to when I was born because when I was born, nine months afterwards, my mom actually passed away. So I never got to meet her. Actually, up until I think about seven or eight years ago, I don't think I ever even saw a picture of her and I in the same photograph. So just growing up, I didn't really understand motherhood. I felt like I had this hole. I was on the outside of this relationship that everybody else had and everybody else understood. [00:02:27]
I remember I would go to school or Sunday school, and we would make crafts for Mother's Day or whatever, and it was just this painful place where I would be obedient, make the craft, and then just throw it in the trash on the way out. And just felt like, okay, well, it's not something I can change. I'm never going to understand what this whole mother-daughter relationship is.
My dad was a single dad. He was great. He did great with my brother and I. But, you know, I was never dressed super cool. I was always kind of a little bit outside of the bubble of what that mother-daughter relationship is, of going shopping with your mom and all those things.
As life went on, just kind of reconciled myself to the fact that I was never going to really understand the whole thing. And it's just so neat. I actually specifically remember, I guess I was in my 20s, and I was at a Sunday school lunch or something, and my Sunday school teacher was sitting with her daughter on her lap. She was maybe 9. [00:03:24] They were playing like one of those hand-clapping games. And I never, never understood those. I don't know if that was my lack of rhythm or a lack of a mother to teach me. I don't even know what.
But they were playing one of those games. And it was just this moment. I was sitting there eating my barbecue and looking at them and thinking, you know, I'm 26 years old at this point in time, "I'm never going to understand what that relationship is like."
You know, now looking back on that moment, I can kind of almost imagine God whispering, Just wait. Because then I became a mom. And I never really knew what that was going to be like. I didn't realize how that would bring my story so full circle. God totally blessed me with not just one, but two little girls. Now they're teenagers. I also have a little boy. He's 12. I guess not so little. But it's just been so redeeming to be able to be the thing that I always wanted.
And in the process of this whole journey of motherhood and just following Jesus, I think we'll get into a little bit more of this later, but I ended up starting a blog about motherhood, which seemed really ironic because I'm the motherless mom blogger. What's that? [00:04:32] But I just felt like that was where God wanted me to go and what he wanted me to do.
The blog ended up doing well, and Compassion International, it's a child sponsorship organization, they invited me on a trip. I remember when I got the invitation, it was a text message. And it said, "Hey, we're going on a trip. Do you want to go?" Because they would invite writers to go and see the work that they did in these different countries.
I followed Ann Voskamp and Melanie Schenkel and all these people that I really admired, and I was like, "What? I get to go? This is amazing. I get to impact these kids' lives." I was just so honored and blown away.
Then the next text message said, "We're going to the Philippines. Are you interested?" So the way that brings my story kind of full circle is that my mom was from the Philippines. I never actually knew her. I never knew her family. I never really knew anything about that culture because my dad was all American, blonde hair, blue-eyed and I grew up with that side of the family. [00:05:30]
And just through a bunch of crazy and amazing circumstances, through Facebook, one of my cousins from the Philippines ended up reaching out to me just months before I went with Compassion on the trip. So on the same day that I got to meet my Compassion sponsor child, I also got to meet my mother's family. And there were 18 of them.
We pulled up to the hotel with all the other writers that were with me on that trip and I'm like sobbing, ugly crying, mess, trying to go through security to get into the hotel because there was this wall of windows. And I saw all these people standing there as our bus pulled up. I just knew that that was my family.
And it was this amazing moment where I got to meet the brothers and sisters of my mother and they got to meet the daughter of the sister that they hadn't seen for so long. It was just a powerful, I don't know, kind of puzzle that God put together of never knowing my mom, of inspiring me about the nobility of motherhood and wanting to speak truth to mothers and starting that blog, and then Compassion finding it and then taking me on a trip to the very place that was going to most connect me to the mom that I never knew. [00:06:44] Just so neat how God weaves this whole tapestry of our lives together and can bring us full circle. So that was a little longer, but it wasn't 43 years' worth.
Laura Dugger: That is an incredible story. And your family in the Philippines, they didn't just have a really easy journey to get there. Is that right?
Kat Lee: That's right. There were over 18 of them, and some of them had traveled over 24 hours just to get there that day, just to meet me. And so it was amazing. We stay in touch to this day. The Filipino culture, not having known anything about it when I grew up, was just so amazing to me because they're so kind and loving. If I post something on Facebook, I have a billion people liking it.
And growing up on my dad's side of the family, it wasn't a very big family. And now I have all these people, and they're just liking everything and inviting me to things and sending me pictures. And it's just amazing and fun. And I love how God works things together.
Laura Dugger: Yes, he does. In light of your story, I love what you wrote in page 11 of your book, Hello Mornings. You said, "But I was passionate about the nobility of motherhood. I knew the power of a mother's influence, positive or negative, present or absent. A mother's impact is undeniable. I clearly felt God calling me to speak encouragement to moms." [00:08:09]
So clearly, Kat, your motherhood journey has played a part in you launching your podcast and writing a book and the blog that you had. So now how has life changed for you since stepping out in faith to encourage other moms?
Kat Lee: You know, I think God used it kind of like when you're in elementary school and you're asked to teach the section on I Live in Texas. So the section on the Alamo. And when you're asked to teach that, you learn so much more about the Alamo than you did when you studied the section on the battle at San Jacinto or whatever, because somebody else taught it. When you're asked to teach something, you dive so much more deeply into it and you learn so much more about it.
And I feel like encouraging moms and using the blog and podcast and now writing a book has just kind of pushed me to focus even more on this topic that's so important to me. It's helped me to focus even more on who I want to be and the kind of mom that I want to be. [00:09:11]
It's also God's used it to connect me to mentors that I would have never known. I've been able to become good friends with Sally Clarkson. She's just been such an encouragement to me, just speaking truth and life, and just love reading her books and everything that she does. And just different women that have invested in me and loved on me and good friends to walk with who maybe understand my season a little better that I might not have met just in my hometown.
You know, sometimes when we step out in faith, we're able to connect with people that we might never have otherwise. God has really used it to encourage me and to kind of uplift me and uphold me as well by giving me great people that have invested in me along the way. So it's been a real blessing. It was scary.
You know, when I first started the blog, I was like, I'm still not qualified to do this. But, you know, the more I think about it, how many people in the Bible were qualified to do whatever it is that God wanted them to do? You know, David was not qualified to fight Goliath. Esther was not qualified to be queen. Not to put myself up there with those people, but I don't think God calls the qualified. He qualifies the called, as I'm sure many pastors have said over the years. But I think it's so true. And just stepping out in faith, it's been neat to see how He has equipped me for the journey. [00:10:25]
Laura Dugger: Well, and your journey even evolved to you having this revelation of encouraging people to wake up for their day instead of waking up to their day. So can you share a little bit more about that transition?
Kat Lee: Yeah, it wasn't pretty. My kids were little. And for those of you with little kids, how old are your kids, Laura?
Laura Dugger: They are all five and under. We have four.
Kat Lee: You're in the thick of it. My kids, I don't remember how old they were exactly at the time, but they were small and they were at the age when alarm clocks meant nothing and sleeping in meant nothing. They would come in and... my alarm clock was them jumping on me, you know, asking for Cheerios or a cartoon or whatever. And I would just start the day on the defensive, waking up to them instead of for them.
One particular morning, I just... I like to say I had a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day and it was not even 9 a.m. I'd been grumpy. And I just remember thinking, My kids are going to need so much therapy for the way I've behaved today. You know, just one of those days where you just feel like you're failing at everything. [00:11:28]
I guess they'd been able to go down for a nap. And I went out to my minivan in my garage in Texas in July, which means it was like 5,000 degrees in there. And, you know, when you're already feeling bad about yourself, you just kind of go to the most uncomfortable place possible. So I'm sweating and ugly crying and just a general pity party mess. And I was praying and I was thinking, "God, I wanted to be a mom. I wanted to do this thing well. I know the nobility of motherhood. I know the greatness of this calling and I stink at it. God, what am I doing wrong? How can I turn this ship around?"
I just really felt like what you just said. You know, just you need to stop waking up to your kids and start waking up for your kids. I was like, well, start waking up a little bit early. And I'm like, my kids wake up at, oh, dark 30. I get up early. I've got that nailed. And it was more like, no, I want you just to wake up with purpose and intention and connect with me first. And so I did. [00:12:32]
But, you know, with little kids, you don't know when they're going to wake up. So it wasn't like I could get up and have this magical candle-lit quiet time that was an hour long with worship music playing and have it be the perfect amount of time every morning. It was more of a God, I need you desperately and I'm going to connect with you any way I can every morning and not wait for that perfect quiet time, quote unquote.
And so it just started like that and just started connecting with Him each day and really learning about how our quiet time isn't meant to be just this specific time in the morning. But it's kind of more of a launching point for us to connect with Him all throughout the day.
Our schedule is part of our worship. How am I spending the time that God is giving me? My energy level and how I manage that is part of my worship. How am I honoring the body that he's given me? So, yeah, that's just kind of created this thing that we call God. Plan. Move. And that's kind of the focus of my morning time. How can I connect with God? How can I plan my day according to his purposes? And how can I move and have the energy to move for his glory? [00:13:41]
Laura Dugger: Now how has this simple practice of "God. Plan. Move" changed your life?
Kat Lee: Really, ultimately, just to start my day focused on Jesus. Every morning I try to have my first thought be Psalm 143:8, which is kind of my theme verse. And it says, "Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love for I have put my trust in you. Show me the way I should go, for to you I entrust my life."
And while I say the same thing every morning, I really want that to be the cry of my heart. I want to truly put my trust in Him and not in anything else that could happen that day. Not in my spectacular plan or my awesome productivity or whatever else. I want my trust to be wholly and solely in Him. I want to follow Him throughout the day.
I want Him to show me the way I should go. You know, not just, okay, I met with you, Jesus, check, now I'm going to go about my day separate from you. That's kind of how it can often be. I'm going to read my Bible reading for the day and then I go about my day. [00:14:43] But instead, the idea of God. Plan. Move has helped me to just really incorporate and weave my quiet time in throughout my day, so that I'm spending time with Him. It starts my day focused on Him.
It jumpstarts my day because I'm spending time with Him. I'm looking at my schedule for the day, submitting it to Him, saying, "Okay, this is what I have on the plate for today. Anything need to go? Anything need to stay? I don't want my schedule or my plans to be my idol. I want them to be my sacrifice. So God, I just submit this to you today. What needs to be added or changed?
I think it's amazing how we have the opportunity to connect with and commune with the God of heaven who created us. Each day he knows exactly who we're going to encounter. He knows exactly what challenges we're going to face. And if we'll just take the time to listen to Him and connect with Him, He can guide us to the exact things we should do, the places we should go, the things that need to be on our schedule or off our schedule. [00:15:45]
So it's just really been a powerful habit for me to jumpstart my day with Him and then submit my day to Him. And then the move time, just to make sure I have the energy to follow Him wherever He's calling me to do and whatever He wants me to do. I don't want to start my day great and then eat a bag of donuts and get frustrated with my kids because I've just had a sugar high and then a sugar low.
So I really want to kind of have a holistic approach to my faith in that the way I treat my body is honoring to Him or not honoring to Him. And how much energy I have is honoring to Him or not honoring to Him. So it's been a real blessing to me just to feel like my life is kind of balanced. Absolutely not perfect, but balanced.
Laura Dugger: So balance is one of the main benefits. Are there any other benefits you can think of that could inspire us to incorporate our own three-step morning process?
Kat Lee: The primary benefit, just being connected with God and starting our day with Him. It's kind of like you think of a football player. [00:16:49] If a football player goes to, let's say, the Super Bowl, what he's never going to do is he's never just going to run out in the field and be like, "Okay, everybody, I'm here. Let me throw the football."
No matter what, no matter how late his Uber drops him off for the championship game, the first place he's going to go, he's going to go to the coach because the coach knows the opposing team. The coach knows the opposing team's plays. The coach knows who's injured on his team, what's happening. He knows the whole situation. So that quarterback is always going to connect with the coach and throughout the game, he's going to connect to the coach.
I don't think it's really any different in our lives. I think sports is just kind of a microcosm of what our whole life is. And really just the core benefit of a morning routine is to be connected with the Lord because He can lead us to everything and anything that we need. And if we try to live our lives apart from Him, we're pretty much destined, I think, for disappointment and to live subpar lives than what we could live if we're connected with the one who created us and has a purpose and plan for us. [00:17:51]
Laura Dugger: I couldn't agree with that more. If somebody wants to start their own three-step morning process in hopes of eventually making a habit, how can they get started?
Kat Lee: Well, we actually have a super, super simple thing that we call the three-minute morning, and it's based on the “God. Plan. Move” concept. So it's just one minute for God time, one minute for plan time, and one minute for move time.
So just to make it very simple, we've actually given specific instructions. But again, this is totally... anybody can mix and match however it works for them. But what we encourage people to do is start with... for their God time, just pray Psalm 143. That's that verse that I just shared. "Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love, for I have put my trust in you. Show me the way I should go, for to you I entrust my life."
And just taking a minute and just letting that be the cry of your heart. Be like, God, I just submit my will and my plans and everything to you today. I trust you and I want to follow you. And just taking a minute, praying that to Him. Again, that could be any verse if you want to mix it up. [00:18:54]
Then plan time, just looking at your calendar. Okay, what do I have on my schedule today? God, anything need to go? Anything need to be added? Am I missing anything? Am I forgetting anything? Bring to mind anything important that I need to be doing today.
Then honestly, that's probably going to take like 10 seconds for most people. But if you take the full minute, I don't think we have enough white space in our culture today. I think it's powerful just to take that whole minute and be like, okay, God, I'm really just going to listen. I'm not just going to listen real quick and hope you say something right away. I'm going to sit and just wait here for that full minute.
Then the last one is move time. And we encourage people to drink a glass of water. I think most people are pretty dehydrated drinking sodas and coffee. Just starting your day well-hydrated is a great place to start. But you could also take 10 deep breaths or do jumping jacks. Just something to say, Hey, I realize that it is a gift to have this body. With whatever level of health that I have or whatever level of mobility I have, it's a gift and I want to honor that gift. [00:19:55] I might not be able to do a massive workout today but I'm going to do something and start my day with something to give myself energy so that today can be a great day.
Just three minutes. Psalm 143:8. Look at your calendar. Drink a glass of water or do some jumping jacks. It's super simple. We encourage people to do it every day. And, you know, I know a lot of people might think, oh, that's really simple. That's not enough. I need to do something huge. But I think more often than not when we try to do something huge, it doesn't last.
So if people can just start with these three minutes. And then they can do more after that of whatever they want to. More God time. More plan time. More move time. But having this as a consistent base for me has been game-changing. Because even in seasons of sickness or whatever, I'm able to do these three things.
And it reminds me and establishes my identity that I'm a woman who meets with Jesus every day. I'm a woman who lives with purpose every single day. I'm a woman who honors my health every single day. Even if it's just this tiny, tiny thing. [00:20:54] So I think it's a real powerful thing, even though it's really simple. But it's an easy way for everybody listening to get started.
Laura Dugger: Definitely. It's such a bite-sized place to begin. Like you said, that'll be encouraging to see what it grows into. Let's take a quick break to hear a message from our sponsor.
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Laura Dugger: I know that this three-step habit you articulate has been used in such a helpful way to already benefit so many people, myself included. So will you teach us what you've learned through this process about the power of habits?
Kat Lee: Well, I'm kind of a habit junkie, honestly. I love reading books about habit-building. [00:23:02] I think the way that God designed our brains to just naturally want to turn things we do repetitively into habits is fascinating.
I think one of my favorite things about real habits is that when there's things that we want to do, a lot of times we think that we just need a lot of self-discipline or a lot of willpower. But the cool thing about habits is that it replaces willpower and self-discipline.
So if you can do something small continuously, you stop having to think about it. It builds this neural pathway in your brain. It's kind of like Lewis and Clark. When they first crossed the continent, it took them, what, like six months to cross the continent. Now you can get on the interstate and cross the country in a matter of days. Because of the foundation that they laid and all the people that went afterwards day by day or whatever, it continually reinforced that path that was built across the country.
It's kind of the same with habits. Even if it's a small thing that we're doing every single day, the more we do it, the more it's ingrained into our brains, the less we have to think about it, the more it becomes kind of a natural response. [00:24:11] It eliminates the need to have to gut it out and work out every day or gut it out and have our quiet time if that's something that's hard for us to do.
The main thing that I've learned about habits is just the power of them, if we can actually build them. And that the way to build them is through really small, tiny steps. Because a lot of times we think of habits more like New Year's resolutions. Some big thing. "I'm going to suddenly wake up an hour earlier. I'm suddenly going to work out for 30 minutes."
It usually, for most people, doesn't happen that way. Just like we don't suddenly develop bad habits, we don't suddenly develop good habits. It's a process, and we need to kind of take baby steps, just like a little kid learning to ride a bike or play an instrument. They don't start off with big chunks. They start off with little ones. So I just love how powerful habits are so that we don't need all the willpower. The easiest way to build habits is by starting with really, really, really ridiculously tiny ones. [00:25:11]
Laura Dugger: You've been at this work for years. What stories come to mind that you can share to illustrate the impact of this habit on people's lives?
Kat Lee: It's been so neat just to get emails from people just sharing how maybe they felt overwhelmed by guilt because they weren't having the quiet time that they used to have in college, and now they have little kids. And so they can't spend an hour, and they're just feeling guilty about it and guilty about it. And they started the three-minute morning, and they're like, I don't need to feel guilty. And just as they're connecting with the Lord, He's able to lead them to verses about grace and about His love, and they're able to grow on that small habit instead of just being crushed by guilt and then not doing anything.
And so I just love how it allows people to restart, whether it's a habit that they used to having when they were younger, and now it's been harder to do as their families and their lives have gotten more complex, or whether it's women who are restarting after big changes in their lives and different seasons. The kids have gone away or whatever. [00:26:14]
But then there's also been people who have read the Hello Mornings book because they're interested in a morning routine or have found the site because they're interested in a morning routine. I actually had one comment, I think it was a book review, it said, "I'm not a religious person, but this book made me want to be." And I love how just the idea of a morning routine is very interesting to a lot of people and it's drawn some people in and really started their relationship with the Lord.
Laura Dugger: Wow, that's incredible. And He can use anything to pursue us and start a relationship with us.
Kat Lee: Absolutely.
Laura Dugger: And I love in your book, you say on page 38, "There is so much power and awareness in knowing yourself and those around you." So can you just share why that life skill is important and how you personally cultivated this awareness?
Kat Lee: You know, just like anything in our lives, whether it's our computer or our car, it comes with an owner's manual. And if we're going to get the full use out of it, we read the owner's manual. I couldn't figure out how to connect the Bluetooth to my car for a long time. [00:27:19] I am a pretty tech-savvy person. And I was like, Why is this not working? And so I'm like, well, maybe just I should read the owner's manual. So I read the owner's manual and I was able to do it. Years of frustration were erased just by reading the information that came with it.
So I think it's sort of a natural thing. The more we can understand the tools that we have at hand, the better we can use them. Our personality and who we are is really a tool that God has given us because we're like no one else in the world. And the better that we can understand that for His glory, not just for our own selves or to think more of ourselves... If we like what our personality test results are or whatever, it's not just for us. It's ultimately all this is, How can I know myself better so that I can better glorify God in my life?
I just think it's an incredibly powerful thing because then we know why we're responding to people. And it kind of creates this space between things that happen to us and then our response. So, for example, I can be introverted after, you know, a lot of time with people. And if I wasn't aware of that... and I remember not being aware of that in college. [00:28:26]
And I remember, you know, somebody then coming up to me at the end of maybe a mission trip where I was with a bunch of people, and I was so annoyed by this person and I couldn't figure out why because I used to like them. Like at the beginning of the trip, I really liked them. But at the end of the trip, I just did not want to be around them. I just thought it was them or me or I didn't know.
As I've gotten older, as I've learned more about how I'm made and what drains me and what fills me, I've learned, oh, I need some processing time. And if I don't have that, then I just kind of shut down. And if I had known that back then, maybe I wouldn't have been so rude to this person.
Then now with my kids, if I get back from speaking somewhere, I know I need some processing time. And it allows me to say, oh, kids, I'm so excited to see you. Mom's going to go for a quick run or a quick walk or whatever. And I know that I need that time. So between seeing my kids or seeing people, I'm able to build that buffer and then my responses are so much more healthy and life-giving to myself and to other people. So it's been very helpful to me. [00:29:32]
You asked ways that I've cultivated this. I think it's just taking different personality tests, being aware, and noticing, Oh, I'm really grumpy right now. Why am I really grumpy right now? Or, oh, I didn't like that. Why didn't I like that?
So, you know, that can be journaling. That can be just noticing things. It can be taking personality tests. Sometimes I like making drainer filler lists on a piece of paper on one side. I just list all the things. What are the things that tend to drain me? And then on the other side, what are the things that tend to fill me up? And it's going to be different for everybody. But just being aware, I think, is the first step.
Laura Dugger: I think that's a really helpful tip so that listeners can know how to grow in their own way in this area. Can you also debunk the myth that this is narcissistic?
Kat Lee: I think honestly that that could even be a tool of the enemy to make people think, I don't need to understand how God made me. I don't need to understand the way that he designed me. [00:30:32] And then the less we know about ourselves... you know, it eliminates that buffer. I can't even imagine thinking that it's narcissistic. I think anything is only narcissistic when our ultimate goal is ourselves.
So whatever it is, as long as our ultimate goal is to bring honor and glory to Jesus, then it's probably a good thing. And if our ultimate goal is to bring honor and glory to ourselves, then it's probably something that we need to get rid of. So I think that can be applied to all kinds of things that are both good and bad, and it just depends on the intent of our heart.
Laura Dugger: Oh, that's well said. I was reading this morning in 1 Corinthians 12, and it first starts telling about how the Holy Spirit gives us gifts for the betterment of everyone, or to build everybody else up, basically. Specifically, in 1 Corinthians 12:27, in the Amplified version, I think it just summarizes what you're talking about. And it says, "Now you collectively are Christ's body, and individually you are members of it, each with his own special purpose and function." And I think you're just saying, discover that so that you can serve others and glorify God. [00:31:45]
Kat Lee: Absolutely. You know, if I went back to that football analogy, if a kicker went out onto the field and was just like, well, I want to be a right tackle, the quarterback is going to get sacked every single time. You know, they're not going to be some big tackle person. If they took the time to evaluate themselves and their gifts and their likes and dislikes, they might like tackling people, but maybe that's not exactly what they need to be doing. And so, you know, if they're evaluating, Oh, I can really kick the ball really far, then they realize their right place on the team, and then it allows the whole team to thrive. I think that's kind of where narcissism comes in.
If we aren't evaluating ourselves, and, you know, how God made us, then we might just do the things that we kind of think are cool instead of understanding our place and where God put us and the people that he put around us. And I think taking the time to do this just allows everyone to thrive around us as well.
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So if people do want to grow in this area, you've mentioned even like that filler drainer list, but can you think of any other questions that we can start asking ourselves or maybe ask others to help grow in general awareness?
Kat Lee: Yeah. I think thinking through how we process emotions is important. When I get angry, how am I processing that? When I feel stressed, how am I processing that? Or am I even taking the time to process that? Or am I just kind of flowing through life and then I have this boiling cauldron of emotion underneath me?
There's actually an app that I've really liked lately. It's called Flow State. And you can get it on your computer or on an iPad or whatever. Basically, what it does, you set a timer, it's usually like five minutes, and you just have to keep typing, and if you stop, it deletes everything you've written, which sounds terrifying, I know, to some people. [00:34:20]
But I love it because it's been a great way for me to just journal and process my emotions without thinking through anything too much. I know some people do this... I forget the name of the book, but this woman recommends writing warning pages, where you write, I think it's maybe three pages, and then you throw it away.
I just think even that process of just writing whatever's coming to your brain, whatever you're feeling, whatever you're thinking, getting it all out there can be a great way to just even start some self-awareness as well.
Laura Dugger: That's a great place to get started. And even in your book on page 51, you have journal spaces to answer questions like, which activities did I look forward to? Or, which activities left me with more energy for the rest of my day? Which activities drained me? So, some very practical questions. But I think your book is a tool that can also help people grow in this general awareness.
Kat Lee: Yeah, absolutely. I think there's a bunch of resources in that chapter, just personality test links and that sort of thing. And again, lots of questions and journaling space so that, you know, they can think through how God made them and the things that maybe they haven't even considered before and can shed so much light on how they respond to things and maybe give them that buffer for how they truly want to respond to life. [00:35:36]
Laura Dugger: Well, you've definitely inspired us today, Kat, and you just have a way of guiding us clearly with ways to begin this journey for ourselves. And I'm excited to hear from listeners how this improves their lives and what changes they implement after hearing your ideas.
So if anybody wants further accountability, where can listeners connect with you online?
Kat Lee: Sure. They can go to hellomornings.org. That'll connect them to our podcast, to our online academy, to our social media accounts, and all that stuff.
Laura Dugger: Awesome. Okay, we'll link to all of that in our show notes and on our "Resources" tab on our website. I have one final question for you. We are called The Savvy Sauce because "savvy" is synonymous with practical knowledge. So Kat, what is your savvy sauce?
Kat Lee: The thing that I'm loving right now is doing things in batches. This is super practical, but I'm realizing that I love it. I've learned that I don't love making lunch every day or cooking dinners every night. I like sometimes to rely on my past self, if that makes sense. [00:36:44]
So, you know, maybe one Saturday I'll make a whole bunch of breakfast burritos, or I'll cook something in the crock pot and then put it into containers and put them in the freezer. And I feel like it just helps me on days when I feel like everything is falling apart, that I'm like, Oh wait, I already made dinner. I'm awesome. You know, it's just like that extra encouragement that, okay, I haven't lost everything. I still have some stuff together. I can put a meal on the table. Nobody needs to know. Not that I'm trying to trick anybody, but it feels to everybody like it was this great home-cooked meal when really I just pulled it out of the freezer and reheated it and put it in a nice bowl.
So just doing stuff like that in batches, whether it's cooking, whether it's work, and writing a whole bunch or recording a whole bunch at one time, I think I've learned about my personality. And this might be true for some listeners as well, that kind of once you're in the flow of doing one thing, it can be so helpful just to do a whole bunch of it, and then you don't have to think about it for a while. So that's the current thing that's been a blessing to me. [00:37:44]
Laura Dugger: That is a great savvy sauce. Kat, I just love your gentle approach. And thank you for spending time with us and giving us so many practical tips to implement into our own lives.
Kat Lee: Aw, thanks so much for having me, Laura. It's really been a pleasure.
Laura Dugger: One more thing before you go. Have you heard the term "gospel" before? It simply means good news. And I want to share the best news with you. But it starts with the bad news. Every single one of us were born sinners and God is perfect and holy, so He cannot be in the presence of sin. Therefore, we're separated from Him.
This means there's absolutely no chance we can make it to heaven on our own. So for you and for me, it means we deserve death and we can never pay back the sacrifice we owe to be saved. We need a savior. But God loved us so much, He made a way for His only Son to willingly die in our place as the perfect substitute. [00:38:44]
This gives us hope of life forever in right relationship with Him. That is good news. Jesus lived the perfect life we could never live and died in our place for our sin. This was God's plan to make a way to reconcile with us so that God can look at us and see Jesus.
We can be covered and justified through the work Jesus finished if we choose to receive what He has done for us. Romans 10:9 says that if you confess with your mouth Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead, you will be saved.
So would you pray with me now? Heavenly, Father, thank You for sending Jesus to take our place. I pray someone today right now is touched and chooses to turn their life over to You. Will You clearly guide them and help them take their next step in faith to declare You as Lord of their life? We trust You to work and change their lives now for eternity. In Jesus name, we pray, amen. [00:39:49]
If you prayed that prayer, you are declaring Him for me, so me for Him, you get the opportunity to live your life for Him.
At this podcast, we are called Savvy for a reason. We want to give you practical tools to implement the knowledge you have learned. So you're ready to get started?
First, tell someone. Say it out loud. Get a Bible. The first day I made this decision my parents took me to Barnes and Noble to get the Quest NIV Bible and I love it. Start by reading the book of John.
Get connected locally, which basically means just tell someone who is part of the church in your community that you made a decision to follow Christ. I'm assuming they will be thrilled to talk with you about further steps such as going to church and getting connected to other believers to encourage you.
We want to celebrate with you too. So feel free to leave a comment for us if you made a decision for Christ. We also have show notes included where you can read Scripture that describes this process. [00:40:50]
Finally, be encouraged. Luke 15:10 says, "In the same way, I tell you, there is rejoicing in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner who repents." The heavens are praising with you for your decision today.
If you've already received this good news, I pray that you have someone else to share it with today. You are loved and I look forward to meeting you here next time.
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