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Practical Chats for Intentional Living
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Monday Feb 04, 2019
Monday Feb 04, 2019
[00:00:00] <music>
Laura Dugger: Welcome to The Savvy Sauce, where we have practical chats for intentional living. I'm your host, Laura Dugger, and I'm so glad you're here.
[00:00:17] <music>
Laura Dugger: This episode was made possible by an anonymous donor to Midwest Food Bank. They paid the sponsorship fee to help spread the word that Midwest Food Bank works to alleviate hunger and poverty throughout the world by gathering food donations and distributing them to nonprofit agencies and disaster sites.
If you would like to learn more about Midwest Food Bank, make a donation, or see what volunteer opportunities are available, please visit them at MidwestFoodBank.org.
Jen Rathmell is a wife, mother to three, missionary, and licensed professional counselor. Her family currently lives in Thailand, where she works as a school counselor at the school her children attend. You will quickly hear her passion for teaching as she shares practical steps for discipling our children.
Here's today's chat.
Hello, Jen.
Jen Rathmell: Hi, thanks for having me.
Laura Dugger: Yes, we're so excited to have you join us today. Let's just begin by hearing a bit of your story.
Jen Rathmell: Well, it's a little bit complicated. I was born into a Christian home, pretty faithful parents, really heard the story of Jesus from a very, very early age, but kind of really had an elementary view of what that looks like and kind of thought that this was more about just being safe and secure and not going to hell. So that was the kind of beginning birthplace of my walk with Jesus, which is not a bad birthplace. It's a good birthplace. But it then evolved later into a more full understanding of what the gospel does for each of us. [00:02:07]
As an early Christian, it's a lot about what we do and if we do it right or if we do it wrong, and then that kind of grows and matures into why do we do what we do? And had some really intentional mentors helping me through my high school time and began to really scratch at, what is driving you? What are your motives? And then that really begins to unpack the gospel.
So very thankful for faithful parents who were faithful, teaching us the Bible, teaching us that church was really important. And then other people who came alongside of us. Thankful to youth pastors, thankful to college professors, thankful to just friends that came alongside of me.
That's some of the story, the maturation of my walk with God. And now here I am, you know, it's been probably 30 years of walking with the Lord. So that's kind of where I'm at now with my own children that I'm teaching to hopefully walk with the Lord. [00:03:11]
Laura Dugger: That's awesome. Just a few more details. Before we started recording, you mentioned you were born in Japan. Is that right?
Jen Rathmell: Yes, my parents were teachers overseas so I lived overseas my whole growing up years till really I was 25. Then they moved back here to America. I then moved to Germany. I was kind of transient most of my life. That was a shaping influence.
I had friends that moved. So while I stayed in one place kind of on a military base and my parents were teachers, a lot of my friends were transient. They moved around a lot. So I got really good at goodbyes. I got really good at hellos. I got really good at assessing whether I was willing to be friends with people, a lot of those third culture kind of kids.
Now we live overseas and are missionaries, and our kids are those same people. My one child said to me, "Wow, if we're the children of third culture kids, we're really messed up." So my husband was a chaplain's kid. So he was also a pretty transient military family. [00:04:17]
Laura Dugger: And your husband is Buddy, and you all have three kids.
Jen Rathmell: Yeah.
Laura Dugger: You said you're visiting back in America right now, but currently you're living in Thailand. Can you just tell us a bit about what you're doing over there?
Jen Rathmell: We had done youth ministry overseas in Japan for 10 years. My husband is a person who wants to change the world and I'm a person who changed a few people in my life. So he is a big picture guy, I'm a small picture guy.
He was very moved by atrocities of human trafficking and he went on a trip to Cambodia and began to do some work with some underprivileged people and some anti-human trafficking things. And when he came back and landed in Japan, I saw him walk off the plane and I knew I was like, "We're moving. We are moving to Thailand. I know we are." So that was the beginning.
That move kind of helped facilitate us in various ways of joining the fight against human trafficking, which I mean, most of your listeners will know that that's a very prevalent problem, especially in Southeast Asia. [00:05:24] Then I began to work at my kids' school. I'm busy making sure that the family is staying reasonably upright and my husband is changing the world.
Laura Dugger: Wow. And you are definitely a big part of that. Do you mind sharing the ages of your kids currently?
Jen Rathmell: Totally. We now have a senior. I'm a senior mom. She's 17, our oldest. Her name is Adrienne. We have Jack, who is our sophomore. He's just turned 16, and we have a 14-year-old 9th grader.
Laura Dugger: Well, our social media lead, Lauren, is the one who connected you and me, and I just asked her to describe you, and here's what Lauren had to say. "Jen is the best disciple-maker I've ever seen." How would you even define disciple maker and why is that an important goal for all of us to have?
Jen Rathmell: Wow, really funny story about Lauren. I think I feel like I should tell you. She was at our house in Thailand — we met in Thailand — and we were sitting there, she was telling me all about this farm in Illinois and how they were just in Thailand for a little bit and they're going to go back and be farmers and all those kinds of things. [00:06:44] And the Lord really kind of whispered in my ear, she will be on your couch someday. And I'm a counselor.
I remember that night saying to my husband, "That girl's going to be in my life someday. I just know it." And fast forward five years later, she's someone that I've got to be in a big part of her life. She is so dear to me. So I think if I was to define disciple-maker I would say that it's a person who is a teacher. Disciple means to teach basically. And discipline means the same thing.
So what that would mean to me is that you are intentional about connecting and growing a person. And then we also, as people, are doing that. We're missionaries and you know, the good old missionary verse that's at the end of Matthew 28, where it's like, go into all the world and preach the gospel and make disciples. [00:07:46]
And I will tell you, going to the world and preach the gospel is probably the most concentrated part of that verse. Because of course, we got to raise support. We got to get out into the world. We need to preach the gospel, because without preaching the gospel, there's really not disciple-making. But disciple-making is really kind of the end goal of all of missions, of all of our lives, of going across the street.
I remember saying to my husband once, "No one will support us. No one will give money to us to make disciples, babe. Nobody will. It's just not trendy enough. It's not sexy enough. It's not saving people from child trafficking. Nobody's going to give us money to raise up and make disciples."
And he was like, "Well, then we have to be faithful, because that's what Jesus says to do. So we're going to do that." So it's a calling on our lives. It's who we are. There's other people doing amazing things in other places, but we really take seriously that part of Matthew 28, where we are called to make disciples. [00:08:53] It's a slow and steady pace. It's not an easy win. It's a long haul.
Laura Dugger: That's such a good definition. I even love how you said it's intentionally teaching and disciplining, which totally sounds like the definition of parenting.
Jen Rathmell: Yes, it does.
Laura Dugger: Now will you just share what you did through different seasons of parenting to disciple your own children?
Jen Rathmell: Sure. Okay, so we have three kids. We now have a senior in high school. We have a sophomore and a freshman. At one point, they were all under 4 years old, and it was really fun for me to think through these different seasons. I really leaned heavily on Paul David Tripp and Ted Tripp and their philosophy of gospel-centered kind of parenting, so that I don't want to steal their thunder. This is really a lot of their thunder. [00:09:47]
Toddlers are so unique in that, you know, as a counselor and a teacher of psychology, they have the most neurons ever in their brains, but they are everywhere and they need to learn. They need to learn to obey. That is not something that people necessarily find as an important goal.
But I would say as toddlers, the most important thing we could do to teach our children was to obey. We needed them to come to us when we called them. We needed them to not delay in responding to us. We needed them to trust that there was someone who cared so deeply about them that they needed to submit to.
It's not trendy, but it's important for us to tell our children, you must obey. So as they can learn that, it creates a submission to God, because ultimately we're transferring these little toddlers off to the world at some point in time. [00:10:58] So I would say that for toddlers, that is the most important intentional teaching was. You must obey and learn to submit. So that's toddlers.
Grade school, things begin to move into a little bit more understanding. I think in grade school, the thing I would most encourage parents to do is to reflect the good gifts and talents that you see in your children. They're at a stage where they're starting to learn these things. They're starting to cook. They're starting to find interest in things. They're starting to feel like: I can actually press on the world and make a dent in it.
There is no greater time for you to just lavish awareness in their lives. You're great at soccer. You're great at asking questions. You're great at forgiving. You're so great at being creative. We all have one child that's like this, and she's our last one. [00:12:00] And in Thailand, cheese is kind of like gold. And you buy it in this very large five pounds of cheese, and it's like $30, you know? So it's just precious.
So we had this log of mozzarella cheese, and it's meant to last us for a couple months. And I come home to my third child, who's our creative genius, and she has it submerged in water. $30 is submerged in water. And I remember just being like, "I so badly just want to throw the bank account book at her." And she goes, "Mom, I know I'm figuring out how to make string cheese because I miss those little string cheeses from America." Because this mozzarella doesn't really do that, right?
So she goes, "No, I'm just going to kind of melt it all down, and then I'm going to roll it." Of course, none of this is going to happen. And I know this is not going to happen. And I remembered that God gave me the strength to just look at her and say, "What a clever idea. You are so clever." But inside I was raging at $30, you know, turning into like kind of a mozzarella slime that was happening. [00:13:20]
So in this stage of grade school, like swallow your pride, swallow your checkbook, and encourage the things that you see in your children. Because I'm not creative, and I realized I have to speak life into this girl. So that's one thing I would encourage to really intentionally teach and self-aware, give some self-awareness to your kids in grade school.
Junior high. Junior high is just a pretty tumultuous time in general. Honestly, just hang on, hang on for dear life. Trust that God is doing something in your child's life and commit to them that you will see them through when you are not going anywhere. So I don't know that much of anything feels intentional and productive, but just be faithful through the junior high years. I've come out on the other side and it's beautiful.
And then high school is where we're currently at. We have all high schoolers this year. It's when you see, you see that faithfulness, you know, from toddlerhood, you've taught children to be under submission to people because at this point they're going to have coaches, they're going to have other teachers, they're going to have youth group leaders, and they're going to have their voice, and they're going to disagree, and they're going to want to make an impact, and they're going to fall in love, and they're going to all of those things. [00:14:50]
So the fruitfulness of a person understanding they're under authority, a person understanding their gifts, a person understanding that their parents will not leave them or forsake them in junior high, begins to kind of culminate in the high school years. And it's not perfect. You know, boys are a little bit behind this. I think they say like 9th-grade boys, you love them a lot more when they become juniors in high school. But you start to see the crafting of all of those intentional things that you have faithfully pressed into these kids' lives.
Then, I don't have adult children, but I would tell you we are studying people with adult children like they are an AP exam right now. And every stage we found people who we were like, That's what we want our kids to look like. I mean not like them exactly, not necessarily be great at what they do. But their soul we wanted them to be at that place.
So we are studying adult children like it's, you know, some sort of standardized test right now. And the thing that we have watched is it's essential, it's essential to just become your child's greatest fan. [00:16:10] You transition out of the intentionality. If it's asked for, you give it. This is what we've kind of seen.
And the intentionality is we love you. We're thrilled about you. We're your biggest fan. So that's what I would say. I have been hallmarks and then futuristic hallmarks of how we might teach children.
Laura Dugger: I love all of those tips. As a parent, there's so many good things that we want to teach our children, such as finding joy or working hard, serving others, giving generously, and the list can go on. So how did you decide what to focus on?
Jen Rathmell: One of the biggest problems with parents is we just are always assessing, right, maybe too much so that we want to ride that line of intentionality, but also some of it just letting God's Spirit do work. So I would say that the most impacting times, maybe I'm turning your question into my own question, the times where my children have seemed to understand kind of a sticky faith kind of thing, where lessons like working hard has really stuck to them, have been when we as parents are going through certain things and we invite them into that world. [00:17:28]
So we had a business's mission project — Lauren knows all about this. She walked through it with us — that just failed. I mean, we went into crazy debt. We used every bit, every drop of our money, believing that God had called us into something. And at the end of the day, looking at each other going, "God called us into failure," which was super hard.
But I will tell you that along those paths, we worked super hard. We spent a Christmas in Cambodia launching this business. My kids, you know, we had like a little tiny tree in a hotel room and we were working eight to eight at night throughout their Christmas break trying to launch this business's mission. And it was two years later where Adrienne, our oldest, said, "I watched you clinging to God like you've never clinged before."
I think that when we are going through things, when we are scared, when we are afraid, when we are trusting God, bring your children into that. They will see the stickiness of your faith. They are seeing you struggle. They are seeing you doubt. They are seeing you rejoice. They are seeing you be a part of what God's given to do and will do in their future and what their parents are doing. [00:18:50]
So you would just constantly be thinking, how can I be sharing in the work that God is doing and the lessons that He's teaching me? Bring them in. And that will really give them the traction that I think that they need.
Laura Dugger: That actually gives me a lot of freedom because instead of just adding one more thing to the list or knowing what to choose to focus on, you're saying, You're in it, just be open and vulnerable and teach them along the way. Is that right?
Jen Rathmell: Yeah. I think if we are just saying to our children, here's where we are, here's our rejoicing, here's our lows, here's our highs, walk with us and come alongside of us and we'll rejoice with you, they'll learn as we are trying to be faithful. They will see your faithfulness in serving the Lord in whatever way you're doing it. It doesn't matter. It's kind of like Deuteronomy 6, right? Just walk with them. [00:19:48]
Intentionality is good. But what I've seen kids really stick with them is when they walked a mile with their parents as they trusted the Lord. We need both.
Laura Dugger: What are you glad that you did choose to emphasize with your children?
Jen Rathmell: Definitely the concept of the heart. You know, we have a really positive firstborn. She's a very insightful person. I remember her a couple of years ago saying to me, "if you had not taught me the heart is the wellspring of life, I would know nothing about what I know when it comes to motives and ideas and why I do what I do." And I thought, "Wow, I'm so thankful that we were very, very, very diligent to say, "What is coming out of your heart?”
Out of the heart the mouth speaks, right? So when my kids would say things like "I didn't mean that," you have to call that out biblically. No, actually you really did mean it because your mouth just facilitated the picture of your heart. Now, let's talk about that. Let's talk about how we need to repent and how good Jesus is that he would die for sinners like you and me." [00:21:03]
So if you disconnect behavior from the heart, you are setting yourself up for a disconnect from who and what the gospel is in a person's life. You just have to not deal only with behavior, but you must emphasize the heart. Otherwise, they will never need the gospel. Never.
Laura Dugger: And now a brief message from our sponsor.
Sponsor: This sponsorship message is unique because an anonymous donor to Midwest Food Bank paid the sponsorship fee in hopes of spreading awareness. Midwest Food Bank works to alleviate hunger and poverty throughout the world by gathering food donations and distributing them to nonprofit agencies and disaster sites.
Over $11.5 million worth of food is distributed to over 1,700 nonprofit organizations each month. In 2017 alone, over 132,000 family food boxes were distributed to disaster victims. [00:22:04] Thanks to the generosity of donors, the valuable work of volunteers, and most importantly, the blessings of God, Midwest Food Bank shares the blessings worldwide. More than 3.6 million people were impacted last year. This is done from their eight United States and two international locations.
To learn more about Midwest Food Bank, to make a donation, or to see what volunteer opportunities are available, please visit them at MidwestFoodBank.org.
Laura Dugger: Now on the flip side, what are the things that you're glad you did not focus on?
Jen Rathmell: We didn't get our kids involved in everything. Well, one, we lived overseas so that was helpful, but we just didn't try to make our children be good at everything and we didn't try to make them busy all the time. And I'm thankful for that because I really felt like the most stable thing for our children is a reasonably stable marriage and home. [00:23:11]
So I really believe the best gift you give your children is a good marriage, a great marriage even. So we spent a lot of time to probably what other people thought looked maybe a little selfish, cultivating our marriage and not cultivating our kids in every sport and every club and every activity in the world. We just spent a lot of time working on our marriage, working on being faithful, and creating a pretty safe and secure base for our kids. So we made an intentional choice to not be a part of our lives, those kinds of just busy activities.
Laura Dugger: And as you did choose your marriage, what did that look like before they were even school age? What are some examples of what you did?
Jen Rathmell: We had toddlers, similar to you, Laura, and at one point my husband looked at me and said, We've got to get a nanny. And I died a little inside at that moment because I thought I should be good enough to have margin in my life for three toddlers under age four. [00:24:18]
And we had a former student, because we were in youth ministry, and she was like, "I would love to come be your nanny." We lived in a 900-square-foot apartment in Japan, which is a lot kind of there. And all of our kids slept on the floor in one room, and we had a room for our nanny. And it was just those moments where even though for me, I was like, I want to be good enough to have margin and to be a good mom, but my husband stepped in and said, we need help.
We called one of our former students who was looking for something to do, and she helped us raise our kids for six months. And it was just what we needed. We just needed some help. So not being afraid to ask for help, not being afraid to be creative, not being afraid to drink a cup of coffee at 6 p.m. so that you can stay up and be alert and be around your husband as opposed to falling asleep with them when they fall asleep at 8 p.m., which was the story of my life. [00:25:17]
You know, just thinking outside the box and just making some hard calls that will maybe even be hard for you and your image. You know, I had to lay that down.
Laura Dugger: Well, if you could go back and give yourself advice as a new mama, what would you say to yourself?
Jen Rathmell: I was terrible at making my kids eat new foods. So if you were to ask them, they'd be like, Mom, you should have forced us to eat new foods. So that's like a simple, dumb thing. But if I could go back... and I said to my children, "I guess if that's my regret, I feel like, okay, we made it, you know, like in some small way. But I wish I had had the energy to force my kids to eat things that I don't like, you know, because I was the cook and so I would just make what I like. And now they kind of only like what I like. But they're growing in that and God can redeem it. It's simple. It's dumb. [00:26:10] So, you know, have your kids eat things.
The bigger, like big picture thing, and this is what I've learned, there are lots of ways to parent your children and love the gospel, and to teach the gospel. In fact, Lauren and I have a friend whose parents are so radically different than we do but her children, I am convinced, will love the Lord Jesus, and they will understand His ways, and they will serve Him. But she parents so differently than we do.
You know, we're kind of more of those people who have schedules and stuff. And then we have another friend who just had their third child and the word schedule would never come up in her vocabulary ever. They stay up till whenever. But I would say this, there's lots of ways to teach your children the gospel. And it doesn't have to look like this kind of very organized, scheduled person.
I did not think that when I was young. I thought there was only one way to kind of teach the children in a good way. [00:27:15] But it really was just the way that I'm wired.
So if you're not an organized person, I would just bless you to be a person who loves their children and faithfully teaches them God's ways. Because more than likely, you might not have organized kids either.
So there's a lot of variety and a lot of roads that lead to gospel-believing, humble children who want to please God. So that's what I would say. And I would just relieve myself from probably a lot of judging and encourage myself to be more encouraging to those kinds of parents.
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The Bible contrasts Satan and Jesus in John 10:10. In the ESV, it says, "The thief only comes to steal and kill and destroy. I come that they may have life and have it abundantly." So can you break that down for us? How do you see Satan trying to steal, kill, and destroy the family today?
Jen Rathmell: Well, well, I mean, it doesn't take much, right? You just have to look around and you see the brokenness of the world. One of the things I would say to our kids a lot was, Oh, honey, there's not a covenant relationship here between me and the children, but I have a covenant relationship with my husband. So I was really careful to distinguish my relationship with my children, which is wonderful, and I will die for them, but I'm not in a covenant relationship with them the way that God puts me and my husband in a covenant relationship. [00:29:33] We are one, and the children and I are not one.
So, I think there's no question that the onslaught of marriage, as the Bible describes it, is just... it's going for the jugular. And it's because that covenant relationship is defining and it's meant to exemplify the church and Christ's love for the church. So Satan is just... you can just see it in every kind of way, right? Redefining marriage, the statistics even in the church of marriages that are breaking down.
And here's the thing. I hope that many of your people that are listening to this in situations where maybe they have a broken marriage and they are kind of finding their way. It's not unredeemable. But it's so difficult to manage. You have multiple heart wounds in a broken marriage and in a broken family. And those heart wounds are kind of the fodder and the food for Satan to lie to your children. [00:30:38]
I cannot tell you... I mean, Laura, you know this, I know this, that the lies that Satan is speaking to your children largely are coming from these wounds that they've experienced and in a broken home situation. That is just tragic. I just feel like Satan is out to get our families. It's why I say, don't do ballet. Go on a date with your husband.
Your kid will be so much better off than being in a ballet class for you and your husband being unified together. That is exponentially going to impact your child. Now, it takes a lot of faith to believe that because you're keeping up with the world, and everybody's in ballet, and everybody's doing something, and they're in theater, and they're in Christian theater, and they're in all kinds of things. But it doesn't matter what they're in if you, as a married couple, are falling apart. It doesn't matter. No ballet class is going to assuage that pain. [00:31:39]
So, definitely, first thing he's going for, Satan, is stealing the hearts of married people. We've got to be diligent to be very, very protective of our marriages, even over our children, for sure, over our children, because they will just benefit from the fruit of a good marriage.
Laura Dugger: Wow. I love how you said that's going to take a lot of faith.
Jen Rathmell: Yes, lots of faith. And it's going to be very countercultural to not have your children be first.
Laura Dugger: Now, completing that verse, from your experience, how do you view Jesus as giving the family life and life abundantly?
Jen Rathmell: I love the verse where Jesus says, I am the way, I am the truth, I am the life. This verse kind of comes alongside of that, right, where it's like, you think of the way, like Jesus has created a path for us. There's so much imagery in scripture that talks about Jesus lighting the way for us, you know, that God will light the path for us. [00:32:42] He is walking with us. He is beside us. He's illuminating the way.
So we have a God, a God who's willing to help us in our time of need. He's walking with us. He's illuminating the step ahead of us. That's Jesus as the way, the way to God. He's giving us the path there. We have a destination in mind, and he's going to lovingly shepherd us there.
We have the truth, which we have to have, otherwise we're just aimlessly bobbling out in the ocean. So we have something much bigger than ourselves. We have something that we put our faith in, that we believe it's true. I can't tell you how many times my children have said, What if we're wrong, mom? And I love and cringe at that statement, right? And I'm like, We believe what Jesus said.
There's a lot of ways we can unpack this apologetically, but you can't escape the fact that we are going to risk and have faith that Jesus is the truth. He is what he says He is. He has done what He says He will do, and He is preparing a place for us. [00:33:45] So we have a path. We have truth in the person of Jesus, and we see that ethically in our dilemmas and morality today, where we have got to land there and have a safe place.
And then we have life, which is the hope of an unbroken world. I mean, wow. We talked about stealing stuff that Satan's coming to steal. Everywhere you look, it's broken. Everywhere you see something it's broken. So I think we need the promise of life.
Think of a toddler. A day in the life of a toddler is basically like an Imax 3D version of brokenness, right? You have stains and you have dirt and you have punching and you have a human will and you're constraining the human will and you're speaking to a person who just has way too many neurons for his good, and you don't understand why they're not responding to you, and all sorts of problems. And we've got to believe that there's life and restoration and God will come and make this new.
You know, one of the things I was just talking about with one of my friends here, there's these glasses, right, that allow colorblind people to see colors. [00:35:02] If you watch the videos, you'll see so many of these people begin to just break down. They are overcome with emotion and they'll literally kind of fall to the ground.
I teach in my class, I was like, do you know why that's happening? It's because it's a glimpse of life. It's the broken becoming unbroken. It's redemption. And kids are crying in my class. I have goosebumps talking about this because it's exactly what Jesus says. I'm gonna make the world right again. I'm going to allow you to see when you can't see.
And those in Chroma glasses are a picture of what Jesus says He's going to do in our lives. When we see our kids who have messed up and are messing up and will mess up, Jesus is saying, I'm going to put all those things back together again, and I'm going to help you even though you're broken. And redemption is coming. [00:36:02]
If we don't have a path to heaven, if we don't have truth that's bigger than us, and if we don't have the reminder that life is coming, we just aren't going to be able to stay in the game. And that's what Jesus is saying is, I'm going to give you life, and it's going to be abundant. And if we can resonate with all of those truths and things that he says He is, we've got a fighting chance.
Laura Dugger: Well, I think you and I could probably just talk for hours. I'm loving this. But maybe our listeners are about to walk in the door from work or go get their kiddos up from quiet time. So what piece of encouragement would you like to offer them before they transition to the next part of their day?
Jen Rathmell: Discipline yourself to realize it's not the end. It seems like Groundhog Day. I remember that. I remember looking at the clock going, It's only 4 o'clock. I think the last time I looked at the clock, which seemed like hours before, it was 5 to 4. You know, that's like a dark hour, 4 to 5. It's a dark hour before dinner. [00:37:05]
I just remembered being like, I need to remember this, and I need to remember it does go fast. All these wise women in my life said it goes so fast. Well, now I'm hopefully one of those people saying to you, it will go fast. They will be seniors before you know it. And to continue plowing and sowing in faithfulness.
And then sit back and enjoy the ride, because it's God who says He makes the fruit. We are not in charge of making the fruit. We are in charge of being faithful. God is going to pull it all together. It's not about you saying your kid's doing the right thing or he's doing the wrong thing. God's going to put it all together, and there's going to be fruit. And that takes a long time.
It's an act of faith to keep doing the same thing over and over and over and over and over and over again. And God is going to make fruit out of that. He's going to weave all that stuff together. And before you know it, you'll be kind of where I am looking at these people that God gave me and going, Wow, they're humans, and they're going to go do things for the Lord. And they're going to sin against us, and we're going to sin against them, but God is going to help us. I'm so glad that, you know, we did this so long ago. [00:38:20]
Just give yourself the treasure of releasing the outcome. Because God makes the fruit. And then just glory in the days that you've been faithful and say, thank you, Lord, for helping me be faithful today. Help me be faithful tomorrow.
Laura Dugger: My husband and I have a marriage mentor, and he said something similar to what you're saying. That you never reap what you sow in the same season. And I love that you're reminding us just continue to be faithful.
Jen Rathmell: Yeah, God does the work. He does the heavy lifting, really. So you can just kind of sit back and enjoy that, right?
Laura Dugger: Well, we are called The Savvy Sauce because "savvy" is synonymous with practical knowledge or insight. So Jen, what is your savvy sauce?
Jen Rathmell: If I was to tell you anything that has really produced the most fruit in my teaching and in my life, it is never, never, never too early to tell your kids the gospel. You can say it to them when they're infants, swinging in a swing. Just say to them that God loves you so much that He died for you and He wants to continue to redeem you for the rest of your life. Say that to them when you're nursing them. Say that to them when they are two and you think they don't know anything that you're saying to them. [00:39:44]
I think probably one of the most gratifying emails I ever got was a friend of mine who said, Thank you for telling me that it's never too early to tell my kid about the gospel of Christ. My kid has just accepted Christ, and for so many years I've just been telling him the gospel, and he is aware of it and understands it and knows it."
I just think we sometimes don't give our kids the benefit of the doubt that they would understand biblical truths. So use words like redemption and use words like faithfulness and sowing and reaping. Use all of those things.
Faithfully teach even when you think they can't understand the gospel. The image of God is in them. They can understand and it will resonate and bear fruit in them. So don't feel stupid or silly for teaching them the gospel. You want them to hear it from day one till day end. You want them to hear the gospel. So create that appetite in them, and they will respond to it. They will understand the image of God is in them. They will know. [00:40:48]
Laura Dugger: What an incredible topic to close on. Jen, you are such a wise woman and a great role model, so thank you for sharing your time and wisdom with us today.
Jen Rathmell: Yeah, it was so fun. Thank you for inviting me.
Laura Dugger: One more thing before you go. Have you heard the term "gospel" before? It simply means good news. And I want to share the best news with you. But it starts with the bad news. Every single one of us were born sinners and God is perfect and holy, so He cannot be in the presence of sin. Therefore, we're separated from Him.
This means there's absolutely no chance we can make it to heaven on our own. So for you and for me, it means we deserve death and we can never pay back the sacrifice we owe to be saved. We need a savior. But God loved us so much, He made a way for His only Son to willingly die in our place as the perfect substitute.
This gives us hope of life forever in right relationship with Him. That is good news. Jesus lived the perfect life we could never live and died in our place for our sin. [00:42:00] This was God's plan to make a way to reconcile with us so that God can look at us and see Jesus.
We can be covered and justified through the work Jesus finished if we choose to receive what He has done for us. Romans 10:9 says that if you confess with your mouth Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead, you will be saved.
So would you pray with me now? Heavenly, Father, thank You for sending Jesus to take our place. I pray someone today right now is touched and chooses to turn their life over to You. Will You clearly guide them and help them take their next step in faith to declare You as Lord of their life? We trust You to work and change their lives now for eternity. In Jesus name, we pray, amen.
If you prayed that prayer, you are declaring Him for me, so me for Him, you get the opportunity to live your life for Him.
At this podcast, we are called Savvy for a reason. We want to give you practical tools to implement the knowledge you have learned. So you're ready to get started? [00:43:09]
First, tell someone. Say it out loud. Get a Bible. The first day I made this decision my parents took me to Barnes and Noble to get the Quest NIV Bible and I love it. Start by reading the book of John.
Get connected locally, which basically means just tell someone who is part of the church in your community that you made a decision to follow Christ. I'm assuming they will be thrilled to talk with you about further steps such as going to church and getting connected to other believers to encourage you.
We want to celebrate with you too. So feel free to leave a comment for us if you made a decision for Christ. We also have show notes included where you can read Scripture that describes this process.
Finally, be encouraged. Luke 15:10 says, "In the same way, I tell you, there is rejoicing in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner who repents." The heavens are praising with you for your decision today.
If you've already received this good news, I pray that you have someone else to share it with today. You are loved and I look forward to meeting you here next time.
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